“Nicholas.”
His dad’s voice made him jump. He looked up to confirm that he wasn’t alone. Even in his depressed state, Nick could not miss the irritation bouncing off his dad.
“My office. Now.”
Nick shook his head. If his dad’s angry stalk were to be believed, he might have to add being fired to the worst week of his life.
Chapter 24
A ndrew Sinclair always considered himself a diplomatic boss as well as a loving husband and father, but his children continued to find ways to make him question their intelligence. He couldn't help but feel a sense of pride every time he walked around the office. This was the legacy he built, and he had big dreams of making a strong family empire, but what he got instead were three brats running around being focused on the wrong things.
He knew that he could not force them to be a part of his plan, but he had hoped that they would have their shit together by now. His wonderful wife comforted him plenty of nights while also reminding him that his children had to live their own lives and find their own dreams.
In time, he truly started to accept it and silently rooted for them all to go be great in their own ways. Today, however, all three of them were idiots as far as he was concerned, and it was time for him to intervene. He walked around his big oak desk and stared into three sets of eyes that, even to this day, were the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen. These three dummies used to have him wrapped around their delicate little pinkies, and he was thoroughly disappointed that each one of them looked like they had no idea what landed them in the hot seat.
"Children, as you know, your mother and I love you all very much and truly want the best for you." He could tell they were all bracing themselves for the "but," and boy, did he have one. "So, tell me why I am trying to convince myself that we were not responsible for bringing three morons into the world?" He sighed. Of course, they would all give him blank stares.
Andrew threw his hands in the air and paced back and forth. "I don't even know where to start with you three..." He eyeballed each of them; Dex, the family smartass, smirked. Andrew pointed at him. "You. You move back here unannounced and didn’t bother to contact your mother or me to tell us that you opened a fucking restaurant? A restaurant that I had to hear about from Kalilah!" He saw his oldest dummy flinch. "Do you really think that I am so much of an ass that I wouldn't support my youngest child?"
Andrew shoved some papers out of the way and sat on his desk facing his children.
"And what of your mother? Did you have to deal with the hurt when she found out?"
That made him look sheepish. Andrew scoffed. So, damn his feelings – the mention of his wife is what made Dex look sheepish.
"You're right, Dad. I'm sorry. Can y’all come tonight?" Andrew nodded.
"And the next event your mother throws, your place is responsible for catering. Free. Of. Charge. Understand?" Dex raised an eyebrow; Andrew returned the sentiment. Dex conceded and nodded.
"Who's next?" Andrew thought out loud. He'd noticed DD trying not to laugh at Dex. "Deidre. Darling, my only daughter. What in the hell were you thinking with the Newman Deal?" Her big eyes grew bigger, and she looked embarrassed.
"I know, Dad, I was trying to take a risk…"
He held up a hand and silenced her.
"At least your mistake was in the interest of the company. Unlike these two. But, you are not in the position to make any kind of risks. You are not the CEO! We've had this talk before. I understand your ambition, and I know you want this position one day, but today is not the day. You were blessed with a healthy father; I'm not going anywhere for a while. Understand? Always consult with me first. Am I clear?"
She nodded her pretty little head, and he was instantly reminded of all the times he had comforted her when she thought there were monsters under her bed.
Andrew shifted his focus to Nicolas. His heart really went out to his eldest, but he was also the most frustrated with him. He didn't like seeing any of them in pain, and he knew firsthand the kind of pain his son was feeling. He had almost lost Amelia once, however, he had a strong feeling Nick's pain could have been lessened or avoided had he just been a man and was upfront with him. He shook his head in disappointment.
"Nicolas, how the fuck did you manage to run off my favorite employee?"
The pain in his child’s eyes was so intense, so palpable, he could feel it. All the anger and irritation evaporated, leaving behind deep empathy. No normal parent could stand to see their child hurting, and he was not an exception. They were his to protect no matter how old they got. If he had the power to fix it, he would. He looked at his other two children. They were sad for him, but neither one of them had the knowledge to help. For the first time in a very long time, Andrew recognized that Nick needed his dad.
