When he looks in my eyes, with his gorgeous hazel gaze and a sweet smile on his full lips, I can't help but smile back.
11.
Blast From The Past
TUNA: THIRTY FIVE POINTS
Alex: zero points
Sam: zero points
EM: zero points
Sam
“SO, YOU WANNA THROW her a birthday party?”
Alex nods and beckons me to sit on his bed by his side to show me his laptop:
“Ayla mentioned that she loves Korean BBQ, so I found this caterer that will set that up for us in the pool house. We could pick her up in the morning and we could hang out at the beach.”
“Are we gonna get her presents?”
He shrugs:
“What birthday would it be without? But everyone’s free to do what they want. I’ve already got—”
I look at the top drawer of his dresser: that's Alex’s presents drawer.
He buys presents in bulk basically and then if he happens to go out with someone during the holidays or with some of the girls who are known for only sleeping with guys who buy them presents, he just selects something random from his drawer.
He follows my gaze and shakes his head:
“No! I’m not giving her a random present! She told me that she's a huge fan of Lady Gaga, so I got tickets to her next date in LA and I got VIP passes. I can't wait to take her.”
“Dude! You're really into her!”
“I don’t know why, Sam. I mean, yeah, she's fucking hot but... I...”
I nod.
“I understand how you feel. This is why I think that we should forget about that stupid bet.”
He shakes his blonde head, his eyes dark with stubborn determination:
“No! She hurt me, Sam. We’re doing this! At least until I’m sure that she didn't agree to go out with me to get to you.”
“Alex, honestly, I kissed her first.”
“And she let you. And she let Tuna. And I was the only one that she kept saying no to. This is gonna be over when I win. Because I’ll fucking win. Then I’ll decide if I still wanna date her.”
I honestly don't understand my best friend sometimes.
“But you just said that you like her.”
He shrugs.
“I do. Until she inevitably shows me that she doesn't care about me or that she has an agenda.”
“Alex, I don’t think Ayla's like that.”
“Then win the bet!”
Ayla
I WAKE UP ON SATURDAY morning stretching my arms above my head and sighing realising two things:
A) today’s my eighteenth birthday.
B) it's not a school day, so I won't be seeing Tuna this morning.
It's sad and a relief at the same time: while I can't stop thinking about our last study session two days ago, remembering his kisses and his touch.
The things he made me feel...
At the same time, I need time to process my feelings because: does the fact that every time I think about him, my heart starts galloping like crazy and that I miss him mean that I’ve made my choice?
Obviously not, because when Alex called me last night minutes after dropping me off at home and kissing me on my door step and we fell asleep talking. I like him too much to give him up, despite the fact that he’s... Alex.
And that means that he's a bossy, crazy out of control force of nature.
Then there's Sam: he asked me to spend the afternoon with him tomorrow and I can't wait.
He’s the sweetest of the three, always so quiet and caring but that doesn't mean that I like him any less.
Being with him feels so natural and easy and he's so different than the asshole jock I thought he was on the first day of school.
That side of him only seems to appear when he’s around Michelle and only if his ex provokes him or me.
Because Sam has a definite protective streak that makes me feel safe around him.
However today I feel relieved that Tuna isn't dropping by to pick me up, because my Mom took the day off, despite my refusal to have a party or invite any of my friends for dinner.
I could have probably asked Jenna and Char but I know that if Alex had caught wind of it, he would have felt rejected and that would have landed me in really hot water with him.
And I don't want to hurt him, because when he isn't trying to rule the school or act like a crazy alpha male, I really like him and I don't wanna jeopardise our recent friendship.
I think he finally understood that if he wants to be my boyfriend, it can't only be about trying to get laid, I want to get to know the real him and him to get to know me.
I couldn't have really invited my three boys to hang out with my super strict Mom: I don't think those three could tone it down and act just like three school friends.
And I’m in no way ready to explain my complicated love life to my Mother.
I take a shower and don a little pink summer dress: it's the beginning of October and in Southern California this still means summer weather.
I step into the kitchen and inhale the smell of butter wafting from the oven, smiling because Mom’s making my favourite breakfast on earth: biscuits and gravy.
“Hey, baby girl! Happy birthday!”
I walk into her warm embrace and she whispers against the top of my head:
“Not a baby anymore! Before I know it, you'll be at Yale and have a boyfriend and get married and—”
She doesn't know the half of it and I choose not to enlighten her about the boyfriend situation.
Ben walks into the kitchen looking still sleepy but as soon as he sees me, he comes to give me a big hug: we haven't talked about that joint yet because I’ve been preoccupied with school and... Three hot boys who’ve definitely changed my life.
We’re about to sit down to eat breakfast, when the doorbell rings.
Mom sighs.
“Ayla, baby, do you mind getting the door for me, please?”
I go to open the door expecting the mailman and I’m happy that I wasn't still chewing my delicious mouthful of biscuits and gravy, because I’d have definitely choked if I were.
Sean is standing on the other side of my front door: a little taller than I remember him but his brown eyes are as warm as I remember them and his brown hair sweeps on his forehead in that sexy way that made me fall for him when we were little more than kids.
