Chapter Fifty-One
‘And you’ll call me, won’t you, if there’s anything?’ Jessica said for the fourth time, as she walked to the door.
‘Of course,’ Grahame answered.
‘OK,’ she said, steeling herself. It had been hard to leave Anna since the incident, but she had to let things get back to normal. Or, not exactly normal, but new and improved normal.
It had been the first time she’d set foot properly in Grahame’s house. Thinking about it now, walking to her car, she felt quite embarrassed. He’d lived with Tabitha for almost a decade, been married to her for six. And of course it was difficult seeing her replacement and the babies that could have been hers. But the space between their two families had left a gap into which her daughter had fallen. And she wasn’t going to let her pride damage Anna any longer.
She’d sat with Grahame and Tabitha while the twins played with Anna on the rug, giggling and chortling as their big sister zoomed their toy cars around and enjoyed taking the lead. It had been awkward. But not unbearable. And with time, it would get easier. Hopefully.
When she’d said goodbye and left Anna with her second family for the evening, her daughter had whispered a heartfelt thank you. ‘I know that wasn’t easy, Mum,’ she’d said, sounding older than her years.
The journey to Bea’s was only a couple of minutes, but it took her at least five to park the car in one of the minuscule spaces left on the crowded street. Once she was fairly confident she’d got close enough to the kerb to avoid being rammed by a passing van, she locked the car and went to knock.
Bea answered the door. ‘Right on time,’ she grinned. ‘I’m impressed.’
‘And with chocolate,’ Jessica grinned, waving the brightly coloured box as she walked into the house.
‘Thanks, I think,’ said Bea. ‘Although I’m actually on a diet. Sort of.’
‘What? Really?’
‘Don’t get too excited. I’m not going to start blogging about it or anything—’
‘Hey!’
‘And I’m definitely not going to be asking you for one of your seaweed and salad recipes.’
‘Fair enough.’
‘But I want to shed the few pounds of … of baby weight,’ Bea said, her voice faltering slightly. ‘From the boys. I never really … I suppose I never really addressed it because I always thought there’d be another …’
‘Oh, Bea …’
‘Don’t,’ said her friend. ‘It’s OK. It’s got to be OK, hasn’t it? I’m so much luckier than so many people.’
‘Well, maybe we can do something together? No, no, don’t look at me like that! I don’t mean anything extreme.’
‘Extreme, like going to the gym?’
‘Yes, if you’d rather not. How about something outside? Walking, maybe?’
Bea looked at her midriff. ‘Would take a LOT of walking to shift this.’
‘You’d be surprised.’
‘OK, we can always try.’
They grinned at each other for a moment. ‘But no selfies,’ Bea added. ‘And definitely no tweeting.’
‘No.’
‘Or blogging.’
‘Nope.’
‘Just walking.’
‘Just walking.’
‘Anyway, you look great, baby weight or no baby weight,’ Jessica said, perching on one of Bea’s kitchen stools. It was true – Bea was wearing a red top with a sequinned neckline, and a slick of matching lipstick. She’d had her nails done and was wearing black, fitted trousers and red heels.
‘You think?’ Bea said, shifting slightly at the praise. ‘I always feel a bit idiotic with lipstick.’
‘Well, you shouldn’t. It looks great. He’s a lucky guy.’
‘Oh am I?’ said a voice behind her. Jessica turned to see Mark standing there in a blue checked shirt. He grinned at her.
‘Hi, Mark,’ she said. ‘Yes, I think you know you are!’
‘Well, I’ve escaped from twin story-time unscathed, so I suppose that’s pretty lucky!’ he joked.
‘Oi!’ Bea said, chucking a tea towel in his direction. It hit him in the face.
‘Oh, that’s nice, that is,’ he said, chucking it back.
Bea giggled. ‘Idiot.’
‘Right back at you.’
