“Oh.” She dabbed at her mouth again. “Thanks for this.”
“For what?”
“Showing me your town, buying the clothes, this meal . . . It was very nice of you.”
There was something about Pandora’s tone that sounded foreboding, as if she still planned to leave. I was being stupid. Of course, she couldn’t stay in Havenwood Falls, and I couldn’t live in her world. We both knew it. I just wanted to ignore the facts for as long as I could.
Forcing a smile, I said, “It was nothing. If anything, I should be thanking you.”
“And why is that?” She dropped the napkin on the table.
“You pulled me out of my routine—something I desperately needed.”
Pandora reached for my hand. “You demanded honesty from me. Isn’t it time you did the same?”
The moment I dreaded. “But not here. Let’s head back to my place. What I have to say shouldn’t be said in public.”
* * *
We rode to my house in silence. I didn’t know what was on Pandora’s mind, but I was busy formulating how to explain my story. The last person I told it to . . . Well, she was no longer around.
Pandora removed her jacket, kicked off her shoes, and scooted into a corner of the sofa. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“No. I do.” I shrugged out of my own jacket and sat beside her. “I told you some of this already.”
“You said you came here with your grandparents when you were fourteen.”
“Right. I just didn’t tell you how serious it was.” I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees. It was harder than I thought it would be.
Pandora touched my back. “You mentioned being in trouble with the government and something about computers.”
“My cousin used to dare me to hack into mainframes. One night, he asked me to crack into a server.” I side-glanced at Pandora. “He gave me the details, but I didn’t know it belonged to the FBI. Next thing I knew, the cops were at my parents’ door.”
“Surely they didn’t believe you did it?”
“I’ve always been tall for my age . . . Mom and Dad got a lawyer who said I was looking at a stint in juvie.”
“Juvie?”
“Prison for youth offenders.” I paused for a moment. “I was fortunate that my grandparents were in town. They offered to take me with them. I had no idea they lived in Havenwood Falls.”
“But that doesn’t explain why you spend so much time alone.”
“I’m getting there.” I shoved to my feet and paced the floor. “Three years ago, I had a girlfriend. Lianne was the—”
“Monte?”
I stopped moving. “Yeah?”
“The details aren’t necessary. Just tell me what happened to her.”
“She died. Fucking freak accident. Lianne went on a trip outside of Havenwood Falls. Sheriff Kasun said the vehicle wrecked shortly after leaving town. No explanation of how it happened.”
Suddenly, Pandora’s hands went around my waist. She placed her head on my chest. “I get it.”
I wrapped my arms around the female. “It took me months to get over Lianne’s death. My grandparents told me it wasn’t my fault, but they didn’t know the truth.”
“Which was?”
“We had a damned fight before she left. Lianne didn’t want me in SIN. She said they’d only use me.”
“Lianne knew about the hacking?”
“Yeah, but I thought she was trying to fucking control me. The next day, she came by the apartment. Told me she was leaving town for a few days. I told her that if she left, I didn’t want to see her again.”
Pandora rubbed my back. “Why did you lie?”
“That’s who I was then. Lying seemed easier than the truth. There was a lot of shit about me that Lianne didn’t know, including me being a nagual. Despite her wishes, I joined SIN along with Hunter. He convinced me that I needed them in my life.”
“I’m sorry about Lianne.”
“Don’t be.” I didn’t deserve Pandora’s sympathy. “After the funeral, I threw myself into the club. Became the best damned prospect SIN ever had. If I wasn’t at the clubhouse, I was at work. Staying busy kept me from getting involved with someone else,” I admitted.
“Oh, my poor, misguided soul.” Pandora gazed up at me. “What happened to Lianne wasn’t your fault. Most likely, it was how she was meant to go. Punishing yourself isn’t absolution. Havenwood Falls is supposed to be a haven, not a prison.”
I gave her a wry smile. “I know that now.”
“Good. Can we sit down? Because I really want to kiss you.”
Chapter 10
Pandora
I was on my knees writhing in ecstasy while Monte rode my body like a beast. The slap of flesh on flesh filled the room while loud moans from the both of us created a sensual, underlying rhythm. His pulsing cock, moving hard and fast, jackhammered toward a desperate climax. Monte clasped my hips, pulled me hard into his final thrust, and he came with an earthshaking cry. Seconds later, his rough motion sent me over the edge. As always, it was wave upon wave of luxurious sensations. We remained in the awkward position—Monte resting against my back—for a few minutes as our bodies recovered.
Monte made it overwhelmingly difficult not to fall for him. It was more than his handsome face, flawless physique, and undeniable chemistry. For me, it was the possibility of a simple lifestyle—free from concerns and the chaos that sometimes accompanied death. He was a man who would be so easy to love. If I had permission to do so.
The shifter wasn’t the pretentious type. I’d had my fill of that kind of man during my existence. Men whose entire lives were predicated on appearance. Men who spent their days chasing down frivolous pursuits. It wasn’t until death stared them in the face that they even tried to embrace anything significant. But that wasn’t the case with Monte. He was as real as real could get. And underneath his laid-back exterior was a heart of gold—a rarity in the human world. Probably even more rare amongst supes. Great traits if I were looking for someone to love, but that couldn’t happen—wouldn’t happen—for a death spirit.