He smiles big, crinkles forming at the side of his eyes and he drops the duffel bag he was holding to wrap me in a hug that feels strange and familiar at the same time.
I haven't seen Sean since the last day of school of junior year and regardless, after the famous kiss during spring break, we’d hardly talked and only hung out when our moms were around.
And fuck, if I still feel raw and hurt about that drunken kiss, my first kiss...
But mostly for the way he didn't take his portion of responsibility for kissing me and for having blamed me about the fight he then had with Clara.
And I don't even know if I’m more mad for the way he took my first kiss as if it wasn't something important, for how he blamed me for the issues in his relationship with his ex and then ditched me when his girlfriend issued an ultimatum or for how hypocritical he was, not following the high standard he pretended to uphold... because I found out, when we weren't talking anymore, that not only he’s had sex with Clara but also with a few more girls after Clara dumped him for our school’s basketball captain.
I don't know how long I stood there glaring at him after he released me but I return to reality quite abruptly, when Mom and Ben come to the door and give Sean a much warmer welcome than I did.
We’re all sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast like we’ve done millions of times since Sean and I were in high chairs but I’ve lost all my appetite and I know that I’m not even looking at him because I fear that if I do, I’ll make a spectacle of myself.
I haven't forgiven him for taking my first kiss, for sacrificing our friendship to a
relationship that didn't even last six months, for lying to me about who he is, for not making contact with me once since we made the move to California.
After asking him how the flight was, Mom turns to me:
“Happy Birthday, baby girl! I’ve been planning this surprise since the first day of school! I know how much you’ve been missing Sean!”
Yeah, like you miss bad period cramps.
But I don't say that: I nod at Mom with what I hope is a convincing smile and glare at Sean for good measure, just in case he doesn't know that I’m NOT happy to see him and I definitely didn't ask Mom to invite him here.
Mom takes away the breakfast plates and she’s chattering away happily with ideas of how to celebrate my day, when I'm kicked under the table, hard.
“Ouch! What the fuck’s wrong with you?”
I scowl deeper, while reaching to massage the ankle he just kicked.
He lowers his head too, meeting my eyes under the table.
“Why are you so mad? I thought you’d be happy to see me after inviting me to visit.”
“I haven't invited you to shit! Thank my Mother for that! And thank me for not telling her what a hypocritical asshole you really are.”
I lift myself back to a seated position and refuse to meet his eyes again.
I’m still thinking about a way to get rid of Sean and salvage what's left of my birthday, when the doorbell rings again.
Ben is about to get up from his chair but I stand up so quickly and abruptly that my chair falls to the floor.
“I’ll go!”
I run before anyone else has the chance to beat me to it and open the front door, ready to engage in conversation with the mailman or whoever is on the other side of that door.
Anything to have something else to do rather than talk to my ex best friend.
“Happy Birthday, Ayla!”
Jenna and Char are at the door and I spot Alex, Sam, Tuna, Josh and EM right behind them.
“I... I... Thank you?”
The girls hug me and kiss me and Alex is about to take a step towards me when I shake my head just in time before my Mom, Ben and Sean appear behind me.
I know there might be hell to pay later for not letting him hug me and he’ll probably remind me how he doesn't do rejection but I can never predict what Alex will do and I can't risk one of his violently hot kisses in front of my family.
“What are you guys doing here?”
I ask still baffled by their presence at my house this early on a Saturday morning.
Jenna narrows her eyes and smirks at me before folding her arms over her chest in one of her stubborn stances.
“Did you really think that you could hide the fact that today’s your eighteenth birthday?”
“Well, I—”
She interrupts me:
“First of all Facebook tells you, duh! Second of all, we’re your friends and we're supposed to know this shit. Sorry, ma’am...”
She apologises when she notices my Mom flinch at her language.
“But basically, we decided to surprise you with a day at the beach and a BBQ party at Alex's tonight! I even ordered the biggest chocolate cake you’ve ever seen in Beverly Hills!”
I don't know what to say: I wanna cry, that's really my first reaction.
I wanna cry because of how thoughtful this is: these guys have known me for a month and they decided to surprise me for my birthday, organising a day at the beach and a party!
I wanna cry because I can't go with them since Mom has taken the day off...
But mostly, I wanna cry because Sean’s here and he was the last person I wanted to see today.
So now, how do I prevent my Mom from inviting everybody to stay for lunch?
She'll know what's going on between me and the boys before one of them even takes my hand or kisses me on the cheek.
“Guys, that's so thoughtful! Thank you! But my Mom has taken the whole day off and—”
“Well actually Ayla—’
Mom begins not looking me in the eye.
“Lots of officers called in sick yesterday and the command asked if any of us could do overtime. If you wanna go to the beach with your friends, I could do with the extra money. Just make sure that you, Ben and Sean are home by midnight for our traditional midnight bowl of ice cream. But you guys are all invited if you want to join us ... I’m sure Ayla will tell you the story behind our family tradition. But I had ice cream cravings while I was giving birth to her and—”
“Yes, Mom. I’ll tell ‘em.”
