“Is everything okay here?” Jeff’s voice cut into Jack’s thoughts.
Jeff stood at the bottom of the stairs, his tall, heavily muscled body tensed.
“Yes,” Emily said and hiccupped.
Jeff nodded curtly and went back to the SUV.
“Did he think I’d hit you?” Emily asked.
Jack turned back to her. Her beautiful face was tear stained and her eyes still teary. Heat started in his chest and radiated outward until it reached his toes. “He’s worried about you. He would’ve kicked my ass if you said I made you cry.”
“You didn’t make me cry.” Emily chuckled. “Shouldn’t he be looking out for you? I mean, you pay him to protect you right?”
Jack shifted. He trusted Jeff implicitly. “I pay him to protect me, but he likes you. If I did anything to hurt you, he’d kill me in heartbeat.” Jack liked that about Jeff. And when he and Em moved ahead, there was no one he’d trust more to keep her safe while he was away.
Emily smiled up at him. “I wouldn’t let him kill you, maybe just hurt you a little.
Her smile warmed him further. His body reacted to being so close to her, but he resisted the urge to pull her into his arms and kiss the daylights out of her. Then carry her upstairs and—now was not the time. She needed to decide to move forward with him with a clear head.
“Em, there has to be a way for us to be together. I know it’s not ideal. In three months, I have a month-long break before we head to Europe. We could spend time together, go out to dinner, catch a movie. It can be casual, I just want to keep in touch.” He was pushing her again and trying to lock her into a commitment. Despite his best intentions, he couldn’t stop himself.
Emily heaved a sigh. “Jack, I’m exhausted. I can’t make any decisions right now. I’m afraid that anything I say will be the wrong answer. I…”
He knew what she didn’t say. She didn’t want to hurt him again. If he was smart, he’d take the hint and leave and never look back. But he couldn’t. He’d tried that tonight, and he’d felt like he was dying. He was normally a patient guy, but despite constantly reminding himself he needed to be patient, he kept pushing. Maybe because in his heart he knew two things. He was head over heels, completely and utterly in love with her, and the fucker would be back. He believed her when she said there was no way she would get back with her ex, but Jack was also concerned with every other male in a hundred-mile radius. A lot could happen in three months. She wasn’t looking to meet anyone, which was exactly when someone new dropped into the picture. Like she’d done to him.
“Will you call me in the morning, to let me know you’re okay?” Jack asked.
J
Emily sighed again. She could barely stand. If he’d asked to stay, she’d have said yes, they’d have sex, and it’d be the temporary relief she needed. But she wouldn’t do that to him again. She’d feel the repercussions of her actions the last two days for months. Surely a phone call would be okay? His voice calmed her. As confused as she felt, his being here somehow made her feel better.
“Okay.” Emily waited for her brain to scream at her that she should make a clean break, not lead Jack on, or give him hope. Silence. She exhaled the breath she’d been holding. “I don’t have your number.”
“Get your phone and I’ll give it to you.”
She went inside and grabbed her phone, half-expecting Jack to follow, but he didn’t.
She handed him her phone, and he added his contact information. When he handed the phone back, their fingers touched and neither pulled away. They stood there, staring at each other, with that slightest of touches connecting them. She’d never felt more connected to a person than she did at that moment. That should’ve had her yanking her hand away, but instead, she stared into his eyes. It was a mistake, but she just couldn’t break the contact. She’d been wafting through the ether for the past three weeks, scared she’d never feel the ground beneath her feet again.
Jack pulled his hand back and kissed her briefly before walking down the stairs and getting into the SUV. She watched as it pulled away until the taillights faded in the distance.
After a small pep talk, her legs obeyed and walked her inside, up the stairs, down the hall, and into her bedroom. She fell face first onto the mattress and was asleep before she hit it.
