“Good point.” I giggle thinking back to that one-time Astraea and I joined the fucking cheerleading bullshit just to fuck with that bitch, my ‘half-sister’, Brittney.
I start tapping my foot, nervous for what’s about to happen.
“If you stomp a hole in the floor of my car, you and I are going to have problems.”
“Noah, you punched a hole through the back window of my old car that night.”
He has the audacity to grin as he speeds down the street, weaving in and out of traffic like this is some Fast and Furious movie.
“First night and you wound me up so tight,” he says with a smirk.
“No, you kept me panting,” I whisper.
“If you’re looking for a witch to point fingers at then it’s you. You kept me coming for you. You kept me strung up and walking on fucking pins and needles, needing to be close to you, to touch you.”
“You think you were the only one who felt that way?” I demand. “All those texts you’d send me, every time you’d come for me at 3 a.m., every second we spent just driving, going nowhere and then Hell Day… you had me right where you fucking wanted me and then one day you just… Noah, you abandoned me.”
Chapter 26
NOAH
Past
ME: Good news!
Kim Possible: What?
ME: Your freaking eyebrows are growing back. (Astraea told me) Now, send me nudes!
Kim Possible: WTF?
ME: Leave your insecurities in your shitty, poverty-stricken trailer and send me every inch and angle of you for my spank bank shit.
Kim Possible: What am I getting in this? I love to cum too. You know that.
ME: Oh, I know. Let me come over and lick your sweet, tight, little cunt. We can save data if I snap what I need myself. Besides, you wouldn’t be able to get the angle I want.
ME: God, if only your soul was as honest as your laugh…
Kim Possible: Are you here?
ME: It’s 3 a.m.
Kim Possible: Noah… Sexy Fairy, grant me a wish.
ME: You forfeited that right.
Present
Here’s the fucking thing. I’m the asshole who’s prone to self-sabotage and damage, armed with a potty mouth and wit that either make me the smartest in the room or the joker who will fuck it all up if I so decide.
Either way, I’m dangerous and the one person who knows that and sees me as I am, without throwing some fucking Snapchat filter on me just said the words that I never thought she’d say.
“I abandoned you?”
We’re parked right in front of the tattoo parlor I use. It’s private and surprise, surprise, it’s owned by Emmett.
“Did I stutter, Noah?” she demands, looking straight at me, slicing me open seven ways to oblivion. “You left me! I came to you that night, I begged you to listen to me and you… you left me in the cold just like that.”
It’s the way her voice cracks when she says those words that fucks me up.
“What the hell did you want me to do?”
“I wanted you to stop and listen, but you didn’t, and now, years later, you’re still punishing me for all this.”
“That’s because you can’t unburn a house, Kim!” I snap, looking at this stunning, deadly liar who’s fucked me up so thoroughly, I have no idea what to do with myself. “You can’t unruin someone. Once it happens, that’s it. You can’t take it back.”
“You think I don’t know that!” she cries, holding my gaze. “Do you think I just wake up and choose ruin, Noah? Do you think I like this… this misery and heartache? Do you think it’s easy for me to look at you and see that look in your eyes that screams HATE directed at me?”
Fuck.
“Is it pity that you’re fishing for, Kimmy?” I whisper, my voice low and deadly. “Do you want me to feel sorry for you?”
“I don’t give a damn about your pity and frankly, you can shove it up your fucking ass along with that rage!” she snaps. “Because guess what, Noah? You were already ruined when I met you.”
“Maybe, but you made me fucking burn, Kimberly!” I roar.
Her sharp gasp and the way her beautiful face pales as she looks at me will always been ingrained on my fucking brain. Because I did what I told myself I wouldn’t do; bare my fucking soul to her.
“What?” she whispers.
“You set me on fire,” I mutter, watching her. “That first look, that stalkerish meet in a cold, misty place full of dead people, your bluntness and then everything that happened after that night, it set me on fire for you!”
We talked every single day.
We did shit together that we never talked about with anyone.
Hell, I thought we were friends, and well on our way to an intense fucking ride that would last us until forever.
“You know, at first I fucking loved it,” I mutter as I hear my own heart pound in the silence of my car.
Fuck, I really did love the way she made me feel.
I couldn’t sleep without calling her just to hear her voice. All our texts. The 3 a.m. drives she just mentioned as we drove to nowhere at all, trying to run away from our demons, chasing a high we could only get while we were together. All the wild shit we did, I loved it.
“At first?” she mutters, a lone tear rolling down her face. “What does that mean?”
“You already know what it means,” I grit out. “The burn was amazing but then the truth came out and you turned out to be nothing like you made me believe you were, so guess fucking what? The fire turned into a fucking inferno.”
That’s a mild way of describing it.
It’s been a mixture of horse shit and maybe some bullshit piled on top of my head.
I mean, I was already getting shit before fate decided to be the biggest asshole and flip me the finger by bringing this sexy, hellfire beauty into my life; but my spectacular downfall came when I had my guard down—and that never happens, not with my one-of-a-kind, fucking experience of growing up in Westbrook Blues—and that was only when I was with her.