I love her to death but sometimes she's so embarrassing!
After packing a bikini and an outfit for tonight's party, Ben, Sean and I walk towards my friends cars.
Mom’s already gone to work and when I go to Jenna's car, I’m not surprised to feel a strong arm surround my middle and pull me back against an equally strong chest.
His woodsy and spicy scent tells me who it is even before his deep voice gets my body to react with an excited little shiver.
“No, birthday girl. You're riding with me.”
I look into Alex’s blue eyes and smile: I really think he's incredibly sweet to offer his house for my birthday party.
“Ok, come on guys...”
I look at my brother and glare at Sean.
“Actually sis, would you be terribly mad at me if I skipped the beach and the party? Our neighbour Jason and a couple of his friends are hanging out at the skate park and then doing pizza and video games tonight. I’d rather hang with them, I don't know your friends so—”
A part of me wants to tell him no and it's the part that found that joint in his pocket and who's been too busy with her heavy course work and three certain hot boys to actually talk to him about it.
What if he does something wrong or dangerous when he’s high? How do I know that this Jason guy and his friends are not a bad influence?
I look at him and sigh: if I force him to come with us, he's gonna be miserable all day and I already have Sean to deal with today.
Maybe it's selfish of me but I decide to let him do what he wants, so I’ll have one less thing to worry about.
However, he's still my little brother and I’m still worried about him, so I gently free myself from Alex’s hold and take Ben to the side:
“I don't mind if you go with your friends but... Please don't do anything stupid or illegal? Or nothing that would land us in hot water with Mom.”
He gives me a little knowing smirk.
“I’ll be all right. And about not doing anything that would make Mom mad... I guess you're the pot calling the kettle black.”
“I... What?”
“Ayla, first Sam came to pick you up for what was obviously a date. Then Tuna drives you to school everyday and I see the way you two look at each other. Now this other guy... Alex? Yeah, he’s all over you. So, I’d say that you’ve been busy...”
I’m about to say something but he takes my hand and deposits a kiss on my cheek.
“Don't worry, I won't tell Mom as long as you try not to be a pain in my ass, ok? Just don't get pregnant, please?”
“Ben, I’m not... I don't—”
He starts walking away.
“Happy birthday, sis! See you tonight for ice cream!”
“Everything ok?”
Alex is very thoughtful these days and I nod, stepping closer to him again.
He looks at Sean with his normal unwelcoming look and gestures with his chin towards EM’s Jeep.
“My Porsche has only got two seats. John, you can ride with EM.”
“It’s Sean!”
My former bestie’s tone is as irritated as Alex’s smirk is satisfied.
“Yeah, whatever. You're not gonna be here long enough for me to have to bother remembering your name. Let's go baby!”
He opens his car door for me, as we leave a stunned Sean probably still trying to find a smart come back.
Before buckling up, Alex brushes my lips with his and then we drive off leading all
the others.
“Alex, when you wanted to kiss me before... I wasn't trying to reject you, I—”
He surprises me by smiling, relaxed like I’ve rarely seen him.
“Don't worry, I actually get it. I’d have kissed your cheek by the way in front of your Mom. But if you prefer that we all keep our distance when she's around... I wouldn't want my Dad to stick his nose in my private life, so we’re ok. It's not like you kissed Sam or Tuna in front of her. But later, just be aware that I won't stay away on the account of Sean, ok?”
I shrug.
“I don't want you to. Look, he just arrived, literally twenty minutes before you guys came over. I had no idea that my Mom invited him. I haven't spoken to him in months. And truly, I haven't spoken to him since the morning after that kiss. After that, whenever our families got together, I just stayed away from him. He's shown me that he wasn't a real friend and that he couldn't have cared less about me. So I don't even know what he's doing here and I allowed him to come with us only because otherwise, I wouldn't know how to explain leaving him behind to my Mom.”
Alex ponders what I just told him for a few moments and then he asks:
“Does your Mom know how he treated you?”
I shake my head.
“No. Bella, Sean's Mom, is her best friend. Her only friend, really. And she obviously has no idea that Sean’s a hypocrite and an asshole. He plays the part of the good boy who gets good grades and goes to church. He gave me a speech about how our kiss was wrong and all my fault but the fact that he was fucking his girlfriend and a few other girls at school after she dumped him...”
Alex doesn't say anything, so I explain:
“It's not that I'm bitter because he didn't love me back, Alex. Of course that hurt like a bitch but what I can't forgive is that he made me feel like shit about it and then he ditched me. Sometimes I think that he just wanted to prove to himself that he could have me if he wanted to. You know, like a bet with himself. Once he knew that I liked him, he immediately lost interest. What hurts the most is that what he did, kissing me, ended our friendship and he didn't even care. He never said he was sorry and now he acts all surprised and as if he doesn't understand why I’m mad.”
The Initiation: A High School Light Bully Romance (Beverly Hills Prep Academy Book 1) Page 13