"You totally missed me packin' the car. I have my Wonder Woman Underoos on under my cargos, too."
"Goddamn, Doll," he choked out. "You cannot tell me shit that is going to make my dick hard while some asshole is following us."
His comment made me smile. "I can't? Why not?"
Brooks gave me a sideways glance as he weaved in and out of traffic, putting more space between us and the Mercedes.
"They're not gonna wait until we get to the exit." All the humor in Brooks’ voice was gone. "Passenger's making a move."
I unbuckled my seat belt and started for the back seat when Brooks’ hand on my bicep halted my progress. "What are you doing? Put your belt back on and get down," he snapped.
With a shrug I knocked his hand away and found what I was looking for. Out the back windshield I could see the passenger of the Mercedes, now sitting on the open window frame.
"He's gonna take his shot, Brooks," I warned.
Sure enough, the man fired through the traffic-laden Causeway. His shot went wide and came nowhere near our car. But the surrounding drivers quickly sped up or pulled to the side of the road, giving the shooter his desired outcome, a clear shot.
"Goddammit, Tatiana. Get a fucking seat belt on now!” Brooks yelled.
"Hold your underwear on, jeeze."
With the AR15 now in my hand I'd almost righted myself back into my seat when Brooks veered hard right, making my body thrash.
"Seat. Belt!" he growled again.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. I'm not putting the damn belt back on and sitting here like some helpless ninny.” I quickly checked the magazine was full, pulled the charging handle, lowered the passenger window, and facing rear, I balanced on my knees. “Your choice, brake and get me a shot of the fucker shooting at us or switch lanes and get me in view of the driver.”
“Christ,” he mumbled, looking in the rearview mirror. “The driver will be easier. Brace yourself.”
I flipped up the rubber lens covers on the Aimpoint CompM4 Red Dot sight, steadied myself the best I could, and shouldered the AR15. Brooks switched lanes and hit the brakes. I took aim, clicked the safety off, and waited for a clear shot.
I had the driver in my sights “In three…two…” I pressed the trigger.
Three things happened at once; the recoil of the rifle and the awkwardness of shooting left-handed out of a moving vehicle made me flinch, my ears hurt so fucking bad from the .223 being fired in a small space with no ear-pro in, and the driver of the white Mercedes slumped.
“Goddamn, woman.”
I could barely hear Brooks over the ringing in my ears. I recapped the Aimpoint, ejected the round from the chamber, and clicked the lever back to safe, keeping the AR in the front seat with me.
“I think I busted my eardrums,” I told him as I sat down in the seat. “Thank God, I only needed one shot or my ears would be bleeding.”
“Now that you’ve taken care of that issue, how ‘bout we get back to the Underoo conversation?”
“Are you always like this?”
“Like what?”
“Have sex-brain in the middle of car chases?”
As soon as the question rolled off my tongue, I realized I didn’t want to know the answer. Mainly because it would crush me if he said yes, but also, I didn’t want to know anything about Brooks’ past. The less I knew about him, the easier it would be when he walked away.
“Hell, no. The guys on my team don’t talk about their underwear. And if they wear Wonder Woman Underoos I don’t wanna know.”
With a sharp nod I continued to stare out the windshield.
“Doll.” He reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers. “The answer is still hell no, however I’ll clarify. I have never found a woman wearing cargos, tac vest, and brain bucket sexy—until you. I have never, not once, gotten a hard-on when a teammate, male or female, was checkin’ the magazines and rackin’ the slide of their firearms—until you. I have never taken a shower or crawled into bed with a woman while on an op. I’ve certainly never had sex on a mission. And I’ve never thought about the sexy woman next me’s panties while she was expertly handling an assault rifle out the window of a moving car. Does that answer your question?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and gave the only answer I could manage. “Yep.”
“Good.”
