Christy drove silently onto the freeway and moved into the middle lane. They passed the off-ramp for Katie’s house, but Katie said nothing. Christy assumed Katie didn’t really want to go home. She just needed to get away. Christy decided it was up to her to convince Katie that they were going to have a good time.
Christy drove a little faster. The farther Katie got from home, the less realistic it would be for them to turn around and go back, and the more enthusiastic she might become about the weekend.
They continued in silence. Christy felt relieved that traffic was light. They should make it to Bob and Marti’s in about an hour and a half. She wondered if she should turn on the radio. No, a song might come on that would remind Katie of Michael, although Christy didn’t know what song that might be. She realized how little she knew about Michael and Katie and the things that were special to them. Maybe they should talk about anything unrelated to Michael.
“Did I tell you we have until Wednesday to finish up everything on the yearbook? I think it turned out really well. It’s been a lot of fun. Maybe I’ll take some courses like that in college. That reminds me. I never heard what you decided about college next year. Did you hear back from any of the ones you applied to?”
Katie pursed her lips. “I was accepted at the Queens University in Belfast. That’s where Michael is going next year.”
“Belfast? You mean in Ireland? I didn’t know you even applied. Are you still going there? What am I saying? Of course you’re not. What’s your next choice?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t have any backup plans.”
Christy could see the tears starting to slide down Katie’s freckled cheeks again. She knew she’d better start talking fast. “I guess I’m going to Palomar Community College, at least for my freshman year. My aunt wants me to go to a state university. You know they started a college savings account for me several years ago. Well, there’s probably enough for my first year. But my parents think I should wait until I have a better idea of what I want my major to be before I go to a university. That way I can get all the generaled courses out of the way. Palomar is pretty good, from what I hear. Why don’t you go to Palomar with me? It’d be great. Katie. We could even take some classes together.”
By now they were well on their way down the freeway and were driving past Camp Pendleton Marine Corps Base. Katie stared blankly out the window.
“Maybe I’ll join the army.” Katie mumbled.
“The army?” Christy questioned with a laugh.
“All right, then, the air force.”
“Katie, you crack me up. You belong in a drama class.”
“I’m not being dramatic,” Katie said, facing Christy. Katie’s eyes looked puffy in the dim light.
“What I mean is, you seem like you would be great as the star in a school play. I can see you going to college and majoring in acting much more than I picture you in the cockpit of a fighter plane.”
“Acting, huh?”
“I think you would be great in drama. You have a natural flare for it. I always said you would be the next Lucille Ball.”
“I don’t feel like I’m going to be the next anything. I hurt so bad. Christy. You can’t imagine how bad this hurts.”
“That’s because you keep thinking about it. Try to get your mind on something else. Let’s play a game or something. I know. I’m thinking of an animal that starts with the letter g.”
“It’s giraffe, and I don’t want to play.”
“How did you know it was a giraffe?”
“You pick a giraffe first every time we play this stupid game.”
“Okay,” Christy said, still trying to move the conversation off Michael. “Your turn. You pick one.”
“Christy,” Katie said sharply, “you don’t get it, do you? I don’t want to play any stupid games. I’m hurting. Just let me hurt, will you!”
Christy recoiled, trying hard not to let her wounded feelings show. Now she was the one who wanted to turn around and take Katie home. With Katie so set on feeling sorry for herself, it was bound to be a miserable weekend.
If only Katie and Michael hadn’t broken up. What am I thinking? I prayed for this for months, and now I wish she was still with him? I’m so confused! What am I supposed to say to cheer her up? I can’t understand why she’s hurting so much—she did the right thing, and she knows it.
“Katie,” Christy began softly, “you’re right. I don’t totally understand what you’re feeling. I’m trying to say the right things here, and I don’t seem to be helping at all. Maybe you can help me understand. I mean, you broke up with Michael because you were convinced God told you to break up with him. Tell me what you’re feeling now.”
