by Iris Morland
They were shouting now, but neither seemed to care. “What the fuck kind of question is that? Jesus, Gavin, do you hate me that much?”
They continued yelling, until Jaime burst into the office, swearing at them both. “The fuck are you two doing?” he demanded. “Everyone in the entire town can hear you screaming at each other.” When he saw that they were close to blows, he pushed them apart with a curse. “Get it together, you two.”
Gavin wrenched away from Jaime’s grasp. “I’m leaving,” he muttered.
“Good, go home and cool off.” Jaime turned to Adam. “And you should probably do the same.”
Gavin didn’t hear what Adam said in reply. He stalked out of the vineyard and climbed into his truck, driving off without caring that he still had work to do. Anger roiled through him and his vision was a haze of red. He couldn’t throttle his own brother. Adam didn’t get it; he didn’t understand how Gavin had had to shoulder everything by himself. Adam had had their parents, Grace, the entire town of Heron’s Landing when Carolyn had died. But Gavin had had no one.
When he arrived back at his apartment, he pressed his forehead to the steering wheel. As his anger drained away and became exhaustion, a small voice inside of his head told him that his family had reached out to him, but he’d pushed them away. He’d told them he’d take care of everything. He hadn’t wanted their help. But that immature part of his soul had wished they’d fought for him anyway. That they’d tried one more time, as opposed to giving up so easily.
Entering the apartment, he saw a bright scrap of silk underneath his pillow in his bedroom, and pulling it out, he realized it was Kat’s headscarf. He inhaled it, and her scent enveloped him. He remembered how they’d made love in this very bed, and how she’d looked at him when he’d touched her.
You can’t keep it all locked inside. I tried it with Carolyn, and I almost lost Joy because of it.
Gavin sat down on the bed, clutching the headscarf. He knew with a painful kind of clarity that despite his anger at his brother, Adam had spoken a truth that resonated in Gavin’s soul. He had been keeping it all locked inside, and in his fear of being vulnerable a second time, he’d pushed Kat away. He’d pushed her away because loving her was terrifying.
He groaned. God, he was a fool, a coward, the type of man who didn’t deserve a woman as amazing as Kat. He’d told her she deserved better than his broken self, but that was only because he hadn’t tried to mend his own heart. He’d kept his heart broken and battered, its own kind of shield from the terrors of the world. And Teagan had been the perfect excuse, hadn’t she?
Gavin dragged his fingers through his hair. He didn’t know if he could get Kat back, but he had to at least tell her he loved her. He didn’t expect her to forgive him, but he could fight for her. He would fight for her to the ends of the earth.
He stuffed the headscarf into his pocket for good luck, resolving to find Kat that very afternoon and tell her how sorry he was. Then he grimaced, knowing he’d need to apologize to Adam as well. He’d really fucked things up, hadn’t he?
But Kat was at work right now, and he had no idea when she’d be home. He was halfway tempted to sit on her doorstep and wait for her, but given everything that had happened at her grandmother’s place, that probably wasn’t the best plan. Besides, he needed to be home when Emma got off the bus.
As he was debating, his phone rang. To his shock, Kat’s number flashed on the screen.
“Kat? Are you okay?” His heart pounded wildly, imagining all sorts of things that could’ve happened now.
“I’m fine. Gavin, Emma’s missing.”
Chapter Fifteen
Kat tried her best to throw herself into her work. She couldn’t let her heartbreak over Gavin keep her from being a good teacher. But her students were certainly old enough to have heard about her house being vandalized, and being just kids, she had to volley tons of questions every single class.
Finally, it go to the point that Kat made a blanket rule that if anyone talked about the subject, they’d get a demerit. That had nipped the discussion in the bud—at least when Kat was present. She obviously had no power to keep the kids from talking about it when she wasn’t around.
Two weeks after Gavin had broken her heart, Kat was grateful that there hadn’t been any more threats against her. The police hadn’t found any leads despite their best efforts, though. Kat had a feeling, being such a tiny police force, that they didn’t exactly have the capability to track down somebody like this. And now that the threats seemed to be stopping, there wasn’t as much focus on it as before.
