She needed to wake Vivi. After an exhausting day, she would’ve gladly let her sleep. But she needed her awake and fed so she’d be tired enough to sleep well into the morning, because once the clock struck midnight, no food for Vivi. She could have nothing by mouth for surgery. How to explain to an eleven-month-old Mommy can’t feed you because you’re having an operation? You can’t. They’re too young to understand why they’re suddenly going without food.
“Yeah, I’m not going to make it tomorrow. Vivi’s having surgery.” Liam spoke into his phone.
She couldn’t hear the person on the other side of the conversation, and she didn’t care to find out. Whether Mack or Anna, or someone else, nothing mattered but the bundle in her arms. It wasn’t fair. She finally had the means to take care of her, feed and keep a roof over her head and Vivi’s, and tomorrow she could lose her child. Why did life keep handing her a shit sandwich she had no choice to eat?
A plate with a burrito and guacamole on the side appeared in front of her. How long had she been sitting on the couch, staring at nothing?
“I’ll trade you a plate of food for a baby.”
She shook her head and held Vivi’s sleeping form closer.
“You need to eat to keep your strength up,” Liam spoke in the most reasonable voice she’d ever heard.
“I’m not hungry.” She inhaled Vivi’s Baby Magic scent.
“We have a long day tomorrow. Gotta keep our strength up, babe.”
Same reasonable voice with a touch of weariness. He’d been with them every step of the way and she had yet to show an ounce of gratitude. “Have I thanked you for today?” She knew she hadn’t. “I was a bitch, wasn’t I?” Redundant question. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” He stretched out his arms for Vivi.
Sabrina traded her for the plate, and wouldn’t you know, Vivi woke as soon as Liam had her.
“You eat and I’ll give the little lady her lunch.”
“Are you eating?” she asked concerned about him.
“I got something,” he replied. “I’ll eat later.” He set Vivi on her feet and let her get her balance as she clung to his leg. “Eat and I will tell you a secret.”
“What’s the secret?”
He pointed to the plate and waited. Annoyed and intrigued, she picked up the burrito and bit into it. Then waved at him to get the story going.
“I was a fat kid. Got picked on, bullied and all that shit, until my father showed up at school on his hog. He blew into the parking lot, pipes rumbling, dressed in leather, plaid, and his cut.” He chuckled remembering. “Man, birds stopped flying, bees stopped buzzing. I never understood why the club was called Mayhem, because when he showed up, shit stopped. My father was a force of nature, and I was terrified of him.”
“Why?” she asked.
“I saw him kill a man.”
She gasped, and said carefully. “What?”
“I walked into the garage and saw him watching as two Mayhem members strangled a guy. It was his voice that woke me. He was yelling, smoking, had a beer in his hand. He saw me and dragged me out of the room. Ordered me to forget. And I did. Even when a body turned up, and the police came knocking and asking questions, I forgot.”
“How old you were.”
“Seven.”
That young to see something so horrible. She looked at Vivi struggling to take a few steps while holding onto the table and couldn’t imagine her exposed to the violence. Except, what violence would she have been exposed to in her father’s presence? Would she had seen him kill her mother? Possibly.
“Finlay went to jail for something else and I went to my aunt’s house. My mother’s sister took me in. Best five years of my life.” He pointed to her plate. “You’re not eating.”
She shoveled some food into her mouth as he tied a bib around Vivi’s neck. “Why only five years?”
“He got out of jail and I had to go back.”
“Had to?”
“I wanted to…plus, my aunt and uncle couldn’t handle the fallout if they refused to relinquish me.” He got the baby jars out of Vivi’s bag and her rubber spoon.
Fallout? “What would he have done?” she whispered.
“Anything. Everything. I don’t know. I did know they didn’t deserve the trouble headed their way. And, like I said, I wanted to go.”
“Why?” She wanted to understand.
He sat on the floor with Vivi in front of him and fed her equal parts of chicken and peas. “I looked up to him. He was my father. I idolized him. It helped that my aunt and uncle never said a bad word about him. Probably ’cause my mother wasn’t a saint.”
