Me: Hi, It’s Savvy. Did you want to stay in the group I started or did you want me to take you out? Either way is fine, I just want to make sure you’re aware we need everyone to participate, even just a little. Thanks!
I hit send, no longer overthinking my messages.
Pulling Paul the Planner closer to me, I can’t help appreciating the soft green and deep navy blue stickers I’ve decorated that week’s dashboard with. The pinkish mauve flowers feel almost too girly for the week. Sometimes I feel girly and sometimes I feel like I could knock someone’s teeth in, if I have to.
That week just happens to be one of those times.
My phone rings and I glance out into the food truck lot to make sure it’s still relatively quiet before I answer. I lift the phone and scowl. Keith. What could he possibly want with me?
Nothing for twenty years and now he calls?
I pick up the phone and swipe the screen. “Keith, what do you need?” I’m not trying to be rude, I swear, but sometimes… I can’t help the way I feel about him.
“Sav, how’s it going?” Sav… the nickname he uses when he wants something.
I clench my teeth and speak through them. “What do you want?” Why beat around the bush? There’s no point in us talking. We have a very detailed schedule. If he doesn’t uphold his end of the deal, then that’s it. We’re out and I get the kids full time.
The sad thing is, he hasn’t wanted the kids for his time in almost three months. He just makes up excuses that get lamer and lamer each time.
Even the kids are starting to doubt their importance to him. That fact just angers me and I glare at a random spot in the ceiling without seeing it and wait for him to reply.
“Well, actually, if you want me to just jump right in, then, okay.” He clears his throat and I can almost hear him digging through his brain for the right words.
I wish he would just spit it out. What do you want so I can say no? I want to yell at him.
“Well, the thing is… I can’t take the kids the rest of this month.” He almost mumbles the words like he can’t think of another way to say it to me.
I press my fingertips to my forehead and rub up and down, up and down, as if there’s a migraine building. Oh, wait, there is and I’m going to name it Keith. “You what? You realize you haven’t seen them in three months, Keith, right? Three months! Abby thinks you’re mad at her and I have no idea what Dexter thinks because he won’t talk to me. About you.” I clamp my mouth shut and open my eyes. That was too much information for Keith. He doesn’t need to know about us.
It’s his loss he wants to cancel time with the kids. I know this, but I wish I could make my kids see this.
“You always do this, Savanah. You try to make everything my fault. Well, I’m just trying to get more hours at work so I can pay the bills.” His anger is more than likely at himself, but he has to direct it toward someone. Since I’m the ex, I guess that’s on my list of job duties.
“What happened? Did Penelope leave you?” And I wait for his snarky reply, but one doesn’t come. I straighten where I’m sitting and tuck my chin. “Wait, Keith, did she leave you?” I’m suddenly more serious. I don’t want Penelope to leave him. If she does, Keith might think he can come home. That’s a hard pass on my side.
But what if he thinks that’s an option?
“Look, we’re having some… time apart right now and I have to pay the bills for my new place. I just need some more hours at work until I figure things out.” He must be desperate to even tell me that much.
I sigh. Of course, he needs more hours if he’s going to make more money. He works at a theme park in a job that is usually reserved for teenagers. He’s an almost forty-year-old man who is trying to pay the bills on a teen’s wage.
He doesn’t even make enough to pay child support.
I pick up the pencil beside my planner and bite my bottom lip before I say something I’ll regret. Taking a minute, I flip through the next few weeks and narrow my eyes before acknowledging him in the silence that has fallen between us.
“The thing is, Keith, I expect you to step up. You couldn’t do that for me when we were married. You couldn’t do it for the kids. You better start or you’re going to lose them. I won’t lie for you forever.” But he’s hung up before I can even finish my diatribe.
I set my cell phone down and stare at the electronic device. The second-hand cell I had to get because when mine broke I couldn’t replace it because I don’t make enough money. We made money before the divorce, before Keith freaked out on us and left. We had money then. Plenty.
But now? I’m barely scraping by to pay the mortgage, utilities, food and other things that come up as well as business expenses.
Why can’t Keith see this? Why does he have to put everything I work toward to the back of the priority list? I need some of those weekends off. I need a break from being the only adult in my life. I get that things are hard for him, but he is only one person. That’s it. I simply need the kids taken care of for a few hours where I don’t need to worry about them.
Why can’t he see that?
Why doesn’t anyone see that?
I lift my gaze to the ceiling, clench my hands into fists and scream with my mouth shut. I might even stomp my feet, but I’ll never admit it.