On Wednesday, Kat had a longer lunch break and decided to go out to eat. It was chilly but the sky was clear, and she enjoyed looking at the autumn leaves. It was only a short drive to the town’s Main Street and to Trudy’s Diner. There were a few regulars at their booths, but since it was the middle of the week, it wasn’t busy. Kat found her favorite booth. She didn’t even look at a menu: she always got the same thing from Trudy’s.
“The usual?” said the waitress, Leslie, with a warm smile.
“Yeah, but let’s do a chocolate shake instead of strawberry.”
“You got it.” Leslie winked.
Normally, Kat would’ve asked Leslie about her kids, how her knee was doing after her recent surgery, and other small talk. Today, though, Kat wanted to sit by herself and not talk for a second. It didn’t help that everything in this town reminded her of Gavin. That was the worst thing about small towns: you couldn’t disappear inside them when you really wanted to.
Kat soon had her cheeseburger, fries, and chocolate shake to work on. She dipped her fries in the shake in between bites of her burger.
“I didn’t know anyone really did that,” said a familiar voice. Silas smiled at her, and then gestured at the empty seat across from her. “Can I join you?”
Kat had barely spoken to Silas since he’d told her to watch herself with Gavin. Before that, Silas had stopped by Gavin’s more than once to check on her, but the meetings had ended after that weird conversation at school.
At the moment, she was tempted to tell him she was in a hurry, but instead, she found herself falling back to her usual polite self. Apparently Midwestern politeness had rubbed off on her since moving here.
“Sure,” she said without enthusiasm.
Silas slid into the booth and grabbed a fry from her plate. “I’m starving.”
“Then you should order something.” Kat wasn’t about to share her fries along with her company. She had her limits.
Silas snagged another fry, clearly enjoying her annoyance. “I had no idea you hated sharing food.”
“I don’t. Just French fries.”
“Sure, okay.”
Silas ordered his lunch and proceeded to watch Kat eat. She tried to come up with something to say, but her brain just couldn’t find the words. Besides, Silas had invited himself to sit with her: he could start the conversation. Apparently I’m extra petty when I’m grumpy, she thought wryly.
“How are you doing? I feel like we don’t talk anymore.” Silas’s expression was sad.
Kat instantly felt guilty. Silas was a little strange, but he didn’t mean any harm. She gave him a halfhearted smile. “I’m sorry. I’ve just been busy.”
Silas traced an invisible line on the tabletop. “I was afraid of this, you know. This always happens when my female friends start dating somebody.” He didn’t look up at her, but instead watched his own finger. “The boyfriend always gets jealous of me.”
Kat blinked at him. “Gavin isn’t my boyfriend.” He’s not my anything now, she thought morosely.
“He’s not?” Silas’s gaze shot to hers.
“I mean, we’re not official.” It was true-ish.
“Oh. Well. My point still stands.”
Silas’s grilled cheese and tomato soup arrived. He tore off a piece of his sandwich and watched the cheese stretch. “Look at that. Beautiful.”
“Gavin has nothing to do with me being
busy,” she said.
Silas raised an eyebrow in obvious disbelief.
Kat found herself blushing. “I mean, he isn’t the reason I haven’t been available lately. That’s my fault and my fault only. Gavin doesn’t dictate who I get to hang out with.”
Silas’s face closed. “So you’re saying you’re avoiding me because you don’t want to talk to me.”
“I mean, what you said to me about having to watch myself with Gavin…” She shook her head. “You keep saying he’s going to hurt me or something. And he’s never hurt me—“
She stopped, because he had hurt her. He’d pushed her away. Maybe that hadn’t been what Silas had been warning her about, but he hadn’t been wrong, either.
Silas reached out and touched her hand. “I’m just worried about you. Can’t we be friends again?”
“I don’t know,” she answered honestly.
His fingers closed around her hand. “That’s not fair, and you know it.”
“I’m just trying to be honest.”
