Blackbeard put a hand on Bill’s shoulder. “Great question, Bill. I’ve wondered that too, and it’s a risk we have to take. It’s the price we have to pay for freedom. Right, boys?”
“Aye!” they chanted.
“Now, there’s no time to lose. If we’re lucky, maybe we can find her before the children get to school. Rex and Baldy, stay here and tend to the kids. I’ll have Bill come back and get you when it’s time.”
“The rest of you, swords in.”
The pirates who had swords drew them and held them out over the campfire so that they all touched in the middle. The fire reflected on them, and despite being terrified, I had to admit that it looked really, really cool. All at once, the pirates chanted:
We are the scourge of the seven seas.
We are the terror of the West Indies.
We are the storm, the lightning, the thunder.
We’re Blackbeard’s men, let’s tear the world asunder!
They all raised their swords and let loose a hideous scream.
“Onward, lads! And let’s get back into character. We’ll practice as we go. Bill, start us out!”
“Yarr, ye’ll be walkin’ the plank in no time, ya lily-livered fools!”
The pirates then started their march through the forest to our school, saying dumb pirate catchphrases the whole way.
The two leftover pirates turned to Wiki and Brady.
“Those ropes tight enough for ya there?” Baldy asked. (He had to be Baldy. Dude had zero hair.) Brady growled at him. “Good.”
Rex, a big pirate who looked oddly sweet, sat in front of them. “We’ll be spending quite a while together, so I thought maybe you could answer me a few questions.”
Wiki nodded awkwardly. “Um…sure?”
“Excellent. Now, for starters, Blackbeard mentioned something called the internet. What exactly is that?”
Wiki groaned. “Do you understand the basic concept of a computer?”
“Nope.”
“How about electricity—did Blackbeard explain electricity yet?”
“Nope.”
“Okay, but you understand what a basic machine is, right?”
“Machine?”
Wiki groaned even more loudly. “This is going to be a long night.”
33
Ugh. I took a few steps back and punched a tree in frustration. Ow.
“Have a seat, Javi. There’s no need to lose hope,” Aunt Nancy said.
I sat down and looked at her. “Okay, let’s review the situation. My best friend and my sister are tied up, and it’s just a matter of time until they’re skewered by pirates. It’s all my fault because I couldn’t keep my stupid mouth shut. And how am I helping? I’m talking to Wiki’s aunt, who might be a forest witch with actual superpowers—so clearly I’ve lost my mind. Now am I allowed to lose hope?”
“Not yet,” Aunt Nancy laughed.
“Okay, then let’s not forget that it’s me who has to save them. Not Wiki, the brains. Not Brady, the muscle. Javi, the stomach. The hungry dummy who just kind of hangs out with them and cooks tostones. Now I’ve definitely lost hope.”
Aunt Nancy stood up and walked a slow circle around me, studying me like she was a lion. (Probably a nice, vegetarian one.)
“Now, I agree that Wiki’s the brains and Brady’s the brawn, but do you not realize your role in the trio? It might be the most important of all.”
I scratched my head. “I guess I make a mean triple-decker peanut butter, banana, and sauerkraut sandwich. Is that important?”
Aunt Nancy laughed and shook her head. “Who solved the mystery of the school? Whose curiosity led to the truth about Finistere’s teachers? And who came up with the plan to solve that mystery?”
I thought about it. “I guess I did?”
“Yes, you did. Because you are…” she looked at me expectantly.
“…a B+ chef!”
“…an artist, Javi. You’re creative. Insightful. You like to make beautiful, delicious things, and you have a very different way of looking at the world. You’re much smarter than you realize, it’s just a different kind of intelligence than Wiki has. Personally, I think you’re the one who actually woke up Andy. He’s taken quite a liking to you.”
“You don’t know that. You haven’t even met Andy.”
Aunt Nancy stood up and patted the tree behind her. “Javi, I’ve known Brocéliandus for a very long time. A very, very long time. Remember when he purred at me that night I stopped by?”
“Oh yeah! I thought that was weird. So are you a wizard or something? Did you make Andy out of the tree? And why do you make that colossal crashing sound when you disappear into the forest?”
