by E. L. Todd
“Which is why I’m interested in your answer.”
She set down her fork altogether, the air growing still as the silence stretched forever. “I think you’ve worked so hard to get where you are that it would be a waste to walk away now. You’re still so young, with so much to contribute. There are so few people with the training and intelligence to do this sort of thing. We need people like you. And even if you never have a family of your own, your work will be your legacy. Your name will always be remembered. It’s your passion, what you love, so you should keep going. If you let someone convince you to stay…you’ll regret it the rest of your life.”
It meant the world to me that she said that, that she understood me so well. She could have tried to convince me to stay, to stay with her to make her happy, but she didn’t. She did the right thing…just as she did for Kyle.
“I’ll say something to Vic for you.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I wish he and Stacy understood everything you do, that they should respect your wishes and be proud of you. I know they love you and want you around, but guilting someone into staying isn’t the right way to go about it.”
“I don’t think anyone could say anything to make Vic see things differently, so don’t worry about it.”
She turned back to her food and spun the noodles around her fork. “How was your day?”
“Good. Hyde and I are working together on a project. Now we talk all the time…more than I’d like.”
She chuckled. “Liar.”
I shrugged. “He’s my favorite colleague to work with. When we launch in a couple of months, I’ll feel better knowing he’s with me. He’s a good pilot.”
“But you’re better, right?”
“No such thing as better. You can either fly the damn thing, or you can’t.”
“Are you the commander of the operation?”
“Why would you ask that?” I countered.
“You were the commander of every mission you’ve been on in the past.”
“Except my first.” I was a rookie at the time, learning the ropes.
“I would assume you’re the commander this time around too.”
“Yeah…I am.”
“So…when can you start talking about this mysterious mission?”
“Not for a few months. But when I can, you’ll be the first to know.”
“Does Jane know?” She took small bites of her food, giving me most of her attention.
“Yeah. But that’s different since they’re married.”
“So, that’s allowed? To discuss with your spouse?”
“Not technically. But people need to make arrangements in case they don’t come back.”
Her skin lightened noticeably at my words. She stiffened, visibly uncomfortable. “That’s not going to happen though, right? You’re going to come back.”
I wanted to lie to her and say whatever she wanted to hear. I wanted to promise her that everything would be okay, that she didn’t need to worry about me. But the lie would only hurt more if I didn’t come home. This was the most dangerous mission I’d ever been on. The odds weren’t good. “You never know what might happen. You could get in a car accident tomorrow and be in a coma for the rest of your life. Everything is dangerous.”
“But this is really dangerous, isn’t it?”
I looked down at my food.
She took a deep breath then picked up her fork again. “Just be safe, Neil…please.”
Christmas came and went, and once the new year came around, everything started to happen so fast. This mission had felt like it was so far into the future, but now it was only a few months away. We were on schedule to launch, and that made the date even more ominous.
I treasured Charlotte even more, like a man about to be shipped off to war. My time with her was growing more limited, but my feelings were also growing. When I was on top of her, my thighs separating hers, all I could think about was the woman underneath me, her bright green eyes as they shone with pleasure. Her fingertips shook as she felt me, the excitement circulating through her like this was our first time, not our hundredth. Her pink duvet cover slid to the floor as we bounced on the mattress, and Torpedo disappeared to the living room to escape our loud noises.
I wanted to be inside her forever. I wanted to stay right there and never leave.
Her palms glided up my chest, and her fingernails dug into me lightly. Her moans filled my ears, made my cock just a little harder every time I heard it. Her cunt was a waterfall of arousal. This woman always wanted me, anytime and anywhere.
I’d been never with a woman more beautiful, more sexy. She didn’t even need to try to capture my attention. She always had it, from the way she laughed to the way she smiled. She could ask me to get her a pint of ice cream in the middle of the night, and I would. I wouldn’t even blink an eye over it.
I fucked her into an orgasm, pleasure that made her hips buck uncontrollably. Her nails turned into claws, and she left faint marks across my skin, another set to add to the collection that was already there.
Anytime she climaxed, I wanted to do the same. Watching her enjoy me, listening to her moans echo across the ceiling, made me want to follow her into that bliss. I wanted to keep going, to make this session as long as she wanted it to be, but I was too selfish…and she was too sexy.
I came inside her, filling her cunt with another load. All my other senses shut down as I focused on the overwhelming pleasure in my veins. It made all my thoughts seize, made my entire body tense and relax at the same time.
I buried my face in her neck and lay beside her, my arm still holding her because I didn’t want to let her go. I felt like I was a million degrees and I was covered in sweat, but I never wanted to lose her touch. I closed my eyes and experienced the high that came after the climax, the peace I felt just being with her.
Then her phone vibrated on the nightstand.
I kissed her shoulder. “Don’t look at it.”
“Last time I did that, Stacy almost called the cops.”
“Let her. I don’t care.”
She kissed me on the cheek before she grabbed her phone. “Oh my god.”