“You haven’t been honest this entire conversation.” His fingers dug into her hand to the point that she felt the bite of his fingernails. Then just as suddenly, he let her hand go.
“I think I’ll take this to-go.” He got up and grabbed one of the to-go containers, sloshing almost half of his tomato soup onto the table. “See you around, Kat.”
After Silas had left, Leslie wiped up the spilled soup. “Goodness, he had a bee in his bonnet, didn’t he?”
Kat felt her burger and fries congeal in her stomach. “I should get back to school.”
Leslie looked more closely at Kat’s face. “You okay, honey? You’re looking pale. Are you coming down with something?”
“I just—I need to go.”
Inside her car, Kat forced herself to take deep breaths. She didn’t know what was up with Silas, but something in her gut told her to stay away from him.
Gavin isn’t the man I have to watch out for.
On a blustery Friday before Halloween, Kat was trying to keep her kids from completely losing focus. They were excited about dressing up and going trick-or-treating, not to mention comparing their costume ideas with the other kids’. When one boy found out another was also going as Captain America, you would’ve thought it had been revealed the first boy had murdered the other’s puppy.
As Kat took role, she realized that Emma wasn’t in class. She frowned. Mrs. Gentry hadn’t mentioned that Emma was absent today, but maybe she’d forgotten. Everyone seemed to be distracted today. But something niggled in the back of Kat’s mind. She sent a text message to Mrs. Gentry. Is Emma Danvers sick today?
Mrs. Gentry messaged back immediately. No, why? Is she not in computer class?
Kat felt ice drip down her spine. Was Emma hiding somewhere again? But Kat couldn’t leave her kids, so she sent another message to Mrs. Gentry and asked her to begin looking for Emma.
By the end of her class, Kat was a bundle of nerves. Mrs. Gentry came up to her and said in a low voice, “Go tell Principal Layton. Now.”
That meant Mrs. Gentry hadn’t found Emma. Kat walked as quickly as she could without alerting suspicion, her heart pounding in her chest. She checked the closet where Emma had hidden before, but it was locked. Although there was no way the girl could’ve gotten a key, Kat knocked on the door anyway.
“Emma, are you in there?”
Silence. Where could she have gone?
Outside, the wind was blowing harder, and it was starting to rain. She needed to call Gavin. Maybe he knew where she could’ve gone.
Kat did her best to stave off panic. Panic wouldn’t help find Emma. She had to keep a clear head, even when her heart was about to pound right out of her chest. By the time she got to Principal Layton’s office and told her that Emma Danvers was missing, Kat’s panic had turned into resolve.
Gavin might’ve broken her heart, but she was not going to let them go through another tragedy. He’d already almost lost his first wife. The thought that something would happen to his daughter? It was unthinkable.
“Do you have any idea where she could be?” Principal Layton said hurriedly as she dialed the police. “Did you look in the closets?”
“Yes. They’re all locked. I don’t see how she could’ve gotten inside them.”
“I have a skeleton key: I’ll check them.”
“Someone needs to inform her father,” said Kat quietly.
Principal Layton nodded tightly. “I’ll do that once I get off the phone with the police. If you find her, call my cell phone.” She handed Kat a Post-it with her cell phone number on it.
Kat realized she’d left her own phone in the computer room. As she grabbed her things, thankful she didn’t have another class to teach that afternoon, Silas stepped inside the room.
“I ran into Jenny,” he said, referring to Mrs. Gentry. “Any idea where Emma is?”
Kat checked her coat: purse, keys, phone. Hat. She’d brought a hat—right? She dug around in her bag and found her hat at the bottom.
“No, no idea,” she said in a rush. “I’m going to go looking for her now.”
Silas’s face creased. “Kat, it’s raining. You shouldn’t go out there.”
Kat didn’t have time to argue. “I need to go. I’m going to keep looking in the school first before I go outside.” A few months ago, she would’ve invited Silas to come along, but since he’d been so weird with her staying with Gavin, an awkwardness had formed between them.
“I’ll help. Tell me where to go.”