Or could it?
Lying beside Monte, I snuggled closer to him and thought about it some more. Entities fell in love quite frequently. Some of the greatest fictionalized romances had a basis in the passion between gods and goddesses. For the first time, I considered why shinigami had to be so different.
“Perhaps we’re looking at the situation all wrong,” I said out loud.
Monte intertwined his fingers with mine and squeezed. “Oh, I think I see this one quite clearly.”
So did I, but his stiffening dick wasn’t the one I referred to. I pulled the blanket over us. “Not that one, silly. I’m talking about my predicament with Death.”
“Do tell.” Monte lifted our joined hands and kissed the back of mine.
“Ever since Izanami pulled me out of the ether and gave me life, I’d been told that shinigami don’t fall in love. We can’t—”
Monte pushed up on his elbows and looked down at me. “Why not? Who made that rule?”
Shrugging, I said, “I’m guessing it was Izanami. After all, she was the one who said that emotions interfered with our purpose.”
He dragged a hand through his hair. “She told you that? Is it documented somewhere? I understand that the Japanese underworld—”
“Yomi,” I corrected. “The Japanese underworld could also apply to the yakuza—the human mafia.” Madame Death was nefarious, but I’d rather deal with her than the legendary crime syndicate. Her agony lasted but a moment while theirs could be endless for the victims they tortured.
“I understand that Yomi is different from Hell, but something doesn’t sound right about her explanation.” Monte’s brow furrowed deeply. “Remember the reaper I was looking for?”
“The one we sought at the bar? He left on a job, right?”
“He came to Havenwood Falls because of work and managed to fall in love while he
was here.” Monte slipped out of bed and put on his jeans.
“Your point?”
“If one of Death’s reapers can love, why can’t you? On top of that, have you thought any more about the agreement?”
“You mean the marriage to Death.” The idea sent a feverish chill down my spine. I rubbed my upper arms. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking of it.”
“He wants a wife, which means he can feel. It also means that you are more than just an empty vessel escorting human souls to their final resting place.” Monte faced me. “I think your creator lied to you.”
My mouth fell open.
“Why would she do that to you?” Monte tugged on his T-shirt and then sat on the edge of the bed. “Want to hear my answer?”
I nodded, unable to find the words.
“If this pact with Death was made after your creation, then she had to tell you that nonsense. Otherwise, you would have found someone, and the agreement would have been threatened.”
“But my roommate . . . All shinigami . . .” I stopped myself. Hope was the only other spirit that believed Madame Death’s rhetoric. I’d never heard anyone else mention it. My time in Havenwood Falls, along with Addie’s tattoo, must have altered my makeup. I felt a horrid foreboding settle deep in my gut.
Monte touched my arm and grabbed my attention. “Call your roommate while I’m gone. Maybe she can fill in some details for you.”
I squinted up at him. “Where are you going?”
“I’ve got church tonight.”
“Church?” I tilted my head to the side. “I didn’t take you for the religious type.”
“Not that kind. It’s what the club calls our meetings.” He leaned in and brushed my lips with his. “I promise not to be long.”
“Can I come?”
He touched my cheek. “Not even old ladies get to attend church.”
“I am not that old!” A couple of centuries was approximately twenty human years in my world. Shinigami aged very slowly.
Monte chuckled. “That’s not what it means. An old lady is a steady girlfriend. She supports her man, allowing him to fulfill his role with the club. Think of her as an asset—his right arm—so to speak.”
Smiling, I asked, “Does that make me your old lady?”
“Only if you want that title. Personally, you’re much more to me. All this time I’ve lived in darkness. You’re the light showing me the right path.” He kissed me again before grabbing his jacket and leaving.
Monte had it wrong. I was the one who had existed in the shadows. He gave form to the murkiness and provided much-needed clarity.
* * *
“Oh, I’m so glad you contacted me,” Hope said. “Madame is furious.”
“She has no right to be,” I announced. “Not after what she’s done.”
Wariness seeped into my partner’s voice. “What’s happened, Pandora?”
Ignoring her question for a moment, I said, “You know Toshi?”
“The handsy spirit? What about him?”
“That male doesn’t hesitate to put the moves on us. But what does Madame constantly say about entanglements?”
“That we’re not supposed to date our own. We’re not to have sex with our own. We can’t . . .” Panic entered her tone. “Pandora, what have you done?”
“Nothing. Izanami’s been feeding us a serious load of bullshit. Why is it okay for Toshi to keep pursuing us? I’ve even seen him with other females. If it’s forbidden for us to get involved with our own kind, why are they allowed to break the rule?”
The phone went silent.
“Hope?”
“I’m still here. Just trying to wrap my head around what you’re saying. Why would Izanami lie to us?”
“Control—pure and simple.” It was the only explanation I had. “Do me a favor and speak to Toshi. Find out what he’s been told about relationships.”
“Want me to have him call you?”