“What?” I sat up. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah…Stacy and Vic just bought a house.”
“Wow, that’s great.” They’d been looking for a long time, and now they finally seemed to settle on a home where they would raise their kids. Stacy was six months along, so they were running out of time. They still had to set up the baby’s room and get all of their supplies ready.
“She wants me to ask you if you’ll help them move.”
“Does she know I’m here?”
“Just assumed.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, sure. When?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” I asked incredulously. “They aren’t messing around, are they?”
“I know Stacy hates that apartment. There’s only two of them, and they’re already cramped.”
“When it comes to Vic, I don’t think he minds being cramped with Stacy.” I grabbed her phone and tossed it onto the bed before I snuggled with her again. My arms wrapped around her waist, and I held her close. “That means I need to rest as much as possible. You’re on top for the rest of the night.”
“That’s fine with me. I like being on top.”
“One…two…” Vic was squatting down with his hands hooked under the bottom of the couch.
“Do we need to count every single time? How about we just pick it up and move on?”
He glared at me. “I thought you’d like a good countdown, Rocketman?”
Now it was my turn to glare at him. “Let’s just do this.”
“Okay. One…two…”
“Jesus Christ, Vic. This thing is heavy.”
“We would have been done by now if you just shut your mouth.”
I rose to my feet and lifted up the couch, knowing the height change would force him to mimic me.
&
nbsp; Vic picked up the couch and came level with me.
“Alright, was that so hard?”
“You tell me, Rocketman.”
I ignored his taunts, and we carried the couch into the elevator and then into the U-Haul parked at the sidewalk. “Where’s Stacy?”
“She’s setting up dishes and stuff at the new house. Don’t want her carrying anything heavy while she’s got a bun in the oven.”
“You wouldn’t want her carrying anything heavy anyway.”
“Yeah, probably not.”
Charlotte emerged out from the doorway carrying one of the heavy wooden nightstands.
“What the hell are you doing?” I rushed to her and grabbed one side of the bedroom furniture, feeling how heavy just half of it was. “Why are you carrying this by yourself?”
“It’s not that heavy, Neil. I got it.”
I took it from her hands and carried it the rest of the way by myself.
Vic watched me, a knowing grin on his face.
I carried it into the truck then walked down the ramp once more. “Just stick to light boxes and stuff from now on.”
“Come on, I’m stronger than that.” She flexed her arm in her t-shirt, showing a slight bump of muscle that wasn’t remotely impressive.
The last thing I wanted was for her to hurt herself, especially when I was leaving soon and couldn’t take care of her. “Just do what I say.” I couldn’t keep my anger in check, couldn’t keep my cool in front of my brother. I walked past her and headed back inside to grab the next item.
I could hear Vic’s voice. “He means well. Don’t be mad at him.”
Their new place was exactly where I imagined them living. It was a 3,500-square-foot house with hardwood floors, a southern porch outside, and a large backyard with a pool for the kids. Most of their furniture was perfect for the space, but since it was so much bigger than their apartment, they would need new additions.
Stacy had sandwiches on the kitchen island, turkey and cheese along with bags of chips for everyone.
Vic and I immediately grabbed a few sandwiches and stuffed our mouths as we stood there, both starving and irritable.
Stacy eyed us then looked at Charlotte. “Neil is just like his brother. Turns into an angry bear when he’s hungry.”
“He turns into an angry bear for other reasons too.” Char gave me a glare before she picked up a box of towels and carried it down the hallway.
“What’s that about?” Stacy asked, picking up a sandwich herself.
I was chewing, so Vic answered for me. “Charlotte picked up one of our heavy nightstands, and Neil lost his shit.”
“She carried that by herself?” she asked incredulously. “Damn, she’s pretty strong for not hitting the gym.”
“Don’t encourage her.” I drank my iced tea, not impressed by her feat of strength. I already knew she was a strong woman for millions of reasons, but picking up something twice her weight and throwing out her back wasn’t the best way to prove it. “So, I like your new place. It’s really nice.”
“Thanks,” Vic said. “It was only on the market one day when we bought it. We hadn’t even seen it in person when we made the offer.”
“We just knew,” Stacy said. “It’s brand-new, and it’s everything we wanted.”
“I’m glad it worked out,” I said. “I haven’t taken an in-depth look, but I really like it. Great place for a couple of kids.”
Stacy turned to Vic, trying to fight an affectionate grin from stretching over her face. “I know…”
Vic moved his arm around her waist then kissed her on the cheek.
Sometimes when I saw their affection, saw the way they visibly loved each other, it made me wish for a different life. It made me envision myself moving in to a place like this, Charlotte making lunch for everyone because she was the one who was pregnant. I’d never had those kinds of thoughts before, never had a fantasy like that. I used to think about dirty things, having sex in public places like in the back of my Range Rover. Now my fantasies were very different than they used to be. It seemed like something inside me had changed, just the way it did when Vic met Stacy, when Hyde met Jane.