Katie shook her head. “There’s no way of explaining it. It’s like a death, Christy, a loss of something precious. It doesn’t matter how prepared you are for that death, it still hurts. It just really, really hurts.”
“I’m sorry. I wish I could do something.”
“Just let me hurt.”
Christy remembered a conversation she had had with Todd several weeks ago after Katie had acted so strangely in the school parking lot. Todd’s advice had been to release her and wait. What was that other part he had said about the true test of love? Something about how the strength of love is when you can let go.
Katie showed incredible strength when she let go of Michael. Now it was Christy’s turn to let go of her goal of making Katie feel happy. If Katie needed to feel sad for a while, then she needed to be released by Christy to feel sad.
Biting her lower lip. Christy determined to try to understand what would be best for Katie, to somehow release her and not take her angry words personally.
“Okay.” Christy said, “I’m trying to understand. I want you to know that you’re free to feel whatever you feel and say whatever you want to say around me. I know I won’t always understand it all, but I want to try. So please don’t think you have to act a certain way this weekend. Just be whatever you need to be. And I promise I’ll stop trying to cheer you up.”
“Thanks, Chris,” Katie said, releasing a giant sigh. “I don’t want to mess up this weekend for you and Todd.”
“You won’t. Besides, it’s our weekend too—yours and mine. And you need to be free to feel whatever you’re going to feel.”
“I hope you never go through this, Christy. You can’t imagine how powerful your emotions can be. I think I’d rather have my toenails pulled out one by one by an army of ferocious snapping turtles.”
Christy laughed, and Katie cracked a smile.
“I don’t know why,” Katie said, “but I feel a little better.”
“Good.” Christy flashed Katie a comforting smile.
When they arrived at Bob and Marti’s, Todd’s old VW bus, Gus. was parked in the driveway. Christy felt warmed inside just knowing he was there waiting for her.
The girls hauled their weekend luggage to the front door and were met with a round of hugs from Todd, Doug, Bob, and Marti. To Christy it seemed like a “welcome home” party. Katie looked a little wary, as if she were suspicious of everyone’s warm affections.
“You ladies hungry? Something to drink, perhaps?” Uncle Bob, always the gracious host, looked as if he had just come from the golf course. He had on a light blue knit shirt, khaki shorts, and white deck shoes with no socks. For a man in his early fifties who had never had children, he looked and acted like one of the college boys.
“Sure,” Christy said, “I could go for something. How about you, Katie?”
Marti, Christy’s petite aunt, grasped Katie’s arm with her long, perfectly manicured nails. “I heard you’ve become quite the healthy eater. I’m so pleased! Wait until you see what I bought just for you and me this weekend.” Marti led Katie through the swinging door into the kitchen, and the rest of them followed.
“Look!” Marti said with glee. “Organic carrots that I just ran through my juicer.” She poured a tall glass of the thick, very orange juice and handed it to
Katie.
Katie graciously accepted and lifted the glass to her lips. Christy felt shivers just looking at the gloppy juice. She didn’t know how Katie could manage to drink it.
Katie took a sip. “It’s very good, Marti. Thanks.”
Christy thought she detected tears glistening in Katie’s puffy eyes.
“Here, Christy,” Marti said, pouring another glass. “You’ll have to try some.”
“I really don’t think I can, Aunt Marti. Thanks, but I’d like a glass of water if that’s okay.”
Marti looked disappointed, but only for a moment before she turned her attention back to Katie, who had taken another swig of the juice. “I have spinach quiche for us for breakfast, and tomorrow for lunch I’ll make you some of my jicama, alfalfa sprout, and currant salad. You’ll love it.”
“Don’t go to any trouble on my account,” Katie said.
“Are you kidding? This is a dream come true for me! I’ve been trying to get Christy to eat like this for years. Goodness knows, Robert will never try my food. I’m thrilled to have someone to share my recipes with.”
“And if you get tired of rabbit food,” Bob said with a twinkle in his eye, “you can share my recipes for some real food like doughnuts, bean dip, and pork chops.”