“So what does that mean, Noah?” she whispers softly, her voice low, breathy and full of emotion. “You’re going to treat me like a villain, hate me forever for what I did? Because of the cursed blood that runs in my veins?”
My jaw locks, the veins in my fucking body burning with the rush of blood.
“Do you think I don’t hate myself, Noah? I mean you saw that in me that first night. Do you think I didn’t also want to be born into a better family where a mother is loving to her children and a father protects and uplifts his daughters not beat them down literally and figuratively. Use them. Abuse them. Threaten them?”
“Kim—”
“Do you think I wanted to be the product of a vicious rape?” she demands, stepping closer to me. “Do you think I first came to this town because I wanted to, Noah?”
“You made a choice—”
“I made a choice to protect my sisters because no one protected me!” she shouts, tears welling up in her eyes, the unbridled anguish doing what it’s always done: it triggers mine. “No one protected me, you fucking asshole, and you think I’ll let that happen to my sisters as well?”
I don’t know why each word she utters is like she’s stabbing me with a fucking dagger straight to the fucking heart.
Each pained inflection of her voice, the ghosts of her traumatic past dancing in her unshed tears… it’s all too much.
“Stop.”
“No, I sat here, listening to you as you hurt me with your words because you know how I feel about you,” she snaps. “You and only you are the only fucking person in this world that knows me, but you hate me because of the decisions I was forced to make. Decisions that in turn hurt your friends, is that right?”
I turn away, looking out the window, feeling like I’m stuck in my seat, unable to get out but not wanting to leave her at the same time. Not with the big A word hanging over us in the car.
Lightning streaks across the sky. It’s
going to rain I think, but I don’t give a shit. All my attention, all my focus, is on her.
“Do you think there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t live in fear that one day the ones I love most will be snatched from me? And now, just when I thought we’re going to be all right, you turn around and dangle my past in my face.”
For fuck’s sake.
“Do you think I’m this livid with you because of the lies you told to Astraea and the rest of the boys?” I snap, unable to stop myself. “Kimberly, do you think I hate you because of what that son of a bitch made you do? Seriously?”
“What else am I supposed to think?” she snaps right back. After all, she isn’t the type to just lie there—or stand there for that matter—and take anyone’s bullshit. The truth is, she’s my undoing. A hellish reckoning with stormy eyes. “What else am I supposed to think when you look at me like that?”
“You’re supposed to think of the way you lied to me when you said you’d never tell me a lie, ever!”
“Noah—”
“You, Kim Possible, you were supposed to think of the promises you made me, every secret I ever shared with you, every piece of information I ever showed you because, baby, in all my fucking life, I never let anyone in, except for you!”
Tears start falling down her cheeks like a rush of torrent water. It’s not gentle, it’s not cute, it’s guilt and I want more.
I want more of her tears, more of her pain, more of the same twisted, fucked up emotions I feel inside displayed on her face because then and only then, that’s when I’ll know she feels the same way; because with her, the poker face she wears is as indestructible as her strength to carry on.
“See, I let you in,” I whisper hoarsely, swallowing the space between us so I can hold the side of her face in my palm. God, she’s so fucking beautiful, I can’t take it sometimes. Her stormy eyes, the way she sees me, the way she just gets it. It’s messed up that she doesn’t get this. “I let you in and then you managed to do what no one in this world has ever done, Butterfly. You broke me.”
See, a better man who’s more forgiving, more of a gentleman who gives a shit about her pain, that man would wipe these tears away.
A better man would wrap her in his arms and comfort her, soothing away the hurt but I’m not that man. I’ve never been that much of a phony asshole, so I let her cry.
I want her to cry.
I want more of her tears, but I can’t stop divulging the contents of my soul.
“You broke me,” I whisper, my voice raw and dark.
“No, Noah. I never meant to—”
“You slithered your way into my soul. You saw everything in me. I gave you everything I had to give. You saw the worst parts I’ve never shown anyone—they all guess—but you saw it all.” She did, I can see the knowledge in her eyes.
“You allowed me to see all that,” Kim whispers, her sweet minty breath washing over my face even as her wild berry scent and something that’s all her, permeates the space between us.
“I allowed you to see because I thought that was my way in with you.”
And there it is.
The raw truth I’ve never admitted before.
“You’ve always had your walls up and I thought, if I opened up, if I let you in maybe you would too,” I confess, my throat working to swallow the fucking barbed wire that I shoved down my own throat. “But now I know better. You were never going to be open with me. You were never going to let me in.”
“I was—”
“A 3 a.m. mistake I made in the middle of a cemetery.”
“Well then,” she whispers, pulling back from me. “And they say you’re now a liar.”
“I could never best you at a game you’ve been playing all your life. At least I still have that,” I say pulling her face back to me. “But I never lied when I said I wanted you.”
“Let me go,” she whispers, tears welling up in her stunning eyes.
“Don’t you think I haven’t tried that?” I grit out, unable to stop myself from running my thumb over her puckered, plump lips that are just begging to be kissed, bitten and wrapped around my hard cock. I desperately want to have a taste of her… “I’ve tried letting you go. I’ve tried forgetting you but fuck me, I can’t shake this fucking hold you have on me.”
