by Tana Stone
Kos didn’t wait for a response. He knew she didn’t have one. Crushing his mouth to hers, he pulled her into a tight embrace. Her body went limp, her lips yielding to his as he pressed her harder against the wall. Then her arms were scraping through his hair and pulling him closer. His cock throbbed as she arched into him, the feel of her soft body moving against him sending shockwaves down his spine.
When he finally pulled away, they were both panting.
“If you get to save me, why don’t I get to save you?” Hope asked.
He took her face in one hand, stroking his thumb across her bottom lip. Maybe saving her would make up for not being able to save his brother. “You already saved me, cinnara. Don’t you know that?”
Her breathing was ragged, and her eyes sparkled. “I don’t know if I can ever be what you want. I don’t know if it’s in me.”
Her words were like ice in his veins, but he tried to shake them off. “Right now, all I want is for you to be alive and safe. We will worry about the rest later.”
Stepping away from her, Kos forced himself to focus his mind on what he needed to do. He flipped up his hood, enclosing his face and tapping his wrist to start the air flow. He grabbed a tool kit from another cabinet, checking it quickly to ensure it had what he needed.
“You’re sure I can’t talk you out of this?” Hope asked, her words muffled through the hood.
He reached up and twisted the inner ring of the shuttle’s top hatch. “Neither of us seem to be skilled at talking the other into anything.”
“That’s not fair,” she said. “You know I…”
He stopped twisting the hatch and waited for her to finish the sentence. He felt like he didn’t know anything for sure. Not when it came to the human female who was supposed to be his mate.
“I will be back soon,” he said when he realized she wasn’t going to speak. He tapped his wrist again. “You can monitor me on the comms system.”
She nodded, her eyebrows pressed together as he popped open the inner hatch and hoisted himself up through it. His throat was tight as he took a last look at her before slamming the inner hatch and locking it. He reached up and opened the outer hatch, tethering himself to a hook inside before leaving the shuttle.
The darkness surrounding him was vast, and he swallowed down a sudden flash of panic as it struck him how small their vessel was and how alone they were. Stars blinked in the distance but there were no planets or other ships anywhere in sight.
Forcing himself not to think about how far they were from any other life, Kos turned toward the ship and the steady drops of fuel he saw leaving from the dark hull and floating away. He clenched his jaw and reached for his tools. The only female he’d ever cared about was inside the damaged shuttle, and her survival depended on him.
Twenty-Eight
Hope watched the hatch above her close, the metal clang echoing through the small interior of the shuttle. She waited below, listening to the sound of the second hatch opening and closing, her gaze never leaving the hole that Kos had disappeared through.
The smell of burnt oil was stronger in the back of the shuttle, and she had to put a hand over her nose to keep from choking, the taste of char creeping down her throat anyway.
“Why don’t you come back and sit down?” Xarla put an arm around her shoulders, her tail wrapping around Hope’s waist as she led her back to the chairs in the cockpit.
Hope numbly sat. “I shouldn’t have let him go.”
“You heard what he said. It was either that or we lose all power in the ship. He’s a big, tough Drexian. He’ll be fine.”
Hope met the alien’s large green eyes. “I shouldn’t have let him go out there thinking I don’t care about him.”
Xarla gave her a knowing smile. “I don’t think he believes that. You did give him a pretty enthusiastic send-off from what I could hear up here.”
Hope’s face warmed. “But why can’t I tell him?”
“Tell him what?” Xarla tilted her head as she stroked the end of her own tail.
“Oh, I don’t know. What I really feel, I guess.” Hope peered out the front of the ship, but she saw nothing. No surprise there. If Kos was repairing a fuel leak, he was probably at the back of the vessel. She flopped back.
“And what do you really feel?”
There was that question again. Why was it so hard to answer? Why was it so difficult to say the words?
Xarla studied her for a while. “I don’t need for you to tell me. It’s obvious to anyone watching the two of you that you’re in love.”
