by Frank, Ella
I took in another shaky breath and then let it out, trying to calm the nerves that had twisted my stomach into knots. “I told you he looked like Ryan. They used to always get asked if they were twins.”
“Ryan?” Willa laughed. “I hate to break it to you, but that man in there looks nothing like Ryan. That man owns a suit. I’m pretty sure Ryan wouldn’t even know where to buy a suit.”
That was true. I didn’t think I’d ever seen Ryan in anything other than a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt. And as for Noah? I guess I was still thinking of the boy who’d lived in shorts, shirts, and baseball caps. Not the man who’d just arrived back in town looking as put together as GQ model.
“Okay, so they dress differently. But other than that, the similarities are pretty clear.”
Willa peered around my shoulder, her straight black hair falling around her face as she scrunched up her pert nose. “Hmm, I’m not seeing it. Maybe it was more obvious when they were younger, but now? No way. That man in there oozes sophistication. Ryan is homegrown through and through.”
I braved another glance over my shoulder and braced myself against the barrage of emotions I knew would slam into me again.
Noah had moved into the center of the room now, and while it was close to full, it wasn’t difficult to spot him. With everyone gathering on the periphery, he might as well have had a spotlight on him, and damn what a vision he made.
I quickly turned away in fear he’d look in my direction, and tried to regain control of my erratic heart. This wasn’t how I was supposed to feel. Where were all of my carefully rehearsed lines and conversation openers? I wished someone would tell me, because they’d suddenly all vanished from my mind.
“Uh, do you want me to go and get you some water?” Willa got to her feet. “Or maybe something a little stronger?”
“No.” I reached for her hand. “Don’t leave.”
“Okay, I won’t. I just thought some liquid courage might help with the situation.”
“Courage?” I sat up a little straighter. “What do I need courage for?”
Willa looked around the empty part of the deck where we were huddled then shrugged. “No reason.”
So I was hiding. Or trying the best I could to vanish in plain sight. But what other option did I have? This was the last place I wanted my reunion with Noah to happen. Largely because we were surrounded by everyone who lived in Chamberlin, and after my disastrous teens, I’d spent my entire adult life making sure I gave them no reason to include me in the local morning gossip.
“I’m fine. It’s just a shock to see him after all this time, that’s all.”
“Sweetie.” Willa took both my hands and squeezed. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“I know, but—”
“There’s no but. If you want to talk, we can talk. If you want to leave, I’ll make up some kind of emergency and we can leave. I’m here for whatever, and if you want to get fall-on-your-ass drunk, we can do that too.”
That made me laugh. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gotten fall-on-my-ass drunk. But if ever there was a time for it, that time would be now.
“Well, if it isn’t two of the prettiest girls in town.”
Speaking of fall-on-your-ass drunk, I turned to see Justin Chamberlin draping his leather-clad arms over the deck railing.
Of all the brothers, Justin was best known for his…conquests around town. His day-old scruff and the strong scent of whiskey that wafted off him pretty much confirmed that he’d stopped off at his local haunt after the funeral.
I had to admit, I envied him for that. The likelihood he’d remember much of this tomorrow was minimal.
“What are you two doin’ out here? The party’s in there.”
I grimaced at the obvious sarcasm. The pain of losing a parent—even one you weren’t particularly fond of—was something I knew about firsthand. I’d lost my mother right out of high school, and it had been brutal. It had taken a long time for me to come to grips with her no longer being in my life, and to this day I still found myself wondering what she would do whenever things got too tough.
I tried to rack my brain for some sort of excuse as to why we were out here. But when nothing came, Justin’s attention caught on the commotion inside, and he rolled his eyes.
“Ah, okay, he’s here and we’re hiding.”
“I’m not hiding.”
“Do you care if I do?” He ran a hand through his messy, chin-length hair, and then took another look over my shoulder before shaking his head. “Of course he has to look all I’ve got it together and shit. Would it really have been so much to ask that he was a little less than perfect?”
I had to admit, I’d been thinking the exact same thing.
Justin patted the pocket of his jacket in search of his ever-present cigarettes. “Is Ryan here yet?”
Willa shook her head. “Haven’t seen him since earlier. He said he had to come back and check on something with the vines.”
“Great. At least tell me Bree stayed.”
I nodded. “She did. The last time I saw her, she was trying to talk one of my guys into a bottle of scotch.”
Justin chuckled. “Sounds like her.”
“It does. But if you could kindly ask her to do it when I’m not in charge, that would be amazing. The last thing I need is your mother thinking I’m handing out alcohol to your underage sister.”
“Pretty sure she’d get a pass today.”
I was pretty sure Brianna Chamberlin would get a pass every day, being the youngest in the family and the only girl. But that didn’t mean I’d be responsible for liquoring her up.
“Either way, you might want to go and track her down before she gets into any trouble.”
Justin gave a mock salute and then pushed off the railing, and as he made his way up the stairs and across the deck, Willa leaned into me.
“You do realize you just sent Justin to keep his sister out of trouble, right?”
I nodded, but my attention had once again focused on the man who had taken the spotlight off the man who’d been buried today.