“And that’s just for breakfast,” Doug said, and they all laughed.
Doug was the kind of guy who seemed to always be in a good mood. Tall, with sandy blond hair and a little boy smile, he was famous for his big hugs.
Christy was laughing until she looked over at Katie. Katie had placed the half-empty glass on the counter, and now tears were trickling down her face. She quickly wiped them with the back of her hand and blinked away their companions. Then, with her head down, she quietly slipped out of the kitchen.
“Is she all right?” Marti asked. “It wasn’t something I said, was it?”
“No, she’s okay. She’s just hurting.” Christy said.
“Well then, go after her and cheer her up!” Marti said.
“I already tried that,” Christy said. “I think she just needs to be alone for a bit. She’ll be okay.”
“Why don’t I take her things up to her room,” Bob offered and left the kitchen.
The rest of them stood in silence, looking at each other. None of them seemed to know what to do or say.
“She’ll be okay,” Christy repeated. “She’ll be better tomorrow.”
Christy could only hope she was right.
At 8:45 the next morning Todd, Doug, Christy, and Katie piled into Gus the Bus and cheerfully waved good-bye to Bob and Marti.
“Say hi to Mickey Mouse for me.” Bob called out.
“I’ll save the rest of the spinach quiche for when you come home, Katie,” Marti said.
Todd popped Gus into gear, and they sputtered down the road.
“Boy, does this feel like a time warp.” Christy reached over and gave Todd’s arm a squeeze. “Remember the last time you took me to Disneyland, and Bob and Marti sent us off?”
“I still remember what Bob said.” Todd replied with a grin that made his dimple appear. ‘“Have fun. I won’t worry about you unless it’s after midnight and we haven’t heard from you yet.’ I thought for sure you would turn into a pumpkin if I didn’t have you back by midnight!”
“All I remember is that Tracy was sitting right here,” Christy said, pointing to where she sat in the front seat. “And I thought you had invited her to go with us, but you were only giving her a ride to work.”
“That’s right.” Todd looked like it was hard for him to remember that part.
“I felt horrible because I snapped at Tracy, and then she sweetly handed me a birthday present.”
“What was it?” Katie asked.
“My Bible. It was actually from Todd and Tracy, but she made the fabric cover on it.”
“I never knew that,” Katie said. “A lot of Christians were nice to you before you came to know the Lord, weren’t they?”
Christy interpreted that as a little jab that she hadn’t been nicer to Michael. She realized Katie was right. She was about to answer with an apology when Todd stopped at a red light. He hopped out of the van and jogged around to Christy’s door.
“What’s he doing?” Katie asked.
Christy couldn’t answer but let out a bubble of delighted laughter. This was their intersection. This was where Todd had first kissed her and where he had given her the gold “Forever” ID bracelet she wore on her right wrist. Todd opened Christy’s door, and practically scooping her up in his arms, he helped her out of the van. Together they ran to the front of the vehicle, and in front of Doug and Katie and the whole world, Todd wrapped his arms around Christy and quickly kissed her. Then he let go as fast as he had embraced her, and they each ran to their side of Gus and hopped in just as the light turned green. Todd slid the van from neutral to first gear and drove on as if nothing unusual had happened.
“So how about those Dodgers?” Doug said to Katie.
“I don’t see anybody doing any dodging,” Katie quipped back.
Doug laughed and kept laughing all the way down the freeway to Anaheim. Christy realized that the little encounter at the intersection was probably embarrassing for Katie and Doug, but to Christy it meant everything. It meant that Todd valued their special memories as much as she did and that he didn’t care if the whole world knew they were going together. It was a wonderful, warm, delicious feeling, and Christy hoped it would last all day.
They parked Gus and took the tram to Disneyland’s entrance. Christy had her camera looped over her arm and a sweatshirt wrapped around her waist.