Kat instantly felt guilty for not including Silas, who just wanted to help. She shouldn’t let personal matters get in the way of finding Emma. “I’m going to search the first floor. Principal Layton has a key to open the janitorial closets, if she somehow got into one. How about you search down here?”
“Will do.” Silas touched Kat’s arm, squeezing it. “We’ll find her. Don’t worry.”
Kat met up with Principal Layton and they split up to cover more of the school. The police were on their way, although Principal Layton had told them to keep things on the down-low so as to not upset the other students. Kat had a feeling Principal Layton wanted to avoid any parents finding out before it was necessary. There was no need to create an entire panic throughout the community.
Kat and Principal Layton—Linda, as she’d insisted Kat call her—began to open one closet after the other. Considering the school was hardly huge, it didn’t take long to see that Emma wasn’t hiding in any of them. Inside the closet she’d hidden in earlier in the school year, Kat pushed aside a mop and lifted up a bucket, as if the young girl could’ve hidden underneath it like some woodland creature.
“How could she have run away without anyone noticing?” Linda’s voice was low and anguished. “And where are the police? It’s been fifteen minutes.”
“What about an Amber alert?” said Kat. “Would that help?”
“I’m not sure if this would count—yet.” Linda rubbed her temples. “Let’s look in the classrooms that aren’t in use.”
Linda unlocked the few classrooms that were mostly for storage—old books, desks, chairs filled one room almost to the ceiling—but no Emma. Right then, the wind started blowing so hard that Kat could hear it whistling from inside the school.
Emma had been doing so much better lately, but something must’ve triggered her into hiding. Kat just prayed that nothing more sinister had happened this time. If Emma had been taken, or was hurt… Gavin wouldn’t survive, she knew that much.
“Wait, did you call Gavin—I mean, Mr. Danvers?” said Kat to Linda.
Linda swore, words that Kat rarely heard at the elementary school. “No. Shit. I was too preoccupied with the police and then I wanted to find you--”
Kat didn’t wait for her to explain further. “I’ve got this. I’ll meet up with you in a second.”
Kat’s heart pounded as she called Gavin. When he didn’t pick up for a long second, she prayed under her breath that he wouldn’t ignore he
r call.
When he finally answered, she could’ve sobbed with relief.
“Gavin,” she said in a shaky voice, “Emma is missing.”
Chapter Sixteen
Gavin had never driven so fast in his entire life. He gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles, praying and begging anyone listening to keep his daughter safe.
Emma had to be safe. She was most likely hiding somewhere, and they just hadn’t found her yet. Rage at the school bubbled over, and he didn’t realize he’d accelerated until he almost ran himself off of the road. He forced himself to slow down, even as it felt like hours before he’d reach the school when it was only across town.
After Gavin had left River’s Bend, Adam had assured him that he’d follow behind him as soon as he found Joy so she could help in the search. Gavin had hardly listened to his brother. Adam could bring the entire family if he wanted, but Gavin wasn’t about to wait around for them all, either.
How had the school lost his daughter? Again? He wanted to throttle someone. He wanted to demand why everyone at that damn school couldn’t keep track of one little girl. If she had gotten hurt, or worse…
He took a deep breath. Then another. The panic he’d felt when he’d found Teagan on the bathroom floor. He hated feeling this helpless, and he couldn’t understand how the past seemed to be repeating itself.
Before he went to the school, he planned to check the apartment. The school was about three miles from home, so although it would be a long walk, it wasn’t an insane thing to think Emma might go home. Gavin had told her about the spare key in the flower pot next to the front door. She could get inside, at least.
At a stoplight, Gavin texted Kat and Adam to let them know he’d be stopping by the apartment first.
The second Gavin put the car in park, he jumped out and jogged to the apartment. Before he went inside, he lifted up the flowerpot: the key was there. Maybe she put it back after using it.
“Emma? Are you in here?” he said as he opened the front door. Despite it still being daylight, the storm rolling in made the apartment especially dark. Gavin flipped on a lamp, saying a second time, “Emma? If you’re here, I’m not mad. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”