“No!” The last thing I needed was for him to locate me. Toshi was as sly as a kitsune. For all I knew, he’d use the info for his own gain. “I’ll call you again tomorrow.”
“Pandora, can I ask you about your dream man?”
It took her long enough to get around to it. “He wasn’t just a dream. He’s real and a good man.”
“You do remember your engagement to Death?”
“I’d like to forget it, but I can’t. To be honest, Madame’s lies should make the arrangement null and void.”
“It should, but . . . I hear that Death is very forgiving.”
“Let’s pray that the rumors aren’t wrong.”
* * *
Unable to sit still and let life unfold, I returned to the inn. Thankfully, the person I wanted to speak with was in the lobby with Michaela. Both ladies looked up as I crossed the floor.
“Hello, stranger,” Addie said. “Enjoying your stay?”
I cut my gaze toward Michaela who smiled broadly. “What did you tellher?”
“Nothing that nobody couldn’t see for themselves.” The moroi vampire laughed. “Hate to tell you, but everyone in town knows about you spending time with Monte.”
My cheeks heated.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” Addie said. “Everyone is so happy that Monte’s getting out again.”
Recalling the conversation I had earlier with him, I asked, “Was it really that bad?” When the two friends exchanged a knowing look, I added, “He told me about Lianne.”
Addie sighed. “It was. After her death, Monte sealed himself off from everyone. Thank goodness for Hunter James. He talked some sense into Monte and together they prospected SIN.”
“That’s his best friend, right?”
“Yes. But what happened with Lianne was before I came back,” Michaela said.
Addie nodded.
“If Lianne was upset about Monte joining the club, why would he go through with it?”
Addie took a sip from a ceramic mug. “Hunter encouraged it. I guess he saw it as a way for Monte to move past Lianne’s death.”
“A distraction,” I said, understanding. If it hadn’t been for the motorcycle club, Monte probably would have become a hermit.
“Exactly,” the women said in unison.
“Something tells me that’s not why you were looking for me,” Addie said.
“It wasn’t. Is there somewhere—”
Michaela smiled. “The library is empty, if you want to use it.”
Addie and I entered a room with floor-to-ceiling bookcases lining all the walls but one. The small space included comfy-looking arm chairs. We sat down in front of the only window in the room affording a view of the town square. The idyllic scene didn’t hint at the supernaturals living in Havenwood Falls—just peace.
“What’s up, Pandora?”
“I’ve got a bit of a problem.” I fiddled with my jacket’s zipper.
“With Death or your employer?”
My eyes widened.
“Don’t be surprised. Michaela was at the Dirty Knuckle earlier and overheard Oscar Vega talking about your situation. He was looking for Shade.” Before I could speak, Addie said, “Michaela only mentioned it because she was concerned. She was going to say something about it to you or Monte.”
Slowly, my blood pressure rose. I didn’t need the hellhound spreading my business around town, which forced me to ask, “How protected am I here?”
Addie leaned forward. “Normally, nobody can find us. But we’ve had some problems, prompting us to tighten the wards around the town.”
I noticed how she seemed to sidestep my question, but I didn’t want to call her out on it. Instead, I asked, “Do those wards keep out all forces?”
“No, but we have alarms. We’ll know right away if Death or Izanami breeches the wards.”
“What about other death spirits?”
“You’re talking about deadly shinigami? Same thing. The best we can do is respond if they arrive.” Addie studied me for a moment. “Do you really think your em
ployer will come after you?”
“Not sure.” It was an honest answer. “I contacted my roommate back in Yomi. She’ll ask around and let me know what’s going on.”
Addie pursed her lips. “If you learn anything that I should know, please—”
“I will.” I didn’t want to become a burden or do anything to destroy the semblance of tranquility in town.
She smiled. “By the way, how are things going with Monte?”
“Very well.”
The girl pushed up her glasses as she studied me. “But you’re worried about the relationship.”
“No, I’m not. I’m concerned about the risk.”
“Tell me about it.”
So I shared my worst fears with her.
Chapter 11
Monte
Although I told Pandora there was nothing religious about SIN’s church, it was our once-a-week personal come-to-Jesus moment. In that forum, the minister was an intimidating hellhound who had a generous side not known to everyone.
Liam Peters was as blunt as a motherfucker and as demanding as the Devil himself might be, but I loved him like he was blood. I’d lay down my life for him—for any of those guys—any damned day of the week.
After we discussed business—mostly details about some dispatch changes regarding Cerberus Delivery—I pulled Liam to the side. “Got a minute?”
He stroked the stubble on his jaw. “Sure. Whatcha need?”
“In private?”
Despite the dark glasses, I felt the hellhound’s surprised stare right before he cleared his throat. “Yo, get the hell out! I need the goddamned room.”
Chairs scraped, and heavy feet shuffled across the floor amid disgruntled voices as the men emptied from the space. Hunter frowned as he glanced back at me.
“Don’t worry, man. I’ll call you.” Hopefully, I conveyed the right sentiment. I didn’t want my friend overly concerned.
Hunter’s eyebrows shot up. His gaze traveled between Liam and me, then he dipped his chin before leaving with the rest of the members.
Flirting With Death Page 7