I watched him watch me. Watched him glide one long finger inside of me. My hips bucked. He splayed his free hand over my hip, pinning me in place, then dipped another finger inside. His gaze climbed up to mine as he brought both fingers to his mouth.
I trembled as need, loneliness, love, hope, and sadness rained over me like a shower of arrows, pinning me underneath this remarkable, prodigious man.
He pushed my underwear aside and lazily swirled both fingers against me before plunging them back inside. My breathing grew shallower as his deep strokes intensified. My thighs clenched against his shoulders as I tightened around his fingers. When my release came, it came so violently, I cried out in surprise.
Surprise and ecstasy.
But ecstasy shunted the surprise.
He kept stroking me as breakers turned into waves that turned into slow surges and finally ripples.
When my underwear settled back over my sensitive skin, I shivered.
Ace climbed back the length of my body, his face a map of mixed emotions, but it was his frown that made my heart hold still.
“Did I hurt you?”
“Hurt me?” I croaked.
His voice was hoarse. “You’re crying.”
I swiped my palms over my wet cheeks, hands trembling. All of me trembled. “No, Ace.” I cupped his face with my shaky hands.
As though not believing me, as though a little distance would help him see more clearly, he flattened his palms on either side of my face and pushed himself up.
I raised my hands to his broad shoulders, keeping him anchored to me in case he decided he needed to add even more distance.
His gaze swept over my face, over and over, just as his fingers had swept over me. The memory had me clenching my thighs. His eyes darted down to where our bodies still connected, to where our legs tangled. I shifted my hips until he was aligned with me.
He closed his eyes and groaned.
I rocked, and he growled. “Cat—” His voice broke off, but not his restraint. He didn’t move. He didn’t even twitch.
I locked my hands around his neck and tugged him to me, but he wouldn’t bend. I wrapped my legs around his back.
Greedy.
I was greedy for more.
More of him.
All of him.
Finally, he ground his powerful hips into mine. A short cry tore through my lips as he moved against me. I clawed his shoulders, drew him closer with my hooked legs. With an almost feral growl, he ripped off my underwear.
His mouth found mine, his teeth clashed against mine, his tongue twisted around mine. With one swift thrust, he was inside me, and then further inside, and further still. When he touched the end of me, he glided back out, paused, then impaled me again. I gasped against his lips and dug my fingers into his back.
He drew back out, stilled, and I broke the kiss because I knew he wasn’t done. So why had he stopped?
He was gazing down at me. “Catori Price, when you wake tomorrow, when the potion wears off, don’t be angry with me for having no willpower. And remember one thing, and one thing alone…” He pushed into me and stilled there. “I…”
Every inch of me burned and tightened and throbbed.
He drew out, teasing me with his idle strokes and slow words.
I panted, pulse feverish. “You what?”
He smiled and thrust back in so deep, I arched and whimpered. “…love…” He didn’t move as he murmured the very last word. “You.”
I embraced him then, wishing I could weld my body to his, not just for one night, but for always.
“This might scare the hell out of you, Cat, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”
Yeah, it scared the hell out of me. But it also thrilled the hell out of me.
He drew back out, then sheathed himself inside of me with such force that I broke, splintering around him into a billion, blissful, beautiful fragments.
55
Aftershock
I woke up to bright light slanting over my face and a heavy arm draped over my waist. For a second, I held my breath and ran through all that happened the night before. When it all slotted into place, I smiled and slowly…slowly, turned to face the man who’d told me he’d loved me.
Loved me.
I grazed his jaw, and his eyelashes fluttered. I trailed my fingers over his skin again, awed that I was lying next to such a glorious man.
His lids lifted, and his magnificent blue eyes settled on my black ones.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” I whispered.
“Yes, you did.” It came out as a grumble, but half of his mouth tipped up.
I smiled. “Thank you for putting up with me last night.”
He closed his eyes and tucked me closer.
“Did you mean it?”
His eyes opened, and his grin disappeared. “Did I mean what?”
“That—” My cheeks colored. Had I heard him wrong? Had my muddled mind made it up? “That you loved me?” It came out thinly.
“Nah. That was just to get you naked.”
My ratcheting heart settled back into a steady rhythm, and I touched the tip of his nose. “If I remember correctly, I was already naked at that point.”
He rolled me onto my back, and I yelped.
Pinning me underneath him, he said in a rough voice, “If I remember correctly, you never said it back.”
The heady scent of him laced around me, and I raised a brazen smile. “Was I supposed to?”
His features tripped over each other as a frown touched his brow. “No. I mean—”
“Ace Wood, if I weren’t already engaged, and you too for that matter, I’d most probably ask you to marry me right now.”
He snorted. “Wanting to marry me is not the same as loving me.” He brushed away a lock of hair from my forehead. “So? Do you?”
“No.”
He tensed against me.
“I—” I pressed my lips to the groove beneath his eyebrows. He didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. “Adore.” I kissed the corner of his motionless mouth. “You.” I stamped the other corner with another chaste kiss. And then I lay back and watched as my words sank in, as his features realigned and smoothed. “You know what…I’m not sure adore is even the right word. Is there a term that means my heart belongs to you?”