My mind was racing a mile a minute trying to digest what Brooks had told me. More information I didn’t want to process. It was my fault, I’d stupidly asked. I was getting too wrapped up in what he thought of me and how he saw me. Then savoring the feeling his words invoked. I foolishly wanted to believe him when he called me sexy and beautiful. I hadn’t felt those things for a long time, and I never thought I’d feel them again. It shouldn’t matter to me how I looked or what others saw, but it did.
“Don’t you need to call the team and tell them what happened?” I asked.
“No need. Thad and Kyle were a few cars behind the Mercedes.”
“Seriously?”
“I keep telling you, we always have backup. You think that when I tell you you’re not going somewhere alone, it’s because you’re a woman. It has nothing to do with your gender and everything to do with being a part of a team.”
“Well, who has Thad and Kyle’s back?”
“Us.”
I’d never been a part of a team. When I was in the CIA, I had a partner and I’d worked with others but I’d never felt like I was truly a part of a crew. There was comradery but no real loyalty. I needed to be careful. A girl could get used to this.
Chapter 20
Once again, I was thoroughly impressed with Tatiana. Nothing seemed to frazzle her. Except me. And if I was being honest with myself, I liked that—a fuck of a lot. During the incident with the Merc on the Causeway, she hadn’t broken a sweat. When we got to base, she was cool, collected, and professional when she met with the UN liaison. No one would’ve guessed thirty minutes prior she’d been shot at and returned fire from a moving vehicle. Not to mention, Kyle had called in and confirmed she’d killed the driver. The news hadn’t seemed to bother her one bit. Her only comment when I told her she’d hit the man in the throat was, she was disappointed with her aim. She intended on a head shot. The team was fast learning she was a valuable addition.
However, when we were alone, I saw a whole different side of her. She couldn’t hide her vulnerability. Her unsure, soft side shone through like a beacon. A softness I wanted to protect and self-esteem I wanted to help her rebuild. And when she was in my arms and let go, the gift of her was so promising, I knew I was in trouble. She’d been in my bed a total of one night and I was already trying to figure out a way to make her stay. The situation was messy and problematic. Zane was going to have a shit hemorrhage. Not that I gave the first fuck, after he chewed my ass, he’d deal. After all, it wasn’t like I was the first man on his team to complicate shit. Hell, Jasmin and Linc were married and on the same team. If they could figure it out, there was no doubt I could. Not that I was thinking about marriage. That would’ve been downright insane. But I wasn’t letting her kick me out of our bed anytime soon.
“Yo.” Max poked his head in my room, pulling me from my thoughts. “Garrett’s on the phone. He’s got intel on the guys from today.”
I zipped my backpack and answered, “Perfect timing. Just finished packing up.”
I followed Max into the dining room and looked around. All the maps and SITREPS had been cleared off the table in preparation for our departure. I checked my watch, noting we had less than a half hour until we needed to be on the road.
“Zane crackin’ the whip, or what? It’s the middle of the night. What are you doing in the office?” I asked Garrett.
“Thad sent over the fingerprints from the driver he scanned. Since he couldn’t pull anything from the passenger, I only have half the intel I would like. But I hit pay dirt with the driver.”
After Tatiana shot the driver, the Mercedes careened into a cement barrier. The pas
senger that had been sitting in the window firing at us was mangled beyond recognition and Thad and Kyle hadn’t been able to pull prints or get a useable photo for facial identification.
“What’d you find?” Declan asked.
“The driver, Kyril Rahal, is a known associate of Matek Nazari. It seems Nazari put a hefty price on Tatiana’s head. He believes she has the four Cuneiform tablets.”
“Did he take out the Bitoo brothers?”
“Doubtful. The Bitoos were fucked for a variety of reasons, but Nazari thinks Tatiana has the tablets. He’d have no reason to go after the brothers. The prince would, though. He knew they went outside of the auction and was working with an American to sell them.”
“You think Al Issa has the tablets now?”
“If the Bitoos were stupid enough to keep them in the warehouse. And evidence suggests they’re dumber than they looked, so yeah, I think Al Issa took out the brothers and took his tablets back.”
