Sliding the thin ribbon attached to the book between the pages to mark my spot, I closed the volume and regarded her in full. “What do you mean?”
She shrugged, frowning. “You can’t go back to being a soldier, can you? Won’t they all think you ran out on them? I hadn’t ever thought about it before but . . . you can get in a lot of trouble for that, can’t you?”
Sighing, I ran my fingers through her hair without answering. The same thought had crossed my mind several times, especially now we were planning to enter the thick of a major battle. Men I had known and fought among would be there. The chances of being caught and punished as a deserter were high.
The obvious answer was to enlist as a Continental, or at least that was the best fix I could come up with. That would give me a reason for being there, should I come across anyone I knew, but it would also require me to take part in the military action, rather than assist Olivia and Charlotte in our plight against Gabriel.
As much as it pained me to admit, I did not want to be a Continental for my own reasons, though. The thought of being a turncoat, of going against my word of honor and my proclamation to serve King and Country made my stomach turn unpleasantly. Truthfully, having seen the future and what America had become, I did believe independence was right for the colonies. It was my own self-image and resolutions that stopped me from joining the righteous cause.
“I will have to blend in,” I finally breathed. “Maybe as a commoner? If we are lucky, my messmates will be nowhere to be found, and anyone who might recognize me will fail to do so with my hair as short as it is now.”
“What will happen if they catch you?”
It was a timid question, one that made me think she’d asked out of a desire to prepare herself for the worst, should it come to that.
Biting my lip, I closed my eyes, letting out a slow breath. “At best . . . A lashing and prison sentence. At worst . . .”
The words trailed off, no further explanation needed. Olivia curled closer to my side, cuddling me once more, the faint racing of her heart palpable on my ribs.
“We can find another loop,” she murmured. “A safer one for you. All you have to do is say that’s what you want.”
Surprised, I laughed, not expecting her to have uttered such a thing. “No,” I disagreed. “Charlotte is right. From the reading I’ve done, it should be just chaotic enough that we can finish him without making too much of a scene.”
“I meant what I said before,” she replied seriously. “I’m not willing to risk the lives of the people I love to make history right.” Rolling until she was partially on top of me, she grinned, touching my nose with hers. “That includes you, Private Bancroft.”
Chuckling, I ran my hands over her back, feeling the silkiness of her top. “Private, eh? When did we become so formal, Miss Blake?”
Blushing, she shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve missed some of the things from our past. Like . . . your red coat.” Burying her face in my chest, she laughed, embarrassed over the admission.
Grinning, I kissed the top of her head. “You fancy a man in uniform, Miss Blake? A British soldier in his finest?”
“One British soldier in particular,” she answered, her reply muffled against my skin.
“Then we are at another impasse,” I stated seriously, causing her to look up at me curiously.
“Oh?”
Nodding, I gave her a stern look. “You may like me best in my uniform, but I prefer it when you wear no clothes at all.” Eyes flashing, I suddenly rolled over, safely delivering her to the cushions of the bed and hovering overhead as she laughed.
Leaning down, I placed several kisses along her neck, loving the way she slid her legs along mine, teasing me. Her hands explored my back, breath hot as I took her mouth with mine.
Relief blossomed inside me. For the first time in forever, this felt like the relationship we’d had in the past. I was unsure if it was our decision to right everything together, or our stresses allowing us one night of freedom. Either way, I intended to take full advantage of the situation, for as long as Time would allow.
“We need to decide if we want to be in or out of the city once the siege starts,” I insisted, pointing on the map of Yorktown scrawled across the table, markers lending clarity to the positions each side would occupy on the night of our mission. “While it may be easier to reach Gabriel from the inside as he is trying to get in with the Colonials, that will also put us under direct fire.”
“Constant, direct fire,” Olivia agreed. “In a city running low on rations and full of frightened redcoats.”
Pursing my lips, I nodded. “The accounts I’ve read speak of many deserting as the fight went on. That says to me there is a way in and out somewhere.”
“The water, perhaps?” Charlotte interjected. “The British tried to escape that route, but a storm stopped them from evacuating more than a boatload or so.”
The conversation had been going on like this for two days now, every angle of each location we could possibly cross over the next seven months scrutinized. Military triumphs and failures, civilian resources, maps, records, anything we could get our hands on to prepare ourselves had been read over.
Our only issue now was a disagreement over which side to stay with when it came down to our final moments. The Colonials offered a wider range of movements, the British a surer chance of getting to the dying string in time.
Shaking my head, I moved one of the pieces on the map into position, beside redoubt ten. “Gabriel will be here, with Hamilton and his men, at six-thirty the evening of the fourteenth. He will climb the earthen walls and show no mercy to the soldiers on the other side, claiming another notch in his belt of achievements as a war hero.”
Pointing to the small piece of land jutting out behind Redoubt Ten, called Point of Rocks, I continued. “Our loop is here, yes? On the British side?”
“Correct,” Charlotte agreed. “But that point will have just been taken by the Americans. If we follow them in—”
“Surely someone would notice two women and a man following the soldiers across a battlefield?” Olivia’s interjection was filled with hesitance, as if she didn’t know if it were best to say anything at all when her companions so clearly knew better what they were talking about.