The pair of them grinned at each other and Jessica suddenly felt a combination of jealousy and awkwardness. ‘Anyway, I’ll handle it from here,’ she said. ‘What time’s lights out?’
‘About nine-thirty, but don’t worry if they can’t settle. They’ve been a nightmare recently. Let them play for a bit.’
‘Right-o.’
‘And thanks, Jessica.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ she smiled. In fact, she felt guilty that she hadn’t babysat the twins for a while. She’d used to offer fairly frequently, despite the fact it could be hard work. But recently, Bea hadn’t asked, and she hadn’t offered.
‘And look,’ Bea said as she and Mark put on their coats to leave. ‘How about getting together for a drink later in the week?’
‘Yeah? Sounds good.’
‘Come here – Mark can take the boys bowling so we can talk about wombs and vaginas and ovaries without any of them dying of embarrassment.’
‘Do I get any say in this?’ Mark quipped.
‘Not a bit.’
She watched them walk towards their car, Mark’s hand hovering by the small of Bea’s back protectively, and felt suddenly alone. Bea and Mark had had their ups and downs, and more downs than seemed fair sometimes, but they’d made it through.
What had they got that she hadn’t got?
Letting the curtain fall into place after giving them a final wave, she turned towards the stairs and went up to see the boys.
Chapter Fifty-Two
She knocked on the door and waited for him to answer. She’d checked, so she knew he’d be in this morning; she’d wanted to surprise him.
He answered the door and grinned. ‘Hello, trouble,’ he said. ‘To what do I owe this honour?’
‘I come bearing gifts,’ she said, holding up the small rectangle she’d carried with her. ‘And hopefully you’ve got time for a coffee?’
‘None of that alternative stuff?’
‘No, I’m keeping it real these days; at least when it comes to coffee!’
‘So what’s this for?’ said Stuart as they walked through to the living room and she handed him the package wrapped in silver paper.
‘I suppose it’s a thank you. Or an apology,’ she shrugged.
‘Sounds like you should have got two presents,’ he grinned, tearing off the paper to find the PS4 game he’d been lusting after but had been banned from buying by Erica. ‘Wow, thank you!’ he said. ‘Although you’ll get me in trouble with the Management.’
‘I won’t tell if you won’t.’
‘Ah, Miss Duplicitous strikes again.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Anyway, seriously. Apologising for what?’ he said, as he sank into the sofa, making exactly the same groaning noise their father did, Jessica realised. Josh was there, crashing two cars together with his fists and laughing uproariously. Erica was at her mum’s.
‘Being a crap sister? Being jealous, I suppose? And thanking you for helping out with the whole Dave situation.’ Jessica leaned forward and grabbed her nephew around the waist. He allowed her to lift him onto her lap, and snuggled against her, still clutching the cars.
‘Jealous?’
‘Yeah, you know. You did everything right. You were the one Mum and Dad always favoured. But it wasn’t your fault.’
‘Favoured me?’ Stuart looked genuinely surprised. ‘I always thought you were the one they were proudest of. Oh, Jessica’s business is doing SO well!’ he said, in a voice that sounded too much like their mother’s for comfo
rt. ‘Oh, isn’t Anna a lovely young girl! I don’t know how she does it all by herself. AND her house is always spotless.’
‘You’re kidding, Mum says that? She’s always giving me advice on my love life, or implying that I need to have another baby. And telling me how great you are. And she’s saying that to you?’
He nodded. ‘Do you know,’ he said, ‘when that Henderson bloke won the award …’
‘Hugo?’
‘Yeah, the artist guy. Mum was going to buy a print of that picture of his, and frame it on their living-room wall. Me and Dad had to gang up on her to talk her out of it.’
‘Oh God. Thank you, Stu.’
‘Oh, no worries. Honestly. I did it for me. I’d never be able to eat one of Mum’s muffins again with your, well, you know, staring at me.’
‘Don’t even joke about it.’
‘But don’t you think,’ he said, more earnest now, ‘that she must have been really proud of you to want to display that? To not even think about … all the consequences?’