“What?” Hope snapped her head around to look at the alien. “In love? Who said anything about that? I barely know the guy.”
Xarla twitched one shoulder up and down. “As if that matters. I fell in love with my Kerx about two ternons after I laid eyes on him.”
“Ternons?”
“Vralithian unit of measuring time.” She snapped her fingers. “As long as that.”
“So, two seconds,” Hope said. “You fell in love with a guy in two seconds?”
Xarla leaned back, a smile spreading across her face. “Almost as soon as I saw him.” She sighed. “He had a very long, very fine tail.”
Hope couldn’t help grinning herself, wondering if a long tail meant anything else in Xarla’s species. “His name was Kerx?”
Her friend nodded. “He was the most amazing male I’d ever met. We were bonded almost immediately.”
“Is that like being married?”
Xarla cocked her head in obvious confusion.
Hope tried again. “Mated?”
Xarla bobbed her head up and down. “Yes, we were mates for life.”
Hope swallowed a lump she didn’t know had been growing in her throat. “And then you were taken by the Curator?”
“Oh, no. Kerx was killed in the second wave of the Kronock invasion. I wasn’t taken by the Curator until much later, although by that time I barely cared. With Kerx gone, nothing mattered anymore.”
“I’m really sorry,” Hope said.
Xarla waved a hand, seeming to snap out of her memory. “It was a long time ago, but I can tell you from experience that time doesn’t matter when it comes to falling in love.”
“You were lucky to know right away. It’s not like that with me. I don’t have those same kinds of feelings.”
“You don’t?” Xarla squinted at her. “Do humans not fall in love?”
“We do, it’s just that love has never been high up on my to-do list.”
Xarla let out a peal of laughter. “It isn’t something you plan for. It just happens to you. And unless I’m very wrong, it’s already happened to you and Kos.”
At the mention of his name, Hope glanced outside again, even though she knew she wouldn’t see him. She hoped everything was going well and wished she’d thought to ask him how long the repair would take. Waiting had never been one of her strengths.
“Obviously, I care about him,” she said, when she’d turned her attention back to Xarla. “How could I not after all we’ve been through together? And it’s not like he isn’t a really great guy. If we were back on Earth, I’d definitely want to hook up with him again.”
Her alien friend looked bewildered again. “Hook up? That sounds painful.”
“It means get together.”
Another blank look from Xarla.
“Sleep with? Have sex with? Fuck?”
Xarla smiled and nodded. “Ah, yes. Like you did in your cell?”
Hope tried not to act flustered. “You knew about that?”
Xarla swiveled her chair around. “You were not as quiet as you thought you were. But don’t worry, you weren’t as loud as the Bragadinlings who occupied the cell before you. All those tentacles and suckers made quite a racket.”
“I guess that’s something,” Hope muttered to herself, glad that Kos didn’t have tentacles. “Anyway, the sex was great, but it doesn’t mean we’re stuck with each other for life.”
“Humans don’t mate
for life?”
“Not this human.”
Xarla tapped one yellow finger to her chin. “And you have told this to Kos? That you don’t intend to take just one Drexian?”
“I don’t want to mate with more than one Drexian.”
“Then I do not understand.”
Hope was starting not to understand herself, either. “It isn’t that I want another Drexian, it’s that I can’t imagine saying yes to one guy for life.”
Xarla nodded slowly, but Hope was pretty sure she didn’t get it, and her head was starting to hurt from explaining and getting nowhere, especially when her reasons sounded so lame, even to her.
“Shouldn’t we have heard from Kos by now?” she asked, glancing at the console and the confusing display of lights and symbols. At least the scent of scorched fuel had dissipated. That had to be a good sign.
“He mentioned the comms system.” Xarla studied the shiny surface. “Maybe we have to press something to talk to him.”
Hope inspected the readouts. No way was she going to press an unknown button and potentially activate a missile or something. “I don’t think we should mess with the controls.”
