by Jeff Seats
Of course, she didn't need to explain herself to her parents, not the golden child. She could bring home a gorilla and introduce him as her husband, and her parents would have taken them to the fanciest dinner in town and shown the happy couple off to all their friends. By the time Jenna graduated from college, she had no doubts as to which side of the fence she fell on. She was a lesbian. And, while not strident, she was in no way bashful about letting the world know it.
Now she was going to visit her parents in Portland after a couple of years of learning the comedy ropes in Chicago. Chi-town was a happening place for new comedy talent but she was due for a change and Portland was a new “In” spot and definitely diversity friendly.
However, she obviously had no pressing need to get there anytime soon. Choosing to book her trip cross country using the cheapest of cheap bus lines may have saved her money, but this was the second time that the direction she thought she was going in was not taking her closer to her end destination. The first was when she wound up in Reno. Close to Portland by about 500 miles or so to the south but still, she was making progress. At any rate, this would make great material for her act. And besides, she had Kelvin to share it all.
Kelvin Jarrett had the aisle seat next to Jenna where he always sat, on trains, planes, buses, the L. Jenna wanted the window seat so she could look out at the view and Kelvin let her do just about what she wanted. Not that he minded though it could kind of hurt when she used him as her verbal punching bag in her stand-up routine. Kelvin was to Jenna what Fang was to Phyllis Diller or Edgar to Joan Rivers. He could almost hear Jenna paraphrasing the old Henny Youngman bit, “Take my Kelvin. Please!” But he took it all in good stride in spite of some minor hurt feelings. Jenna needed him. He's her sounding board, and she's his family. Not that he grew up without a family but in rural Prue, Oklahoma guys like him were not readily accepted, and parents were inclined to reject their children who did not act like “normal” kids.
In his high school years, Kelvin was an outsider and hung out with the small group that did not fit into the social norms of his age group. His “group” wore outlandish outfits: cub scout shirts under black dusters, orange colored hair, black nail polish, Doc Martin boots, etc. Kelvin was known as a “Dork” and did his best to reinforce that perception. He saw himself as a sort of Ferris Bueller type only without the popularity.
On his sixteenth birthday, his father had gotten tickets to a Redhawks game in Oklahoma City. His dad had never paid attention to whether Kelvin liked baseball or not and telling him otherwise would spoil this real father/son outing. He could still remember the warmth of his father's arm around his shoulder. This rare, outward sign of affection weakened Kelvin, who lowered his guard thinking that they had achieved some new level in their relationship.
To Kelvin going to a baseball game had to be the most tiresome thing to do next to watching paint dry but for some reason, he felt excited to be sitting with his dad, like he could tell him anything and his father seemed to show interest in his son for the first time in years. It started with small talk. Dad asking him how school was going. Kelvin responding.
“Ball!”
Dad asking about what subjects he liked most. Kelvin responding.
“Safe!”
Dad asking about college and his aspirations. Kelvin responding.
“Take me out to the ballgame. Take me out...”
Dad: asking if he was interested in any girls at school. Kelvin responding. “Well, I, um...I'm not sure there are any girls that I'm interested in.” Dad's slightly surprised expression. In retrospect, his dad's line of questioning was a setup, a trap that Kelvin fell right into. “I’m not sure I like girls. In that sort of way.”
“Strike three!”
“You mean you like boys?”, came his father's sharp reply.
“Um, no sir. I...not boys either. I don't know what I like.”
“You're outa there!”
The two-hour ride from Bricktown back to Prue was in total silence. Kelvin went to bed and listened to at least another hour’s worth of his father yelling to his mother about “fags, queers, and perverts living in his house.”
That night Kelvin began planning for the day he would leave that house and that town. Maybe head somewhere, anywhere big enough where he might fit in better. It was in Chicago where he met Jenna. He was waiting tables at a small comedy club where Jenna was the warm up act. Kelvin could tell that she was nervous and needed to calm down, so he slipped her a couple of cocktails which she downed appreciatively. It was the beginning of an unbreakable partnership.
So here he was following her to the coast. Of course, he couldn't say no. Jenna was/is the first girl he was ever close to. Her being a lesbian made their bond seem safe with none of the sexual expectations that hovered around intimate relationships. He had a feeling that this trip was not going to be just a “visit” with Jenna's parents. He felt that she was going to stay in Portland at least for the foreseeable future. Kelvin was okay with that. Portland seemed like the kind of place where he could find more of his kind.
Kelvin turned and gave Jenna a smile then hugged her.
“What's that for?” Jenna asked at the hug that came out of the blue?
“I just love you is all.”
“Oh, if that's all...I love you too Kel,” she said returning the hug.
Marion O'Neil sat nearby idly fussing over Cindra; picking off bits of lint from her sweater and brushing her hair. She smiled at the sincere affection she saw in Jenna and Kelvin's hug. It was obvious that they shared a loving bond that superseded sex and she felt a twinge of jealousy in seeing that type of relationship. Looking over to Wilson, Marion wondered, Were we ever that close? And if we were, what happened? Redirecting her attention she continued to fawn over her daughter which was what she did when the thoughts in her head became too much to handle.