“You two give me hugs and get out of my sight. All three of you are expected at dinner tomorrow night. No exceptions.”
He picked up his phone and watched as his son grappled with his emotions. When the line connected, he told Lisa to cancel the rest of the day. Nick’s surprise at him doing so saddened him. He had always thought family was more important than business. How did his children not know that?
Andrew settled in the visitor area of his office and motioned for Nick to sit on the black leather sofa across from him. He poured a shot of whiskey and slid it across the coffee table. He poured one for himself because he could feel he would need it.
“Okay, son. Start from the beginning.”
Nick looked at his dad. He was sitting back with his left arm tucked on the back of the couch and his right ankle resting on his left knee. He took a sip of his whiskey and watched Nick, patiently waiting for him to speak. No anger, irritation, or judgment; just parental concern. Nick felt he’d just slipped into the Twilight Zone; he hadn’t seen this part of his dad since he was fifteen years old.
His dad smirked.
“I’ve never stopped caring, son, you just haven’t needed or wanted my help in a long time.”
Another round of pain shot through him; Kalilah had told him that his dad cared, but he hadn’t fully believed her until now. He took the whole shot of whiskey and let the liquid warm his entire body. He was in unfamiliar territory, and his dad had what he wanted. He knew it was time to swallow his pride and seek parental advice.
“Are you sure? It’s a long story, Dad.”
Andrew smiled. “It appears I have nothing to do for the rest of the day.” He refilled Nick’s glass.
Nick took a deep breath and started from the beginning. Andrew mainly listened, only inserting brief reactions to the story. He smirked at Nick’s ignorance of Kalilah’s position.
He frowned at the accusation of an affair simply stating, “Your mother is the only one for me.”
Nick almost laughed at the expression on his dad’s face when he told him he had been a virgin and about his mission to lose his virginity. Andrew beamed when he heard the advice from Kalilah that prompted the makeover.
“That’s my girl.”
He told his dad the parent equivalent of everything, omitting the office sex and the crazy amount of sex in San Francisco.
Andrew blew out a low whistle. “Wow, Nick, this is a lot to take in.” He took another sip of his whiskey before continuing. “I knew there was something between you two because both of you are terrible at being inconspicuous. I had to suffer every week watching you two making eyes at each other across the table. I often wished I had something hard with which to pelt both of you.”
Nick smiled. He couldn’t believe he was having a heart-to-heart with his dad. It warmed him as much as it could with the massive hole in his heart. He didn’t know how he would continue if he couldn’t see or talk to her again. The last six months were the best months of his adult life. Now, he couldn’t stand to be in his house. He had to check into a hotel near work just to try to get some sleep.
Andrew smiled. “I knew you had it bad for her since the first day you saw her, but you never
tried. I thought your makeover and ownership of your responsibilities were solely for Kalilah, but thank you for considering my position, even if you had to hear it from her.”
Nick frowned. “I changed for both of you. I thought you knew.”
Andrew nodded. “I do now, and I appreciate it. I knew you could be this person. I just didn’t know how to reach you. It’s like you were under a fog. I was never disappointed in your potential or who you were. I was disappointed with the lack of faith you had in yourself.”
Nick watch the play of emotions on his dad’s face. There was a hint of sadness in his gray eyes. Nick wondered if it had always been there and he was just too wrapped in his self-pity that he hadn’t noticed.
Andrew took a sip of his drink.
“Honestly, son, I feel like you settled, and you were showing up only because you had nothing better to do. When you graduated college, your dreams were bigger than this. I know I wanted an empire, but we all know Deidre is the only one that wants my spot.”
Andrew sat forward and looked Nick in the eyes.
“Why are you here?”