“Perhaps we should tell stories later. Your two friends are waiting for you to save them. And they trust that you can do it. As do I.”
I looked back into the clearing. Baldy was sharpening his sword with a rock and glaring at them while Rex sat in front of Wiki, learning about the internet as he played with his sword.
“Can you help me?”
Aunt Nancy shook her head. “I’ll leave it to you to save your friends. I have complete faith in you, Javi. Now, time for that mysterious crashing noise.” She winked.
In the blink of an eye Aunt Nancy disappeared into the shadows and then there was that sound, like a tank trampling through the trees.
I turned back to the pirate camp, stood as tall and threateningly as I could, gathered up all my bravery, and walked right into the clearing.
Brady and Wiki looked over, and their jaws dropped at the exact same time. The pirates looked over, and Baldy got a huge smile on his face.
“That’s the third one! Waltzed right into our camp. We’ll be heroes!”
“Stop,” I said in my loudest, most intimidating voice (which wasn’t super intimidating, to be perfectly honest). “Untie my friends or you will suffer the wrath of Javi, the greatest wizard in the land.”
Rex looked a little nervous, but Baldy just laughed.
“Great wizard, eh? Well, show us one of your magic tricks.”
“You…uh, you don’t want to see my magic—it’s too dangerous.” Uh-oh, I really should’ve thought this through before I decided to do a standoff. “If I snap my fingers, something…something super deadly will happen.”
Rex looked afraid. Baldy laughed harder. “Oh yeah? Snap those fingers, boy. Snap ’em. I dare ya.”
I raised my hand, fingers ready to snap. “You have until the count of three to run before I snap.” I tried to look serious and threatening. I’m guessing I looked the opposite. “One…” Rex stood up just in case I was serious. Baldy crossed his arms against his chest and stood firm. “Two…” Rex started backing away slowly. Baldy just smiled wickedly and shook his head. “Two and a half…” Okay, what was I going to do now? What could I do but—“Three!” SNAP.
Rex and Baldy’s eyes both went wide and Rex screamed, “Run!” Baldy fell on his butt, then scrambled to his feet and ran away at full speed, Rex following him.
“That’s right! Run away! Ha!” Wow, I couldn’t believe that worked!
I walked over to Brady and Wiki. Brady had a huge smile on her face, but Wiki looked as terrified as the pirates.
“Wiki, it’s me, Javi. I’m not really a great wizard all of a sudden. Chill out.”
Then I noticed they were both looking behind me. When I turned around, three epic warriors were entering the pirate camp, glaring at the pirates. Well, two epic warriors and a kid. There was a guy dressed up like an ancient Asian warrior and wearing some seriously rad armor, an Egyptian queen who looked very familiar, and a boy in a white wig who was maybe a sidekick. Wait, not any boy…
“Kid Mozart! And you brought your superhero friends? Is this real life?” I checked my forehead to make sure I didn’t have a fever.
Kid
Mozart dashed over and gave me a hug. “Looks like we got here just in time. Now let’s get our friends loose.”
The ancient warrior did a flip and two somersaults, landed right in front of Wiki and Brady, and in one move pulled out a huge curved sword and sliced both trees. All of the rope fell into a pile.
“How in the world did you find your way back to our time?” Wiki said, rubbing his rope-burned arms.
“You think you’re the only one with plans?” Brady said, strutting over with a huge smile. Kid Mozart gave her a hug.
“It was all Brady,” he said. “She summoned us secretly so we could be reinforcements if things got dire.”
“Remember when I pushed Blackbeard and then shook his coat this morning? I did that to ring the bell. That’s why I raced back home ‘sick.’ I had summoned these three.”
“So the bell worked even from far away. But what about the place cards?” I asked.
“I’d planted them right after you guys left for school. That’s why I had to catch up with you.”
I nodded my head in amazement. Wow, I had to hand it to her—it was a pretty genius plan.