“Laurel?”
“Huh?”
“You want to head back inside?”
Yes. “No. I think I’m just going to sit out here a little longer. You don’t mind, do you?”
Willa took my hand and squeezed again. “Not in the least. Take all the time you need. Or, you know, until Emily comes looking for you wondering why her daughter is dancing drunk on one of the tables.”
I whipped my head around, horrified at the thought.
“Not ready for jokes just yet? Okay. We’ll just sit here until you feel like heading back inside.”
That sounded better. Much better. Maybe by that time, Noah would’ve slipped out and left town without us even having to speak to one another—after all, it wouldn’t be the first time.
3
Noah
IN HINDSIGHT, I should’ve waited for Ryan to return before deciding to throw myself into Chamberlin’s overly enthusiastic gossip mill. But hindsight was 20/20, and as I stood there in the doorway of the winery’s tasting room, I suddenly felt like the latest attraction at the zoo.
You could all but hear a pin drop, and when it seemed no one in the place was about to speak up, I cleared my throat and asked, “Could someone please point me in the direction of my mom, Emily?”
Frantic whispers flowed around the room as inquisitive eyes gave me a thorough once-over. I’d expected this kind of reaction. It’d been years, and I looked different. But it wasn’t as though I was unrecognizable.
“Noah?” At the sound of my name, I turned to see Miss Betty, who owned the local bakery, with her arms outstretched. “My gosh, it is you.”
“Miss Betty,” I said, returning her embrace. “I was looking for my mom.”
“Of course, of course you were. I’m so sorry about your father.”
“Thank you.” Was that even the right thing to say? I had no idea.
&nb
sp; “My, my, didn’t you grow up into a handsome thing? How long has it been?”
I gave my most charming smile under the circumstances. “Too long. But you don’t look a day older than the last time I saw you.”
“Oh, you.” She giggled like a high schooler. “You always were the charmer of the bunch.”
“Was I?”
“Yes. Why else do you think I snuck you those free donuts before school?”
I looked around the room, still trying to spot my mom. “You snuck free donuts to every kid that was smart enough to come and ask for one. I bet you still do.”
“Hush now. Nobody needs to know that.”
Everyone knew that. Betty was known for two things: gossip and supplying the children with their morning sugar rush. Both were done out of love…for the most part. “Sorry. It’ll be our little secret.”
“Good. Very good.” She looked over her shoulder to the curious eyes still aimed at us. “So, you’re looking for…Emily?”
Not sure who else she thought I’d be trying to find, I nodded. “Yes. Have you seen her?”
“I think she just slipped upstairs for a few. It’s been a tough day for her. A tough week, really.”
“I can imagine.” Harry had been a royal bastard to everyone within his orbit. But Emily Chamberlin had been the sun at the center of his universe.
“Would you like me to go and let her know you’re here?”
And deprive me of the chance to escape? No way. “That’s okay. I think I might just go and check in on her.”
“I think that’s a great idea.”
So did I, and just as I was about to head back into the hall, a woman out on the back deck caught my eye. She was seated on one of the wraparound benches and the afternoon sun was catching the golden strands of her hair like a halo.
She looked like some kind of angel. But who was I kidding? An angel wasn’t about to show up for anything related to Harry.
“Noah? Ah! I knew it was you!” Brianna, my sister, threw her arms around my neck and pulled me in tight. So tight I was at real risk of suffocation as she squealed in my ear. “I knew you would be here. Everyone else said there was no way. But I knew. I knew.”
I smiled and wrapped my arms around her waist. I hadn’t seen her since last summer, when her and Mom had come for one of their many visits, and for the first time since I’d driven back onto this property, I felt a sense of happiness. Something I hadn’t expect to feel here ever again.
“You always were the smartest one out of the four of us,” I said. “That’s why you’re at that fancy school of yours.”
“Liar. I’m at that fancy school because Mom didn’t know what else to do with me.”
That was probably true. Brianna was a wild one. I ran my hand down the back of her long, wavy hair and grinned. “Nooo.”
“Yesss. But only for six more months. Then I’m free.”
“God help us all.”
“Indeed.” She gave an impish shrug, and when her black wrap slipped down her arm, I gently lifted it back in place.
“You look good, Bree. Are you doing okay?”
“I’m fine. I mean, it’s not like I was really close with Harry or anything.”
“No one was close with Harry.”
“Yeah.” She wrapped her arms around her waist, and I tugged her in under one of mine as we walked down the hall. “Have you seen Justin and Ryan yet?”
“Ryan, on the way in. Said he’d be over in a few. Justin, no. Is he here?”
Brianna shook her head. “Not yet. He was going to stop by Gallagher’s for a drink before heading here.”
That sounded like Justin. If something was hard or unpleasant, he avoided it. If it was fun and easy, he was your guy.
“I’d kill for a drink right now,” she said.
I looked down at my sister with a frown. “You are underage.”
“Trust me, I know. Laurel booze-blocked me at every turn.”
“Laurel?” I stopped dead in my tracks, and when my arm slipped off Bree’s shoulder, she turned to look at me. “As in Laurel Anderson? She’s still here?”
