“I know! And he kissed me,” Tracie sighs. The chance at real romance makes her heart flutter. “It was amazing.” Tracie smiles from ear to ear.
Julia’s heart warms over Tracie’s newfound happiness. Tracie is usually shy and withdrawn. Her happiness brings joy to Julia’s heart, but Riley does not share this same sentiment. The thought of Tracie interacting with this unknown hoodlum perturbs her. “Well, it doesn’t sound that great to me.”
“Why would you say that?” Tracie is hurt by Riley’s disapproval.
“Cause you don’t even know him. I mean what…like really?” Riley’s annoyance quickly turns to outrage.
“Why are you getting so angry? I’m just having fun. I’m just doing a little innocent flirting.”
Julia tries to help. “Yeah it’s just innocent flirting. It’s okay to live a little.” She can sympathize with Tracie’s desire to just have a casual fling. After all, she engages in that kind of behavior herself quite often.
“Look, I’m just going to chill with him.” Tracie does not understand why such a big fuss is being made.
“I know, but I just don’t want things to get out of control. I just want you to be careful.” Riley shows an amount of concern that Tracie has never seen from her before. Tracie finds it alarming. But against the wishes of her close friend, Tracie decides to side with her own desires.
“I will. Bye.” Tracie gets up and leaves the theater.
Riley shakes her head in disbelief. She is close to tears. The decision to leave with a stranger is something Tracie would never do. Tracie is behaving completely out of character. Riley sits in her seat, stunned.
“It’ll be okay.” Julia tries to reassure Riley.
“I would love to believe that Julia. I would, but I have a strong feeling it’s not going to be okay.” Riley has a tear in her eye.
Tracie can barely contain her excitement. She runs outside, anxiously waiting for Steve. She does not have to wait long. Steve stands in front of his car, which he has parked on the curb directly in front of the theater. He leans against the passenger door confidently, knowing she was going to show up. Tracie beams with joy at the sight of Steve waiting for her. Tracie runs over and leaps into his arms. They greet each other with a passionate kiss. Steve opens the passenger door and helps Tracie in. Tracie could not imagine a better ending; this could really be the fairy tale moment girls dream about. A handsome man waiting to whisk her away to a better life.
As they drive down a busy highway, Steve places his hand on the back of Tracie’s head rest. Tracie takes note of Steve’s attempts at getting closer to her. Her anxiety increases. They make a right turn onto a street that leads into an obscure, serene park. The park seems deserted, except for a few cars parked at a distance.
The park they are in is a popular and secluded location where young people can spend ‘alone time’ together. The thick trees provide ample cover for some much-needed privacy. Steve pulls into a parking space and turns the car off. Tracie’s nervousness is obvious, but she tries her best to remain composed. She does not want to expose her sexual inexperience.
Steve takes a moment to look deeply into Tracie’s eyes. Being a rookie at the art of foreplay, this catches her off guard. She blushes as she tries to look away. Steve leans in and aggressively begins to kiss her. Tracie follows his lead, allowing him to take full control. Right in the middle of their passionate kiss, Steve pulls away. He leans back in the driver’s seat. This confuses Tracie, making her believe he has suddenly lost interest. She begins to doubt her decision to leave with him. She looks at him with a confused glare, while Steve continues to look at her in amazement. He undresses her with his eyes, considering every sexual possibility. The passion in his eyes dispels Tracie’s suspicion. Steve has not lost interest. He is just savoring every moment. This confirmation of his attraction causes Tracie to blush. She turns her head away, but only for a moment. She turns back around to find Steve still looking directly at her, only now he is smiling. Tracie responds with a flirtatious smile of her own. She looks down at her lap, and timidly bites her lip. Her mind rests amongst the clouds in the sky. She has never felt this way before nor has she received this amount of attention. She eats up every bit of it. Steve’s charm has her under a powerful spell. He leans in close and draws Tracie into his arms.
“I feel safe with you…like I can let my guard down,” Steve confides. He turns away and looks down. “Do you feel safe with me?” Steve nervously waits.