“I agree,” I assured her. “Which is why I believe our best choice would be sheltered in the city for the duration of the siege. If we bring enough supplies to supplement whatever we can round up there—”
Charlotte, shaking her head, interrupted me. “We would have to get there by the beginning of September, at the latest,” she argued. “Any later and we risk being labeled as spies in the city. Not to mention the fact that what’s left of your regiment will be there. The odds of you being discovered and hanged increase tenfold if we stay in the city.”
“You didn’t tell me that,” Olivia said in surprise. Facing me, she frowned, worry creasing her beautiful face. “And what does she mean, what’s left of them? Has something happened to the Seventeenth Foot?”
Nodding glumly, I took my hand in hers. “Most of them will be prisoners of war at the time Yorktown takes place.”
“Woodhall?” she asked, the worry in her voice increasing. “Smith? All of them?”
Hearing the names of my messmates caused a surprising twist in my heart, guilt over having left them behind stabbing at me. “I do not know,” I muttered. “I have not been able to summon the courage to look and see their fates yet.”
She bit her lip as she thought it over, sadness and worry in her eyes. Then, turning to Charlotte, she shrugged. “We’ll have to stay outside.”
“What?” Surprised she had turned against me so soon, I gaped at her.
“It won’t be safe for you to be inside the city, especially not knowing if men you were close to are there or not. I say we take the safer option.”
“It is not safer,” I argued, frustration ripping through me. “I will not see you running through a hole-ridden battlefield, dodgi
ng grenades and cannon fire, doing your best to keep from being shot. The danger for me in the city is minimal. I am more likely to die on the battlefield, as are you!”
“We can wait across the river then,” she continued. “We know what time he’ll be there and can sail over when we’re ready.”
“And be shot by the British then?” Shaking my head, I stood my ground, refusing to give in. “No. We will find a safe house in the city and wait out the worst of it. When the time comes for Gabriel to arrive, we will be waiting. While the Americans take the redoubt, we will take him straight to the point and end him once and for all.”
“August, no,” she answered sternly, squaring her shoulders as she prepared to argue further.
“I do not need your consent,” I growled. “I am the one with the military experience and knowledge of how these armies work. Surely, you see that my decision must be the best one?”
“The easiest one,” she countered like lightning. “The most dangerous one. The most pigheaded one!”
Grabbing her hand, I pulled her away from the table. “Excuse us,” I said stiffly to Charlotte, towing Olivia behind a set of bookshelves where I felt we had some semblance of privacy.
“Let go of me,” she hissed, ripping her hand from mine. “You know I don’t like being forced to do things!”
“What is going on?” I pressed, refusing to give her any more space than she needed to take a breath of fresh air. “Why are you so insistent we stay out of the city?”
“Why are you so keen on dying?” she shot back. “I’m only trying to protect you.”
“And I you,” I countered. “Yorktown is the safest. We will have shelter, food, and ample opportunity to move through the streets to our point of contact.”
“And your entire regiment will be there!” Tears sprang in her eyes, stopping me in my angry tracks. Lips trembling as she looked away, she brushed her cheek, sucking in a deep breath. “Can you not see . . .” Her gaze met mine once more, all of the pains and fears I’d thought she was moving past rising to the surface. “I can’t lose you too, August. My parents are gone, I’m never going to see Emilia again, and if we go into Yorktown and you are recognized, I do not think I will be able to bear what they do to you.”
Turning away, she put her hands on the shelf in front of her, speaking to the spines of the volumes organized before her, the words leaving her tender mouth so anguished and forced it was a miracle she’d said them at all.
“I am ready to go,” she mumbled. “Ready to go home. I dream of nights spent under the stars, winters cuddled in your warm embrace, and a lifetime of love so peaceful that I cannot imagine having it any other way.”
Her shoulders began to shake, silent tears weeping across her skin, dripping onto her shirt and the floor below. “I do not dream much anymore,” she confessed. “It is nightmares that wrap me in their cold clutches each night now. I see you hanging from a gallows, your back bloodied from being lashed. Other times you are stretched across the battlefield, your lips blue like they were in Germantown. I’ve seen your headstone, wept over your body in the streets, watched your eyes as the life flees them.”
Silence filled the air as she got control of the tears. Then, sniffing, she faced me, folding her arms as she finished sharing her delicate admission. “The truth is, I’ve lost so many people I’ve loved already, but I knew I would make it without them. Emilia. Even my parents. But you . . .” Finally, she met my eyes, the beautiful, nutmeg color of them sparkling in sadness. “If you die, I will too.”
My heart shattered into a million pieces, my own eyes filling with tears as I pulled her to me, crushing her in my embrace. My fears were much the same as hers, though they involved her being caught in something she should not be, hence my reasoning for keeping her in the city.
“Olivia, I will never leave you,” I promised, whispering into her hair as I held her against me. “And if I do, I swear it will only be after I have exhausted every other option to stay. Nothing will ever tear us apart if I have anything to say about it.”