He growled and brought his mouth down hard on mine. After long, delicious seconds, he pulled back. “You’re vicious.”
I gripped his shoulders, then hooked my legs around his back. “I thought I was supremely sexy and powerfully addictive.”
He chuckled.
Even though I ached from last night, I wanted him again, and from the heavy feel of him, I knew he wanted me too. “I don’t regret last night.” I tugged him down until he was aligned with me. “No. Actually, I do.” I raked my hands down his spine. “I regret that you thought I wanted you because of a damn aphrodisiac. I regret that it took us so long to get here.” I tipped my head to the bed. “I regret that you thought you’d hurt me.” I dug my nails into his skin, driving him down until every warm, throbbing inch of him was inside me.
His neck bent and his forehead pressed against the pillow, and a deep groan rumbled out of him. It rolled over my skin, where it scattered goosebumps.
“But most of all,” I murmured, “I regret that you went to sleep thinking I might not love you back.”
When Ace dropped me off at Cruz’s house with a damaged necklace—I didn’t remember it breaking, even though I remembered almost everything from the night before—a badly tied dress, and a noticeable limp—I hurt as much as my first time, or more—I prayed neither Cruz nor Veroli would be home.
My flight of shame had been shameful enough when we’d crossed paths with Silas on our way over. I’d asked Ace if he was spying on us, and he’d said no with such aplomb that I hadn’t doubted him, even though I had wondered what a faerie guard was doing flitting around the top of a calimbor.
My prayers to find the apartment empty weren’t answere
d. I supposed too many had been answered last night.
Cruz was home, sitting in an armchair, wearing such a grim expression that I backed up straight into Ace when my fiancé’s eyes landed on mine.
“We’ve got a problem.”
My cheeks flooded with heat.
“Gregor made more lucionaga.”
Oh. So his problem wasn’t with me. Which should’ve reassured the heck out of me. But considering the actual problem, it didn’t. If anything, I almost regretted the problem wasn’t that I’d spent the night with Ace.
“How many more?” Ace asked, as his big hands wrapped around the top of my arms.
I didn’t know if he touched me to offer me support or to keep himself upright.
“He tripled them. Now a fleet is posted around the Hareni, and another fleet is guarding the portals. I fear he senses something is brewing.”
“He can’t,” I found myself saying.
Cruz cocked an eyebrow. “Why can’t he?”
“Because…because…” Because Lyoh hadn’t read my thoughts and informed him. I realized how dumb it sounded. Lyoh and Gregor could’ve had spies listening to us. “Do they know what I…am?”
“Hopefully not, but it may be wiser to believe they do.” He rose from the chair and walked over to us. “On another note, I heard Angelina fed you Daneelie scales last night.”
I gulped.
“Silas came to fetch me in the middle of the meeting to tell me Ace had kindly whisked my future bride away before she could make a fool of herself at the party.”
My face flamed.
“And just so you know, Ace, Linus offered to relieve Catori of her itch, but I told him that she preferred his younger version. And I also told him I wouldn’t be pressing charges against you. That I didn’t have time to pleasure my fiancée what with the forma attacking our mist, so I was actually thankful you took it upon yourself to help.”
Ace’s fingers dug into my burning flesh.
“Anyway, I hope you two had a pleasant night, because mine was shit.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Years it took me to plan, and in minutes, it’s crumbling. I’m starting to doubt we’ll even get a shot at bringing change.”
“The best generals always doubt themselves before an attack,” I offered.
Cruz snorted.
“It’s true.”
“Well, that doesn’t help.”
I racked my brain for something that would help, but the only thing that came up was a reel of thigh-clenching images from last night. Whoa. Not now, brain.
Actually…
“I have an idea.”
And I told them.
And although their first reaction was to say absolutely not, it was demented and I couldn’t possibly be serious, the idea took root.
The moment Cruz changed his mind, I saw it in his eyes, and the moment Ace accepted it, I felt it in his fingers.
56
The Elder
After Ace left, Cruz informed me that our duobosi was scheduled for that very evening.
“No.” My pulse flattened. “I won’t do it. Tell them I won’t do it. Tell them it’s against hunter culture. Tell them I’ll call off the wedding. Tell them…”
He gripped my trembling shoulders. “Shh…”
“Don’t tell me to shush, Cruz! This might mean nothing to you, but to me…” I pressed the back of my hand against my mouth. I was going to be sick.
“Don’t you think I’ve given this some thought?”
Slowly, I lowered my hand.
His green eyes flashed. “Give me a little credit.”
“How are we—”
“The duobosi was enforced to test the male’s virility, but it’s become a spectacle. It doesn’t affect the oath we’ve made to the Cauldron in any way, so technically, it’s unnecessary. I told Linus that if he made me debase myself in front of his courtiers by bedding a huntress, I would disclose the parentage of Angelina’s son to my mother. Even though Linus denies the boy is his, he came to the conclusion that since our marriage is a caste alliance, he could overlook the duobosi this one time.”