Nick frowned slightly confused. “I love my job.”
“You just started doing your job. You love technology. You don’t have to be here to love it. I thought you wanted to go in a different direction.”
“I thought you wanted me here,” Nick admitted.
Andrew shook his head. “Not if it’s not your passion. I didn’t fire you only because, like I said, I thought you didn’t have anything to do.”
Nick felt the sting of his dad’s admission. He really was the office recluse. He’d allowed the loss of a friend deter his desire to start a firm.
“Why did you tell me it was about time at my first meeting?”
Andrew laughed. “It was about time you pursued Kalilah. I was starting to wonder if the Sinclair genes somehow skipped you. Of course, your hesitance makes since now.”
Andrew shook his head at the surprise of Nick recently losing his virginity.
“It was obvious to me that she was the main reason why you were there. And, I’m sure Greg got the memo as well.”
Nick smiled. Greg was far more careful with his eyes since Nick’s first meeting. The sadness returned with force. His dad knew and didn’t care. He could have been with her openly the entire time. He could have taken her to his party.
“All you had to do was say something, Son,” Andrew said as if reading his thoughts. “Your poor mother was sad because she thought you were scared we were racist.”
Nick laughed and shook his head.
“I was trying to respect the fraternization policy,” Nick admitted.
“Why? You haven’t followed any other rule the whole time you worked here,” Andrew countered before laughing.
“True.”
Nick felt stupid. Of all the rules, that’s the one he chose to follow?
Nick felt his dad studying him before he spoke. “Son, I feel like I’m missing something…when did you tell her you love her?”
Nick shook his head. “I didn’t. I wasn’t sure she was ready to hear it. I didn’t want to run her off.”
Andrew raised his arms. “Well?” Nick heard the unspoken question. How did that work for you?
Nick buried his face in his palms before looking at his dad again. “She probably thinks I have something going on with Laurel. She won’t return my calls, texts, or emails. She’s not home either. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I was hoping she would at least come to work…”
“Why? So, you can corner her in her office or make a scene?” Andrew leaned towards his son. “Have you tried leaving a voicemail telling her how you feel?
Nick shook his head. “I want to tell her in person or at least over the phone. I just want to talk to her.” He watched his dad nod and pull out his cellphone.
“Are you sure she’s the one?” Nick nodded in response to his inquiry. He was too emotional to speak. “Why did you think she wasn’t ready to hear this before?”
Nick explained his theory about her having commitment issues. His dad’s laughter surprised him.
“Commitment issues? Are you serious? You asked her a favor in April and didn’t follow through until September. Would a person with commitment issues stay around that long? Or, did you ever consider how much commitment it takes for her to do her job?”
The reality of what his dad said crushed him with such force that he had to struggle to breathe. He’d focused so much on his own preconceptions that he didn’t see the evidence in his face. He should have been clear about exactly what he wanted from her. All of her.
“You’re right, Dad. I was thinking for her, and that was stupid. I was scared to lay it all out in front of her.” He looked his dad in the eyes. “But, I’m not anymore.”
Satisfied, Andrew nodded and hit dial on his cellphone. Nick looked at the ground and mentally traced the designs in the carpet. He braced himself to explain things to his mother once she answered the phone. Somehow, the thought of rehashing everything with his mom sounded harder than coming clean to his dad.
“Hey, Kalilah.”
Andrew said into his phone. Nick’s gaze snapped back to his dad’s, and he felt his heart rate kick up a notch. His dad winked at him.
“I need to see you as soon as possible. I have an issue that needs to be worked out.” Andrew looked at his Rolex. “Yeah, okay that’s fine. See you in twenty minutes.”
Nick jumped up and started to pace around the room. He was so anxious, he didn’t know what to do with his body.
“Nick?”
“Yeah, Dad?”
Andrew pointed at him with a stern face. “This is the only time I will use my position for your personal gain. Understood? You fix it. Tell her how you feel. Come to an agreement because I love you… but if I have to fire one of you…”
Nick nodded. “I know, Dad. It would be me.”