“Here.” Xarla ignored her, reaching across and touching a finger to a green button. “Let’s see if that worked.”
Hope waited but heard nothing but static.
“Say something,” whispered Xarla.
“Kos?” She raised her voice, even though she suspected the comms system could pick up her voice easily. “Are you out there?”
There was a heavy pause, then his deep voice. “I’m here.”
She let out a breath as Xarla clapped her hands. “How’s it going?”
“I’ve been able to stop the leak.” His voice sounded distant, even though he was only on the other side of the ship’s wall. “Now I’m patching the rip in the hull. Is everything okay inside?”
“We’re fine.” She wanted to tell him she missed him, but that sounded pathetic. He’d been gone for only a few minutes.
“Good. I should have this done shortly, and we can resume our flight.”
“Be careful out there,” she said, ignoring Xarla’s amused grin.
“I will…Grek!”
“Kos.” Hope sat up abruptly. “Is everything all right?”
“I dropped one of my tools. The one I need to seal this hole.” He huffed out a loud breath. “I’ve almost got it.”
Even though she knew she couldn’t do anything from inside, Hope jumped up and craned her neck to try to see him out the front.
“Grek!”
His shout made her breath catch in her throat. “What’s going on out there? Kos?”
Xarla joined her in standing, but all they could hear was static.
Hope locked eyes with the alien next to her. “Where did he go?”
“I’m still here.” Kos’s voice broke through the static. “But I don’t know for how long.”
“What do you mean?” Hope asked.
“When I went for the sealing tool, my tether unhooked from the ship.”
Hope sank back down in her chair, her legs shaky. “I don’t understand. What does that mean?”
“I’m no longer attached to the ship.”
Xarla reached out and clutched her arm, and Hope followed her gaze. Since the suit had adjusted itself to match the inky blackness of the sky, it was almost impossible to see, but Kos’s face was clear as he floated by in space.
Hope stood again, her mouth going dry as she met his eyes across the distance. “Can’t you get back to us?”
His chuckle was a little sad. “There is no air in space, so I can’t propel myself through it nor can I stop moving away.”
Xarla inhaled sharply and sank down into her seat, pulling her tail into her lap.
“Then I’m coming to get you.” Hope headed to the back of the shuttle and started opening the hidden cabinets until she found one of the environmental suits.
“Absolutely not,” Kos’s voice boomed through the ship.
“Do I have to remind you for the hundredth time, you’re not the boss of me?” She stepped into the baggy suit—clearly designed for bigger Drexians—tugging it over her waist and ignoring Kos yelling at her to stop.
Her heart was racing and all the sounds around her had become a single loud blur. She could not let him die out in space. She couldn’t. The thought of losing him made her almost double over in pain as she jammed her arms into the suit and zipped it up.
Maybe Xarla was right. Maybe she did love him, but if this was love, it felt like shit. At least, the thought of being without him felt awful, as if a gaping hole was being opened in her heart.
This was why you never got attached, she reminded herself. Well, it was too fucking late for that. She was attached, and even though she wasn’t sure what it all meant or how it would play out, him dying, when she could save him, was not an option.
Shaking her head, she stared up at the hatch. She didn’t know how she was going to get him back, but she was going to do it. The alternative was unthinkable, and she pushed the thoughts of him floating alone in space from her mind. She didn’t know how much air he had in that suit, but it couldn’t be a lot.
No, no, no. That was not going to happen. She was going to get him back. He was not going to die all alone thinking she didn’t love him. Even thinking the word almost made her burst into tears. She loved him. Of course, she loved him. Why else would she be crawling out of a spaceship to save him? It was possibly the stupidest thing she’d ever done, and that was saying something.
She sized up the distance to the hatch. She wasn’t as tall as Kos, but she should be able to make it if she jumped high. Crouching down, she felt a sharp pain on the back of her head. What the hell? She put her hand to her head as she swayed in place, the ship seeming to tilt suddenly.