Emily awoke to a crash of thunder. She rolled onto her back. She couldn’t tell if it was dark out because it was early or because it was raining. Memories danced on the edge of her consciousness. She was supposed to do something. When the clock in the living room chimed, she forced herself to ignore it. She didn’t want to know what time it was. She wanted to go back to sleep and stay there. Stupid clock chimed a lot. It had to be at least eight. Damn.
Jack. Her heart rate sped up just thinking his name.
She’d promised to call him when she woke up, so she grabbed her phone off the nightstand and turned it on. Three missed calls. Two from Nicki and a text, but Emily wasn’t ready to deal with her yet.
The other call was from Vince. She’d promised she’d call this weekend, but it was only Saturday. It was only five in California, so it was too early to call him. Vince wouldn’t care what time it was if she needed him. She grabbed her note pad and pen and wrote call Vince in block letters. She figured she had the rest of the day before he got on a plane. She didn’t want him coming, yet another reminder of what yesterday should’ve been.
Instead of calling Jack, she stalled by using the bathroom. Emily didn’t know what to say to him. Did he even expect her to say anything? Or did he just want to know she’d survived the night? With Jack she couldn’t tell. He had this maddening way of drawing her into conversations she didn’t want to have. Sully had always respected her space that way. He never pushed her to share when he knew she was upset, and she’d appreciated it.
Even though she’d passed out after Jack left, exhaustion still plagued her. Emily’s body felt leaden, and her eyes kept fluttering shut. The tug of sleep beckoned, but she’d promised Jack. Crap. She thumbed through her contacts and tapped on his name. Maybe she’d luck out and get his voicemail.
“Good morning, baby.”
His voice was rich and soft, and it made her stomach flip-flop. What was she, twelve?
“How’d you sleep?”
“I passed out as soon as I hit the bed, but I’m still so tired.” She meant to simply say thanks for asking and be off the phone. Damn him.
“It’s no wonder, since you haven’t been sleeping well, you’re mentally and emotionally drained. You need to take it easy today.”
She had her out. “I plan to. I just wanted to call and let you know I was okay. I’m going to go back to sleep now. Good—”
“You really should eat something.”
She had no food in her apartment. Her fridge looked like a bachelor’s: a couple bottles of condiments, milk that was most likely sour, and half and half. She’d run out of cereal on Thursday but couldn’t drag herself to the store before Nicki had arrived to leave for the concert. But she wouldn’t tell Jack that.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Did you eat last night?”
She’d had no appetite after what she’d done to him, but Emily wouldn’t tell him that either.
“I’ll take your silence as a no. You need to eat. Do you have any food in the house?”
“Yes.” It wasn’t a lie; she had stuff in the freezer. She’d order a pizza. Later.
“What food?”
“Jack—”
“Em. Glad we got the names straight. After my breakup with Christie, I don’t think I ate a real meal for at least a couple of days. I’m guessing you have no food in the house.”
She didn’t want to lie. Damn him. “I have plenty of frozen stuff.”
“I’ll be there in an hour with breakfast.” Jack hung up.
“Wait, what?”
He was gone. Fuck.
chapter
THIRTY-THREE
<
br /> Jack hated hanging up on her, but he knew she’d protest, and he didn’t want to give her the chance to say no. He wanted to take care of her, but he’d bet his ’59 Flame Top that she’d rather deal on her own.
He’d woken early; he’d had a lovely dream about her. Jack could practically taste her on his lips, and since his morning erection ached for release, he’d obliged with images of her: Em riding him, her head thrown back as she came, Em on all fours. That had done it. Even jerking off to her felt great. He’d gotten up and showered. That led to memories of showering with her, how the water cascaded over her naked body, the shampoo dripping down her back, and over her perfect ass as he’d washed her. That made him hard, so he jerked it again.
Jack arranged with Anthony to have breakfast to go in thirty minutes.
He dialed Jeff, who picked up on the first ring. “What’s up?”
“Leaving for Emily’s in thirty-five minutes.” He kept it short because that was how Jeff liked it.
Jeff cleared his throat. “Is that wise?”