“I’m sorry.” She bit her lip. “Sorry for saying sorry.”
“I didn’t miss her.”
Sabrina had no comeback for that, so she went in a different direction. “Then you joined the military?”
“Yeah.”
His entire vibe changed. The sharing was over.
“What happened to you?” She had to ask.
He lurched to his feet. “Hey, it’s still early. We can watch a movie at my place. Just bring what you need.”
Maybe she should’ve said no, but the last thing she wanted was to be alone. She jumped up, packed baby food, and followed him across the street. They watched three movies, all Marvel, all movies she hadn’t seen. Between each, she fed Vivi, who wasn’t too pleased being woken up and stuffed. With the looming surgery, it was a nice distraction delving into a fantasy world of villains and superheroes, and save the world scenarios. Some if it she could relate to, the villains’ part especially. They came in all shapes and sizes.
Her gaze kept cutting to Liam every time Captain America appeared on the screen. They looked nothing alike, but beneath the skin, the similarities lined up. Cap was honest, brave, uncompromising, a soldier, lived through the horrors of war and still did the right thing. Stupid, so stupid when she had no idea what he did in the military. What she did know for certain was that he was kind. Very, very kind. Just like Cap.
And muscly. Sooo muscly.
Credits rolled and it was after midnight. Vivi was passed out in a spare bedroom and Sabrina had a comfortable spot on the couch, her head resting on Liam’s shoulder. He shifted her so that they were both stretched out on the couch, and not a single protest exited her mouth.
“Once Vivi is well, would you be okay with Anna babysitting?”
She pushed up on her elbow, needing to see his face, not just hear his words. “Yeah, Anna’s great with her. Why?” A bubble of anticipation expanded in her chest.
An easy grin tugged at his lips. “Me. You. Some adult time without the toddler chaperone. How about it?”
She nodded like a damn bobblehead and lay back down next to his side. Stretched out next to him. She had nothing to wear. Her thrift store wardrobe had no hidden treasures. She was a fashion don’t. What am I doing worrying about clothes when Vivi…
“What if…” His thumb trailed down her arm, silently encouraging her to continue. “What if something happens?”
“Nothing is gonna happen, babe.”
“You don’t know that.”
“And you don’t know that something will.”
True. “But…”
“No but. Does Vivi need this operation? Yes. Will it make her healthy and give her the chance to grow up and be all she can be? Yes. Those are the only two questions and answers you need.”
She pushed off from his chest to sit up. He made it seem so cut and dry when it wasn’t for her.
What if… “I didn’t want Vivi,” she whispered. In one smooth move, Liam sat next to her, facing her, though she wouldn’t look at him. Not if she wanted to get this story out. It was her turn to share a secret.
“He got me pregnant because he wanted to tie me to him as a way of controlling me. I knew it. Took me eight weeks to get away from him. Told him I needed clothes, he gave me his credit card and left me alone at the mall. I ran, got away for a week and went
straight for the nearest Planned Parenthood. I got there and he was waiting for me. Never made it through the door.” She heaved a breath. “I survived the beating. After that he kept me under lock and key until he found out it wasn’t a boy. After that he didn’t really care, but it was too late for me to do anything about it… About her. I didn’t want her until I saw her, held her. Isn’t that horrible? It is, right? I’m a shitty mother.”
Slowly, his arms surrounded her, and he pulled her into his body and down to the couch. “You are not a shitty mother.”
“I know it. God knows it.” She pounded her finger into the center of her chest.
“Shh,” he whispered into her hair. “I’m not listening to this bullshit. You are an awesome mom. Vivi knows it, and she’s the only one that counts.”
What he said comforted her. She wanted to believe Liam was right. Really did. “If anything happens to her. Anything… I won’t survive it.”
“Stop. Don’t—”
“I won’t, Liam. I can’t. She’s all I have in the entire world.”
He hooked her chin and lifted it until their gazes locked. “She’s not all you have. You hear me.”