Stacy watched me grip the counter and zone out. “Everything alright, Neil?”
I hadn’t realized how much I’d spaced out until she mentioned it. “Yeah…just thinking about a few projects I have going on at work.”
Vic stared at me like he didn’t believe any of that. “Whatever you say, Neil.”
“I don’t appreciate you snapping at me like that in front of my family.” She marched into the house first and was immediately bombarded by Torpedo. He rushed her and stood on his hind legs so he could get his tongue closer to her face.
She gave him a rubdown, but her anger was still directed at me.
“I didn’t want you to get hurt.”
“All you had to do was say that. But instead, you acted like a huge douche.”
I followed her farther into the kitchen, watching her grab a beer from the fridge and twist off the cap. “Look, I’ve seen enough people get hurt in my line of work that I don’t want it to happen to you.”
“I’m not an astronaut, Neil.”
“But you’d be surprised how little it takes to be crippled for six months.” I snatched the beer out of her hand then backed her into the counter. My hands rested on either side of her as I boxed her in, forcing her face to be inches from mine.
When we got this close, she shut her mouth. Her eyes looked into mine, still angry but also kind. Her hands gripped the edge of the counter, and she took a deep breath when she felt our bodies together like this.
Just being this close to her reminded me of my feelings, reminded me how much I’d changed since we’d met. I used to be a playboy who broke beds as well as hearts. But when this little woman in her cutoff jeans walked into my life, I became a changed man. If only things were different…if only I could have both things. I’d chosen my fate, to be the first man in history to step foot on Mars, and that came with sacrifice.
Her breathing slowed as the silence trickled by. She became tenser the longer we stood like this, the longer we were close together and surrounded by our explosive heat. Her nipples hardened under her t-shirt, showing her arousal as well as her unease. We were wearing shorts and t-shirts because it’d been warm moving all that furniture, but now that the cold settled in, she started to shiver.
“It’s my job to take care of you. My woman doesn’t pick up anything heavy. I do that, alright?”
I only got a slight nod in return.
There was something I’d been meaning to give her, but I hadn’t found the right moment. I didn’t want to hand it over right before I left because it might make her sad afterward. I wanted to give it to her when we were still happy, before things turned sour. “There’s something I want you to have.” I dug my hand into my pocket and pulled out the white gold necklace I’d picked out at the jeweler. The pendant was an empty glass container, circular and closed off.
Her eyes went to the pendant, seeing the grains of sand inside. “What’s that?”
“Sand from the moon.”
Her eyes widened before she looked at me again. It was such a simple expression, but it conveyed every single thought inside her mind. It showed her emotions, showed her surprise. She released a deep breath as her eyes started to water.
“I got it from my favorite crater.” I unclasped it then hooked it around her neck. It hung just above her breasts, so it was viewable with any article of clothing she wore. I watched it hang around her throat, knowing it looked exactly as I envisioned.
“I didn’t know you were allowed to do that…”
“I’m not,” I whispered. “But I did it anyway.”
Her fingertips lightly touched the pendant as she looked me in the eye. A thin film of moisture was on the surface, reflecting the lights from the kitchen ceiling. It meant the world to her; that much was certain. “I don’t know what to say…”
“You don�
�t need to say anything.” My fingers brushed against her cheek as they slid toward her hair. Her skin was so soft, like a rose petal in summer. My fingers slid into her hair, and I wrapped it around my fist, getting ahold of her like there was no gravity and she could drift away. I looked into her eyes and felt the pain radiate in my heart, felt the sadness from my upcoming departure. Any other man would make the same decision I had, but it didn’t make it any easier. If I walked away from my colleagues now, I would be a traitor. I would lose all the respect I’d gained in my career. She wouldn’t want me to stay anyway.
“I wish I could give you something to take with you…”
“You can.”
“Well…what can you take?”
“A picture would be nice. PG, of course—since I won’t have much privacy.”
She smiled. “Alright, I’ll find something.”
She was asleep beside me, on her side facing me with the necklace around her throat. Her hair was pulled back behind her on the pillow, and her arm rested on my waist as she breathed deeply, lost in sleep.
I wasn’t tired despite moving all of Vic’s furniture, so I observed all the subtle movements she made while she slept. I watched the way her lips would part then close again, studied the way her body looked so rested as she was deep in sleep.
It was a moment I wanted to treasure forever, a peaceful memory to lull me to sleep on the long journey to the far reaches of our solar system. In that kind of environment, it was hard to find a state of relaxation, physically or mentally. But all I had to do was think about this…and that would be enough.
I grabbed my phone from the nightstand, turned off the flash, and snapped a picture of her.
It was perfect.
Hyde walked beside me, his hands still dirty from working under the shuttle all day. “You think it’s time?” We headed down the hallway to one of the conference rooms, the place where we met to discuss highly classified information that we didn’t want the wrong person to hear.