“Your Awakening is about to start. Fae are stronger and faster than humans, you’ll notice things like this happening more often now,” he says ominously as he walks back to camp. I stand there in shock for a moment.
“Awakening?” What’s my Awakening? Wait isn’t that when I get magical powers? I’m so confused, but I decide not to worry about it at the moment and follow Father back to camp.
As we walk back to the river crossing, Father calls over his shoulder, “That bow is yours now, Attina.” I am shocked. This is the only thing I know of that he and Mother made together, besides me.
“No, Father. I can’t take this from you.”
Father turns back to me smiling, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Yes you can. You can use that bow to its full potential like I never could. I am so happy to give you something like this,” he says nodding to the bow. “And I know your mother would be happy too, pumpkin”. He kisses my forehead, and I don’t know what to say to him so we finish making our way back to camp in silence.
As we get back to camp Father doesn’t walk to our tents like I think he will but stops right inside the sparring ring. I stop outside the ring and call out to him, “Wait, I thought we were done for the day”.
Father belly laughs. “What made you think that? You lost or broke all three arrows back there just to show off. We’re gonna work off some of your arrogance.”
I think he’ll have us go for another run, but no, we get back to sparring instead. This time it’s full force and I continue to have to pick myself up off the ground. I know I’ll have a myriad bruises tomorrow. I feel like I won’t ever get good at this.
“Stop hitting me so hard!” I yell at him as I throw my full weight behind a punch, which misses him completely, catapulting me off balance.
“You have to know what it feels like to be hit by someone bigger than yourself. You can’t know what it feels like until you’ve been through it. Now get up and try again.”
The rest of the day is spent sparring. Father shows me some more technical things he’s learned. How to hold my hand, so I don’t break my fingers when I hit someone, to use my weight, to throw that weight behind my punch without falling, how to stand with my shoulders and legs so I’ll be stable, even how to use my opponent’s weight against them.
By the end of our session, I can barely make it to my tent. I feel like my whole body is one big bruise and I’m in more pain than I thought possible and exhausted, so as soon as my head hits my sleeping bag on top of the hard ground, I pass out.
11
Attina
Before I know it the sun is peeking over the treetops and my father is throwing open my tent.
“Wake up, pumpkin. I know you’re exhausted from the past few days, but it’s time to gather and cut wood for the day. This is the one and only day I will wake you up. Don't get used to this, but after yesterday’s workout and the night before, you deserve it,” he says smiling.
I don’t know what has him in such a good this morning, but I will never be a morning person, so I groan while I start moving to dress. As he leaves to give me privacy, Father calls back, “Wake me when it’s done,” and I can hear him crawling back into his tent. As soon as I finish splitting wood for the day, I call to Father so we can start another day of training.
Today is another day full of sparring and pain. My fingers start aching and I know my father can tell I’m pulling my punches. Then, he puts his hands down, stepping toward me.
“You’re just going to keep hurting yourself and you won’t get any better if you continue punching like this,” he says as he grabs hold of my hands.
I wince at the contact and Father sees me recoil.
“Your hands wouldn’t be hurting if you were punching the way I showed you.” He grabs my wobbling little finger and I rip my hands out of his.
“Ow! Why would you do that?” I shout, cradling my hand as best as I can.
“You can’t land your punches on your pinkie. There is little to no power there and you’re going to end up breaking your fingers punching like that.” He lifts up his own hand and points to the space between his middle and forefinger. “You need to start landing your punches here if you want to seriously hurt someone.”
“Fine,” I say with an edge in my voice.
Father chuckles, “Good, use that anger.”
I immediately cool my temper. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself.”
“I know, pumpkin you’ve always been like that. As I said use your anger; take it out on me, I can take it.”
I nod my head and start throwing punches into his palms again. After the first few punches, I can feel a difference. My pinkie still hurts, but now I can feel more power coming from my punches, and as I relax I can see my little finger is no longer wobbling.
“Good,” Father says. “Let’s get you some lunch and we can try again afterwards.”
While Father is cooking us lunch, I head over to visit with the horses. Oak and Raven are both lying down, sunbathing by our camp. When I approach, Oak sits up on his front end to gap at me, but as soon as Raven sees me she flips her entire body over so her back is facing me.
“So, how did today go?” Oak asks with hope in his voice. I just groan at him and roll my eyes.
“That bad huh?” Oak whispers.
Immediately Raven lifts her head and snorts. “Of course she failed, it was inevitable. She will never be her mother.”
This hurts me. I don’t know how many times over the years Raven has said those exact words, but now, since I’m learning more about my mother and myself, the words hit me like a sting. Usually, I simply ignore her snarky comments, but this time I can’t.
I glare over at Raven’s back and ask, “Why are you always so mean to me?”
Raven picks her head up slightly. “Humph. I’m not even going to dignify such a ridiculous question with an answer.” Then turns her head back away from me.
I glance back to Oak, tears filling my eyes and say, “Sorry, I just can’t,” and stand up and walk back to the tents to eat lunch.