She did, but… “I don’t like depending on people,” she said while in his arms.
“I’m not people.”
She expected him to kiss her. Wanted it. Instead, he did the unexpected and tucked her head against his chest and simply held her, knowing that’s exactly what she needed.
Chapter Eighteen
Two days after the surgery, Vivi was a cranky, crabby, hostile creature that wanted her momma and no one else. By day three she tolerated Liam for short periods of time, twenty minutes or less. Day four and she was back to Vivi, only whining and rubbing her ears every few hours instead of every breathing second.
It was her first day back at work, a Friday, and she had seen Liam once. He’d come into the office, spoke and with Anna, played with Vivi, slid a look her way that had butterflies taking flight in her stomach, or was that indigestion? Hard to tell. She knew he was working late hours, busting his ass finishing up the house for the vet, and taking on new projects.
She found out about him and Snoop getting into it at Mayhem from Mack and Jay. Deep in conversation, they didn’t see her in the office, or didn’t care. What was Liam doing at the club getting into an altercation with Snoop? He wasn’t a member. How did he even get through the doors? She wasn’t sure how she felt about him getting involved with Mayhem, other than being the estranged son of the club president.
Did his involvement bring her closer to discovery by the Black Dragons? Probably. Should she pack up and leave? Probably. Instead, she packed up Vivi with plans to go to the park. It was a short walk, only three blocks away. Vivi needed the fresh air was her excuse, not that she didn’t want to stalk Liam’s party from her bedroom window. A Friday night get-together for the closing of another house, a get-together she was invited to, but wasn’t attending.
She reasoned she had nothing to wear. Literally, it was the absolute truth. No bullshit. She had six shirts, two pairs of mom jeans, and a bunch of skirts, many she’d worn to work. To wear the same clothes to a party—no. She had some pride and gained a bit more every day.
Another peek through the bedroom blinds. The last count, five women came and went from Liam’s house. It started an hour after she got home from work. First Willa arrived and had let herself inside as if it were her home. Then, Sasha parked her Camry at the curb, and waddled up the driveway and into the house. Two more cars arrived carrying three women Sabrina hadn’t met, all three varying shades of blond from platinum to strawberry. Laden with bags, they traipsed into the house shouting greetings to Willa and Sasha.
Sabrina missed that, the comradery of women. Growing up she had friends who were girls, but never had a true girlfriend, a bestie she could hang with, a person who had her back. That didn’t change when she got with Vincent. “The only friend you need is me,” he told her and for a while, she believed that bullshit. It was just another tactic to isolate her and keep her dependent on him for everything. Bastard.
Sabrina strapped Vivi into her stroller, her baby’s legs kicking in excitement. She may have no idea what was happening, but she was just happy something was happening. If only she’d stay this amiable forever.
Diaper bag and purse, Sabrina and baby stepped out the front door. Across the street, laughter seeped from the house, along with the scents of charcoal and meat. Her stomach rumbled, which she ignored. There were plenty of fast-food joints near the park. She’d get something greasy, eventually.
She’d made it all the way to the sidewalk when she spotted Anna’s Volkswagen coasting down the cul-de-sac. Busted! Too late to run back to the house or even hide behind a bush, she waited as Anna came to a stop beside her.
“Where are you going?” Anna asked as soon as her window rolled down.
“Um, to the park a few blocks away.”
Anna looked at her as if she’d lost her mind. “But the party, and the sun’s going down.”
“Yeah, but—”
Anna rolled up her window and cut her engine. She climbed out of the car and circled the front to stand in front of Sabrina. “I know I’m an old busybody, and this is a nice neighborhood, but the park borders the county line, and a young woman with a baby at night… well, it just ain’t safe.”
Before Sabrina could come back with a witty reply or at least something believable, Anna had Vivi in her arms. “Put the stroller back in the house and bring the diaper bag, just in case.” Without another word, she kidnapped Vivi, who seemed quite content in Anna’s arms. Across the street both of them went, leaving Sabrina on the sidewalk to follow.