‘I suppose …’
‘There’s no suppose about it. And you know, when he was in the Guardian on Saturday, she rang us up at six in the morning to tell us.’
‘Oops. Sorry.’
‘Not your fault.’ He grinned. ‘The point is, sis, I think you’ve probably been looking at things from the wrong angle.’
Maybe he was right, she thought as she drove home. Maybe she’d not recognised the good in her own life.
She reflected on the events of the last fortnight. She’d survived her honest blog post … just. It was early days, but after the initial online eruption, the internet had moved on to its next hero and victim.
Other than a couple of smaller clients expressing concern, her agency had remained largely unaffected. While her infamy might have encouraged clients to look her up, it certainly wasn’t a condition of their staying. Besides, Linda at Little Accidents seemed delighted with the coverage they’d received so far. ‘After all,’ Linda had gushed on the phone, ‘there’s no such thing as bad publicity.’
Maybe not, Jessica had thought, but there is such thing as a bad product. She had decided to bite the bullet and part ways with the nappies in disguise, even though her revenue might take a hit.
She’d started to speak to a few fledgling non-fiction writers through MindHack publications and was beginning to look at new ways of promoting them. And Candice’s blog, while only just up and running, would soon get noticed.
She’d even opened a new Twitter and Instagram – ‘Just Jess.’ Today she’d tweeted a positive mantra: Open your heart and the rest will follow. #TrustYourself #BeStill @Jess-BB @DrRobHaydn. She’d tagged Robert in to make sure he saw it, after all, his book had been a big part of her journey.
‘Oh no,’ Bea had said when she’d told her, ‘you’re not starting all over again, are you?’
‘No,’ she’d smiled. ‘I’m hoping just to use them as a normal person, just as myself.’
‘Bit of an oversell, though!’ Bea had replied.
‘What is?’
‘Describing yourself as normal!’
‘Bea!’
When she’d met up with Dave the previous week and told him that things just weren’t going to work out, she’d felt such a sense of relief. As if she could finally relax. He’d taken it well, although had asked whether he could still tag her in some of his Instagram posts.
She still had a couple of sessions booked with Nelly; after all, it wasn’t the gym that had made her unhappy, but the need to sculpt her body into almost impossible perfection. She still wanted to keep as much distance as possible between her arse and the floor.
She pulled up outside the office and saw that Robert’s car was already there, waiting. But before getting out, she checked her mobile phone quickly to see if there were any updates – then froze.
Her mantra, picked up by Robert’s followers, had been retweeted over two thousand times.
Acknowledgements
Thank you to Victoria, Alex and Olivia at Orion for their help and guidance – and for believing in me as a writer. And to my agent Ger Nichol of the Book Bureau for her encouragement and support.
Thanks to Natalie Trice for her PR insight.
Thank you, too, to Ray for putting up with my ups and downs and for being willing to read drafts whenever required. And to Lily, Joe, Tim, Evie and Robbie for only bursting through my office door occasionally when I was scribbling away.
Finally, thanks to Eve, Ema and Judith from my little writers’ group, who lifted me up and kept me writing through difficult times.
Author Biography
Gillian Harvey, 41, lives in France, with her husband Ray and their five children Lily, Joe, Tim, Evie and Robbie. She writes non-fiction articles for UK magazines and newspapers, as well as short stories for several different publications. Everything is Fine is her first novel.
Credits
Gillian Harvey and Orion Fiction would like to thank everyone at Orion who worked on the publication of Everything is Fine in the UK.
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AN ORION EBOOK
First published in Great Britain in 2020 by Orion Books
Ebook first published in 2020 by Orion Books
Copyright © Gillian Harvey 2020
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All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of the publisher, nor to be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
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ISBN: 978 1 4091 9187 2
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Everything is Fine: The funny, feel-good and uplifting page-turner you won't be able to put down! Page 30