by Karin Baine
‘I told them they weren’t needed. They weren’t around yesterday when my personal security was threatened and I survived. I couldn’t very well work efficiently in the midst of the emergency here with them getting in the way or vetting every single person I came into contact with.’ That conversation with Gunnar had been the first step in reasserting herself. She had a long way to go, decisions to make and conversations to have, but Seth had shown her she should be enjoying her life, not simply existing.
‘Good for you. If I’m not careful your father will have me thrown out of the country for being a bad influence on you.’ He laughed but Kaja suspected there was a smidgen of real concern mixed in there too.
‘Don’t worry, Papa is well aware I know my own mind.’ She knew he was still groggy when he’d agreed to get security to back off but he was the same man who’d given into her desire to leave the country and study in England all those years ago. That hadn’t been down to anyone’s influence other than her own, even if Seth had been the main reason for her extended stay.
‘I think you’ve proved your medical worth here today, if that was ever in doubt. You are so much more than a pretty princess, Kaja, and it’s time the rest of the world knew that too.’
Kaja could virtually feel her skin smouldering under his intense gaze. They had to get out of here if they intended to keep their love life under wraps. Eye-sexing each other in the middle of a busy hospital wasn’t being discreet.
‘I...er...mightn’t have given up all of my royal privileges. I hope you won’t think any less of me but I’ve texted for the chauffeur to come and pick me up.’
One step at a time. Perhaps some day she’d start driving herself but not all changes were going to happen overnight.
He didn’t say anything as they left the reception area and she braced herself for criticism about her sense of entitlement or, at the very least, a look of disapproval. Instead, he turned to her once they were outside and simply said, ‘Thank goodness. I don’t think I could walk after the past twenty-four hours and I’m not the one with a dodgy ankle.’
She wanted to kiss this man and, in keeping with her new vow to be true to herself, she did just that. Albeit at the side of the entrance where there was no lighting or prying eyes. Small steps. Big smooches.
When she saw the headlights approaching the front of the hospital instead of parking around the back with the normal visitors she had to let go of him again. At least he knew now it wasn’t a rejection of him but of those around them knowing their business. When they were ensconced in the back seat of the car, Seth reached for her hand and she took it gladly. With him in her corner she knew she could make it through whatever challenges were thrown at her. In her uncertain world she was sure of one thing. Her love for Seth Davenport.
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘NEXT TIME YOU go walkabout in the middle of an earthquake give me a heads up, will you?’ Bruno lit in on Kaja as soon as she walked in through the door, but his tentative hug said he was more pleased to see her than angry at her.
‘I can’t promise you anything but I am sorry I didn’t get to see you before you were discharged.’ He looked so good considering he’d just had surgery the day before, better than she did after a long day on the front line of emergency medicine.
He shook hands with Seth. ‘No worries. I think you had more important things to deal with. Good to see you again, too. Thanks for keeping an eye on my little sis yesterday. I knew we didn’t have to worry too much if she was with you and since you both disappeared at the same time...’
Her brother wasn’t stupid. There was no way he could know exactly what they’d got up to but the wink he gave them implied he was aware something was going on between them. Thankfully he was too polite to ask them outright.
‘Daddy!’ Amy made a flying leap at her father, confident he would catch her. Which he did, holding onto her legs as she wrapped them around his waist and hung her arms around his neck. She was always so overjoyed to see him Kaja was almost moved to tears. The way Seth hugged and made such a fuss of Amy his love for her was unquestionable. She tried to ignore that tug on her heart telling her she would never have that bond with a child of her own so it wouldn’t spoil the moment.
‘Oh, Miss Kaja, you’re so filthy.’ Fatima scuttled over, hands up in horror as she took in the spectacle of her working clothes. An unknown concept in the Alderisi family wardrobe.
‘I did get stuck out there during an earthquake.’ She laughed to cover her embarrassment when everyone else was so clean and tidy in comparison. Thank goodness she’d had at least one change of clothes since yesterday.
‘I know, I know, Mr Davenport told me. You’re so brave and compassionate to go and help those people without thinking about yourself.’
‘I don’t know about that.’ Kaja shied away from the praise. It was circumstance and a desire to be useful that had driven her to act.
‘What other princess would do that? Tell me. Who?’ Fatima demanded from Bruno and Seth and they were stumped to come up with an answer. Which, it turned out, was the correct response. ‘See? Only Miss Kaja.’
‘Seth was there too—’
‘Yes, and when he came home I made him shower and eat too.’ She took Kaja’s hand and tugged her towards the staircase.
‘I wouldn’t try arguing if I was you.’ Seth was openly laughing at her as he swung Amy around so she was hoisted on his hip.
Not even her brother was in her corner. ‘We’ve all had the same treatment. It’s your turn.’
She stuck her tongue out at him when Fatima wasn’t looking, just as she had when they were kids. Like then, Bruno simply laughed it off.
‘You need a nice relaxing bath. I could arrange a massage if you want?’
‘That won’t be necessary, thanks.’ For a moment she truly believed Fatima was going to accompany her upstairs to bathe her. As much as she appreciated the concern Kaja drew the line at that.