Declan continued to pepper Garrett with questions, however I was still stuck on Nazari putting another hit out on Tatiana. I wanted to know more about that.
“What about the price Nazari put out for Tatiana?” I asked.
“I was getting to that,” Garrett told me. “Z thinks the easiest way to shut Matek Nazari down is by doing it permanently. I tracked him to Al Qatif. You’ll detour there before you continue to the Eastern Providence. Al Qatif is only a forty-five-minute drive after you cross the King Fahd bridge. I’ll send you the coordinates. The only snag is his two sons and daughter are with him.”
“How old are his children?” Kyle inquired.
“Adult-aged. The eldest son is twenty-five, daughter is twenty-three, youngest son is twenty-one,” Tatiana answered. “And they will be an issue for us. Even the daughter. All three are heavily into his businesses.”
“Do we have the green light to take out all four if necessary?” Declan asked for clarification.
“Affirmative. Scope of the mission is all four, but only if Nazari’s children directly engage.”
“And will they?” Thad asked Tatiana.
“If they see us, yes,” she answered.
“Then we make ourselves visible,” Declan said. “I don’t want any loose ends following us around Saudi Arabia. Or some sort of revenge scenario a few years from now.”
“Agreed,” I told him. Tatiana seemed to be deep in contemplation. “What’s wrong, Doll?”
“Maybe we need to reconsider me staying with the team. Nazari is after me. If I—”
“No,” I cut her off.
“Zane thought you might say something like that,” Garrett cut in. “He sent a message. Let me read it so I don’t leave anything out. And I quote, ‘Suck it up, buttercup. Being part of a team is taking care of one another. Something those CIA fucks know nothing about. You’re not abandoning your team or your mission.’ End quote.”
“But if I—”
“Not happening,” I told her.
“I could—”
“No.”
“Brooks! Stop fucking interrupting me for fuck’s sake, you’re annoying as shit. I could head to Al Qatif by myself, handle the Nazari issue, and meet back up with you guys tomorrow. That way we’re not behind schedule.”
I was trying to keep my cool. But my patience was fast running out. It seemed Tatiana wanted to ditch me every chance she got. She’d already run out once and I had to damn near bribe her to get her to come back to the compound with me. This shit was getting old. Maybe I was wrong, maybe she didn’t feel the same connection I felt.
“Either you’re a part of the team or you’re not. Your choice, Tatiana. None of us is going to beg you to stay. In or out, make a fucking decision and stick with it.” Her wide eyes came to mine and they flashed something new, injury. Too damn bad, we didn’t have time for bullshit, and if she took offense to me being straight with her, tough titties. “Garrett, you got anything else for us?”
“Negative. Coordinates and mission codes have been sent to all of you. Good luck, be safe, and stay dangerous.” Garrett disconnected.
“We’re out in five,” Declan called out, as he left the room.
Max, Thad, and Kyle all followed Dec, leaving Tatiana and I alone.
“Got anything else you wanna get off your chest?” she snapped.
“You got some brass balls, that’s for sure, Tatiana.”
“What does that mean?”
“Trying to put your shit on me. If you’re having second thoughts about being on this team, now’s the time to speak up. We’re getting ready to go into an uncertain situation and I need to know if you’re all in. If you’re not, hit the road.”
“Nice.”
“Nothing nice about it.”
She rolled her eyes and asked, “You always act like a child when you’re pissed?”
Was that what this was? Was I behaving like a pansy ass because I had a case of the feels? I wouldn’t know, I’d never been in a situation like this. She was hot for me one minute, running the next. Not ever had I been so knotted up over a woman. Especially one who had ghosted me and pushed me away whenever she could.
I took the two steps needed to come face-to-face with her. She stood straighter and pushed her shoulders back readying herself for battle. “What are you so afraid of?” I asked.
“I’m not afraid.” Her eyes went from mine to somewhere behind me.
“Eyes on me.” It took a minute but when her gaze landed back to mine, I finished. “I know that douchebag ex of yours let you down, but I’m thinking it’s more than that. Someone else fucked you over. My guess is someone you worked with in the CIA. You can deny it all you want, but you're scared as shit.”
