I flinch at the mention of my former bestie but I explain.
“No, never. Sean and I kissed once and he wasn't who I thought he was. We aren't friends anymore. And by the way, dude, why do you sound so surprised that I haven't done it yet? Have you?”
Ben doesn't look at me, suddenly embarrassed.
“What? You’ve had sex? You're only fifteen! Who? And are you using protection?”
Ben sighs and reluctantly answers my questions.
“Jason’s sister. We're kinda dating. She's sixteen and yeah, we're being careful. She gets condoms at school.”
“Ben, I don't know how I feel about this. You're too young ...”
His reaction doesn't surprise me.
“That's bullshit! How about you and three guys then, huh? How should I feel about that?”
“But I—”
“Don't say that you're eighteen because if Mom heard about it—”
This is isn't going well.
“You can't tell Mom!”
His retort isn't angry: he knows he has me cornered.
“Yeah, well ... I won't if you don't tell her about me and Kat. And I’ll have dinner with you but then I’ll split and go hang with Kat and Jason and my other friends at the skate park, ok?”
“Ok. But be home by curfew and text me when you get home, we might all go to hangout at Alex's later. And we can pick you up if needed.”
Our conversation is cut short by Alex’s text that he’s outside: I think I need to meet my brother's new friends to make sure that they're all right.
That joint could only come from one of them and I wanna make sure that they aren't trouble for my brother.
Alex
SHE LOOKS LIKE A PRINCESS: classy, gorgeous and so fucking sweet.
I knew it would be torture watching her play girlfriend to Sam only but I understand why Sam asked us to introduce her to his parents without mentioning that she's dating us all.
‘Mom, Dad, this is Ayla and we’re sharing her’ is a bit much even for Cheryl who’s seen us grow up together and share everything...
So I’m polite, I cuddle with ‘Mom’ and play with Aidan, Sam’s little brother.
I try to make conversation with Ben but Ayla's younger brother is polite but pretty quiet and he seems relieved to excuse himself after dinner, as soon as it's polite to do so.
I just follow her with my eyes all day: she’s perfect and I know that Cheryl and Keith, Sam’s stepdad, are impressed and ecstatic that their son found such a great girlfriend.
Especially because Cheryl never made it a mystery that she didn't like Michelle.
After all the guests leave, Sam’s parents excuse themselves to go to a cocktail party at their country club.
Sam is asked to watch Aidan, Tuna goes to volunteer at a soup kitchen like he does every year on this day and I finally take Ayla's hand and ask her to see a movie with me.
She feels guilty about leaving Sam and would like to stay and help him with Aidan but I need some time alone with my beautiful girl and when I tell her, she rewards me with the sweetest smile and calls dibs on choosing the movie.
I drive fast: I wanna hold her close and kiss her and damn with my obsession for manual transmissions, there's still some traffic and I need to shift a lot, so I can't hold her hand until we park in my driveway.
The pool house is the best place to be: I definitely don't want another surprise video call from my Father tonight.
“So, what do you wanna watch?”
She asks and I can't resist teasing her.
“I thought you just called dibs on choosing the movie?”
She shrugs.
“I’ve never been able to watch a movie with you by my side. You're way too distracting. Since our first date, remember?”
I chuckle.
“I was trying to make out with you in that movie theatre and you wouldn't have any of it.”
“Of course not! We’d barely exchanged ten words since meeting for the first time!”
I grab her hand and pull her closer to me.
“With any other girl, it took me less than five words.”
She hugs my waist and lifts her face up to look in my eyes:
“Hmm... You can try and see where five words take you. I don't promise anything ...”
Her light floral scent is driving me crazy and I inhale on the soft skin of her neck.
“Seriously, if you're not bothered about a movie, what about the stars? It isn't cold and I can light the fire pit.”
“That's a lot of words ...”
She giggles and I give her ass a little smack, pushing her out to the backyard.
The night sky is clear and once I have the fire going and some pillow and blankets on one of the wooden sun beds from the pool, we settle with her in my arms.
There are lots of stars in the sky but I only have eyes for her and when I kiss her, I take my time to taste her plump lips before I even trace the seam of them with my tongue.
I don't know for how long I explore her mouth, tonight it's only the two of us and I missed being completely alone with her.
But eventually our kisses deepen, her fingers play with the short hair at the nape of my neck and my hands find the swell of her breasts.
I push aside the soft fabric of her dress and start toying with the softest skin I’ve ever touched.
Her breathing starts speeding up when my fingers almost skim her nipple but not quite.
Her reaction to my teasing makes me more excited than I can bear: her nipples harden, begging for my attention and she nips at my bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth and moaning softly, trying to push her chest closer to me.
When I finally give her what she wants and my fingers reach for her nipple, I feel her clench her thighs together and her heart is beating fast under my finger tips.
Our kisses become hotter and more demanding and my hands wander all over her body, peeling her dress off and helping her take my shirt and slacks off too.
The feeling of her skin against mine is something so good that I know in that moment that tonight I won't stop, I can't stop.