Andrew laughed. “Sad, but true.”
“Mom? I have to run into work for a little bit,” Kalilah yelled as she prepared her briefcase with shaky hands.
Her nerves had been on edge since the moment Andrew phoned her. There was a different type of urgency in his voice that she’d never heard before. She just hoped that she wasn’t running to her own firing.
She knew Andrew would not allow her to work from home too long, but she needed time to rub some balm on her aching heart. If she had to work with Nick every day and not be with him, she needed time to construct a titanium case around her heart.
She missed him so much that it almost hurt to breathe but not as much as it hurt to arrive to the Gala and see him with another woman. She played it over and over again in her mind trying to find a way she was wrong, but the woman’s arms were wrapped around his neck, and he was smiling as she kissed him. She knew it wasn’t his sister because she had just met Deidre moments before deciding to search for Nick. Either way, it wasn’t the embrace of a relative; everything in her body language said she wanted to get him naked, and he didn’t look offended.
She didn’t have any right to get mad or cause a scene; he wasn’t hers. Instead, she left so her heart could break in a less public setting. As much as she hated it, she knew it was time to set him free. Trying to do the right thing wasn’t easy. Especially when she wanted to be with him. Wanting him wasn’t enough; he needed to want her. She hadn’t returned any of his calls because she didn’t want to hear explanations or apologies for how it ended. They needed a clean break.
“Okay, baby!”
Her mom yelled from the kitchen before joining her at the front door. Her mom looked like an older version of her. Just a little thicker and a lot wiser.
“Kalilah, return that man’s calls. No man ever in history has called a woman so much just to break up. If he was trying to get rid of you, he would have been relieved that you didn’t want to talk.” She kissed her on the cheek. “Trust me.”
Kalilah thought about what her mom said as she drove to the office. She wanted to beli
eve her mom, but there were too many times she’d gotten her hopes up just for Nick to do the exact opposite. She pulled into one of the spots in front of the almost deserted building. 5:30 PM. She hoped it was late enough to miss Nick. She just didn’t know how she would react when she saw him again.
The elevator delivered her to the third floor. She was both relieved and distressed to see Nick’s office was empty. She felt a mix of despair and desire from the memory of the last time she was in his office. Kalilah sighed once she settled on a hard truth. It’s going to be hard working with him. She just might have to find another job.
The problem was: she loved the company. Her boss understood her, and that was hard to find. This is terrible, Kalilah thought as she continued to walk. She’d followed her heart instead of her head, and it was possible that she would be single and unemployed.
Kalilah thought about the countless hours she’d spent on the third floor and found it difficult to remember the office being so empty so fast. There was usually a VP still in his office or an admin straggler. Not once had she remembered everyone being out by 5:40, not even before a holiday. Kalilah couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that something was off, and the evacuation of the office probably had something to do with the reason Andrew wanted to talk to her.
She took a few deep breaths to calm her anxiety and knocked on his door. Andrew answered almost immediately.
“Hey, Kalilah. Thanks for coming on such short notice. We have an issue that needs a conclusion today.”
Kalilah nodded. She couldn’t place what was different about Andrew’s demeanor. It had nothing to do with his rolled-up sleeves and missing jacket and tie. He was too calm.
“No problem. Uh…can I come in?” He nodded and pushed the door open far enough to step back and let her pass. She’d been trapped again.
Chapter 25
K alilah felt him before she saw him. Her heartrate kicked up. Instinctively, she looked to the left to find him sitting on the couch watching her. Desire, pain, fear, and remorse hit her simultaneously. Nick was leaning forward. His elbows rested on his knees, and his fingers were intertwined. He hadn’t shaved in the last few days, and he looked tired. His gaze was intense, and different emotions she didn’t want to decipher bounced in his eyes.
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