by Aristophanes
CARIO. Because I used to share it with you, you rogue; some cake or other always came your way.
HERMES. Which afterwards you ate up all by yourself.
CARIO. But then you did not share the blows when I was caught.
HERMES. Forget past injuries, now you have taken Phylé. Ah! how I should like to live with you! Take pity and receive me.
CARIO. You would leave the gods to stop here?
HERMES. One is much better off among you.
CARIO. What! you would desert! Do you think that is honest?
HERMES. “Where I live well, there is my country.”
CARIO. But how could we employ you here?
HERMES. Place me near the door; I am the watchman god and would shift off the robbers.
CARIO. Shift off! Ah! but we have no love for shifts.
HERMES. Entrust me with business dealings.
CARIO. But we are rich; why should we keep a haggling Hermes?
HERMES. Let me intrigue for you.
CARIO. No, no, intrigues are forbidden; we believe in good faith.
HERMES. I will work for you as a guide.
CARIO. But the god sees clearly now, so we no longer want a guide.
HERMES. Well then, I will preside over the games. Ah! what can you object to in that? Nothing is fitter for Plutus than to give scenic and gymnastic games.
CARIO. How useful ’tis to have so many names! Here you have found the means of earning your bread. I don’t wonder the jurymen so eagerly try to get entered for many tribunals.
HERMES. So then, you admit me on these terms.
CARIO. Go and wash the entrails of the victims at the well, so that you may show yourself serviceable at once.
A PRIEST OF ZEUS. Can anyone direct me where Chremylus is?
CHREMYLUS. What would you with him, friend?
PRIEST. Much ill. Since Plutus has recovered his sight, I am perishing of starvation; I, the priest of Zeus the Deliverer, have nothing to eat!
CHREMYLUS. And what is the cause of that, pray?
PRIEST. No one dreams of offering sacrifices.
CHREMYLUS. Why not?
PRIEST. Because all men are rich. Ah! when they had nothing, the merchant who escaped from shipwreck, the accused who was acquitted, all immolated victims; another would sacrifice for the success of some wish and the priest joined in at the feast; but now there is not the smallest victim, not one of the faithful in the temple, but thousands who come there to ease themselves.
CHREMYLUS. Don’t you take your share of those offerings?
PRIEST. Hence I think I too am going to say good-bye to Zeus the
Deliverer, and stop here myself.
CHREMYLUS. Be at ease, all will go well, if it so please the god. Zeus the Deliverer is here; he came of his own accord.
PRIEST. Ha! that’s good news.
CHREMYLUS. Wait a little; we are going to install Plutus presently in the place he formerly occupied behind the Temple of Athené; there he will watch over our treasures for ever. But let lighted torches be brought; take these and walk in solemn procession in front of the god.
PRIEST. That’s magnificent!
CHREMYLUS. Let Plutus be summoned.
OLD WOMAN. And I, what am I to do?
CHREMYLUS. Take the pots of vegetables which we are going to offer to the god in honour of his installation and carry them on your head; you just happen luckily to be wearing a beautiful embroidered robe.
OLD WOMAN. And what about the object of my coming?
CHREMYLUS. Everything shall be according to your wish. The young man will be with you this evening.
OLD WOMAN. Oh! if you promise me his visit, I will right willingly carry the pots.
CHREMYLUS. Those are strange pots indeed! Generally the scum rises to the top of the pots, but here the pots are raised to the top of the old woman.
CHORUS. Let us withdraw without more tarrying, and follow the others, singing as we go.
The Greek Texts
The Theatre of Dionysus in Athens, where many of Aristophanes’ comedies were first performed
The plan of an ancient theatre
LIST OF GREEK TEXTS
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CONTENTS
THE ACHARNIANS
THE KNIGHTS
THE CLOUDS
THE WASPS
PEACE
THE BIRDS
LYSISTRATA
THE WOMEN CELEBRATING THE THESMOPHORIA
THE FROGS
THE ASSEMBLYWOMEN
WEALTH
THE ACHARNIANS
Δικαιόπολις
ὅσα δὴ δέδηγμαι τὴν ἐμαυτοῦ καρδίαν,
ἥσθην δὲ βαιά, πάνυ δὲ βαιά, τέτταρα·
ἃ δ᾽ ὠδυνήθην, ψαμμακοσιογάργαρα.