My hands become more daring, stroking her slowly at first and then increasing the pressure until she screams her pleasure against my skin, holding me tight.
I kiss every inch of her body, slowly, until my lips stop on her lower stomach to travel back up to her mouth.
Our bodies are touching everywhere and there's nothing between us: no sky, no stars, no moon.
All that matters is us and our need for each other, until my tip touches the silky skin of her opening and I don't move away but push towards her without force, to tell her what I’m gonna do next.
And then she tenses: I feel her thighs tighten up together and she's trembling in my arms, her green eyes huge and scared.
“Baby, don’t tremble ...”
I whisper against her lips and her voice comes out barely perceptible: I feel her words more than hear them.
“Alex, I’m scared. I’m scared that it’ll hurt.”
I cup her jaw with one hand but don't move another muscle:
“Ayla, I can't hurt you ... I won't hurt you. I love you too much. Let me show you how much I want you and how good I can make you feel. Just look at me and breathe with me, baby.”
She brushes her lips on mine and says yes.
Her muscles relax and I enter her slowly: the first few inches are the most difficult, that's where I feel a little resistance and I kiss her harder, to take her mind off the pain I’m inflicting.
Soon I’m completely sheathed inside of her and the feeling is so amazing that I have to be careful not to let us both down.
“Are you all right, baby?”
She nods and lets out a little gasp when I begin moving and thrusting very slowly at first, to give her time to get used to the new feeling of having me inside her.
I’m making myself go slow and be gentle: if I hurt her, I would never forgive myself.
And it's really hard at
first because her soft heat is something so sleek and wet that it drives me crazy with want.
I gradually increase the speed of my thrusts, going deeper with each one, feeling her body stretch to accommodate my every inch.
I don't feel anymore resistance, I feel her melting around me, her hips trying to meet my movements, her hands hugging my waist.
“Alex ...”
She moans when I add the touch of my finger on her centre and start moving the way my body demands.
I want this to feel good for her too, so I work on the spot where she loves to be touched until I feel her tightening around me and I know that I’ve lost my battle against myself.
“Fuck, you’re so tight, Ayla—”
“Alex don’t stop ...”
“Never, baby ... Let go now, I wanna watch you while you come.”
And she doesn't make me ask twice: her muscles start contracting around my hardness and I feel my hot release fill her as I plunge into her body one last time.
“I love you, Ayla.”
“I love you too.”
I wrap the blanket around us to keep her warm and kiss her softly before slipping into a satisfied sleep.
I think that there's no better feeling in the world than Ayla's head on my chest and her soft body in my arms.
Ayla
THIS TIME ALEX HAS set an alarm to avoid sleeping until the morning: even if Mom was working all night, I’d still need to be home for Ben and I wake up when I realise that he hasn't called nor texted when he got home from the skate park like we agreed.
“Alex ...”
I whisper and I can't help it but feel my heart beat faster and butterflies take residence in my stomach when I see the look in his dark blue eyes.
I take just one moment to think that I made love to him; that this gorgeous, sexy, at times infuriatingly bossy boy made me feel things that I didn't know were possible.
“Baby, are you all right? Do you hurt anywhere?”
I shake my head and give him a soft kiss.
“I’m just a little sore but it's a good sore.”
“Ayla, that was—”
“I know.”
A slow smile spreads on his lips and he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear.
“Is it already time to drive you home?”
“Almost. But If you don't mind, I’d rather go now: Ben hasn't texted or called and if he isn't there when my Mom gets home ...”
“Of course, baby. But can't you see where he's at? Track his phone?”
“I’d rather check. He could've left his phone at home on purpose.”
“Ok, then. Let's go.”
He helps me collect my clothes and while we walk to his car, he keeps his hands on me.
He touches me with a new possessiveness and I relish his touch and the way he looks at me as if I was the most precious thing in the world.
We don't say much during the short drive home: I’m worried about my brother’s whereabouts but at the same time, I can't help but replay every moment of tonight and I feel a delicious anticipation of being in Alex's arms again soon.
But all my romantic and sexy thoughts literally evaporate when I walk through the front door of my house and smell something burning in the kitchen.
I rush into the room and gasp in horror: do you know the kitchen in Gremlins after the little creatures have taken over?
That’s how my kitchen looks: every small or big appliance has been used, every bowl, spoon and plate is dirty and there's a frying pan on the stove with something burning in it.
My brother is sitting at the table in front of a plate of bacon, eating each piece of it with one hand and dipping the other hand in a giant bag of hot Cheetos.
“What the fuck?”
I yell, turning the stove off and Ben’s reaction isn't what I’d expect: instead of being worried, he snaps at me annoyed that I turned the gas burner off.
“Hey! Those were my pancakes!”
I take a step towards him:
“Those might've been pancakes twenty minutes ago! Now they are charcoal! And you're lucky that the sprinklers and the smoke alarm didn't come on or—”
He shrugs.
