He lifted his hand and cupped my cheek.
“I don’t want to think about the future for once. Can’t I just take you back to my place and get you screaming my name, celebrate your birthday properly?”
A blush heated my face. “That does sound a lot better.”
As I drove back to his place, while his hands roamed my body, nearly causing me to drive right through Cherry Blossoms Bakery. I couldn’t help wondering if Jason was on the level with me. Was he really thinking about me as more than something casual?
The way he treated me at the party was more than the call of duty, and I could’ve sworn at one point, he was jealous of Larry. How that could be possible was beyond me.
Parking in front of his house, we climbed out of the car, and I headed up toward his front stoop.
“Jason, maybe I should just go home…”
“Come on, Blaze.” He took my hand and tugged me forward. “Not tonight. You’re second guessing everything. You need to get out of your head.”
I allowed him to pull me into the house. Leaning back against the door, a tear streaked down my cheek, landing on my chest. I didn’t know where it came from. My clothes felt too tight, my shoes were squeezing my feet, and the room was closing in around me.
“Blaze, look at me.” Jason’s voice was a steadying force inside me, calming the rolling waves inside me. He eased me into his arms until he was holding me.
I released the emotions swirling inside me like a hurricane. I had never cried in a man’s arms before. I’d been told by all the women in my life that men didn’t like women who cried. I never cried in front of my father. I didn’t even cry in front of Allison. I just tried not to cry. After my mom died, it was all too much to feel. But tonight, having my family treat me so badly, it was like losing her all over again. I just let it go and sobbed while he held me close.
Then there was this man who treated me like I mattered and made sure my family knew I mattered to him. But could it really be true?
Jason lifted me into his arms and carried me to his bedroom. I never thought a man would lift me up like they do in the movies. He carefully slipped off my shoes, his fingers gently trailing over my skin. I wiped the tears with the back of my hand, knowing my makeup was completely destroyed. I didn’t want to cry anymore. I didn’t want to think about my family.
I just wanted to be here in the moment with Jason. He was right, I needed to get out of my head.
He pulled me to my feet and finished undressing me. Finally, naked, my body trembled with desire and fear. I felt vulnerable in front of him like he could see all of me—all the ugly parts, the parts I didn’t want anyone to see, especially him.
“God, you’re beautiful.” Jason let out a long sigh. He leaned forward and very slowly gave me a featherlight kiss. I barely felt it. The fabric of his clothing grazed my skin, its rough texture against my soft nudity. Goosebumps spread over my body, and my nipples pulled to tight nubs. His hand skimmed over my hip, his fingers grazed my side, his palm cupped my breast, and his thumb dragged over my nipple.
I arched into his hand, reaching up and wrapping my hand around his wrist.
“On the bed. Put your arms above your head.” His voice was commanding, sending a thrill through me.
I obeyed, stretching my arms above my head. It left me feeling vulnerable but excited. And something else—safe.
Jason pulled his shirt off, then crawled onto the bed alongside my body. His fingers grazed my thighs and moved over my stomach. It took everything I had not to cover my stomach with my hands, but my self-consciousness faded away quickly. Somehow, with Jason, I didn’t feel big. I felt dainty and cared for. My body buzzed with anticipation as his hand idly traced over my body, never fully caressing, teasing me to a fever pitch.
I groaned as he dipped beneath my folds gently and agonizingly slow, barely caressing my clit. My body hummed with anticipation, but his fingers moved to my inner thigh, away from where I needed him. I reached for him, only to have him slam my wrists back above my head, his hand cuffing my wrists together.
“Grip the head of the mattress. If you touch me again, I’ll stop touching you.”
I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut. Reaching over my head, I gripped the edge of the mattress, my fingers pressing into the fabric for dear life. His hot breath moved along my hip while his hand moved along the other one.
I was panting, my body quaking with need.
“Jason, please,” I groaned.
He slid down my body, kissing as he went.
