by Annie Boone
Matthew smiled.
“It is,” he agreed, putting a hand on her arm. “May I show you inside?”
Eleanor chided herself as the entered the house. She had to be more careful about how she acted.
The inside of the house was even warmer and more welcoming than the outside. The walls were papered in cream paper, with little sprigs of flowers scattered across it. Homemade samplers hung on the walls along with the occasional photograph.
There was also an older woman in the entry hall, wearing a plain but fine shirtwaist and skirt. Looking at her, Eleanor realized she must be Matthew’s mother.
“Miss Eleanor?” she asked, smiling. “I’m Mrs. Connor. It’s lovely to meet you.”
Eleanor shook her hand, more than a little uncomfortable. Just what had Mathew told her? That they were already engaged?
“Wonderful to meet you, too,” she said woodenly.
“I’m afraid my daughters are all out of the house at the moment,” Mrs. Connor said. “My youngest is off helping the oldest with her children. She married and lives in Colorado Springs, now.”
“That’s too bad,” Eleanor said. “Um, that they’re away, not that she got married.” She flushed deeply as she quickly corrected herself.
Mrs. Connor laughed and waved her arm.
“Well, aren’t you charming, indeed.” Coming from anyone else Eleanor would have suspected sarcasm, but the older woman seemed too genuinely amiable for that. “Come along now, into the dining room. We’ve got everything ready.”
Putting her hand on Eleanor’s arm, she pulled her along the hall to a comfortably furnished dining room. The table was already spread out, with three place settings and dishes filled with spring vegetables and roast beef, all set on a pristine white table cloth.
“I’m afraid I can’t return the favor of cooking your supper myself,” Matt said, pulling out the chair for Eleanor to sit down. “I’m not so sure you’d like my cowboy cooking. I always burn the bread.”
“I can second that,” Mrs. Connor said, making a face. “Matt had to cook for me once when I was ill. I think it might have made me worse.”
Eleanor laughed, but the smile quickly faded from her lips. What was she doing here, laughing with the mother of a man she had no intention of marrying? Coming here had been a mistake, no matter what Susannah said about it.
The meal was delicious, but the conversation dragged the mood down. More accurately, the lack of conversation dragged it down. Mrs. Connor made a valiant attempt at keeping things going, asking Eleanor questions and remarking on her answers, but it was difficult to get her to say anything more than a few words at a time.
By the time dessert rolled around, things had sunk into silence. Eleanor ate her cake quickly, barely noting its taste. She just wanted the visit to finish as quickly as possible. Thanking a puzzled and concerned Mrs. Connor for the meal, Eleanor practically ran out to the front porch.
Once out of the house she took a deep breath. Well, that could have gone worse, I suppose. Eleanor thought. There was the quiet sound of footsteps, and Matthew came out onto the porch. He stood there in silence for a moment, watching her with the same puzzled concern his mother had had.
“I was thinking that after we ate, I could show you around the ranch,” he said. “Since you’ve been so curious about how we run things out here.”
“I’d rather not,” Eleanor said quietly, looking at the floor of the porch.
Matthew gave her a piercing look, then sighed. “All right, I’ll ask. Ellie, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I just don’t want to tour the ranch.”
Matthew turned to face her head on, crossing his arms.
“Why did you come to this supper?”
“I wanted to tell you,” Eleanor said quickly, spitting the words out before she could lose her determination, “that I don’t think we should keep seeing each other.”
Matt stared at her, his face expressionless.
“My husband hasn’t even been dead for very long. It’s not right for me to be seeing a man like this so soon. At least not quite yet. And I’ve only gotten into town. I probably won’t be staying here forever.”
He continued to stare in silence, and Eleanor looked down at the porch, too embarrassed and miserable to look at him.
“I assumed you were nervous,” Matt said, his voice a little gruff. “You were quiet as a mouse, last week. You might have just had an attack of nerves, again. Forgive me for being blunt, but Ellie, you’re smarter than this.”
Eleanor looked up at him in shock. What was that supposed to mean?
“I know you must have loved your husband dearly, and your baby, too. But they’ve been dead for more than two years. That’s what you told me. Sitting at home moping isn’t going to make them come back.”
Moping? That’s what her mother had always said. That she did nothing but mope. Now Eleanor was getting angry.
“At some point you’re going to have to start your life again, or else you’ll waste away.” Matthew reached out and took one of her trembling hands. “Let me help you. You don’t have to be alone for the rest of your life.”
Eleanor yanked her hand away from his.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Connor, but I’m sure you don’t need a fat, pathetic wife moping around your ranch. You can do a great deal better than me. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to go home… I mean back to the Jessup place.”
Matthew watched her in silence for a long moment, then sighed.
“As you wish,” he said quietly. “It’s too far to walk, so I’ll drive you back.”
Eleanor almost refused the offer, but he was right. It would have been a long, lonely walk from his ranch house to the Jessup’s. She stood on the porch in silence while Matthew fetched his horse and hitched it up to the gig.
“After you.” He held out a hand to help her up, and Eleanor gritted her teeth. She’d said such rude things to him, and he still acted like a gentlemen. She really didn’t deserve to spend her life with a man as good as that.
