His plan had been to stick it out until the bikers attacked, defeat the bikers, and then get to Helen Falls to take advantage of whatever supplies the bikers might have had there. Then come up with something further after that. The lack of any attack was pulling the rug right out from under his feet, though, and Garrett was starting to feel… well, desperate.
Even worse, he seemed to be the only one really taking anything that seriously. Of course Alice was concerned, and Manny and Ben were smart enough to know that things weren’t going the way they were supposed to. Julia was on Garrett’s team, as was Greyson, but that didn’t mean the rest of the town really were. And the rest of the people… were treating this as if it was some sort of holiday. It felt as if they’d forgotten their plans to escape, and the drama of Cora and John’s betrayal, and had gone back to life as usual.
There, right in front of him, Bubba and Kristy were discussing their plans for the day. A birthday picnic and a party for Ben, evidently.
“How do you even know it’s his birthday?” Garrett asked, trying to involve himself in the conversation.
Kristy shrugged. “He said he’s a Scorpio, and we just celebrated Halloween,” she said, making it seem like the simplest thing in the world.
Garrett shook his head. He hadn’t known what day it actually was for months, and he was sure that no one else did, either. But the people were so intent on celebrating something that they were just grabbing at anything they could think of, now.
He knew that Ben wasn’t involved in this, either. Hell, the man had told Garrett just that morning that he was thinking of taking a hunting party out into the desert to see if they could shore up the rapidly dwindling supply room. Garrett felt anxious to get out of town, and Ben was right there with him. Celebrating his birthday hadn’t seemed like it was anywhere on the list of things he wanted to do that week.
It was the people, though. They had grown complacent. Comfortable.
It wasn’t that they didn’t know, either; all of them had access to the schoolhouse and the supply room. They’d all seen how little water was left, and how sparse the food offerings were becoming. They all knew the situation. Or at least they had the information there if they wanted to consider it. The thing was, Garrett was starting to think that they didn’t. It was human nature to want to avoid unpleasant circumstances, situations, and conversations, and maybe that made this logical—this need to pretend that everything was fine. That even in the midst of this incredibly screwed-up, hopeless situation, they should take some time out and hold a birthday party.
Maybe it was them just trying to keep their chins up, keep a little positivity in their world. But Garrett didn’t think so.
No, he thought it was probably the very definition of denial. Either that or they were just burned out on all the anxiety and danger, and couldn’t maintain that sort of focus anymore.
Regardless of which of those it was, it confirmed one idea in his head: that he had to maintain his own focus, so that he could protect them when and if it was necessary. They could take time off from reality; he didn’t have that freedom.
But he needed to do something, or he was going to go crazy. He’d never been good at standing around doing nothing. And though he was having trouble maintaining the intensity he thought the situation called for, he thought it would be a whole lot easier if he actually had something to do.
Turning, he started walking toward Alice’s house, his mind roving through the possibilities. Going to another town was out. Trying to find another vehicle was a no-go, too, as they’d combed through all the towns in the area when he and his group first arrived, looking for cars and trucks that were old enough to have survived the EMP. Going out into the desert for Ben’s hunting party was an option, but Garrett had never been much of a hunter.
And that left… What?
“More defenses,” he said to himself. It was the only option available to him. And though it was a passive action, and therefore rubbed him the wrong way, he didn’t see that he really had much choice.
Besides, Garrett hadn’t changed his mind about one thing: the Helen Falls gang was going to attack. It was only a matter of time. And the readier the town of Trinity Ranch was when it happened, the better their chances of success in that fight. If they succeeded there, they’d have access to whatever supplies the bikers had gathered, and their problems would be solved. For at least a short time.
If nothing else, it would give them some time to figure out their next move.
Turning at the corner, he increased his pace, his eyes already set on the small two-story that Alice had chosen for herself.
“More fences?” Alice asked, surprised and not bothering to hide it. “You want more defenses than what we’ve already got?”
Garrett nodded. “We can never be too protected. We know they’re coming. We have to make sure we can defeat them when they get here.”
She gave him a long, searching look, her lips pursed. “What’s this really about, Garrett?” she finally asked. “Is it that the people are upset that you let that prisoner go? You think they’re starting to question you again?”
He held out for a moment, but then breathed out, letting himself unwind a bit. “The waiting is driving me crazy, and I want something to do,” he admitted. “I figure a fence is as good as anything.”
“You know no one’s going to want to do any more building, right?” Alice said. “They were excited about it at first, but now they’re bored and they’re doing other things.”
“Which is a mistake,” he observed. “That attack is going to come. And if we let it take us by surprise—”
“You know that,” she interrupted. “And I know that. Ben knows it, and Greyson, and Manny. Elisa and Julia would probably even admit to it. But that doesn’t mean the rest of the townspeople want to hear anything about it. You know…” She gave him a quick, sly grin. “Short attention spans and all that.”