“You’re the one who has a hold on me, damn you.”
Fuck!
The way she tilts her chin is almost defiant, almost pleased that I admitted this to her. Sometimes I swear Kimberly’s only mission in life is to challenge my dominance, but fuck me, when she submits, when she does what she’s told… how can I not want more? I want to fist her sleek hair in my hand, take her mouth and…
I wrap my arms around her and before she even knows what’s happening, she’s on my lap, straddling me as her fucking short skirt rides up to her thighs.
I grab a fistful of her ass as I adjust my seat so I can look up at her, fucking glad that I took this car today, and then I grind my hard cock into her tight little pussy through my jeans.
“Do you feel that?” I demand. “Do you feel how fucking hard I am for you?”
The truth is, I’ve been hard since I watched her school my father, giving him the fucking business without batting an eyelash.
But the moment he grabbed her arm like that, I lost it; and now, here she is, in my fucking lap. I can’t fight this wild attraction I have for her.
Her mere existence is a provocation. But then she looks down at me, and I just lose it.
I don’t know who moves first but the next thing I know, our mouths slide over each other as she grabs hold of my hair like an anchor, grips it tight and grinds over my cock while biting my lip.
Jesus.
The way she kisses me, as if she owns me, it drives me crazy. I want to unzip my fucking jeans and slip in to the hilt and fuck her raw.
But I don’t have time for that, but she has other plans, grinding over me, strumming a. fucking groan out of me.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I grit out, gripping the back of her neck. “The face of my undoing.”
“You unravel me, Noah,” she purrs, staring right into my eyes, her lips so fucking tempting right now, there’s only one place I want them.
“You’re going to make me come,” I say shifting her back to the passenger seat. “You’re going to suck my cock, Butterfly.”
I can see the lust raging in her eyes as she looks up at me. I’d best my last fucking dollar that she’s fucking wet and to prove it, she quickly starts undoing my jeans with frantic, hurried movements.
“Commando,” she whispers darkly.
“Always.”
“I’ve been dying to see how your pierced cock will feel and taste on my tongue.”
Jesus Christ, Mary and that dude, Joseph.
“I want you,” she whispers breath;essly.
“These lips… I want to fuck them.” Boldly cupping my fucking hard cock in her soft grip, I hiss. “Stop fucking playing with me.”
“If you think I won’t have my fun first so I make you come hard for me, Noah, then I think I have to re-introduce myself.”
And with, she starts licking the head of my cock, lapping up the pre-cum like she’s enjoying a fucking lollipop.
I fist her hair as tension coiling inside me, ready to burst. I’m not concerned about gripping it too tight because fuck, I know my girl.
She likes it rough, dirty and fucking hot… especially when she’s fighting her demons like we’re both trying to do right now.
“Kimberly,” I growl.
She looks up at me and winks, then like the vixen she is, she takes me in all the way…
“Fuck.”
I lose control then. The thin cloak of gentlemanly behavior I was trying to hold on to slips, revealing the barely suppressed hunger I’ve been fighting since that night I last had her, milking my dick and she moaned my name in the middle of fucking nowhere.
I hold her head still, fucking her beautiful mouth, loving the way
she moans, her ass perked up in the air. I can’t help but reach forward and slap it… sure as fuck that she’s wet and ready.
It’s as if I’m straining for something, fighting against the chains she has around me, but also wanting to bind her to me in a way that’s fucking irreversible.
I feel her finger nails gripping my thighs like a vice, but the pain is nothing.
“Yeah, look at me as I take this lying mouth,” I hiss. “There’ll never be a day that you’ll lie to me, ever again.”
She moans around my dick, the sound powerfully erotic. I don’t stop or relent as I fuck her mouth, wanting to come and send her a message as well.
“Just like that, Kimmy,” I groan. feeling possessed by her stormy gaze, her pupils dilated. I can see her reach back, as if wanting to touch herself, but just one look from me and she stops. Good girl.
“If you can’t take it anymore, if you can’t take me, then fucking tap out,” I taunt, dangling our bet over her. “But judging by the way you’re sucking my cock, the way that sweet, tight cunt is clenching, ready to orgasm without me even touching you there, I guess you’re not going anywhere, are you, Kimmy?”
She moans so loud, it slithers in my soul like a sweet melody only she can create. The she sucks as I thrust and I swear, I see fucking Heaven in that damn car as a powerful orgasm tears through my damn soul.
“Kimmy.”
Her name, her face, her taste, her lips… her. It’s all about her.
“Swallow it all.” I can’t help but reach over and under her skirt, my fingers itching and desperate to touch her, to make her come.
“Oh,” she gasps as I slip a finger in, my thumb rubbing circles over her clit, the rings on my fingers heightening the feeling—this is why she goes fucking crazy when I finger her. I slip another finger in her sleek, wet pussy, feeling the way she’s clenching down, ready to come. “Noah.”
“Yeah, say my fucking name, Butterfly,” I whisper, adding another finger in her, beginning to thrust fast and hard. Then I add another one, giving her a full fucking feeling.
Petty Rage: Westbrook Blues Book 4 Page 31