Fuck!
Begrudgingly, Sabrina did as she was told. The stroller was returned to the porch. She did take a second to brush her hair. Not much point in doing anything else since she had no makeup to apply. With a sigh and a promise to spend an hour and not a minute more, she trudged after her child. If luck was on her side, she’d leave before Liam arrived.
Slipping through the open front door, she hoped to escape notice and blend into the woodwork. No such luck when Anna shouted her name and beckoned her over. She sat on the leather sectional next to Sasha with Vivi sandwiched between them. “This is Crystal, Sasha’s sister. Lori, Sasha’s cousin, and her best friend, Nikki. They’re always ready for a party.” Sabrina caught the backhanded compliment and was surprised when the trio didn’t. Willa did, judging by her snicker, which turned into a prolonged cough.
The trio smiled politely with identical smiles on their faces. Tight blouses, plenty of cleavage, short skirts, and stilettos. Sabrina sat and tucked her scuffed flats under the edge of her peasant skirt. Willa’s phone chirped and she fished it out of her back pocket. “Boys are on the way. Hopefully, some of them will stop at home for a shower.”
“Send Jay that message. That boy has to be told what to do every step of the way, including washing his tush.” Anna sighed and snuggled Vivi.
“I like a little sweat on a man,” Lori said, her voice breathy as if she’d ran a mile.
“A little musk ain’t never hurt nobody.” Crystal crossed her long legs, her black stiletto half on, half off her foot. Her gaze cut to Sabrina and scanned her from head to toe. “So what’s your story, honey? Is it a religious thing or something?”
“Crystal, don’t be a bitch to my co-worker,” Sasha gritted between clenched teeth.
Hand to her chest, flashing her prefect manicure, Crystal shook her head. “That wasn’t me being a bitch. It was just a question to the long skirt and shirt covering every square inch of flesh, except for her arms and head.”
“And her neck,” Nikki added. The scorn on her face plainly visible.
Great way to make her feel like a bug under a microscope. “No. It’s not a religious thing.”
“So you choose to dress like that?” Lori’s voice rose with each word.
Willa popped up from her seat. “I need help outside with the
grill, Sabrina.” Willa didn’t need to ask again. Sabrina hopped up and followed Willa to the back deck. She hadn’t gotten a good look at the outdoor kitchen and backyard when she was last here, and was stunned by the simple beauty. The kitchen was to the left, jutting off the side of the house. Sink, refrigerator, wine fridge, gas grill, plenty of counter space. To the right, a black and tan wicker lounger for multiple bodies to stretch out and relax in front of a fire pit. A three stone pathway lead to a stone and wood gazebo with a built-in fireplace. The dining table seated eight, but the bar seated another five. Warm and inviting, like inside his home, the place said, “Come on in and make yourself comfortable.”
She suspected Willa had a lot to do with the design choices, since she was Liam’s stager, and probably felt a bit proprietary over the house. She was about to compliment Willa’s taste, when Willa said, “Don’t pay those bitches any attention. They feed on backbiting, not meat and potatoes, with gossip for dessert.” Willa opened the hood covering the grill and flipped the steaks.
Sabrina smirked and picked up a silverware caddy and a stack of napkins and finished setting the table. She agreed with Willa but kept it to herself. For all Sabrina knew, the trio and Willa were the best of friends and Willa was just fishing for fodder to use against her later.
“Thanks for doing that. I asked Lori, but she was busy checking her makeup. Need a fresh coat before the men arrive.”
“It’s nothing,” Sabrina murmured. “I consider it earning my meal.”
“You must be fun at restaurants.”
Sabrina hadn’t been to a restaurant in a few years. Vincent went, without her. She was his house mouse. Cook, clean, fuck, that was her purpose. The bastard never even brought home take-out for her, or a doggy bag. And regardless of his restaurant foray, she’d better have dinner ready and waiting, no matter the time he decided to return home.
“Are you always so quiet or you planning a killing spree?”
Plain Jane and the Bad Boy (Plain Jane Series) Page 14