Well, that was a definite twist. Up until now, it hadn’t even occurred to me that Laurel—the girl who haunted my dreams—would be exactly where I’d left her. I’d always imagined her leaving Chamberlin and heading to a big city, the way we’d always talked about. To hear she was still close by, well, that suddenly made this trip a whole lot more interesting.
Brianna frowned. “Of course she’s here. She manages the place. Oh shit, Mom didn’t tell you?”
No. No she did not.
“I’m sure she was going to,” Brianna said, trying to cover. “Maybe she wanted to do it in person?”
Highly doubtful. Laurel had been the driving force in Harry sending me away. If I had to take a wild stab at it, I bet her employment had been kept secret just in case I decided to return. Not that she’d ever take me back. Not after the way I’d just…left.
“How long has Laurel worked here?”
“Uh, maybe you should talk to Mom about it.”
“Bree…”
Brianna grimaced. “A long time.”
“Un-fucking-believable,” I muttered, wishing in that moment that Harry was alive just so I could kill him again.
“You really didn’t know?”
I let out a deep sigh and shook my head. “I really didn’t. I didn’t even know she was still living here.”
“Yeah. Everyone knows Laurel. She’s the best.” Brianna laughed. “Unless she’s trying to booze-block you.”
I gave a forced smile, my mind still reeling at this new information. Laurel Anderson, wow. She was somewhere here, right now.
“Noah?”
“Sorry. What?”
“I asked if you were ready to go and see Mom?”
Shit. It would be poor form not to go and check on her and let her know that I was here. “Yes. Let’s go.”
I shoved aside the desire I had to go and find the girl I’d once thought I would marry, and instead followed my sister upstairs. I’d be in town for a few more days, so I had plenty of time to see Laurel if I wanted to.
Hell, who was I kidding? Of course I wanted to. I’d been dreaming about Laurel Anderson for years. She was the bar that was never reached. The fantasy that never disappointed. She was the one girl who had gotten away—or had been ripped away—and before I left town, I was going to track her down and see just how good my memory was.
Until then—knock, knock, knock—I was going to be a good son.
“Come in.” My mom’s soft voice was instantly recognizable, and as I slowly opened the door to one of the guest rooms of the winery, I spotted her standing by one of the large windows that overlooked the sprawling vineyards.
She wore a black A-line dress with an elegant hat and veil to match, and her dark hair was pulled into a tight, prim knot at the back of her neck. She looked the very image of a grieving widow, and her slight frame appeared even smaller than usual as she turned to face the two of us.
“Noah.”
“Mom.”
She clasped her hands in front of herself as she looked between Brianna and myself, and then she walked across the room to stop in front of us.
“I wasn’t sure you’d come. When you weren’t at the funeral, I just assumed…”
She had every reason to think that way, and I had every reason to stay gone. But I loved my mom, and there’d been no way I wasn’t going to be here for her.
I reached for her hands and took them in mine. “Of course I was going to come.”
Her delicate features softened as her somber eyes assessed me in a quick once-over, the way that mothers do, then she offered up a broken smile.
“You look well.”
“I feel well,” I responded, but I realized that might seem callous. “Except for—”
“Stop, Noah. I don’t need you to pretend you’re upset. I’ll be sad enough for the both of us. I’m just glad you’re here. Your brothers a
nd sister need you. I need you.”
I looked to Brianna, who was nodding at me, and smiled. “Then I’m happy to be here.”
“Good. Did you already stop by the house and drop your things off?”
I hadn’t, actually. I’d come straight here, since I’d already missed the funeral, but it didn’t matter anyway. There was no way I was going to stay in his house ever again.
“I came straight from the airport.”
“You must be exhausted.”
I smirked. “I thought you said I looked well.”
“You do. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t tired.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll catch up on sleep tonight. I just wanted to be here and make sure you’re okay.” I also needed to see if there was a room in town that I could book at the last minute.
“I appreciate that. Did you see your brothers on the way in?”
“Ryan, yes. I haven’t seen Justin yet, though. Bree said he was down at—”
“Gallagher’s.”
At the sound of a fourth voice entering the conversation, we all turned to see Justin standing in the doorway with his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes narrowed on me.
“Well, if it isn’t my big brother Noah. At least, I think you’re Noah, right? I haven’t seen you in… Actually, I can’t remember the last time I saw you. Nice to know you at least come home for a death in the family.”
“Justin,” Mom said from behind me.
“What? It’s true. The last time I saw him I was, what? In high school.”
The words were thrown out as though he didn’t give a shit one way or another, but the icy undertone spoke volumes. There was true resentment there, and I couldn’t blame him one bit.
“If anyone wants me, I’ll be looking for some booze to finish the job I started on my way over here.”
As he turned and left the room, I had an insane urge to go with him. A few drinks sounded like heaven about now, but I doubted he’d want my company. Brianna looked between Mom and me, and it was clear she wanted to go after him. I knew from our emails that the two of them were close, and when Mom nodded, Brianna dashed out of the room, leaving the two of us in her wake.