Wiki looked happier than I’d ever seen him. He hugged Brady tightly and then realized what he was doing, took a step back, and coughed awkwardly. “Thank you, Brady. You—you saved the day.” Then he looked around and tried to recover. “Glad to have you back, Kid Mozart. But who are your friends?”
Brady looked over at the man with ancient armor who was studying the blade of his sword, and the Egyptian queen who was surveying the scene.
“You don’t recognize my personal hero? This is Cleopatra, queen of Egypt. One of the smartest, greatest rulers of all time. I thought she’d be good for our team.” Cleopatra smiled and nodded at us.
“It is good to meet you. We have work to do, if we are to defeat the pirates,” Cleopatra said. I waved awkwardly. Wiki’s eyes couldn’t have gone wider.
“And he’s from the place card you wrote for the assignment, Wiki,” Brady said, pointing at the armored guy. “You did a report on him earlier this year, and I remembered you yakking about him for weeks on the walk to school. I knew we needed someone to face pirates, so who better than a ninja?”
Wiki’s face got super solemn and he knelt on one knee. Looking up at the warrior, he asked, “Hattori Hanzō, is that you?”
The warrior nodded once, as solemn as Wiki, then went back to studying his blade.
“Um, I’m blanking—who is this guy?” I asked. I guess I usually just ignored Wiki when he was talking about school stuff.
“Hattori Hanzō,” Wiki said in a soft voice, still obviously in awe. “Probably the greatest ninja of all time. We are honored, Mr. Hanzō.”
He looked at each of us very seriously, and then quietly said, “There is no time to waste. What of the pirates?”
Brady’s face went from family-BBQ-Brady to warrior-empress-Brady. “Gather around, everyone,” she said, motioning for us to huddle. “Here’s the situation. Blackbeard and his crew are hunting down Principal Gale and forcing her to walk the plank. Then they’re going to try and destroy Andy. Our table. And then it’s world domination time. But none of that’s going to happen, because they messed with the wrong kids.” She slammed her fist into her palm for emphasis. “Now, was your mission successful?”
“The table is hidden deep in the school,” Hanzō said. “We have bought ourselves a little time. But perhaps only a little, if this pirate is as clever as you say he is.” Brady had them hide the table? Wiki let out a low whistle, clearly impressed.
“Now we must strategize,” Cleopatra said. “If my math is correct, we have two adults and three children against fifteen of the most dangerous pirates in history. I can hold my own, and Mr. Hanzō will make short work of some of them, but we need to even the odds.”
“Reinforcements,” I said. “We need to gather the teachers. At least, the ones we know that Andy summoned. Ahab would probably be pretty useful, and Frida Kahlo seems like she could kick some serious butt. And Ms. Vlad’s definitely a vampire, so she could take on a few of them.”
“Javi,” Wiki groaned, “your vampire theory is almost as annoying as your sandwich theory. A whaling ship captain and a famous painter aren’t going to be a ton of help against pirates. And Ms. Vlad is just a mean English teacher.”
“Don Quickie. Molly Cat,” I muttered to myself. “We need to solve that riddle to unlock those characters for the boss fight.” Kid Mozart raised an eyebrow. Clearly the dude didn’t play video games. “Don Quickie. That book sound familiar to any of you guys?” It was a shot in the dark, but why not?
“Don Quixote?” Kid Mozart asked, perking up. “The knight? My father used to read that book as we traveled to my concerts. It was his favorite.”
“Don Quixote!” I said, jumping up. “The painting in Dad’s room!” Brady high-fived me as we both realized it at the same time. There’s this painting of a knight on a horse and his little sidekick on a mule that seems to be on the wall of every Puerto Rican house. Brady and I asked Dad about it once and he told us it was Don Quixote, the most famous hero in Spain, from one of the most famous books of all time. “A ninja, a warrior queen, and a legendary knight can take on those pirates—let’s go find Don Quixote!”
“There is no time to lose, then,” Cleopatra said. “You, Brady, and I can gather up the teachers. Hanzō, Kid Mozart, and Wiki will head straight to Blackbeard to ensure he doesn’t murder the principal.”
Wiki nodded. “Meet us at the pool.”