That morning she had remembered the peach-colored T-shirt she had worn on her first Disneyland date with Todd and wished she had brought it to wear just for the memories. Instead, she had on a cream-colored T-shirt and jeans. Katie wore jeans too and a green cotton shirt. Both the guys had on shorts, and they all had brought along sweatshirts for the cool of the evening. Their first stop inside the park was at the lockers to leave their sweatshirts.
“Where to first?” Doug asked. “I’m a Tomorrowland kind of guy. You might as well all know that right up front.”
“What I hear you saying,” Todd said, “is that Space Mountain is calling your name. Am I right?”
“What can I say? I have the need for speed.”
“My kind of guy.” Katie flashed Doug a big smile.
Christy’s stomach started to feel a little queasy, thinking about all the roller coaster rides these three would want to go on. She preferred the gentle boat rides like It’s a Small World. Last time Todd had talked her into the bobsleds, and that was about the wildest ride she had ever been on. Apparently, it was tame compared to some of these others.
“Tomorrowland it is,” Todd said. “As long as we make it to Adventureland before it’s dark, I’ll be happy.”
“My favorite is Thunder Mountain Railroad,” Katie said.
She had been doing a great job of keeping cheerful all morning. Perhaps leaving her alone last night to cry herself to sleep had been the best thing for her.
“What’s your favorite, Christy?” Katie asked.
She didn’t dare say It’s a Small, Small World, so she said the first thing that came to her mind. “I like the Swiss Family Tree House.”
Todd stopped walking and looked at Christy with pleased surprise. “Really? That’s cool.” Then he took her hand and gave it a squeeze.
“She just said that because she knows it’s your favorite spot, Todd,” Doug said over his shoulder. He and Katie were leading the way, blazing the trail down Main Street as they headed toward Tomorrowland.
If she had thought about it, Christy would have remembered how Todd had turned into a free-spirited Tarzan in the tree house when they had climbed through it on their first visit here. Todd’s dream was no secret to anybody who knew him well. He wanted to be a missionary and live off the land in a jungle somewhere. He had never wavered from that goal, and more than once Christy
had questioned whether or not she had what it took to be a missionary as well.
Fortunately, that question didn’t need to be answered for a long time. For now, she and Todd were together. Things had never been better. She had never been happier.
The line for Space Mountain was long, and they had to wait about forty minutes before it was their turn. But the time went fast, with Katie and Doug chattering away.
Christy was relieved to see Katie doing so well emotionally. Doug was a great encourager. If anyone could make Katie feel better, it was Doug. Good ol’ Doug. Christy decided she was going to try and find some way to let him know how much she appreciated him.
Soon they were stepping into the cars that would take them whirling through the darkness on this inside roller coaster. Christy climbed in and immediately curled up against Todd’s chest. He circled her with his arms and whispered, “Scaredy-cat?”
Christy answered with a little “meow” just as the car lurched forward and the ride began. Squeezing her eyes shut, she clung to Todd’s arm and clenched her jaw to keep from screaming. She could hear Katie shrieking and Doug laughing from the seats in front of them. She wondered how many other adrenaline-pumping rides they would coax her onto before the day was over.
The answer was five. They went on every fast ride they could find. The only comforting part was that each time she could cuddle up with Todd, close her eyes, and feel his strong arms around her. She had never felt this close to him before. It was as if Todd was sheltering her, protecting her, and letting her lean on him for strength. She wondered if he felt the closeness too.
Each time they stepped off one of the wild rides. Christy kept her arm around Todd’s waist. She wanted to feel his arms circling her all day. All week. All year. The rest of her life. This was where she belonged.
“Anyone hungry besides me?” Doug asked around noon.
“I think your stomach has a timer,” Katie said. It goes off about every hour, doesn’t it? I mean, it couldn’t be much more than an hour since you had that popcorn.”
“Hey, I’m a growing boy,” Doug said.
“I’m just giving you a hard time,” Katie said. “I’m hungry too. What do you guys want to eat?”
Christy Miller Collection, Vol 4 Page 18