After my mini temper tantrum, I lick my lower lip and smooth my hair before opening my eyes and staring smack into the dark brown eyes of The BBQ Knox.
Dang him and his five o’clock stubble that seems to say it’s always five o’clock. Or the fact that the muscles in his biceps bulge against the tight material of his sleeves. Or even worse, the thick head of hair he has pushed back from his forehead.
Oh, remember that text about his tribal tattoo? I have no idea what it looks like completely, but it might wrap up and over his shoulders. Dang it. I think my knees are a little weak.
I know my breathing has sped up and slowed down and honestly, I can’t tell if I’m breathing shallowly or gasping. Hopefully, I don’t pass out.
Swallowing, pasting a prim smile on my mouth and step forward, I fold my hands at my waist. “Um, yes, excuse me. What can I do for you?” I don’t use his name. I don’t acknowledge the fact that I just had a mini-breakdown or that I was losing my control in front of him.
I didn’t lose my control. I can’t lose my control. What would I do if I lost my firm grip on the reins of the slim control I barely have?
I have no idea, but I have a feeling it won’t be good.
And if I do all that in front of Knox, I’ll lose my pride, too.
Once again, I feel the stirrings of something chaotic fluttering in my stomach. I will not lose control though. I hold my smile in place and wait for him to reply to my question.
If he hadn’t wanted to witness craziness, he could go somewhere else.
Chapter 4
Knox
I bite my tongue. Savvy was close to losing it. I’ve seen the signs before in my sister and she wasn’t running her own business or raising her children on her own. A couple times a month, though, Christine needs to run away and take a break.
Shifting my work boots on the compacted gravel beneath me, I’m not sure where to look.
Finally, I jerk my chin up, nervous around this woman who always seems to have everything together, but who gives little glimpses into the impending hell that has to be her life. “You okay?”
Savvy’s remarkable eyes flash and she lifts her chin. Any higher and she’s going to be staring up at the sky. “I’m fine. Thank you. Did you need something in particular?” She lifts her hands and then knits her eyebrows together. “Why would you think something is wrong?” Like I didn’t just witness the mini-tantrum.
If she doen’t want me to mention it, then I won’t mention it. I clear my throat. “I just assumed you must be overwhelmed. My sister has twins and she loses her sanity once or twice a week.” I half-shrug, careful not to focus on the bright points of color in her cheeks, or the heat flushing into mine
.
I reach up, massaging at the back of my neck and then immediately drop my hand. I don’t want to seem nervous around her, even though I most definitely am.
Something in her countenance softens and she steps closer to the window. “You have a sister? With kids? That’s… Surprising.”
I chuckle, shaking my head. “Yeah, out of the two of us, she definitely isn’t the one I pictured settling down.”
Savvy’s lips part and I’m entranced. We stand there for a moment in silence and just stare at each other. She obviously has no idea how intoxicating she is, even under all that control.
Someone yells off to the side of the parking lot and we snap out of the unintentional hypnosis. Was she as affected by me as I am by her?
She blinks and unfolds her arms. “I don’t mean to be rude, Knox, but did you need something?”
I blink again and nod. “Actually, yes, I came over here to get your dessert sampler.” My sister is due for a treat and her husband called me a little bit ago to see if I could find something she could have on her diet. Keto treats were on my mind all day simply because I could see the Killer Miller Keto trailer from my own truck.
That’s the only reason. I swear.
She pulls back and cocks her head, a flirtatious glint in her eyes. “No.”
“No?” Did she really just turn down a sale? My jaw is slack and I drop my hands to my sides. The sounds around me grow louder and I’m not sure what I should do. How do I take a rejection of a sale? I’ve never been told no, I couldn’t buy something before.
Savvy half-shrugs one shoulder. “I can’t sell you my keto dishes. You’ll copy them.” She smiles like she’s joking, but I kind of sense she’s partially serious.
I loosen my stance and shake my head. “No, trust me. I have no interest in copying keto desserts.” She has to know about my keto offerings. I rush on. “I made sure my keto dishes don’t copy yours and I’m only offering them because my sister swears by keto and sometimes, she wants me to bring things to her ‘cause she’s too tired to make dinner.”
“You and your sister sound close.” She grabs a box and starts loading items into it from various containers.
I move to rest my hand on the edge of the trailer and glance around the food trailer lot. Things will start picking up soon. I want to stay, but I can’t for long. “Yeah, we are. David and I are closer because we’re boys and he is determined to have a better relationship with me than Christine, but I’m still close to her. We’re a pretty tight family.” I smile and reach into my pocket, pulling out cash to hand up to her.