She reached out and took his hand. “That’s why they need you. Why they need us. To think of the things they don’t want to think about. Now come on.” She started walking toward the door, dragging him after her. “I hear there’s a party tonight, and it won’t go down well if you don’t show up. You might not be the guest of honor, but you’re still one of the more important guys in town.”
Laughing, though not feeling much better, Garrett allowed himself to be dragged along, his mind still going through the list of things he wanted to see done to their defenses the next day.
Though Ben hadn’t been keen on the idea of a party, he had given the rest of the crowd permission to have it at his house, and by the time Alice and Garrett arrived the festivities were in full swing. Someone had dragged an old piano into the main room and Kristy was playing what sounded like ragtime tunes, while several people were dancing in the cleared-out area. A long table held an assortment of alcoholic beverages—the one thing the town had in spades, since it didn’t count as an everyday supply, and was only useful in certain situations. The only party food seemed to be apples, which were sitting in bowls around the room. Garrett appreciated that, realizing that whoever had done the planning here had actually thought about the fact that supplies were running low while the apple trees in the orchard suddenly seemed to be overproducing fruit.
The entire room was lit with candle after candle, giving the place a wavering, romantic sort of light, and someone had even found a piñata to hang in the corner. Garrett wondered if that was decoration, or if they had actually found something to put inside it.
The conversation dropped when Garrett and Alice walked in, as everyone turned to look at them. Garrett paused in the doorway, self-conscious and wondering why everyone was staring at him, but a moment later the sound picked up again and people went back to their partying.
“Drink?” Julia asked, coming up to them with a cup in her hand.
Garrett shook his head. “Nothing for me, thanks. Maybe Alice wants something.”
Alice pressed her lips together, then no
dded once. “Scotch, neat,” she said. “Two fingers.” When she noticed Garrett’s look, she shrugged. “In my life before, I loved Scotch. Had a favorite sort and everything.”
He nodded. “My favorite was Glenfiddich,” he answered. “Though I never drank it with other people. Always thought it was a drink better enjoyed on your own, in a quiet room. Preferably one that wasn’t very well lit.”
He ducked down, somewhat embarrassed at having shared so much, but Alice’s laughter rang through the room—shockingly bright in the flickering candlelight. Garrett thought it was the first time he’d heard her laugh, and glanced up at her, surprised. Even the thought of alcohol seemed to have loosened her up a bit.
“You’re right about that,” she replied. “It’s the sort of drink that deserves your focus. Your attention. Having so many other people around…” She waved her hand, taking in the crowd. “Kills the expectation. The appreciation.” She shrugged and gave him another half-grin. “But this is the situation in which we find ourselves. I think we’re both getting pretty good at making the best of a bad situation, right?”
Julia reappeared at that moment with Alice’s drink, handing her a small glass with two thumbs’ worth of amber liquid at the bottom.
“Plenty more where that came from,” she said cheerily. “You have some catching up to do.”
Looking around, Garrett realized that there was something he hadn’t noticed the first time he looked at the crowd: everyone looked like they’d already had three or four drinks. Many of the faces were downright ruddy, and several people were swaying on their feet, talking with their hands and allowing their voices to grow too loud. Yes, there had been quite a bit of drinking going on before he and Alice arrived.
And for that, he couldn’t blame them. Drinking allowed you to forget, and there was an awful lot about the current world that encouraged forgetting.
“Drunk, most of them,” Alice murmured. She tipped the glass to her lips and took a dainty sip, closing her eyes and holding it in her mouth for a moment before swallowing.
Then she gave him a glance out of the corner of her eye, accompanied by a lift of the eyebrow.
“That’s not Scotch,” she said wryly. “That’s whiskey. And not even good whiskey. I’m guessing Johnny Walker, and it ain’t Black Label.”
Garrett burst out laughing at that, his belly shaking with mirth.
“In that case I’m glad I took a pass,” he said.
Alice tipped her head from side to side in a gesture that said it wasn’t the worst thing she’d ever tasted—but it also wasn’t the best. “It’s better than nothing, I suppose,” she observed. “It’ll accomplish the same thing, at the end of the day.”
Garrett was about to say that it would probably also accomplish a bigger headache the next morning when someone lurched into him from the left, knocking him into Alice and sending the remains of her drink flying into the wall.
“Hey!” Alice shouted.
Garrett turned, ready to lay into whoever had run into him, but stopped when he saw that it was Steve. And that he was definitely more than three drinks in.
“Why if it ain’t Garrett,” Steve said, slurring his words. “Our glorioush leader!” He slapped a hand down on Garrett’s shoulder and guffawed. “Leasht that’s what I hear. Glorioush. Just don’t seem so glorioush to be lettin’ traitors go unpunished, though, do it?” He ducked down and peered into Garrett’s eyes, doing his best to keep his own eyes from crossing.
Garrett took a step back—both because of the alcohol fumes coming off Steve and to give himself some room, in case this came to blows. He didn’t think Steve would stand up to one punch, honestly, but he also knew he would be smarter to get out of this without allowing any physical trouble.