Tracie answers confidently. “Yes, I feel very comfortable.”
“I didn’t ask if you were comfortable. Do you feel safe?” Steve asks more firmly.
“Yes,” Tracie answers meekly.
Her answer makes Steve feel more confident. He needs Tracie to follow his lead now, so he can take full control later. “You can tell me anything. We can do whatever together. Okay? Only us. I don’t want our bond to ever break.” Steve’s once confident voice collapses with emotion.
“It won’t, Steve.” Tracie reaches for Steve’s hand. She grips its tightly, in an attempt to prove her feelings.
“My attention is on you. That’s where it is and that’s where it’s going to stay.” Steve pauses. “Promise me you’ll give me the same.”
Tracie takes a moment to observe how serious Steve is behaving. She thinks carefully, before she responds. She takes a moment to reflect. Then she nods. “My attention is on you.”
That is all Steve needed to hear. He begins to passionately kiss her. It is Tracie’s turn to savor every minute of this new encounter. This is exactly where she wants to be: in Steve’s arms. Steve pulls Tracie in closer, so she can sit on his lap. She kisses him back, but she allows him to take the lead, which he enjoys very much. Steve roughly snatches off Tracie’s shirt and begins to kiss and grope her chest. Steve can no longer control his sexual cravings. He does not want to waste any more time. He decides to move to the next level, whether Tracie is ready or not. He quickly shimmies his pants down to his ankles. Tracie cannot resist the urge to moan.
Steve aggressively inserts himself inside Tracie. Initially, she screams out in pain. The sensation sends shock waves throughout her entire body. She has never felt this combination of pleasure and pain before. She begins to pant and breathe heavily. She is nervous and a bit scared, but she welcomes this new and liberating experience.
She slows her breathing and looks down at Steve, who looks up at her with a smile. She giggles out loud, causing Steve to laugh at her. He cannot resist her smile. He moves the hair in her face behind her ears.
“I’m going to take care of you and protect you. You’re mine. I promise I will never hurt you.” He strokes her hair.
Tracie smiles. “Promise?” She stares into Steve’s eyes.
Steve whispers in her ear. “I promise.”
Tracie kisses Steve softly on his lips. Steve grabs Tracie’s hair and yanks her head back. As Tracie grunts, Steve grabs her neck. He tightens his grip around her throat, constricting her airway. He shows little concern for her choking sounds; in actuality, he enjoys them. They arouse Steve like nothing else ever could. With his arousal at its peak, Steve can act out his secret desires. Steve presses Tracie against the steering wheel. While maintaining his grip on her hair, he begins to thrust himself into her vagina as forcefully as he can. Tracie cries out from the pain.
“I promise…I promise baby.” Steve moans under his breath as he thrusts.
Riley tried to advise Tracie to not rush into anything too serious. It would have been best to take her time to get to know Steve, but Tracie made a decision to live her life her way. Despite the warning from her best friend Riley, Tracie decides to learn the hard way.
Chapter Four:
Broken Promises
T racie stands behind the register in the grocery store where she works. She appears very happy on the surface, but deep in her eyes is a glimpse of sadness. Time and disappointment have aged her face tremendously. It has been fourteen years since the day she first met S
teve. If you looked at her face, you would think it had been thirty. A woman pushes her half-full shopping cart to Tracie’s checkout line.
“Hi, did you find everything okay?” Tracie scans the woman’s items one by one. “Fifty-eight sixty-one is your total.”
“Oh shoot, I forgot…duh. I have coupons.” The woman reaches into her purse.
Tracie rolls her eyes, but hides her frustration behind a laugh. Later, as her day draws to a close, Tracie breathes a rare sigh of relief. Tracie has been standing for nine hours. The long work hours have taken its toll on Tracie’s body. After she checks out her last customer, she turns off her checkout light. She walks away from the register with her purse. She waves at her coworkers on her way to the front door. “Bye, see you tomorrow.”
“Stay safe,” One of her coworkers calls out.