The only other time Jeff questioned him was when he’d wanted to escort Emily on Friday without security. Jeff had followed them at a discreet distance.
“We’re bringing breakfast. Emily has no food in the house, and she didn’t eat last night. I’m worried about her.”
“I’ll be waiting in thirty.” Jeff hung up.
It had taken Jack a little time to get used to Jeff’s curtness. He didn’t chitchat and was always on guard. But Jeff had a soft spot for Emily. On the ride back to the hotel this morning, Jeff questioned him further about Em’s tears. Since he was still breathing, Jack must’ve convinced him that he hadn’t been the cause. Now there were two men who wanted to tear the fucker limb from limb. Jeff would have to incapacitate him to beat Jack to it though. Em was his girl, and she was his responsibility to protect.
Fuck. So much for patience. He’d fuck this up if he didn’t dial it down, but no matter how many times he reminded himself of that, the primal need to protect her, to be with her, overwhelmed him. Jack’s patience was shot to shit. He had never felt this strongly for a woman.
Anthony met Jack in the garage with thermal bags to keep their food warm.
The clouds and rain dissipated, and the sun shone brightly in a now cloudless sky. It was just after ten when they arrived. Jack grabbed the box that held the coffee, orange juice, and cream. As he walked up the stairs, he remembered their conversation, her lack of undergarments, and how he’d almost gotten to taste her. Damn. Taking a few deep breaths as he reached her door, he rang the bell.
After a minute, he rang again. Maybe she’d decided not to let him in. Setting the box on the bench, he took out his cell and tapped her number. It rang three times before she answered.
“Hello.” Her voice was raspy.
“Hi. Breakfast is served.” Jack decided on levity, keep it easy, no pressure. He heard her shuffling the covers aside.
“Sorry, fell back to sleep.”
Jeff stood behind him with the thermal bags. Jack heard the lock turn and the chain clank against the doorframe. When she opened the door, the sight of her made his heart palpitate. She was still wearing the ugly, white oversized T-shirt, her hair was mostly out of the ponytail holder, and her eyes were still sleepy. Jeff cleared his throat. The sun highlighted the fact that she was naked beneath the T-shirt. Jack stepped in front of her to block Jeff’s view.
Her eyes widened when she saw Jeff, and a blush crept up her face. She tugged the shirt down. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize Jack wouldn’t be alone. Give me a sec.” Emily closed the door over, returning a few moments later wearing a long sweater coat that went to her calves. “Come in.”
She led them up a flight of stairs to her cozy living room. A well-used blue- and white-striped couch sat in front of the picture window with light oak end tables on either side. A matching rectangular oak coffee table was in front of the couch, and a darker oak entertainment center took up most of one wall. There was also a large black leather recliner that was much newer and seemed out of place. While there was no clutter, the place could use a good dusting.
They followed Emily past a small table and chairs and into the kitchen. Jeff placed the bags on the counter, and Em took the box from Jack and unpacked it. “Jeff, are you joining us?”
“Thank you, but I’ve eaten.”
“Still get up at five?”
“Habit.”
“My dad always kept that habit, too.”
“What time do you want me to pick you up?” Jeff asked.
“Uh…” Jack hadn’t thought that far ahead. He didn’t want to assume he was spending the afternoon, but dammit he wanted to spend the afternoon. He wanted to spend forever.
“I have a buddy in the area,” Jeff said, with an almost imperceptible nod.
“Great. I’ll call you.” Jack suspected that was Jeff speak for he had no intention of going back into the city, and he’d be close by.
“Emily, a pleasure to see you again.” With a quick smile, Jeff turned, and in a few seconds, the front door opened and closed and then opened again. “Lock it,” he yelled.
Emily complied and when she returned to the kitchen, she’d dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a black pullover sweater. Her hair was still a mess. She looked beautiful.
Damn. She’d probably put on underwear. Jack needed to get his mind out of the gutter, but the image of her in just the T-shirt, with the sun streaming into her apartment, made him hard again.