Wilson sat staring off into the distance with a blank face. His thoughts were unreadable to the rest, but when things began to slow down, and he had time to think, he always would find himself back at the office second guessing his choices. The business was not just a victim of market circumstance; he knew that his decisions had driven the company into the ground, and he blamed himself for that and for putting his family into this awkward position. So here they were on the side of a dusty road heading to a tiny town where he would pour beer and clean grease traps.
Usually, Marion could find a way to distract him, but this bus thing was so out of the ordinary that she found herself at a loss. Wilson would have to fight his demons all on his own this time. She only hoped that he would not descend to that dark place he sometimes found himself. It scared her and worst of all it scared Cindra.
Steph spent a lot of the time just roaming the area. She wandered quite a distance from the bus but never out of view of it. She kicked a few stones around with the toe of her shoe as she let her mind wander. She turned back to look at the bus and saw that guy who couldn't mind his own business get up and walk in her direction, probably to hit on her. All guys hit on her after a certain point, and now it was his turn. He was good looking enough but too nice. Steph liked the bad boys, just more fun. And she liked having fun.
As far back as she could remember Steph was comfortable with her sexuality. She was the first of her friends to go all the way with a boy back in middle school. In a complete role reversal from contemporary narratives, Steph made the move on the boy. She smiled as she saw, again, the boy in her mind's eye.
He was cute in a fly caught by a spider sort of way. She was curious about the things she heard her older sister talking about and wanted to see if what she heard was true. The poor boy hadn't quite reached puberty, and while he did get an erection it was more cute than exciting and the more she touched it, the more she understood that she would have to pick older targets to experiment on. Come to think of it that wasn't her first time having sex since nothing came of it. She smiled at her pun. That first time was more like an extended version of playing docto
r.
Her real first time was when she was a freshman in high school. She picked her target, a senior, and then let him think that he was making all the moves. Now that was a more satisfying encounter if a bit rough and rushed, but she knew that sex was something she liked and wanted more of it.
Steph's mother could tell that her daughter was maturing and becoming sexual. Though she had no idea as to the extent of Steph's experimentation, she knew that there would be no stopping this train.
Her mom would make attempts at moderating Steph, like that time she had this almost tank top that revealed a bit of her tummy and a lot of her cleavage. “Sweetheart, don't you think it’s a bit too cold to be wearing that top?” Her mom asked. To which she responded by draining her OJ and giving her mom a peck on the cheek as she went out the door. “Love you too mom.”
At least she did listen when it came to mom's insistence on protection. Steph liked having sex but the thought of a disease or having a baby scared the hell out of her.
An image of her mother materialized standing out amid the scrub and rocks. She had been reliving her experiences with her mother ever since she got the call from dad telling her that mom had lost her battle with cancer. Now she wondered if her mom would have cared about Steph's activities if she had known that she wouldn't live to see the age of fifty. She touched her mother's locket at her neck and watched her image fade into the landscape. “I love you, mom.”
“You should be careful of rattlesnakes. They tend to blend into the ground.” A voice said from behind her.
Startled Steph quickly turned to look at Paul. “What?”
“I said you should be careful of rattlesnakes. There's lots of them out here.”
“Well, I don't like people sneaking up on me.” She said, surprised at this only slightly more sophisticated ploy to get into her pants. Or was it? “Besides, I'm not afraid of snakes." She said giving him a cold stare.
“Didn't say you were. It’s just that around here a rattler can look like a weathered stick.”
“Like I said...”
“Okay, suit yourself,” Paul said raising his hands in the air as he backed off. He walked back to the bus and sat down in its shadow leaning against one of the large black tires.
Steph turned away and walked towards where a few juniper trees were growing. As she did, she looked back and saw that Dick was obviously checking her out. He seemed like a jerk, but definitely closer on the scale to her tastes. With a pretended air of indifference, she continued towards the trees.
Ellie and Dick were sitting on a couple of large rocks off to the side of the road. Ellie had her eyes closed and her earbuds in listening to music on her phone. The warmth of the morning sun felt good, so she was content with getting lost in her music and allowing the heat to wash over her body.
Dick was at a loss. All of this sitting around and doing nothing was starting to grate on his nerves. He saw that dude talking with Steph, and he got a bit bothered by it. She wouldn’t be the type to be interested in a gimp. Couldn't he tell that she was way more interested in him, Dick? After watching them exchange a few words, they had parted ways, and Dick watched her wiggle her shapely ass over to those trees. Did she kind of signal with her head that he should join her? Not the type to be told twice Dick stood and brushed off his pants.
Ellie opened her eyes when she felt him stand up. Taking her earbuds out she began to say something but Dick cut her off, “Uh, just gotta take a piss. You sit here and relax.”
Ellie closed her eyes, very deliberately replaced her earbuds in a practiced exercise of self-control, took in a slow, deep breath and turned up the volume using Taylor Swift to drown out the words that she wanted to say. Opening her eyes, she saw Dick's shadow on the ground moving away; then she raised her head enough to see him follow that girl towards the stand of trees. Ellie shook her head and turned away, pretending not to have just witnessed what everyone else had. As Ellie pivoted her head, she made brief eye contact with that guy who had helped her the past night. He nodded, but she continued turning as though she never even saw him. Needing something better to distract herself from what she knew Dick was doing she selected Rihanna's Cold Case Love from her playlist, turned up the volume, fished a book out of her bag and opened it and tried to read.