“I like it when you’re all desperate for me.” Jason kissed down my stomach, then nudged my thighs apart. He fingers dug into the flesh of my thighs as he pinned them to the bed. “But I want you begging.”
I looked down at him, and his eyes met mine. My fingers tightening on the mattress, I fought every ounce of desire I had to grab his hair and push him where I needed him. My body ached and felt too hot. The world around us felt hazy like there really wasn’t anything but him and me.
“You’re so beautiful. Incredible. The way you touch people.” He spread featherlight kisses over my thigh, barely across my pussy, then over to the other thigh. My hips bucked against his rigid grip, trying to get him to eat me out, fuck me… something! “When I’m in a room with you, I can’t take my eyes off you. And I don’t want to.”
His words didn’t make a lot of sense. These weren’t words you said to someone you were just fucking. I knew my feelings had grown much deeper than just sex and friendship. But I knew better than to tell him, to say he meant anything more. Jason didn’t want to get involved in a serious relationship. Baseball was his serious relationship.
Fuck. I was thinking again. I was supposed to be lost in Jason’s touch and kisses. Instead, I couldn’t help but want more. I was just going to end up seriously disappointed, seriously hurt, and seriously alone.
“Blaze?”
I looked down over the lumps and bumps of my body to see him between my thighs. The hunger was still in his eyes, but there was something else.
“Where did you go?”
The ache inside of me was different now. Where did he get off taking care of me? Thinking I’m beautiful? Where did he get off getting me off? He wasn’t going to stick around, and he certainly wasn’t going to ask me to stay here with him. What the hell was I doing here, spread-eagle on his bed? Waiting for him to devour me? So I would just fall more in love with him?
I scrambled out of his grip and sat up, pressing back against the headboard. I grabbed a pillow and feebly attempted to cover my body.
He sat up. “What happened?”
“Jason, this is a bad idea. You’re going to be playing baseball again, and I’m still going to be here in Jubilee.”
His brow furrowed as if he didn’t understand. “Why are you pulling away? What’s going through your head?”
I glanced over at my strewn clothes. I would have to be naked completely to get to them, but at least I could get dressed and get the hell out of here. I pushed myself off the bed, feeling like a whale flopping on the beach, and quickly plucked my clothes off the ground, making a beeline for the bathroom. Jason intercepted me.
“Hey, talk to me.”
I wanted to cry all over again. Why was I stupid enough to fall in love with him? Why did I let him go to my parents? Then bring me back here to console me?
“It’s nothing. I’m just incredibly stupid.” I moved to push past him, but he grabbed my hips and slammed me back against the wall. It didn’t hurt, but it surprised me.
His dark eyes bore down into me. “I’ll let you go once you tell me why you’re running away from me. Did I do something? Did I hurt you? Scare you?”
I shook my head and begged my tears to stay put.
“Then what?”
I opened my mouth to lie, and instead yelled, “Why are you so great?!”
His eyes widened in a moment of surprise, then his damn perfect mouth curved into a cocky smirk. I lifted my hand to slap him, and h
e grabbed my wrist, pinning it against the wall.
“You’re running because you like me.”
“Jason…” I tore my eyes away from his demanding ones and stared at his chest, which was a bad idea, so I directed it to the clothes I clutched tightly to my chest.
“Blaze, why does that make you so upset?”
My gaze shot to his, shooting a proper death glare at him.
“Don’t make fun of me.”
“I’m not. Why does it bother you to like me?”
“It’s really the stupidest thing I could do, isn’t it? I spend time with a hot baseball player and everyone, including me, knows I’m going to end up with a broken heart. I shouldn’t have taken you to my parents. You’re going to leave, and they’re going to win. I’m probably going to marry Larry, squeeze out a kid, and—”
“You’re not going to marry that asshole.” Jason snarled and grabbed my other wrist, making me drop my clothes, and pinned it above my head with my other one.