“I will.” She leaves through the sliding doors and scans for her car. After a few moments of searching, she cannot locate the car. Fearing the worst, she assumes her car has been repossessed. She and Steve never have enough money. She has not been able to pay this month’s car note. Just as panic begins to set in, Tracie remembers: she had to run errands on her break. She had parked her car in a different parking place. The car is parked safely on the side of the building. She sighs, and chuckles at herself as she walks to her car.
Back at the house, Steve sits on the couch with a cold beer in hand. He, too, has aged dramatically. He is no longer the handsome, charismatic lone wolf he once was. He has gained a substantial amount of weight, due to the safety that resides in complacency. There are open bags of chips on the couch beside him. Crumbs and empty food wrappers decorate the living room. The living room has become a playroom, with toys scattered all about. The entire place is a mess. Steve focuses his attention on a TV program where women are modeling swimsuits. He takes a large sip of his beer. Distant sounds of a child playing can be heard in the background; as usual, he chooses to ignore them.
Tracie tries to unlock the front door lock, but it is jammed. The lock is weathered and often jams. Tracie always has a hard time getting in. Most of the house is on its last leg, due to a lack of resources and Steve’s refusal to do any maintenance activities. The lock finally loosens, after almost a minute of struggling. Tracie enters the house. This house is no longer a home. Observing her surroundings, she finds a complete disaster. Toys, food, and clothes are everywhere. The kitchen sink and counter are littered with dishes. Every area of the house is in complete disarray. The house did not look this way when she left. She turns to Steve, who is still unaware of her arrival.
“Hello.” Tracie crosses her arms and scowls.
Steve slowly turns his head towards Tracie, projecting the illusion of acknowledgement. He does not want to take his eyes off the swimsuit models. “What’s for dinner?” He immediately turns back around to face the TV.
Tracie’s rage boils to the surface. Steve’s consistent lack of support leaves her feeling belittled and taken for granted. She takes an aggressive tone without considering the potential consequences. “Well, maybe you could have fixed dinner or picked something up. I’ve been at work all day. I mean, really.”
“What?” Steve rises to his feet, beer in hand. He walks around the couch towards her. Tracie falls into a regretful silence.
“What did you say?” Steve asks more loudly this time, and with a more threatening inflection. He stands directly in front of Tracie.
“I---I was just saying the house is mess.” Tracie realizes she should have gauged his mood before confronting him.
“Oh it is? Well I guess you want it cleaned right?” Steve chugs the rest of his beer. He crushes the can with one hand and flings it on the ground. Then in one swift motion, he knocks Tracie to the ground. “Then why don’t you clean it? All that time you spent talking, it could have been cleaned by now.” Steve is shouting now.
While holding her face, Tracie looks up at Steve. She sucks her mouth in tightly to stifle the cries. Steve stands over Tracie, taking offense at her looking at him. If she has the nerve to lay eyes on him after the way she addressed him, he does not think she has learned her lesson. “You got something else to say?”
Cowering, Tracie shakes her head no. She turns her face toward the floor, crying silently so that Steve cannot hear. Crying sometimes angers Steve, making the beatings last longer.
“That’s what I thought.” Steve walks out of the room.
Once Steve is a safe distance away, Tracie cannot hold back her sobs. She remains on the floor, with tears rolling down her face.
When Tracie met her husband, he said he would protect and love her. He promised that he would never cause her any harm, and she believed him. Even in her wildest nightmare, she could not imagine that their entire existence would be made up of broken promises.
Chapter Five:
A Mother’s Sacrifice
T he next day at work, Tracie wears an unusual amount of makeup. She usually opts for a ‘natural’ look, since her limited income makes makeup a luxury. Lucky for her, she has the next two days off. She hopes to make it through the day without anyone noticing the bruise on her left cheek. She is in the breakroom hoping to stay under the radar when Sandra, a friend and coworker, walks in. Sandra immediately notices the difference in Tracie’s makeup.
“What’s his name?”