φέρ᾽ ἴδω, τί δ᾽ ἥσθην ἄξιον χαιρηδόνος;
ἐγᾦδ᾽ ἐφ᾽ ᾧ γε τὸ κέαρ ηὐφράνθην ἰδών, 5
τοῖς πέντε ταλάντοις οἷς Κλέων ἐξήμεσεν.
ταῦθ᾽ ὡς ἐγανώθην, καὶ φιλῶ τοὺς ἱππέας
διὰ τοῦτο τοὔργον· ἄξιον γὰρ Ἑλλάδι.
ἀλλ᾽ ὠδυνήθην ἕτερον αὖ τραγῳδικόν,
ὅτε δὴ ᾽κεχήνη προσδοκῶν τὸν Αἰσχύλον, 10
ὁ δ᾽ ἀνεῖπεν, εἴσαγ᾽ ὦ Θέογνι τὸν χορόν.
πῶς τοῦτ᾽ ἔσεισέ μου δοκεῖς τὴν καρδίαν;
ἀλλ᾽ ἕτερον ἥσθην, ἡνίκ᾽ ἐπὶ Μόσχῳ ποτὲ
Δεξίθεος εἰσῆλθ᾽ ᾀσόμενος Βοιώτιον.
τῆτες δ᾽ ἀπέθανον καὶ διεστράφην ἰδών, 15
ὅτε δὴ παρέκυψε Χαῖρις ἐπὶ τὸν ὄρθιον.
ἀλλ᾽ οὐδεπώποτ᾽ ἐξ ὅτου ᾽γὼ ῥύπτομαι
οὕτως ἐδήχθην ὑπὸ κονίας τὰς ὀφρῦς
ὡς νῦν, ὁπότ᾽ οὔσης κυρίας ἐκκλησίας
ἑωθινῆς ἔρημος ἡ πνὺξ αὑτηί, 20
οἱ δ᾽ ἐν ἀγορᾷ λαλοῦσι κἄνω καὶ κάτω
τὸ σχοινίον φεύγουσι τὸ μεμιλτωμένον.
οὐδ᾽ οἱ πρυτάνεις ἥκουσιν, ἀλλ᾽ ἀωρίαν
ἥκοντες, εἶτα δ᾽ ὠστιοῦνται πῶς δοκεῖς
ἐλθόντες ἀλλήλοισι περὶ πρώτου ξύλου, 25
ἁθρόοι καταρρέοντες· εἰρήνη δ᾽ ὅπως
ἔσται προτιμῶσ᾽ οὐδέν· ὦ πόλις πόλις.
ἐγὼ δ᾽ ἀεὶ πρώτιστος εἰς ἐκκλησίαν
νοστῶν κάθημαι· κᾆτ᾽ ἐπειδὰν ὦ μόνος,
στένω κέχηνα σκορδινῶμαι πέρδομαι, 30
ἀπορῶ γράφω παρατίλλομαι λογίζομαι,
ἀποβλέπων ἐς τὸν ἀγρὸν εἰρήνης ἐρῶν,
στυγῶν μὲν ἄστυ τὸν δ᾽ ἐμὸν δῆμον ποθῶν,
ὃς οὐδεπώποτ᾽ εἶπεν, ἄνθρακας πρίω,
οὐκ ὄξος οὐκ ἔλαιον, οὐδ᾽ ᾔδει “πρίω,” 35
ἀλλ᾽ αὐτὸς ἔφερε πάντα χὠ πρίων ἀπῆν.
νῦν οὖν ἀτεχνῶς ἥκω παρεσκευασμένος
βοᾶν ὑποκρούειν λοιδορεῖν τοὺς ῥήτορας,
ἐάν τις ἄ
λλο πλὴν περὶ εἰρήνης λέγῃ.