Staring miserably at the horse’s back, Eleanor waited out the lonely, silent ride home. Susannah frowned when they arrived, both parties looking rather glum, but she kept her mouth shut. Lucas didn’t look happy, either, and he stepped outside to speak to Matthew as Eleanor fled into the house.
“Ellie, are you all right?” Susannah asked softly. She’d followed Eleanor up to her room, where she had flopped face down on the bed.
“He said I’m stupid and pathetic,” she mumbled into her pillow.
Susannah blinked. “Hmm. I really doubt he said that,” she responded slowly. “You know you tend to see the worst in everything—at least right now. Matthew would never have said something that mean.”
Eleanor rolled over, folding her hands over her stomach.
“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. I already told him I don’t want to see him anymore.”
“Oh, Ellie. Give him another chance. Give yourself another chance,” Susannah said. “You never know, he could be the one who finally makes you happy.”
Little did Susannah know that that was actually the problem.
Chapter Thirteen
Matthew sat in his office the next Sunday morning, more disgruntled than he’d been in years. Eleanor still refused to talk to him. He’d gone to the Jessup’s house twice that week, and both times Eleanor had run right up the stairs into her room. It was frustrating, to say the least.
If it was anyone other than Ellie, he would have given them up as a lost cause. He couldn’t just leave a sweet woman like her to drown in misery. Too many things had happened to her already. Matthew knew she could have a happy life if she’d give herself the chance to live it, and he was determined to stick around and make her.
Matthew glanced at his clock. It was early yet, hardly nine o’clock. Eleanor and the Jessups would be going to church soon. He briefly thought of going, just for the chance of seeing her. She wouldn’t be able to run away from him in a public space.
Probably. She’d definitely know he’d gone there to see her.
Leaning back in his leather chair, Matthew put his feet up on the desk. Of course, it was a free country, and he was a free man. He could go to whatever church he wanted to in the whole state of Colorado. What’s to say he didn’t suddenly take it in his head to go to church? If it just happened to be the same church where Eleanor was, well, that was just a remarkable coincidence.
Matt decisively swung his feet to the floor and stood up. Grabbing his hat and coat, he was out the door in moments.
Chapter Fourteen
Eleanor was surprised to see Matt walk through the church door. He’d never attended since she’d been there, and she’d figured out that he wasn’t particularly religious. She tried not to think about what his reasons for starting to care for church services just now might be. Maybe he was just finally returning to the fold.
Pastor Judd stepped up to the pulpit, and the room grew quiet.
“This morning I wish to speak on a subject important to all of us, throughout our lives,” he said, looking over his congregation. “The importance of marriage and love between husband and wife, and of love and charity in the rest of our lives.”
Eleanor contained a groan. Pastor Judd must be doing this on purpose. Had Susannah gotten to him, too?
“The Bible has a great deal to say on the subject of husband and wife, and the roles each are to take in the family, but today I wish to focus on the importance of love. Without love, the marriage contract is only half fulfilled.”
Pastor Judd looked around the room as he paused. His eyes landed briefly on Eleanor and moved on to someone else.
“Men of all walks of life frequently speak of the benefits of marriage. A woman gains financial support and protection, while a man gains a helper in his life’s labors, and someone to care for his home and children.”
The pastor paused again, giving the crowd another penetrating stare. Thankfully, his watchful gaze skipped over Eleanor this time.
“I believe, however, that one of the most important benefits gained from marriage is the emotional and spiritual support gained from a bond based on mutual respect and affection. Together, a husband and wife are stronger. Together, they can struggle through disasters and losses, tragedies that might destroy one man alone.”
He looked down at the pulpit where he turned a page in his Bible.
“The Bible itself admonishes a man to love his wife. Ephesians 5:25 says Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Man is meant to dedicate himself to the care of his wife and family, just as a woman is meant to support her husband. A heart filled with love and respect makes it a joy to care and provide for your partner, and to raise your children together into young men and women who will go on to marry other young men and women.”
Looking up from his Bible, he smiled crookedly as his eyes made another sweep across the congregation.
“This is not to say that love is easy. Love may take a long time grow. A marriage may be started without love, but it should never be entered into without respect. Mutual respect between husband and wife will inevitably grow into love over time. It is impossible for people who live and struggle together to not grow to love each other, as God intended. Just as God loves his children on Earth, his desire is for us to love each other.”
A few head nods from women and men in the congregation and a bit of noise from the Amen Corner allowed him to continue.
“Marriage is not the only relationship requiring us to show our love. Striving to love a stranger, is complicated. Difficult even. But even the most distant of strangers deserves our compassion…”
Pastor Judd spoke on, but Eleanor was thinking about his words on marriage. It was as though the preacher had set out to pierce her in the heart, reminding her of everything she’d lost and what she could never have again. It was all very well to talk of love between husband and wife, until your husband died.
Her stomach gave an unpleasant lurch as she remembered that Matthew was listening to the same sermon. What in the world was he thinking, right now? Just last week she’d told him she had no intention of marrying him. A new twinge of guilt rose up in the depths of Eleanor’s mind. She had denied Matthew the happiness of married life, too, just by refusing his offer.