“Thank the Great Spirit.”
“The Great Spirit, huh?” His mouth cocked in a wry grin. “He didn’t have much to do with getting you off the hook.”
Right! “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Catori. I know you think I have no scruples about sex like most of the other Seelies, but I do, and I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t want me.”
He turned his gaze to the large window. In the distance, faeries glided across the lavender sky. Some carried runas, some journeyed in little clusters, some traveled alone. I envied their power, especially now that I knew flying would never be a possibility for me.
“Can I ask you something?”
He swung his gaze back toward me.
“I know you once told me you considered Lily a little sister, but did you ever see her as more?”
“I never allowed myself to see her as more.”
Not a yes, but not a no… “What if I broke up with you before we’re bonded in matrimony, and then you ask her to marry you again? Or she asks you? Would the Cauldron accept her back into Neverra then?”
“First, she’d have to come back inside Neverra, because the Cauldron can’t travel out of Neverra.”
“Which she might be able to do thanks to Ley’s book.”
A splinter of sunlight fell across his face. “Have you considered that if you break our bond, then you’ll be the one locked out forever?”
“I can survive on Earth.”
“Ace can’t.”
“He can return to Neverra, refuel, then return to me.”
“He would outlive you.”
“Maybe he would outlive me even if I were to stay in Neverra. Once people know what I am—”
“You’d age quicker than him.”
That shut me up. Well, for a minute it did. “Nothing lasts forever.”
“I just want you to be aware of all you’d be giving up. Besides, maybe the Cauldron won’t let me bond with Lily again. If Lily even accepts me back.”
“She knows that what you did wasn’t out of spite. She still loves you.”
“Does she?” He heaved a weighty sigh.
I patted Cruz’s shoulder. “Why don’t we find out if it’s a possibility first? Who would know?”
“An elder perhaps. I’d have to seek one out.” Hope stained his voice, brightened his tone.
“Go.”
He went.
57
Blue Magic
After Cruz left, I dressed in my jeans, T-shirt, and sneakers, and did something I had never done before. I headed down the spirals.
Unlike mornings or evenings, the middle of the day was calm in Neverra. Few sky-dwellers swooped through the grove of calimbors. And only a handful of marsh-dwellers climbed the spirals.
Without exception, the calidum I passed flattened themselves against the trunk and blinked frenetically at me. In my still limited Faeli, I greeted them. Hearing me speak their tongue simply intensified their shock.
The younger ones said hi back, though, and some even smiled, but the older ones flinched as though engaging with me would send them straight into a cupola, like Ingrid. I shuddered as her haggard face materialized in my mind.
I replaced images of her with images of Blake and our tree house. What would he have thought of Neverra? Would he have been fascinated by the housing here? Probably. It was hard not to be mesmerized by it. I lifted my eyes and looked up at the periwinkle sky streaked with thick, sinuous branches and hanging footbridges.
Even though I’d been brought to this strange isle against my will, was I truly ready to leave it forever?
Could I miss a place that wasn’t home?
No…it was the people I would miss. Veroli. Dawson.
I thought of Cass then, thought of how she would love it here. Thinking of my friend made me smile, but it also drilled a hole in my chest. I m
issed her. Like I missed my father. Like I missed Kajika. And Lily.
The Gottwas called Neverra a baseetogan—a bubble—and it described this place so well. This was a bubble. A delicate, airtight, magical world, that deserved to be rid of the cloying ribbon of mist.
If I failed to displace it though, which was a real possibility—it wasn’t as though I’d had any opportunities to practice displacing it—would Cruz ask Aylen for help? Or one of her twins?
I couldn’t see the ground beneath the thick net of clouds, but I could smell it—cold mud and green earth. The temperature had dropped, and although my muscles were warm from the brisk descent, my skin broke out in goosebumps. I quickened my pace, hoping the effort would heat my extremities, before coming to an abrupt halt several feet above the mist.
Curious gazes struck me from other spirals. I kept my eyes locked on the mist. The vast gray-white sea stretched far and wide. In the distance rose the flat tops of the blue cliffs I’d seen the day I’d run to the glades.
A filament of mist broke away from the white clumps and snaked around my fingers. I jolted. Had I gotten closer, or was the mist reacting to me? I pressed away from the thick vine banister, and in the shadow between my body and the handrail, I checked my hands. They sparkled, not copper, but blue. I squeezed my fingers into fists.
A soft gasp sounded from the calimbor across from me, which set off my heart, which in turn lit up my brand.
Certain that someone had somehow seen my glowing hands, I looked across the misty expanse, in the direction of the sound. People were bent over the vine railing. I jolted my gaze to where they pointed. The hazy fabric had torn. Not a huge hole, but large enough to see the ground, which was closer than I’d expected.
Had I done that?
Had I torn the mist?
“Oh, skies, the Cauldron is answering our prayers!” someone exclaimed somewhere below me.
Heart knocking against my ribs, I spread my fingers and the tendrils of mist rushed to cover the hole, which elicited more excitement, more pointing.
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