ἀλλ᾽ οἱ πρυτάνεις γὰρ οὑτοιὶ μεσημβρινοί. 40
οὐκ ἠγόρευον; τοῦτ᾽ ἐκεῖν᾽ οὑγὼ ᾽λεγον·
ἐς τὴν προεδρίαν πᾶς ἀνὴρ ὠστίζεται.
Κῆρυξ
πάριτ᾽ ἐς τὸ πρόσθεν,
πάριθ᾽, ὡς ἂν ἐντὸς ἦτε τοῦ καθάρματος.
Ἀμφίθεος
ἤδη τις εἶπε; 45
Κῆρ. τίς ἀγορεύειν βούλεται;
Ἀμφ. ἐγώ.
Κῆρ. τίς ὤν;
Ἀμφ. Ἀμφίθεος.
Κῆρ. οὐκ ἄνθρωπος;
Ἀμφ. οὔ,
ἀλλ᾽ ἀθάνατος. ὁ γὰρ Ἀμφίθεος Δήμητρος ἦν
καὶ Τριπτολέμου· τούτου δὲ Κελεὸς γίγνεται·
γαμεῖ δὲ Κελεὸς Φαιναρέτην τήθην ἐμήν,
ἐξ ἧς Λυκῖνος ἐγένε᾽· ἐκ τούτου δ᾽ ἐγὼ 50
ἀθάνατός εἰμ᾽· ἐμοὶ δ᾽ ἐπέτρεψαν οἱ θεοὶ
σπονδὰς ποιεῖσθαι πρὸς Λακεδαιμονίους μόνῳ.
ἀλλ᾽ ἀθάνατος ὢν ὦνδρες ἐφόδι᾽ οὐκ ἔχω·
οὐ γὰρ διδόασιν οἱ πρυτάνεις.
Κῆρ. οἱ τοξόται.
Ἀμφ: ὦ Τριπτόλεμε καὶ Κελεὲ περιόψεσθέ με; 55
Δικ.:
ὦνδρες πρυτάνεις ἀδικεῖτε τὴν ἐκκλησίαν
τὸν ἄνδρ᾽ ἀπάγοντες, ὅστις ἡμῖν ἤθελε
σπονδὰς ποιεῖσθαι καὶ κρεμάσαι τὰς ἀσπίδας.
Κῆρ. κάθησο, σῖγα.
Δικ.: μὰ τὸν Ἀπόλλω ᾽γὼ μὲν οὔ,
ἢν μὴ περὶ εἰρήνης γε πρυτανεύσητέ μοι. 60
Κῆρ. οἱ πρέσβεις οἱ παρὰ βασιλέως.
Δικ.: ποίου βασιλέως; ἄχθομαι ᾽γὼ πρέσβεσιν
καὶ τοῖς ταὧσι τοῖς τ᾽ ἀλαζονεύμασιν.
Κῆρ. σίγα.
Δικ.: βαβαιάξ. ὦκβάτανα τοῦ σχήματος.
Πρέσβυς
ἐπέμψαθ᾽ ἡμᾶς ὡς βασιλέα τὸν μέγαν 65
μισθὸν φέροντας δύο δραχμὰς τῆς ἡμέρας
ἐπ᾽ Εὐθυμένους ἄρχοντος.
Δικ.: οἴμοι τῶν δραχμῶν.
Πρ.: καὶ δῆτ᾽ ἐτρυχόμεσθα διὰ Καϋστρίων
πεδίων ὁδοιπλανοῦντες ἐσκηνημένοι,
ἐφ᾽ ἁρμαμαξῶν μαλθακῶς κατακείμενοι, 70
ἀπολλύμενοι.
Δικ.: σφόδρα γὰρ ἐσῳζόμην ἐγὼ
παρὰ τὴν ἔπαλξιν ἐν φορυτῷ κατακείμενος.