“That’s the thing.” She sniffed, resting her cheek on my chest. “You aren’t always going to have a say. What will we do if you’re recognized and arrested? We can’t go into Yorktown, August. It’s too dangerous.”
Sighing, I rested my chin on the top of her head, falling silent. I knew of no way to convince her, no words to say to ease her troubled heart.
“Do you trust me?” I finally muttered.
“With everything I have,” she answered without pause.
My heart clenched. “We will stay in the city,” I whispered. “Together. Always.”
Her body tensed, a few more tears rolling down her face, and then she nodded, pulling away and wiping her face. “You’re sure?”
“Olivia, I would gladly give my life if it meant I was protecting yours. Yes, I am sure.”
A breathy sigh escaped her, and she straightened, steeling herself and her emotions once more. “Fine. We’ll stay in the city.”
We returned to our war table of sorts, Charlotte being kind enough to not say anything as I announced we’d decided to stay in Yorktown.
“Very well,” she agreed. “I will bow to your superior knowledge.” Her eyes lingered on Olivia for a moment, as if waiting for her to contest, but then moved on. “I think we have everything we need. We can leave tomorrow afternoon. By nightfall, we’ll be living through the American Revolution.”
Grabbing her water off the table, Charlotte removed a bottle from her pocket and popped one of the pills inside into her mouth. “You’ll excuse me,” she stated after swallowing. “I have to start taking my supplements now, or I won’t have enough vanadium in my system when it’s time to go.”
“Vanadium?” The word was unfamiliar to me, and Olivia too, it seemed.
Charlotte nodded, making a face as she swallowed another gulp, like she didn’t exactly like the taste of whatever it was she’d taken. “It’s an element present in the human body, but only in minimal, trace amounts. Well, normally, anyway. You two have an abnormal amount.”
“How can you know that?” Olivia interjected.
Charlotte smiled. “Because all natural time travelers have more than usual. Vanadium is the key element in time travel. Without these supplements, I would never be able to go through the loops. Only people like you, natural travelers, would ever be able to do it.”
“The medicine you told me about,” I added. “That was it?”
She nodded. “This and some meds to help fight the side effects of poisoning. My body isn’t equipped to handle as much of the element as I need, which means I’ll get sick if I’m not careful. Things like not being able to breathe, internal bleeding, stuff like that.”
“You’ll bring these things with you to the past?” I questioned. “To keep from getting ill?”
She nodded. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to pack the last of my things. I suggest you do the same. We’ve only a few months to locate your missing painting once we’re there, and then we’ll have the journey to Yorktown. A good night’s sleep will be paramount to our success.”
With that being said, she took her leave, abandoning us in the library without another word. Silence filled in around us, Olivia and I staring at the map on the table before us.
“I don’t want to sleep,” she confessed, her voice small. “I don’t think I can.”
Smiling, I pulled her close, kissing her forehead. “Come. Sleeping or not, I intend for us to remain together. Tomorrow will come either way.”
It was odd, walking the streets of my own time out of my uniform. I’d gone without the red coat before and was unbothered, but something felt different this time. It was as if I’d expected everything to go back to normal as soon as Olivia and I both were here. Instead, it was so starkly different, I felt just as out of place as I had in the other time periods.
Granted, I’d missed almost four years of battles and conflicts in the three and a half months since I left. That was part
of the reason I felt so thrown off. The world had changed, progressed even in some aspects, moving on without me. Things that should have been the same were not, and others I’d expected to be different were the same. Overall, I didn’t know exactly what I thought of it.
However, the conflict between the states and Britain was the same as always, boiling and hot as the two sides continued to throw themselves at each other. The military actions were sound and practiced, each move making sense to me. For the first time, I experienced life from the view of a civilian, forced to live through the actions going on around me without any say in the matter.
It didn’t bother me at the start. All our time was spent searching for my portrait. When we finally found it after two months, stowed in someone’s yard as a door for their chicken coop, I couldn’t help my exclamation of relief upon seeing that it was indeed me in the painting. Delivering it to the home where it would stay protected and forgotten until Charlotte picked it up again lifted a great weight off my shoulders. I wasn’t aware of what had caused it to change, but I had faith it would fix itself so long as we were successful in our mission.
The time alternated between fast and slow after that. Our journey to Yorktown was as uneventful as our stay there had been so far. Winter was coming, as well as the siege, and so I’d been out every day, foraging and buying whatever I thought we might need while we waited for the right moment to strike. After a week or so, I knew where the soldiers mostly kept to, and I avoided them like the plague. Thankfully, my identity had remained unknown to those around me.
It was days like today I wished I could be in uniform, though. Several infantrymen were harassing those in the streets, stealing food, one of them in the early stages of malaria. It wasn’t uncommon to see others ill with the same disease, sickness sweeping through the city as the weather began to turn colder. Still, their uncomfortableness was no excuse for the way in which they spoke to others, nor for their treatment of those same individuals. If I’d been dressed to my station, I would have told them so without hesitation. However, wanting to stay hidden from them, I was forced to move on and ignore their unsavory actions.
Abandoning Anarchy (The Lost in Time Duet #2) Page 15