‘Well, you need to take it easy. And eat. I will make you something. Yes, I will make dinner for everyone.’ Hands on hips, Fatima decreed that was what was going to happen. A sit-down, home-cooked meal.
‘Thank you, Fatima. That would be lovely.’ Kaja was exhausted, usually this sort of thing would prove even more draining, but as she looked around she realised there was no one else she’d rather be with tonight than the people around her right now. They weren’t all blood relations but they certainly felt like family to her.
* * *
The bath had gone some way to helping her relax. She’d used some perfumed oils and lit some candles and the stresses of the day had begun to melt away. It was only her still-throbbing ankle, now an attractive purple and yellow hue, reminding her of yesterday’s trauma.
She threw on Seth’s old sweatshirt—freshly laundered—and her tracksuit bottoms so she could properly relax for the rest of the evening.
The sound of chatter and the smell of freshly baked bread led her down to the dining room. Amy darted out in front of her just outside the door, almost causing her to trip.
‘Be careful, Amy, that floor can be slippery.’
‘Okay, Kaja. I’m helping Fatima.’
‘Good girl. Remember to walk, don’t run. We don’t want any accidents or you’ll end up like me.’ Kaja showed off her freshly bandaged ankle and watched as the excited child skipped off so full of self-importance at whatever task Fatima had assigned to keep her out of mischief.
She hadn’t intended to eavesdrop but when she heard the men talking she couldn’t bring herself to interrupt the conversation. It would be good for them to get to know each other better if Seth and Amy were going to prove a more permanent feature in her life.
‘Amy’s a real whirlwind. You’re very lucky, Seth.’ Bruno’s voice rendered her immobile.
‘I know. I couldn’t imagine life without her.’
‘And her mother? I haven�
��t heard anybody mention her. Sorry if that’s insensitive of me to ask.’
She could imagine Seth shaking his head to ease her brother’s conscience that he might have inadvertently offended him in some way. ‘Paula left not long after Amy was born. We’re divorced now.’
‘Sorry to hear that. I’m looking forward to marrying Missy and having a family of my own one day. What about you? Do you think you’ll ever do it again?’
‘Absolutely. I’ll make sure to pick the right woman next time. Joking aside though, I can’t wait to settle down again and have more children. I adore being a dad.’
It took a while for the reality of Seth’s words to sink in, Kaja’s heart plummeting when she realised his plans for the future included an extended family she couldn’t provide him. Her heart couldn’t take disappointing him month after month.
Seth was a fantastic dad. It was clear in every second he spent with his daughter and even today when he’d treated that young girl so compassionately. It wouldn’t be fair to deny him the chance of settling down with someone who could give him everything he wanted. More children and the chance to experience it all again. Amy would make a great big sister too. It was Kaja who didn’t fit into that picture-perfect happy family.
Just because she was forced to suffer a childless future it didn’t mean he had to.
Seth was a good man who deserved better than a barren princess who would bring him nothing but pain. Perhaps they should stick to the original plan and let him go back home without her. She shouldn’t expect him to disrupt the life he had with Amy for her sake. Not when she still couldn’t be the woman he needed. Even if she gave up her royal title, her loyalties no longer divided, she was failing him in the most basic fashion. She’d been selfish in not telling him before now simply so she could have him in her life a little longer.
Ending things now had to be better than waiting until he resented her for not giving him a baby. She’d been there before with Benedikt and knew how this panned out: disappointment, accusing fingers and crying herself to sleep every time she didn’t meet expectations.
‘What are you doing out here? Food is on the table going cold. Go, join the others.’ Fatima, closely followed by her little shadow, Amy, both carrying baskets of bread rolls, harried her into the dining room.
Seth and Bruno were pleased to see her and she didn’t think it was merely so they could finally tuck into their dinner. It was unfortunate she was going to have to spoil the evening for one of them.
* * *
‘Much better.’ Seth approved of Kaja’s new attire. It was funny how he found an old baggy sweatshirt on her just as attractive as the expensive couture she wore in public. Probably because it reminded him of the previous life they’d had. One he hoped they’d have again. This time with an alternative ending.
She flashed him a subtle smile and took a seat beside her brother on the opposite side of the table. Amy jumped up on the seat beside Seth, on the cushion they were using as a booster seat so she could see over the table. It was how he imagined a medieval banqueting table would look in terms of the amount of food and the length of the actual table, although the assortment of shining cutlery and obviously expensive china created an altogether more regal experience. He wasn’t used to all this pomp and ceremony for dinner. Usually, if Amy had already been fed by the childminder, he settled for dinner on a tray in front of the TV.
‘I was just telling Seth the hospital rumour mill was working overtime today.’ Bruno poured Kaja a glass of wine so she could catch up with the one they’d already downed waiting for her.
‘Oh?’ Seth noticed the wary look in her eyes. She probably assumed the worst, the way he had when Bruno had mentioned it to him too, but she didn’t need to worry. Their al fresco tryst remained a secret as far as he knew.