Πρ.: ξενιζόμενοι δὲ πρὸς βίαν ἐπίνομεν
ἐξ ὑαλίνων ἐκπωμάτων καὶ χρυσίδων
ἄκρατον οἶνον ἡδύν. 75
Δικ.: ὦ Κραναὰ πόλις
ἆρ᾽ αἰσθάνει τὸν κατάγελων τῶν πρέσβεων;
Πρ.: οἱ βάρβαροι γὰρ ἄνδρας ἡγοῦνται μόνους
τοὺς πλεῖστα δυναμένους καταφαγεῖν καὶ πιεῖν.
Δικ.: ἡμεῖς δὲ λαικαστάς τε καὶ καταπύγονας.
Πρ.: ἔτει τετάρτῳ δ᾽ ἐς τὰ βασίλει᾽ ἤλθομεν· 80
ἀλλ᾽ εἰς ἀπόπατον ᾤχετο στρατιὰν λαβών,
κἄχεζεν ὀκτὼ μῆνας ἐπὶ χρυσῶν ὀρῶν.
Δικ.: πόσου δὲ τὸν πρωκτὸν χρόνου ξυνήγαγεν;
Πρ.: τῇ πανσελήνῳ· κᾆτ᾽ ἀπῆλθεν οἴκαδε.
εἶτ᾽ ἐξένιζε· παρετίθει δ᾽ ἡμῖν ὅλους 85
ἐκ κριβάνου βοῦς.
Δικ.: καὶ τίς εἶδε πώποτε
βοῦς κριβανίτας; τῶν ἀλαζονευμάτων.
Πρ.: καὶ ναὶ μὰ Δί᾽ ὄρνιν τριπλάσιον Κλεωνύμου
παρέθηκεν ἡμῖν· ὄνομα δ᾽ ἦν αὐτῷ φέναξ.
Δικ.: ταῦτ᾽ ἄρ ἐφενάκιζες σὺ δύο δραχμὰς φέρων. 90
Πρ.: καὶ νῦν ἄγοντες ἥκομεν Ψευδαρτάβαν,
τὸν βασιλέως ὀφθαλμόν.
Δικ.: ἐκκόψειέ γε
κόραξ πατάξας, τόν τε σὸν τοῦ πρέσβεως.
Κῆρ. ὁ βασιλέως ὀφθαλμός.
Δικ.: ὦναξ Ἡράκλεις.
πρὸς τῶν θεῶν ἄνθρωπε ναύφαρκτον βλέπεις; 95
ἢ περὶ ἄκραν κάμπτων νεώσοικον σκοπεῖς;
ἄσκωμ᾽ ἔχεις που περὶ τὸν ὀφθαλμὸν κάτω.
Πρ.: ἄγε δὴ σὺ βασιλεὺς ἅττα σ᾽ ἀπέπεμψεν φράσον
λέξοντ᾽ Ἀθηναίοισιν ὦ Ψευδαρτάβα.
Ψευδαρτάβας
ἰαρταμὰν ἐξάρξαν ἀπισσόνα σάτρα. 100
Πρ.: ξυνήκαθ᾽ ὃ λέγει;
Δικ.: μὰ τὸν Ἀπόλλω ᾽γὼ μὲν οὔ.
Πρ.: πέμψειν βασιλέα φησὶν ὑμῖν χρυσίον.
λέγε δὴ σὺ μεῖζον καὶ σαφῶς τὸ χρυσίον.
Ψευδαρτάβας
οὐ λῆψι χρῦσο χαυνόπρωκτ᾽ Ἰαοναῦ.
Δικ.: οἴμοι κακοδαίμων ὡς σαφῶς. 105
Πρ.: τί δ᾽ αὖ λέγει;
Δικ.: ὅ τι; χαυνοπρώκτους τοὺς Ἰάονας λέγει,
εἰ προσδοκῶσι χρυσίον ἐκ τῶν βαρβάρων.
Πρ.: οὔκ, ἀλλ᾽ ἀχάνας ὅδε γε χρυσίου λέγει.
Δικ.: ποίας ἀχάνας; σὺ μὲν ἀλαζὼν εἶ μέγας.