“No one could have proven that he was a traitor, Steve,” he said. “We can’t just go around shooting anyone we don’t like.”
“Don’t see why not,” Steve said. He threw his arms out grandly, splashing whatever he’d had in his cup across the people to his right.
“Because that would make us just as bad as those bikers,” Garrett answered, knowing as he said it that logic wasn’t going to make any difference to Steve when he was this drunk. Not that it ever did.
Steve suddenly rushed at Garrett, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pushing him up against the wall. “You sayin’ that’s a bad thing?” he hissed, his speech suddenly clear and malevolent. “You sayin’ I would have been wrong to take care of this town, take care of the people?”
Behind Steve, Garrett could see some of his friends—Alan, Scott and the rest—cheering Steve on. Laughing at his antics. Agreeing with everything he said. And looking around, he could see that they weren’t the only ones. Other people had questions written on their faces, too. Questions about Garrett’s leadership, about the decisions he’d made.
They may have voted to let him maintain his leadership, but that didn’t mean they actually trusted him. And suddenly it was all too much. All the work, for nothing. All the responsibility, just to come up against people who didn’t appreciate him. Didn’t even like him, most of the time. All the questions. All the anxiety.
For what? So people could doubt him? Pretend that nothing was wrong, and watch Steve heckling him like this?
He turned back to Steve, allowing all his frustration to bleed into his gaze.
“You know what?” he hissed. “You think you’d be such a great leader? I’d like to see you try it. If that’s what you want, if that’s what everyone wants, then go ahead. Be my guest. I’ll gladly hand all that responsibility over to you. Because I’ll tell you what, Steve. I’ve had enough.”
He turned and stormed out of the house, not caring who had heard him or what their reactions were. Not caring whether he was doing the best thing for the town or the people who lived there. Knowing only that for the first time in what felt like years, it wasn’t his job to make any further decisions.
When he got into the front yard, he found that someone had lit the fire pit, though it was deserted. He dropped into one of the seats next to it and stared moodily into the fire, questioning everything. Hating the situation. Hating that he’d done what he did—and at the same time, wondering if it was actually the best thing for the town, and the people.
A moment later, Alice appeared out of the dark, melting into the firelight like she’d been born from the night. She took a seat next to him and reached out to lay her hand on his arm.
“You know they’re just drunk,” she said. “None of them meant for that to happen.”
He didn’t bother to look up at her. “And what if it’s for the best? What if it’s actually better for the entire town if I step down, let someone else take a shot? It’s not like I’ve done anything all that great, anyhow. Raids to find food and water. Hell, anyone can do that. But the decision to take the tanker? Then the decision to fool the bikers when we went to give it back?” He paused, letting himself feel the pain of what had happened that day. “All I did was lose Riley and Bart. Maybe even get them killed. What sort of leader does that?”
“A leader who’s willing to take chances,” she said, moving her hand to take his and squeezing. “A leader who can see the bigger picture, see how important it was for us to stand up to those bikers rather than backing down. You said that if we gave into them, they’d never stop bullying us, and you were right! You said that we could be brave, when none of the other people thought that, and you were right then, too! You were right to let Lance go, though no one will tell you that. It was the moral thing to do. The right thing to do. You’re exactly the leader this community needs. You’ve got the bravery for it. The brain for it. The heart for it.”
Her voice softened, and she swallowed before continuing. “Hell, you care more than five other men put together, your heart is so big, and everyone in this town knows it. You’re the one we can all count on, Garrett. And don’t you forget it.”
Her voice died away on the last note, and Garrett stared at her, hardly
daring to breathe. The things she’d said… Well, whether the whole town thought them or not, he suddenly realized that Alice thought them. And though he’d known it before, something about hearing her actually say it changed things.
A warmth was growing in his belly that would have rivaled five Scotches, and his fingers were twitching with the need to reach out and touch Alice’s face. Did she really think so much of him? Was that really how she saw him?
“I’ll always have your back, Garrett,” she finished on a whisper. “I can promise you that much.”
He didn’t think any further. Looking deeply into her eyes, he began to lean forward, his hand going up to her cheek and cupping her jaw. He hadn’t known it until right now, but everything in his body was screaming for this to happen, and if she truly felt that way about him…
To his shock, Alice yanked herself back, throwing herself up onto her feet.
“I’m going to go home,” she said shakily. “Get some sleep. We all need to be well-rested tomorrow. Never know what’s going to happen.”
And she turned and almost ran the other way, leaving Garrett sitting in the firelight, staring after her in shock, confusion, and something that felt disturbingly like hurt.
Chapter 9
When he woke up the next morning, it was to someone banging on his front door. Garrett cast his gaze toward the window, wondering what time it was, and saw that the sun was barely over the horizon. Early, then. Way too early for anyone to need him. Particularly after everything that had happened last night.
At Any Cost (Book 3): Bleak Horizons Page 6