She slips a brightly designed sticker onto the corner of the closed box top and slides the box across the counter, then pulls it back. She furrows her brow as she stares down at me. “How do I know I can trust you? What if you take these and start selling desserts, too?”
“What if I promise?” My sister used to make me pinky swear. If I offer to do that, I might lose points for masculinity. On the other hand, it might be enough to make her smile… or even laugh.
“If I can’t trust you, then your promise means nothing, right?” She takes a deep breath like it really is a problem that she’s mulling over.
I hook my pinky and lean forward, keeping my voice low. The last thing I need is Sylvia overhearing and the men at her trailer thinking I have a machismo problem. “What if I pinky swear?”
Savvy glances at my finger and then at my face, searching to see if I’m serious. Oh, I’m definitely serious. I’ll do whatever I need to do to prove I’m trustworthy. I can’t say that out loud though. That will just mark me as extra creepy.
I learned that much from my sister.
She finally chuckles and shakes her head, her braid moving behind her shoulders with the movement. “Okay, I know you can’t be trusted now.” But she laughs. She actually laughs and I’m struck silent at the transformation over her normally stoic and resting-witch-face.
Making her laugh again has just become my life’s goal.
Savvy reaches the box across to me, taking the money at the same time. Our fingertips touch and I swear my chest swells. She’s aware. I can see it in the way her eyes flick to mine and then back down as she rushes to her register.
She’s flustered and I’m not sure how to salvage the situation without making it more uncomfortable. She could have been made out of lightning for all the electricity shooting through me at her touch.
I’m not sure what to say. I stare at her, pulling the box closer to my side. “Well, um, thanks for this. I promise I won’t steal the recipes.” Why did I say that? I’m an idiot. I know it. She’s got to know it. Like she needs me repeating it.
Savvy narrows her eyes. “We already established that. Are you planning something else?”
I can’t tell if she’s joking or not. “You really are wound tight, aren’t you? Uptight and a food trailer aren’t the best way to roll.” I lamely lift my hand and wave my goodbye as I stride back to my trailer.
Yes, I’m an idiot. Yes, I might be rusty at flirting because that was definitely not a flirtatious line. Yes, I definitely want to ask out the owner of the keto trailer, but she’s a single mom and there’s a lot of pressure not to mess that up. Plus, I probably just ruined my chances with my rude comment.
No wonder I can’t find a woman to commit to me.
Not to mention the fact that I have no idea what I do specifically wrong in relationships. Was what I just said a deal breaker? Not even together and I’m already losing.
If I try to get together with Savvy and I mess things up, that wouldn’t just be bad for her and me, it would potentially be bad for her two kids who have already been through so much. Divorce isn’t easy, no matter how it came about.
I close the distance to the BBQ trailer and step inside, rolling my eyes at David who’s sitting in the chair and leaning on the counter with his head in his arms. “Thank goodness I have you here to watch my business. Who knows what might happen, if you weren’t.” I set my jaw to the side, on edge suddenly. I nudge his knee with mine as I pass by, setting the box of treats on the counter near his head. “Hey, loser, I need your phone.”
I still can’t find my phone. The thing has been missing for almost two weeks and I have a sneaking suspicion my younger brother is the culprit. Which means, it isn’t in the same spot. Ever.
He’s probably taking it home, charging it, and then bringing it back to hide around the trailer.
Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder what the good of keeping him around is.
He lifts his head, blearily blinking at me with one eye. The other having been swollen shut and discolored blues, purples, and bright magenta.
Exhaling on a whoosh, I fold my arms and glance out the window before focusing back on David. “What’d you do this time? Was it down at Lucky Lils?” David is sporadic. He gets in fights, but not all the time. He usually goes on benders but they last a weekend and never more than twice in a year. It’s not like he has any problems. He is the youngest. What could he possibly have to worry about?
He shakes his head, closing his good eye. “I wish this was a fight. In fact, that’s what I’m going with. I’m going to tell people you beat me up.” He furrows his brow. “No, wait. That would let people think you’re stronger than me.” His thin runner’s physique compared to my bulkier form won’t suggest that?
I smirk at him. “Get to what happened, Davey.”
He sighs. “It’s not a big deal.” He glances past me toward the window and then back to me, the uninjured parts of his face flushing. “I forgot I’m watching Mom and Dad’s place last night. So, I rushed over there and was trying to get inside. I couldn’t find their spare key and when I bent down to look under the mat, I slammed my face into the railing.” He looks away from me, probably to avoid the smile spreading across my own face.
Wrong Text, Right Reply: A Sweet Accidental Romance (An Accidental But Perfect Romance Book 1) Page 4