‘Yes, you impressed quite a few with your dedication, pitching in with everybody else. I mean, I know you were there too, Seth, but people don’t expect to see anyone from the royal family getting their hands dirty in the midst of a crisis.’ Bruno was very matter-of-fact about the way his family was viewed by the public. Unlike his sister, he didn’t seem to care a jot what other people thought of him.
It was always different for men, of course; they weren’t judged as much as their female counterparts on their looks or their relationships. However, Seth got the impression Bruno wouldn’t compromise his sense of self for anyone.
‘It wasn’t anything I hadn’t done before. Just because you haven’t been down at the coalface, big bro, doesn’t mean I haven’t.’
‘Well, I heard you had to staple a man’s scalp back together.’
‘True.’
‘And the kid impaled on the handlebars?’
‘Also true.’
‘What about the baby you single-handedly delivered in the back of the ambulance.’
‘Not true. There were three of us.’
Seth scooped some of the pasta dish Fatima had made for them onto Amy’s plate before serving himself while the siblings discussed some of the patient stories that had circulated about Kaja’s time at the hospital. He devoured the cheesy, creamy comfort food as though he hadn’t eaten all day. If he stayed here much longer letting Fatima fatten him up he might have to invest in some trousers with an elastic waist. Goodness knew how Kaja kept her svelte figure. Stress, he supposed. It was impossible to enjoy a hearty meal properly if your stomach was constantly in knots with worry.
Even now he noticed her picking at her dinner, not eating more than a forkful or two. He’d have a chat with her later to put her mind at ease that no one had mentioned the possibility of a romance between them in his presence. After Amy and the others went to bed he was looking forward to having some alone time again with Kaja. Libido aside, they needed to figure out how they were going to make this work between them. If she was as unhappy as she appeared here and so keen to get back to work, he hoped it wouldn’t take too much to persuade her to return to England with him once her father was fully recovered.
‘No more hospital talk, please. People are trying to eat.’ After hearing one too many surgical procedures Fatima held her hands up to her ears, although she was the only one who seemed bothered. Amy was more concerned with getting a second helping of pasta than any hospital drama.
‘Sorry, Fatima,’ Kaja and Bruno chorused, sounding nothing of the sort. He could imagine the two of them as mischievous children running rings around her when she was the only one giving them any attention without their parents around.
‘I told Dad what you’d been doing. He was very impressed.’
‘I don’t know why. I am a qualified surgeon. I worked in England for a long time in the emergency department and I do the same here once a week, as he very well knows.’ Kaja stabbed her pasta.
‘He’s very old-fashioned when it comes to our roles. Perhaps it’s different now he knows it’s not some vanity project you’re running. It could be that he’s going through some sort of epiphany. After all, he’s received a second chance at life.’
‘Thanks to you.’
‘Thanks to all of us. If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t have got Seth here involved, and Fatima has been the one keeping us all going. Not to forget Amy, who is a ray of sunshine here and I’m sure will play a part in Dad’s recovery.’ Bruno held up his glass of wine. ‘To us.’
‘To us,’ the rest of them toasted along with him. Including Amy with her beaker of milk.
Kaja set down her glass and her cutlery, abandoning any pretence she was eating. ‘I’ve decided to go back to medicine full time.’
‘That’s a big deal, sis. There will be a lot of logistics to consider. People to consult.’
‘I’m aware of that but I can serve the country better that way.’ For the first time since bringing up the subject she looked at Seth.
‘You’re staying here?’ He didn’t care that no one else was aware there
was a different option available to her if she chose. She did. He’d really believed this was going to be their second chance. If she was expecting him to fall into line with her decision and relocate here permanently, uprooting Amy from everything she knew, she really should’ve consulted him on the matter first.
‘Yes.’
‘Oh, Miss Kaja, you are a very honourable woman. Your mother would be so proud.’ Fatima, close to tears at the news, rose from her seat and threw her arms around Kaja’s neck in a hug. Bruno remained seated, his gaze travelling between her and Seth.
Seth couldn’t move even if he wanted to.
‘You’re really going to give everything up here for the stress and drama of an emergency department?’
‘Give up what, Bruno? I don’t have anything I’m not willing to drop to give my life some meaning.’ She didn’t look at Seth but every word was a thousand daggers plunging into his flesh. There were so many reasons for him to take offence in that one simple sentence. Apparently he was nothing.
That wasn’t what she’d told him hours earlier when they were planning a future together. She’d told him she was giving up her position to do what she wanted in life. Now, suddenly he wasn’t a part of that? If she’d changed her mind and decided he wasn’t worth giving up her position for after all, there were kinder ways to do it. She could’ve broken it to him in private, for a start. There was no way she wouldn’t have known how hurtful those words would be and she had to have a reason why she’d wanted to wound him so deeply. By doing this to him in company she was denying him the chance to call her out on those empty promises she’d made. Not that it mattered now, when the damage had already been done.
He was mad at himself for falling for her all over again and believing her vow to speak to her father. She’d probably only said it to stop him hounding her when he’d been pushing her so hard to give him the answer he wanted to hear. Now she’d had time to think it through, a life with him wasn’t any more attractive to her than it was five years ago.