ἀλλ᾽ ἄπιθ᾽· ἐγὼ δὲ βασανιῶ τοῦτον μόνος. 110
ἄγε δὴ σὺ φράσον ἐμοὶ σαφῶς πρὸς τουτονί,
ἵνα μή σε βάψω βάμμα Σαρδιανικόν·
βασιλεὺς ὁ μέγας ἡμῖν ἀποπέμψει χρυσίον; (ἀνανεύει.)
ἄλλως ἄρ᾽ ἐξαπατώμεθ᾽ ὑπὸ τῶν πρέσβεων; (ἐπινεύει.)
Ἑλληνικόν γ᾽ ἐπένευσαν ἅνδρες οὑτοιί, 115
κοὐκ ἔσθ᾽ ὅπως οὐκ εἰσὶν ἐνθένδ᾽ αὐτόθεν.
καὶ τοῖν μὲν εὐνούχοιν τὸν ἕτερον τουτονὶ
ἐγᾦδ᾽ ὅς ἐστι, Κλεισθένης ὁ Σιβυρτίου.
ὦ θερμόβουλον πρωκτὸν ἐξυρημένε,
τοιόνδε γ᾽ ὦ πίθηκε τὸν πώγων᾽ ἔχων
εὐνοῦχος ἡμῖν ἦλθες ἐσκευασμένος; 120
ὁδὶ δὲ τίς ποτ᾽
ἐστίν; οὐ δήπου Στράτων;
Κῆρ. σίγα, κάθιζε.
τὸν βασιλέως ὀφθαλμὸν ἡ βουλὴ καλεῖ
ἐς τὸ πρυτανεῖον. 125
Δικ.: ταῦτα δῆτ᾽ οὐχ ἀγχόνη;
κἄπειτ᾽ ἐγὼ δῆτ᾽ ἐνθαδὶ στραγγεύομαι;
τοὺς δὲ ξενίζειν οὐδέποτέ γ᾽ ἴσχει θύρα.
ἀλλ᾽ ἐργάσομαί τι δεινὸν ἔργον καὶ μέγα.
ἀλλ᾽ Ἀμφίθεός μοι ποῦ ᾽στιν;
Ἀμφ: οὑτοσὶ πάρα.
Δικ.: ἐμοὶ σὺ ταυτασὶ λαβὼν ὀκτὼ δραχμὰς 130
σπονδὰς ποίησαι πρὸς Λακεδαιμονίους μόνῳ
καὶ τοῖσι παιδίοισι καὶ τῇ πλάτιδι·
ὑμεῖς δὲ πρεσβεύεσθε καὶ κεχήνετε.
Κῆρ. προσίτω Θέωρος ὁ παρὰ Σιτάλκους.
Θέωρος
ὁδί.
Δικ.: ἕτερος ἀλαζὼν οὗτος ἐσκηρύττεται. 135
Θέωρος
χρόνον μὲν οὐκ ἂν ἦμεν ἐν Θρᾴκῃ πολύν —
Δικ.: μὰ Δί᾽ οὐκ ἄν, εἰ μισθόν γε μὴ ᾽φερες πολύν.
Θέωρος
εἰ μὴ κατένειψε χιόνι τὴν Θρᾴκην ὅλην
καὶ τοὺς ποταμοὺς ἔπηξ᾽,
ὑπ᾽ αὐτὸν τὸν χρόνον,
ὅτ᾽ ἐνθαδὶ Θέογνις ἠγωνίζετο. 140
τοῦτον μετὰ Σιτάλκους ἔπινον τὸν χρόνον·
καὶ δῆτα φιλαθήναιος ἦν ὑπερφυῶς,
ὑμῶν τ᾽ ἐραστὴς ἦν ἀληθὴς ὥστε καὶ
ἐν τοῖσι τοίχοις ἔγραφ᾽, Ἀθηναῖοι καλοί.
ὁ δ᾽ υἱός, ὃν Ἀθηναῖον ἐπεποιήμεθα, 145
ἤρα φαγεῖν ἀλλᾶντας ἐξ Ἀπατουρίων,
καὶ τὸν πατέρ᾽ ἠντεβόλει βοηθεῖν τῇ πάτρᾳ·
ὁ δ᾽ ὤμοσε σπένδων βοηθήσειν ἔχων