“Whose name?” Tracie keeps her face hidden.
“The man you’re cheating with? I’m just saying you’ve got to be cheating, if you’re walking around here looking that good.”
Initially taken aback, Tracie quickly realizes that Sandra was only teasing. She lets down her guard. “No, I just wanted to try a new look.” Laughing at the joke, she unwittingly turns around and exposes her left cheek.
“Well I like it. The only thing is on this cheek, you used too much blush.” She playfully brushes Tracie’s left cheek, too quickly for Tracie to react. Then she gasps. “Your face---what happened?” Sandra’s mind races with explanations for why Tracie’s face would be bruised. Her genuine concern makes Tracie tense up defensively. Tracie’s reaction instantly brings Sandra to the most apparent conclusion.
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Tracie brushes past her and walks out of the break room.
“Tracie…Tracie.” Sandra chases after her.
Tracie storms away, which only increases her coworker’s suspicion. Sandra has a feeling that something is not right. She does not want to offend Tracie, but she decides that she cannot let the situation go. She could never live with herself if she did not stand up for a friend who could not stand up for herself. She pulls out her cellphone.
Tracie walks to her register and begins her shift. Sandra walks past Tracie’s checkout line hoping to get her attention, but Tracie refuses to make any eye contact with her.
Back at home, Steve is passed out on the couch with the TV at nearly maximum volume. There are beer cans on the coffee table, and on the floor near the couch. There is a knock at the door that would wake any sober person, but between the blaring television and his alcoholic binge, Steve continues to sleep. Eventually, the banging rouses him and he stumbles to his feet. His head is pounding from a developing hangover.
Steve slowly cracks open the door to poke his head out. He finds a police officer standing on his doorstep. Unimpressed, Steve stares at the officer blankly.
“I need to have a word with you for a moment. Can I come in?”
Steve pauses for a moment, then responds defiantly. “For what?”
“I wanna ask you about your wife’s face.” The officer smirks.
“No, you definitely can’t come in.”
“I expected that.” The officer’s posture tenses as his tone becomes more threatening. “I got my suspicions about what’s really going on in this house.” He leans in closer. “And I’m going to be watching you like a hawk.”
Steve laughs off the policeman’s scare tactics. “You’re watching me…interesting.” Steve pauses. “I’ll make sure to put on a show, then.�
� Steve slams the door as hard as he can.
Back at the store, Tracie completes another stressful work shift. She grabs her purse and rushes out of the grocery store. Tracie is once again relieved to see that her car is still in the parking lot. She hears Sandra’s voice behind her. “Tracie---Tracie.” Sandra catches her just as she is about to get into her car. Tracie turns around.
“Hey I wanted to catch you before you left so I could check on you. You alright?” Sandra is breathing heavily from chasing after her.
“Yeah, Yeah, I’m good.” Tracie is anxious to get away.
“Well, I’m here for you if you ever want to leave. I’ll help you.” Sandra pauses. “I called my brother...he went to your house.” She braces for Tracie’s response.
“What? I love him. Why did you do that?” Tracie begins to panic.
“We wanted to make sure you were okay.” Sandra knows Tracie would have never called the police on her own.
“I can’t believe you did that.” Tracie is furious. She gets in her car. She slams the door shut and starts the engine.
While shouting out her name, Sandra frantically bangs on Tracie’s car window. She desperately tries to get her attention. Tracie shifts into drive and floors it. She peels out of the parking lot without giving Sandra a chance to explain.
Tracie fiddles with her keychain as she rushes to her front door. Tracie is a very private and secretive person. This embarrassing part of her private life being exposed hurts her deeply. She walks into the house and puts her purse down on the kitchen table. Shortly after, she hears a faint scream.
As Tracie walks down the hallway, the screams grow louder. She does not feel overly-surprised; she has become numb to Steve’s violence. As she reaches the door of her son’s room, she hears a loud smack followed by a thud on the floor. She bursts through the door to find her young son Austin on the floor, bleeding from the nose.
Kasey Laine Page 2