Emily took out plates, cups, and cutlery and laid them on the dining room table. Jack held out her chair, and with a small smile, she sat. He sat opposite her because the view was better and there was less chance he’d touch her. He was fairly certain touching was off the table right now.
They filled their plates, poured the coffee and juice, and ate in a comfortable silence. She looked tired. After they finished eating, Em stood and picked up her plate.
“I’ve got it,” Jack said, standing and piling her plate onto his. “You’re exhausted. Go lie down. I’ll take care of everything.”
“Jack…”
“It’s okay, go lie down, I’ll clean up, and then if you want me to leave, I will.” He smiled to reassure her.
Her beautiful face was weary, but she forced a smile. “Thank you for breakfast. It was thoughtful.” She turned and walked down the hallway.
Jack put the remaining food in the refrigerator. She didn’t have a dishwasher, so he rolled up his sleeves and washed the dishes, laying a towel on the counter to let them air dry. It didn’t take much to remember how he’d felt after Christie moved out. Every room had memories.
He walked down the hallway and stopped at the first door on the right. It was her office. Em had a nice little setup: a large wood desk, office chair, and bookshelves on two walls. He’d love to read her books, but she hadn’t told him her pen name, and he didn’t feel right about snooping.
He walked down the hall and stood in the doorway to her bedroom. Em sat on the edge of her bed, rubbing her right thigh. “Does it still hurt?”
“Always on rainy days and more when I don’t keep up with yoga and strength training.”
The thought of Em having even a small amount of physical pain all the time, made his heart ache. She looked so worn down. Jack knew he should go, but he didn’t want to leave her like this. Or at all. But that was selfish. If he stayed, they’d end up in bed. Sex was a great distraction from emotional pain, and Em had that in spades right now. If all he wanted from her was sex, he’d convince her to let him stay, but he wanted more. Jack wanted it all.
And that would take time.
J
Leg pain was the least of Emily’s problems. Jack had said last night that they could keep in touch until she was ready to date again, but right now, she didn’t feel like she’d ever be ready. The irony of meeting Jack now, when she was still licking her wounds from her breakup, wasn’t lost on her. She envied Ni
cki’s ability to move on so fast. Of course, her relationship with Tad had only been four months old, but that didn’t lessen the hurt of his cheating. She’d been with Sean for four years, and they’d made plans for their future. She’d thought that once her wedding day had passed, she would feel better, but if anything, she felt worse. Even though he’d only moved in with her after they got engaged, he’d imprinted himself on every part of her home. She swallowed past the lump that formed in her throat.
“I’m gonna go.” Jack took out his phone and called Jeff.
Emily nodded and exhaled. She was glad he didn’t make her ask him to leave, because she’d spent the entire time he’d been here going back and forth between wanting to have sex with him and asking him to leave. If he’d offered to stay, she wouldn’t have refused. But that would’ve been selfish. She’d already hurt him once, and she didn’t want to hurt him again. Her brain felt like swiss cheese, and she just couldn’t make any more decisions right now. Emily had always been able to figure out the right thing to do, and once her mind was made up, she never vacillated. Until Jack.
“Jeff will be here in fifteen minutes.”
Emily pushed to her feet. “Okay.” Jack followed her into the living room. “Thanks again for breakfast.”
Jack smiled that lopsided grin that caused her heart to flip. “My pleasure. Maybe we could have dinner while I’m here?”
Emily opened her mouth but nothing came out. He must be a glutton for punishment. Couldn’t he see she was in no shape for this?
Jack looked down. “Em, I meant what I said. We can go as slowly as you need to. Is it okay if I call you later?”
She closed her eyes and tried to muster the strength to cut him off. “Jack—”
“It’s okay. How about you call me, to let me know how you’re doing so I don’t worry.”
His beautiful blue eyes held hope, and she just couldn’t bring herself to crush it. “Okay.” There was probably a circle in hell for people like her.
With You: A Rock Star Romance (Rocked in Love Book 1) Page 27