As her vision blurred and she collapsed to the floor, she heard Xarla’s voice. “I’m so sorry.”
Twenty-Nine
“Thanks, Xarla,” Kos said, once the alien had come on the comms system to tell him she’d knocked out Hope. “You’re sure she’s just knocked out?”
He could see the outline of the Vralithian through the front window of the shuttle but was too far away to see detail or he knew he’d see the female’s stern expression.
“I’m sure. She’s breathing fine, but she might have a headache when she wakes up.” Xarla sighed heavily. “I’m not happy about this. She’s never going to forgive me.”
“You saved her life,” he said, letting out a breath of relief that Hope wouldn’t be able to follow him out into space to her own almost certain death. “I owe you one.”
“I don’t know if you’re going to be able to pay up, Drexian.” Xarla’s voice cracked.
Kos tried to laugh, but it came out choked. “Then you’ll just have to accept my eternal gratitude.”
The dark hull of the shuttle was so close, but without gravity or any form of propulsion, he couldn’t get himself to it. At least he felt close to her, he thought, as he worked to suppress the growing sense of panic that he was floating in space with no external source of oxygen.
Swiveling his head, Kos couldn’t spot anything aside from vast open space. He knew there were no planets nearby, and as far as he could see, no other ships. He’d sent out a quick subspace distress call, but he’d encrypted it and put in on a Drexian-only channel. Luck would have to be on his side for a Drexian ship to be close enough to get it in time. And, so far, he hadn’t been all that lucky.
Except for Hope. He’d been lucky to find Hope. She might have been a pain in his ass at first, but he wouldn’t give up any of it for the time they’d had together. Not even if it led him to where he was now.
“I can try to fly the shuttle over to you,” Xarla said, her pale gold face appearing larger through the front of the ship as she sat in the pilot’s chair. “You aren’t far away.”
“Have you ever piloted a ship before?”
A long pause. “Technically, no.”
What little hope he’d had slipped farther away. “Chances are greater you’d fly into me than be able to accelerate just enough to reach me.”
“I have to try,” Xarla said, her voice becoming a whisper. “I couldn’t look your female in the eye if I didn’t.”
“I appreciate you wanting to—”
“Listen, Drexian.” She cut him off. “Drop the tough guy act. I know you don’t want to die out there, and there’s no way I’m going to let you without at least trying to save you. I know your female enough to know she’ll never get over losing you. I’m not going to be responsible for that, and neither are you, so you can either tell me how to fly this thing or hope for the best.”
He almost laughed at the bossy tone of the alien. “Then I’d better walk you through it.”
“Now we’re talking. Okay, what do I do first?”
Kos closed his eyes, envisioning the shiny black control panel as if he was sitting in the pilot’s chair. He imagined placing his hands on the smooth surface that was always slightly cool to the touch. “Since I stopped the fuel leak, you should be able to power up the engines again.”
“How do I do that?”
He kept his eyes closed. Imagining himself piloting the shuttle helped calm his pounding heart, and if he thought hard enough he could almost smell the slight aroma of burned fuel and hear the low hum of the engines powering up. “Find the green symbol that looks like a sideways oval with a line through the center. It’s to your far right.”
Xarla hummed softly. “Found it.”
“Press that and hold it until you hear the engine catch.” Even through the static of the comms link, Kos could hear the subtle purr of the shuttle powering up.
“Did it!” Xarla’s voice was filled with pride. “Now what?”
“Now the hard part.” He opened his eyes, breathing in and feeling the air in his mask becoming thin. “You’ll need to navigate using only thrusters.”
“Thrusters,” Xarla repeated. “Where are those?”
He pulled up the flashing lights of the console in his mind again. Even though, before he’d come on this mission, it had been a long time since he’d flown small vessels, his Drexian Academy training had kicked in as soon as he’d sat down in the pilot’s chair. Now, he used muscle memory as well as visual recall to remember the controls.