The pool? All of us turned to Wiki. “Dude, this might not be the best time to perfect your backstroke,” I said.
“Think about it. He wants to make the principal walk the plank. What’s the closest thing a school has to a plank?” Right! Brady and I nodded excitedly but all of our guests still looked confused, so we had to explain what a diving board was, and then explain what a plank was, and then explain to Hanzō and Cleopatra exactly what pirates were. Once we were all caught up, we jumped out of our huddle.
“To the school! And the pirates! And probably our deaths!” I yelled, and we took off through the forest at full speed.
34
The action-movie music was blaring in my head. I looked around as we dodged trees and headed toward the morning light in the distance. An ancient queen sparkling with epic jewelry, a legendary warrior with katana swords sheathed in his epic armor, and a brilliant musician kid in a powdered wig—some hero squad we were! For all the headaches and nightmares Andy had caused us, he did score us some memorable new friends.
We practically exploded out of the woods and made a mad dash across the field toward Finistere. The sun was rising behind the castle and for a minute it felt like we were heading right into a fairy tale, not the exact opposite. The school grounds were quiet, and even though I didn’t have my watch on, I’d bet it would be another hour or more until the students were here. Hopefully the teachers we needed came to work early. I didn’t really peg Ahab for a morning person, but I imagined that whaling ship captains never had the luxury of sleeping in.
We parted ways at the middle school entrance. Wiki, Kid Mozart, and Hanzō snuck toward the high school, while Brady, Cleopatra, and I tried opening the middle school doors as quietly as we could. Creeeeeeak. “Not a good start,” I whispered to myself. Cleopatra winced and nodded. We tiptoed into the school one after another. Brady didn’t make a sound and was an A+ ninja, Cleopatra was stealthy except for her clanky jewelry, which made her a B+ ninja, but I would’ve been expelled from ninja school and never invited back. I walked as quietly as a full-sized T. rex doing the cha-cha, stumbling all over the place in my attempts to walk in silence. Halfway down the main hallway, Cleopatra motioned for us to stop.
“The pirates have never seen me before, so I can pretend that I work here. It’s better if you sneak ahead a bit while I provide backup and guard the rear. If any pirates start to
threaten you, I’ll let them feel the wrath of Isis.” I glanced at her steely eyes and instantly felt bad for any pirate who touched us.
The mood quickly shifted from our adrenaline-pumping race through forest and field to the quiet terror of being caught by a pirate in a classroom. I hoped Cleopatra had good eyes, because I bet a pirate could stab us a hundred times before she caught up with us.
“The closest teacher is Mr. Scrimshaw—um, Ahab. He’s only two hallways away,” I whispered to Brady as we turned the corner to another hallway. “Once we get him, Ms. Vlad and Ms. Kahlo are close by. Hopefully one of them knows where Don Quixote’s classroom is, and we can head there last.” Brady nodded and we started making our way down the hall, when two pirates came out of a door at the other end of it. Yikes! We ducked into an empty classroom and waited until they walked by.
“No sign of them here either, eh?” one said.
“We’ve got our crew spread across every floor in this school. We’ll find her. And once we do, we’ll see what this walking-the-plank business is all about.”
“Blackbeard seems pretty keen on it, but I doubt it’s as rewarding as a good old-fashioned cannonball to the buttocks.”
“That’s a good point right there,” the other pirate said.
The school was officially crawling with pirates! After their voices got far enough away, we peeked out of the classroom and got into super-stealth mode, practically slithering down the halls. Every few steps we’d listen carefully for any noise or see if we caught a whiff of pirate stench. No other pirates seemed to be in the area, so after we got to Ahab’s hallway we sprinted to his room and practically tumbled into it. Ahab was writing something on the chalkboard but whirled around when he saw us walk in. He immediately knew we were all in trouble.
“Blackbeard got the bell and he summoned his pirate friends and they captured us but a ninja and a legend saved us but they were too late because the crew already left for the school and now they’re here and they probably have Principal Gale and they’re trying to kill her plus destroy the table.” I vomited the words out as I hyperventilated.
Time Villains Series, Book 1 Page 15