Paul watched as the whole drama between Ellie and that dick-wad unfolded. I thought I heard his name was Dick, right? How appropriate. Shifting his eyes from Ellie to Dick and back he saw a very sick man follow that hot looking girl to the other side of the trees. Then he looked back to Ellie and watched her pretend to read a book. Paul hated what he saw, so he stood and walked over to Ellie. He had no idea what he intended on doing, but he felt an unexplainable attraction to the woman and at the very least believed that she could use a friend right about now.
Sitting on the rock, pretending to read, Ellie was painfully aware that the others were looking at her. That her head was tilted down to the open book didn't mean that she was reading, however. Her eyes were scanning everywhere around her except the page of the book; taking in as much as her limited field of vision would allow which was mostly the ground. Then she saw something move across the gravel up to her left. At first all Ellie could see was the shadow of a head then shoulders and finally, a whole body moving, limping, towards her. When a pair of male shoes stopped in front of her, she knew that she had to engage. Ellie took a deep breath, deliberately placing a mark in the book, removed her earbuds and looked up.
“You hurt yourself?”
Paul sat down next to Ellie. “What? The limp? Just a little something that happened in Afghanistan. They tell me that I should be good as new in a few months so can’t complain too much.” He paused a moment to gather his nerves. “Look, I’ll just come out with it, you don’t have to stay with that creep.”
“That 'creep's' name is Richard, and he’s been my boyfriend since high school. We take care of each other. You don’t know him, or what he’s meant to me, he just has a short fuse. I don’t know why I’m telling you this...it’s none of your business... Right?” Ellie said rather snippily.
Paul got the message and quickly stood. He held up his hands in a "sorry I said anything" signal and backed away from Ellie as though he had almost stepped on one of those hidden rattlesnakes he warned Steph about. He walked back to the same spot next to the bus shaking his head. So, he’d pissed off two women in the span of fifteen minutes. A new personal best. And all because he was trying to be a good guy. He believed that he had learned to understand the Taliban fighters to a certain degree but women, now that was a different insurgency altogether. He sat down and leaned his head back against the tire. Without much prompting, his eyelids closed and he fell asleep.
The screech of a red-tailed hawk penetrated Paul's ears, and his eyes snapped open. He checked his watch to see how long he'd been asleep. Almost an hour. Wow! He had had no idea he was that tired. The first thing he saw when he looked up from his watch was Dick and Steph emerging from the trees and walking back to rejoin the other passengers.
After an awkward silence, Dick stepped out in front of the small group. He raised his hand and cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. “Hey! Everyone. It’s almost two. That driver should have found help by now and come back for us or the fucked up bus company should have found us. I say we get the hell out of here. Anyone else?”
Dick looked around at everyone and got no response.
“Well, fine, we’re getting the fuck out of here.”
He reached down for his coat and bag and then grabbed Ellie by the sleeve and jerked her up and onto her feet. Ellie barely had time to grab her stuff before Dick guided her brusquely towards the road. He gave her another small push when she stopped in front of Paul fumbling with her belongings. Paul got up and moved in between them preventing Dick from pushing her again; buying Ellie a bit of time to gather her things.
The two men stood face to face in a glaring match; both ready to throw down but Dick broke first and said to Paul, “
Hey, asshole. Get out of the way.” He stepped around Paul and grabbed Ellie, pulling her down the road. “Come on! Let’s go.”
Barely turning back to the rest of the passengers Dick yelled, “Last time, you guys can stay here with no food and freeze your asses off tonight or follow me.”
With that, Dick marched off with Ellie in tow. Ellie looked back at Paul and mouthed a silent “thank you”.
After a pause, Steph grabbed her things and ran down the road after Dick and Ellie.
Jenna, Kelvin and the O’Neils looked at Paul.
“You gonna go with them?” Jenna asked Paul.
Paul thought for a moment and looked down the road at Dick giving Ellie another push. “Sure, why not.”
With that, the remaining passengers picked up their bags and coats and headed off down the road after Dick and company.
Paul was not sure that what they were doing was the right move, but since he had first seen Ellie boarding the bus he felt drawn to her and the thought of her out in the middle of nowhere with that...asshole made him uncomfortable.
His army shrink would be proud of the restraint he had been exhibiting ever since Dick started raising a fuss the night before. Well, fuck the doctors and their diagnoses, he wasn't going to let a few letters of the alphabet identify him. PTSD, screw it. Besides, following this crazy train with Dick as both the engineer and conductor could turn out to be amusing. Grabbing his coat, Paul started to follow the pathetic group of lost passengers; taking up the rear like he always did in the Stan.
After a few paces, Paul stopped and rubbed his knee. This walk would not be good for his injury. He reached into his pants pocket and removed two ibuprofen tablets and dry swallowed them. Then he continued following the group as they walked down the empty blacktop.
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