After lunch is over it’s back to the sparring ring. What Raven said to me before lunch has me feeling incensed. I start throwing punches as I keep replaying our conversation over and over in my mind. Of course I failed? Like I didn’t ever have a chance. Who is she to belittle me? I’m getting better. How can she judge me so harshly?
I feel myself vibrating with the anger swelling inside of me. The vibration turns into a heat. The heat starts from my hurt heart and leeches out into my arms then into my hands. I punch harder and faster trying to release all that heat, to get it out of me before it consumes me. Then from the haze of anger, I can hear my father call to me.
“Attina! Baby! Stop!”
His frantic voice pulls me out of the world I was lost in a second ago and I take a step back. Father’s eyes are wide, but his hands are still up ready for me, willing to take the burning hit if I need it. I see the smoke drifting off his outstretched hands. Then I stare down to my own hands and they are pulsing red, like I have fire in my veins thrumming through me.
I drop my hands and run over to my father flinging my arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry! Are you okay? Whaa…what happened?” As I pull away from him I see his eyes have softened.
“Yes, pumpkin. I’m fine, just surprised is all. I guess we'll just have to wrap our hands during sparring from now on.” He runs a hand through his short peppered hair and chuckles. I glance back down to my own hands and see they’ve gone back to my normal skin color.
“Don’t worry. You’re coming into your Awakening, that’s it. So, what got you so angry?”
I can feel my anger clouding my judgment so much I don’t even think to ask what he means about my Awakening. “Raven. She thinks I’m useless and won’t ever be anything like my mother.”
“And what about her words angered you so bad?” he asks, crossing his arms and glaring at me like he’s annoyed.
Meekly I say, “Well, who is she
to judge me?” Suddenly I feel embarrassed so I wrap my arms around myself.
“Exactly, Attina, who is she?”
“What? I don’t understand.”
“Why do you care what she thinks? If you’re going to succeed, you can’t let people get to you like that.”
“Yeah but—”
He cuts me off. “No buts. Everyone will be challenging you, underestimating you and trying to bring you down. If you lose your head like this every time something like this happens you’ll never beat Henrik and take your throne. You have to be harder and slicker than that, Attina.”
He takes a deep breath and lets it out. “Now, we’re going to try another tactic and work all your anger out of you.” He steps up in front of me and puts his leg behind me like he’s about to walk around me and pushes the front of my shoulders hard making me fall over his leg to the ground.
I hit the ground hard flat on my back, which knocks all the air straight out of my lungs. I gasp for air and from the ground I yell, “What did you do that for?”
“You need to learn some grappling skills and this will take some of that anger out of you.”
He goes over the basics with me, showing me how to use someone’s weight or height against them, the best places to strike, how to get out of holds, and even which bones are the easiest to break. After the basics we even start mixing in these techniques with our sparring… the results are not promising.
I push myself up off the ground where my father has once again knocked me. This is going nowhere, I am just getting thrown to the ground and collecting more bruises.
“Father, this is useless, I’m not getting any better.”
My father glances at me for a second then smiles. “Yes, I agree this isn’t working. Take a ten minute break, and let’s try something different.”
For my break, I decide I better have the talk with Oak, which I’ve been meaning to have with him.
“Hey old man, you have a minute to talk?” I ask as I walk up to him out in the field by camp.
Oak bows to me. “For you anything my lady.”
“You knew my mother and didn’t tell me. Now I want to hear it all. Tell me everything you know,” I say with more authority and accusation in my voice than I mean for.
“What do you want to know my lady?” he asks honestly.
“Like I said Oak, everything.”
“Hmm… Okay, well I guess it’s best to start from the beginning. I was extremely young when your mother was born. The only thing I really remember from that time was how happy everyone was. She was the new heir and would one day be queen. The slaves who took care of Fae animals spoke freely in front of a young horse like me. They had hopes the king would be different, maybe kinder, after his first child was born, and if that didn’t happen maybe she would be a more gentle leader.”
“Which she never got the chance to be,” I whisper.
Oak drops his head to the ground and shakes his head. “No, she did not, but her legacy does not die with her. You will be the kind, gentle Queen which she didn’t have the chance to be.”
I sniff back tears. “Yes, you’re right.” I nod. “Now get back to the story, mister.” I point an accusatory finger at him.
Oak chuckles. “Yes, back to the story. Umm where was I?”
“The human slaves hoped she would be a more gentle leader,” I reply.
“Yes. Well as soon as your mother was old enough to walk she was constantly at the palace stables. You could always find her there.” Oak chuckles. “I guess you could say your mother and I grew up together. She took a liking to me since we were both around the same age. We went on so many adventures in the forest growing up. As a kid she was almost as wild and unruly as you were.” He winks at me.
“Before long, she knew Shadow Forest better than probably anyone on all of Arealea. She even had a hideout deep in the forest. I don’t really remember when we found it exactly but buried deep in the forest she found an ancient tree bigger than all the rest of the trees in the forest. I think that tree chose to show itself to her because she searched, and there is no mention of such a tree in any of the ancient texts in the Fae palace. It was obviously a magical tree. She would walk up to it and place her hands on its hulking bark and a door only big enough for her would open up. I don’t know what she did in there, but I know it was her sanctum as a child and continued to be so well into adulthood. She even got the necklace you’re wearing out of that tree. How she convinced it to give her jewelry is beyond me.” Oak chuckles and I grab at my necklace. It’s comforting knowing this necklace came from somewhere which brought my mother such happiness.