“No one let me down.”
“Then why are you so afraid?”
“I told you—”
“You’re lying. You keep trying to ditch us. The first time was when those idiots took a shot at us on the boat. The second is when they tried to breach the compound. And now that Nazari has sent someone else after you, you’re trying it again. Maybe you’re scared and you don’t trust us.”
“Has it occurred to you that I’m trying to keep the five of you safe? Nazari is sending people to kill me. Me. Not any of you. However, if you’re with me, there’s a possibility one of you could be collateral damage.”
“Not gonna happen.”
“You’re so smug, you think a bullet won’t kill you?”
“Doll, when my time’s up, it’s up. I die just as easily as any other man. The difference is, Nazari ain’t too smart and neither are the amateurs he’s been sending in. I’m not worried because, again, he ain’t too smart.”
Tatiana was holding something else back. Damn stubborn woman. “Why are you scared?”
“I’m not.”
“Goddamn, woman! What has you so afraid?”
I was being a dick and I knew it. Seemed the only way to make her tell the truth was when she was cornered and pissed. I wasn’t proud of my behavior, nor was I ashamed. I’d do whatever it took to get her to talk.
“I don’t want you to get hurt,” she practically growled. “It’s not you I don’t trust. It’s me, you asshole.”
“You?”
“You didn’t get yourself captured and beaten. I did. It wasn’t you who fucked up and walked into a trap. It was me who did. I trusted my gut and almost got myself killed. Obviously, it’s me who cannot be trusted and I don’t want anyone getting hurt because my instincts suck.”
“That’s jacked,” I told her.
“No. It’s real.”
“If by ‘real’ you mean what you’ve brainwashed yourself into believing.”
“Brooks!”
“Doll, you know as well as I do it’s a chance we all take. You strap on a vest the same as I do. We plan, we have backup plans, we go with our gut, we study the intel, and still shit can go sideways. It’s the name of the game and we all play.”
“I get that, Brooks. However, I walked right into it. I wanted to prove to myse
lf that after everything that happened with James, I wasn’t as inept has he told me I was. I went back to work with a fire in my belly wanting to reaffirm my competence. And what did I do? I didn’t fucking listen. There were conflicting reports. I chose to follow the intel that would give me the fastest results, not what was safest or right. So, yes, I know the game, I willingly play it, but this was not an operation that went sideways. It was my fault. All of it.”
“You’re not the first operative to take a risk and have it be the wrong choice, and you won’t be the last. We all have fire in our bellies. It’s what makes us good at our jobs. We all have something to prove to ourselves. Each time we train, we push harder. Each mission we try to execute it better. We are constantly proving, pushing, improving. It is what we do. You can’t beat yourself up about one fuck-up. Learn from it. Grow. Then move the fuck on. If you second-guess every decision, you’ll paralyze yourself with indecision. And that, Doll, is dangerous.”
She looked like she was getting ready to argue some more but before she could open her mouth to utter anymore bullshit, I beat her to it. “And you’re wrong. I’ve been by your side three times now when shit hit the fan. And three times you impressed the hell outta me. I trust your instincts and your judgement. So you can stand here and tell me all about how you don’t trust yourself, because at the end of the day, I know it’s a lie you’re trying to convince yourself of. This is second-nature to you. When we were being chased, you didn’t think. Your training took over and you went with your gut. I’d have you at my back, anytime.”
“I’m still not sure,” she mumbled.
“I’m sure enough for the both of us. Nazari will not be an issue for us. And after tomorrow, he’ll no longer be an issue for anyone.”
“Okay.”
“Are you staying?”
“Yes.”
Relief washed over me and I wasn’t sure that was such a good thing. I was far more invested in her than I should’ve been. I was already in too deep, and as the saying went: in for a penny in for a pound. I wasn’t pulling back now.
Brooks (Special Forces: Operation Alpha) (Gold Team Book 1) Page 12