Still, Eleanor hurriedly reasoned, he’s never actually been married. He can go on to marry whomever he pleases. He couldn’t have had that much affection for me. He hardly knows me.
The sermon went on while Eleanor was lost in her thoughts. Before she knew it, everyone was standing up, chatting and preparing to head home to their Sunday suppers. As they all filed toward the door, and from the corner of her eye Eleanor saw Matthew closing in.
There was no place to escape to, so she accepted her fate and waited.
Chapter Fifteen
She braced herself, expecting him to say something angry and resentful. But he just nodded his head and smiled.
“How are you this morning, Ellie?”
Eleanor pursed her lips. He still insisted on calling her that.
“Very well, Mr. Connor,” she replied. After that her mouth was closed. If anyone was going to say anything, Matthew was going to do it.
“And how have things been going on the ranch?”
Or Susannah. She was happy to talk, too.
“Pretty well. The main herd’s going to be calving over the next weeks. After that’s over, I’m going to have to go out of town.”
Can’t come soon enough, Eleanor thought.
“Going to buy new stock?” Lucas asked.
“Thinking about it. Got the space and the resources to support more animals,” Matthew said evenly.
Once the whole group had passed through the door, he made to leave them.
“I’ll be seeing you around, Miss Ellie,” he said, tipping his hat even as he put it on his head. Eleanor pointedly ignored him. Untying his horse, Matthew swung into the saddle and trotted away.
“Really, Ellie, you could have at least said goodbye.” Susannah said, putting her hands on her hips.
“I don’t want him to get the wrong idea,” Eleanor said.
“Yes, we wouldn’t want him thinking you’re civil,” Lucas said. Susannah scowled at him, but quietly noticing that he’d become just a little bit interested in how this went between Eleanor and Matthew.
“Just be nice.” Susannah turned back to Eleanor. “I don’t want to see you become bitter.”
“I’m not bitter,” Eleanor said firmly. Just realistic.
Lucas brought the buggy round and the trio drove home, Susannah busily scheming the entire way. She was already concocting a dozen plans to get Matthew and Eleanor in the same place.
Chapter Sixteen
A week later, soon after Matthew had returned from his business trip, Susannah dragged Eleanor into the back garden and gave her a hoe.
“We’re expanding the garden,” she said. “More room for quick-growing crops.”
The kitchen garden wasn’t large, and most of the space had been dedicated to crops with a long growing time, like melons and winter squash. It made sense that Susannah would want to expand. Still, cutting up underbrush wasn’t Eleanor’s favorite way to spend a morning.
The space for the expansion was already free of trees and bushes, but it was full of tall, waving grasses. Susannah and Eleanor had to clear the grass away before they could begin to turn the soil. It was hard, sweaty work, and it took the entire morning for them to clear the forty foot long patch and pile the grass to the side. Eleanor wiped her face with a handkerchief, already dreading the process of breaking up the soil.
While Eleanor was dreading the hours of backbreaking work it would take to break the soil, there was the rattle of a wagon out front.
“Right on time,” Susannah said, wiping the sweat off her hands. Running to the side of the house, she shouted “Come on round back!”
To Eleanor’s dismay, Matthew Connor drove a small cart pas
t the house. A small metal plow lay in the back.
“Matthew loaned us his plow last year to cut up the first garden,” Susannah explained as Matthew hopped to the ground. “I just asked him to help out this time, since Lucas is so busy just now.”
Eleanor sincerely doubted that was her only motivation, but she was too worn out by the morning’s work to argue. Matthew unhitched the horse from the wagon, leading it over to stand by the cleared space.
“Good afternoon, Miss Ellie. Hold this.” Grabbing Eleanor’s hand, he put it on the horse’s halter for her to hold it in place. Eleanor huffed indignantly, watching as he effortlessly pulled the heavy metal plow from the back of the wagon.
“We could do it by hand, but this way we can do it all in one day,” Susannah said, coming to stand next to Eleanor. “It’s much more convenient, and we’ll actually get some planting done sooner rather than later.”
“Very convenient, I’m sure,” Eleanor murmured. Oh, yes, Susannah must have found this arrangement very convenient. For a lot of things.
Matthew set the plow down behind the horse and began hitching it up. Before long, he and his horse were making careful progress up the garden patch, leaving strips of turned sod behind them. Susannah watched for a few minutes, then clapped her hands.
“Well, I’ll just go and make us up some lunch. You stay here, in case Matt needs any help.” With that, she disappeared into the house. Eleanor sighed. Oh, yes. Very convenient, indeed.
Leaning against the tree in silence, she watched Matthew work. By the time Susannah returned with sandwiches and water, he’d already plowed a quarter of the garden. They all paused for a short meal, during which Susannah chattered cheerfully and Eleanor said nothing at all, and Matthew resumed work. Susannah quickly disappeared, finding some other excuse to leave him and Eleanor alone.
She set about cleaning up the house while the other two were out back, taking up the broom to sweep the floors. Susannah was just brushing the dust out the front door when Lucas rode up.