“Anyway,” Oak continues, “I’ve strayed from the story again. I was there with her through every fall, every cut, and every fight. When she wanted to join the army, she confided in me. I was her friend, her confidant, and her partner in crime. I don’t think I could have ever gotten over her death if it wasn’t for you my lady. You gave me a purpose again.”
I launch myself on Oak wrapping my arms around his neck. “I love you so much. You’ve always been my partner in crime too. I’m so glad I have you in my life. I don’t know what I would ever do without you, Oak.”
Oak puts his head over my shoulder and takes a step towards me so his head and neck wraps around me, hugging me back as he says, “I do not ever intend on leaving your side my lady.”
I later find out Father’s idea of “something different” is to head out for a run around the forest for an hour. After our run, I crawl back into camp and he and I sit across the campfire from each other eating our dinner. Father’s eyes are fixated on the fire, like he’s searching for answers in the way the fire crackles and flicks.
“I’ve been pushing off this talk, Attina, and I’m sorry, I guess I was trying to spare you from such a big load on your shoulders all at once.”
“Father we had this conversation before, you told me all about my mother and who I really am,” I say annoyed, how could he already forget.
“No, pumpkin. I need to tell you what’s been going on since we left town.”
“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you when you’re planning for us to set off back to town so we can leave for Sanctuary with everyone.”
“We’re not, pumpkin. We’re staying here.”
Panic grips me. “Did something happen? What’s going on? Is everyone okay?”
“Attina, everyone is fine… to my knowledge. It’s nothing like you’re thinking,” he says, shaking his head for emphasis.
This does little to soothe me and with panic clearly coating my voice I ask, “Well then what is it? Stop keeping things from me! I deserve to know everything. Stop keeping me in the dark like I’m a child!!!”
“Yes, I know you’re right, you’re not a child anymore but you will forever be my baby girl, and I will forever try to protect you from unpleasant things if I can. First off, the town is no more…” I feel myself begin hyperventilating, but Father presses on. “The townspeople left. They’re traveling to Sanctuary, the hidden town covered in rock we talked about in the last town meeting.”
I let out a huge sigh, relieved to know everyone is okay. I can feel the air slowly coming back into my lungs as I continue.
“When did this happen? How do you know this? I thought we had almost a week before everyone left. I thought you had packed too much for a week trip, but I trusted you would get us back before the move. Those are our people. How could you let them leave without us?”
“Yes, pumpkin those are our people, but after the town meeting when we got home, you went off to bed, James left, and I took off to go to Nathan’s house to talk with him. Nathan is the only other person in the world that knows who your mother truly was. We talked until dawn and came up with a plan.” He paused before continuing.
“As you know, the Solis have gotten out of control and too close to home. We decided he would take as many people from the town to Sanctuary as he could get to leave right away and I would take you out to this campsite and ex
plain things to you and train you. After we’re done training and you’ve gone through your Awakening we can set out for Sanctuary.”
“I still don’t understand why we couldn’t have stayed with them, gone to Sanctuary, and trained there.”
Father takes a deep, steadying breath and gazes back into the fire, his face goes stern. “Which brings me to the other thing I needed to tell you about, pumpkin. You will be going through a change soon.”
I roll my eyes. “Father, I already went through puberty years ago.”
“Attina,” he says in a no nonsense voice. “Not like that. When Fae turn a certain age, they go through a change; their Awakening, and when this happens magic is what’s awakened.”
“Each Fae is different. Some can control one or multiple elements, some can speak to spirits, and even fewer can listen in on people’s thoughts. A Fae’s powers could be literally anything under the sun according to your mother. Your mother’s power was weather manipulation.”
“She said when a Fae comes of age there is a power which is released, a power so forceful it makes the ground quake. She said that’s what earthquakes actually are: a Fae coming into their power. This power is the magic awakening inside them, but along with this massive power, bursts pain. Your mother said when she came of age it felt like the power would break her in two. Now, I know you’ve grown up with these townspeople your whole life, but they’ve all grown up hating the Fae. Do you seriously think you’d be able to hide your Fae side when the magic inside you is awakened?”
That startles me; I can feel the tears welling up inside me. It hadn’t actually hit me yet but now it does—I am a freak of nature. There is no one like me in the entire world we know of. I belong with no one.
The tears start rolling down my face with a vengeance. Father stands up from his place across the campfire and sits by my side, worry is written all across his features, his brow is furrowed and his lips sag, like this is not the reaction he was expecting. Tears are pouring from my eyes now mixing with liquid coming out of my nose. I wipe the cold wetness from my face and all my emotions overcome me as soon as my Father puts his hand on my shoulder reassuringly. I can’t help myself. I snatch at my mother’s necklace, rubbing it desperately, trying to soothe myself.
She Awakens Page 9