“I was hungry. You’ve got to try this! I made a bacon and tuna sandwich with avocado. It was fucking awesome! Now I'm still hungry and while I was waiting for my pancakes, I discovered that bacon and Cheetos together are the bomb!”
“Yeah, they are the bomb, all right. The kitchen definitely looks like a bomb went off in it.”
Alex has been standing at the kitchen door this whole time, listening to the exchange between me and my brother and he decides to come close.
“Ben ... what did you take, dude?”
Ben finds it hilarious and chuckles.
“Why don't you and my sis try to guess? You have three tries, if you win, I’ll make you a bacon, tuna and avocado sandwich, if you lose, you’re taking me out for pancakes!”
“What the fuck—”
I begin but Alex stops me.
“You obviously smoked pot because I can smell it on your clothes. And you got the munchies. What else did you take?”
Ben shrugs again.
“I don't know, it was a purple and green pill. It makes everything so funny ...”
His breathing is really fast and his pupils are dilated, his face is flushed red and he speaks so fast ...
I panic.
“Ben, how could you? Mom was clear that if you wanted to be treated like an adult and be allowed to take that job, you needed to be responsible. She’ll make you quit and we’ll be on the first flight to Illinois as soon as she works her notice at the station! You’ve—”
He complains like a little child who's having a temper tantrum.
“I don't wanna go back to Illinois! There I was a loser! I had no friends and no money. Here I got all that and fucking is so great! Kat lets me fuck her whenever I want. But I don't have to tell you how cool fucking is, you know better than me! You're fucking three guys!”
Alex and I don't bother correcting his assumption but my boyfriend takes control of the situation and the calm and firm way he treats Ben makes me fall deeper in love with him.
“Ok, ok ... yes, fucking’s the absolute best. But Ayla is right that your Mom can't find you this way. Even if maybe you’d deserve it. But I don't wanna lose your sister and you need help, dude. So, here's what we’ll do: we’ll go to my house and Ayla, you’ll text your Mom that a bunch of us including Ben are spending the night. She shouldn't have a problem if your brother’s with us, right?”
“No, but ... the kitchen. She’ll be home in a couple of hours and—”
“It’s taken care of it: while you text your Mom, I’m calling the cleaning company I use to clean up the pool house after I throw a big party.”
“But it's the middle of the night on thanksgiving.”
Alex shrugs.
“I’ll pay triple their urgent fee and give them each a twenty per cent tip if they send a big team and have this place spotless in one hour: so they won't miss Black Friday and have a good chunk of money to go and enjoy the sales. Come on, baby. Help me get your brother into my car. Thank god I drove the SUV and not the Porsche.”
“But I was waiting for my pancakes!”
Ben whines dragging his feet and I swear to god that Alex is a saint: he promises that we’ll stop at a diner for some pancakes to take home.
I would've just punched my brother where he would've been way less enthusiastic about fucking in the very near future.
After Ben eats his pancakes, Alex helps me tuck him into one of the guest rooms.
“Alex, thank you so much! I don't know what I’d have done without you tonight.”
He wraps his arms around me and I put my head on his chest, feeling safe and grateful at the same time.
“Ayla, when I say that I love you, I mean it. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, baby. And anyway, later we’ll speak to your brother and decide what the next step is. If he needs re
hab or maybe something like AA. We need to keep an eye on him and make sure that he doesn't do this again. I’ll cut him a deal: if he goes to this rehab centre I know nearby for at least one hour every day, we won't tell your Mom about him getting high. But I’ll watch him like a hawk. Trust me, I’ve got tons of experience with addicts. However, you might wanna tell your Mom about the ... fucking. Just make sure that she talks to him about being safe.”
I hug him tighter: I’m not only worried about going back to Illinois if Mom finds out what Ben’s been up to.
I know the guys would wait for me, until we're all at Yale next year. And if they didn't ... maybe that would tell me that what I thought we had wasn't real after all.
But I think the bond I’ve got with them is something more than a high school crush.
What worries me is that Ben doesn't seem to realise that he's throwing his future away.
I’ll tell Mom about the sex but I think I need to go talk to Kat and see first hand what we’re up against.
One thing I know for sure: I’m thankful for having Alex by my side in all this.
19.
Boys Will Be Boys
TUNA: FORTY POINTS
Alex: forty points (but really he’s the winner)
Sam: twenty five points (but really forty six)
EM: zero points (but he really is out of the game)
Tuna
I DROP AYLA OFF AT the entrance to the BHPA Library Building: today we’ve got a free period at the beginning of our school day and she works at the library as her extracurricular activity.
Our football season ended just before Thanksgiving and we won our division: the school plans to eventually go and compete with other schools, including the public ones for state championships but they'll start the qualifying season next year and the guys and I won't be here.
Today we have tryouts for lacrosse, we play it every year: it's a bit more violent than football but a whole lot of fun and Alex is obviously the team captain.
Once all the tryouts are over, we still have time before we have to be in class and Alex ushers us to an empty classroom to talk.
The Initiation: A High School Light Bully Romance (Beverly Hills Prep Academy Book 1) Page 23