His voice was possessive, the fury in his eyes surprising me.
“I want you here. I like you too. I don’t know what the future is going to hold, but right now, I just want to celebrate your birthday and make you forget the awful day. Don’t run away because there are feelings. It’s not just you.”
“It’s not?”
“Fuck no. Blaze, I think about you all the time. And not just your hot body or your healing hands. Your laugh, your smile. You’re so smart. And yeah, I want to get you off all the time. Listening to you moan my name is the sexiest damn thing I’ve ever heard. If I leave Jubilee Falls, I’ll miss you, but it’s not like I can’t come back. Or you can’t come visit Omaha. I don’t know what the future is going to bring. Before my shoulder failed me, my team wasn’t too thrilled with me, and my coach banned me from the field until my recovery. For all I know, I’m not even needed there anymore.”
“But baseball is everything to you.”
He sighed. “Yeah, because it’s the only thing I’m good at. Don’t let the future ruin what’s right now.” He gripped both my wrists with one hand and brought his other one down to cup my face. “Please stay here in the moment with me. Let me make you forget everything else, at least for a little while.”
I hated myself for reacting so rashly. I knew what I was getting into. But looking up at him, with his earnest expression and his hard cock against my hip, it was difficult to argue with his logic. The future would come one way or another, but I didn’t have to ruin it before it even arrived.
He dragged his thumb against my bottom lip and leaned in.
“Blaze?”
“Okay.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”
I nodded slowly. “Make me forget.”
A slow smile lifted the darkness out of his expression. He didn’t release my wrists, but he did lean in and kiss me. His tongue invaded my mouth, and my body prickled with desire almost immediately.
He was done teasing me. His hands were all over my body. I left mine against the wall, trying to give up control. He knew exactly what I needed, and I wanted him to give it to me.
11
Jason
Blaze gave herself over to me completely, and I spent hours making her scream. Once she passed out, I pulled her snuggly against me in bed. Her legs were too wobbly to move. For now, she couldn’t escape.
She fell asleep in my arms. I considered it a win. Blaze didn’t want to let anyone in, and after watching how her family treated her, it really wasn’t surprising why. I’d always thought having a family was better than not having one, but seeing how they treated her and made her feel, maybe that wasn’t always the case.
For the first time in my life, I found myself wanting to tie myself to someone else. I trusted Blaze, not only with my recovery but with all of me. But I could tell she didn’t want to let me in. She was afraid of falling for me and being left behind.
Now, I was afraid of that too. She’d worked so hard to build a life and a reputation in Jubilee Falls. How could I possibly ask her to give it all up and come to Omaha with me? I didn’t even know if Omaha was on my path anymore. I hoped it was. I wanted to play in the Majors almost more than anything. I didn’t think I could give it up and stay in Jubilee, and I knew Blaze wouldn’t allow that either.
I knew the moment I saw her in the bar, there was something about her. I knew if I got to know her, she’d end up being important to me.
Fuck. Had I really fallen in love with her already?
It wasn’t like it was hard to do.
I fell asleep around the time the sun rose, my dreams filled with the ideas of family.
Going back to the Coyotes’ stadium was a little surreal, almost as if nothing changed, like I hadn’t been gone for a month. I headed to the coach’s office first.
He sat there like he did before every game, pouring over tapes and plays, making notes.
I knocked.
Coach Walt’s head lifted. “Hey, Calaveras. Good to see you. Doctor sent over his free and clear yesterday. Do you feel like starting today?”
“Yeah?”
“You bet.” Coach nodded. “I want to see how you’re doing, but if you have any pain or any signs you aren’t healed, you better get your ass back in the dugout. You hear me? I know you think I’ve been unfair, but trust me, Calaveras, I have your career in mind.”
“I know, Coach. I do. I promise, I’ve got my head out of my ass.”
He didn’t smile, but the frown lifted just enough his usual curmudgeonly expression that it read mildly annoyed, instead of flat-out disdain.
“That’s good to hear. It seems maybe you got some new perspective?”
“Something like that.”
“Good.” He gave me a curt nod. “You’re a good kid, and you play with heart. You’ll be a good addition to any Major’s team, but you gotta keep your team in mind to be invaluable.”
“Yes, sir.”
“All right. What the hell are you still doing in my office? Go get suited up.”
I chuckled and headed out, nervous about how my return would be received by the rest of the team.
I moved to my locker and sat down. My plan was to keep my head low and just be a team player. That’s all I had to do. Play with the team, then I could celebrate getting back to work with Blaze.
“How’s the shoulder?”
I glanced over to see Juarez pulling up to his locker.
“Still attached.”
“Coach start you?”
I nodded.
“Good. We need you. We’re playing those Buckeye Bastards.”
My shoulders eased their tension. “We’re going to need the whole team.”
Juarez eyed me curiously, then gave a sharp nod. “You know it.”
The locker room filled up with laughter, teasing, and baseball talk as the rest of the players filtered in. I relaxed and eased into my routine. One by one, the guys greeted me. There wasn’t any animosity. We teased each other and helped each other with warmups. I made sure my shoulder was good and warmed up. No one mocked me for throwing short and slow, to begin with, until I was throwing from second to first, then to third and home.
The Buckeyes showed up on schedule, and the stands filled with Saturday night crowds. I wondered idly if maybe Blaze would come to the game. I ruled it out.
I wish it didn’t drive me crazy. I wanted her to want me, to want to be with me more than a summer fling. I never thought I would find someone important to me, not after spending my life not being important to anyone else. Blaze left me feeling all kinds of things I never thought I’d feel, but she was running scared, and I didn’t have any good answers.
I wondered if she would ever really let me in.
Juarez bumped my good shoulder. “Your head in the game?”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, I am now.”
“Good. Let’s go be patriotic.”
After we held our hands over our hearts, we got ready for the game. Nothing changed, except I kept c
hecking the stands for Blaze. She wasn’t there, and there was no reason she should be. But I couldn’t help wanting her there.
By the bottom of the eighth inning, I was feeling like myself again, only calmer somehow. There had always been an edginess to games. I wanted to be noticed, to have scouts in the stands and for the coach to introduce me to someone who would change my life forever. To be the star of the game. Now, I was just happy to be playing, and our team was in sync. It felt good to be out on the field again.
I didn’t feel like I was in as big of a hurry. Life was happening all the time. If I kept wishing it all away until I got to the Majors, the coach was right, I wouldn’t have much of a life.
Making friends in the club was important. You never knew who you’d end up playing with. Team loyalty wasn’t a thing anymore. It was about the best paycheck and who was willing to pay it. I’d always wanted to play for the Meadowlarks, but it’s not like anyone says “no” when the Yankees or Red Sox knock at your door.
I hit a home run that gave us three more runs over the Buckeyes. Unless we screwed up, the game was already won.
As I headed into the dugout, a blonde with a red scarf in her hair caught my attention—Blaze. She was here. She was in the nosebleeds. I wasn’t even sure she could see me well enough.
Fuck. Why did that make me so fucking happy?
The game finished with little excitement. Our pitcher struck out the first three Buckeyes in the ninth, and the game was done.
I showered and changed in record time.
“Whoa, where’s the fire, Calaveras?” Juarez teased.
I grinned. “Sorry, boys, I have to see about a girl.”
Whistles and teasing ensued as I finished getting ready. I had no idea if she would still be here, but I figured I would head over to her apartment. She’d never invited me, but I knew the address.
I shot out of the locker room and hurried for my car.
The drive was unbearably long. I hit every red light and got behind every slow person. When I arrived at her apartment, it was dark inside. I wondered if she’d gone out afterward. I didn’t even really pay attention to see if she was with anyone.
Sparks of Love Page 12