Either way, it was time to travel to the frozen north—something her A’chrya warned her against. Ellie closed the journal she had been reading and retired to her bedchamber to find a fur-lined cloak and pack for her journey. Taeben was but a low hum in the back of her mind, and as she filled her backpack, she worked on strengthening those barriers against him. If he discovered her real plan, she was confident he would kill her, and she was not ready to die just yet.
Twenty-Two
Heading for La’al Drygyr
Sath and Gin wasted no time in leaving the mist-shrouded inn as they headed northeast toward La’al Drygyr. Every time they made a stop to rest, Gin was meditating, trying desperately to reach the other guardians for help with this ‘red dragon.’ She remembered reading in one of Draoch’s journals that the Guardians were created by Omerith, the red dragon—she only hoped that this la’al drygyr was the same creature, or at the least, his offspring. In theory, she and Sath should be able to make the bond with Omerith because of their Guardian ancestry, but she had discovered that nothing in this realm was the same as it was back home. Nothing at all.
They only stopped when Sath needed to rest. When Gin grew weary, he would pick her up and carry her for an hour or so, letting her get some sleep in his arms. It seemed to Gin that they had been walking forever. After several days a large body of water came into view; Sath agreed to a quick run through the lake to rid himself of the blood and gore from the attack at the inn, but Gin had lingered a long time in the water. It was the first real bath she’d had since they left Qatu’anari, and she remained there, swimming about and floating on her back as her tunic billowed along on top of the water. Sath perched on the shore and watched her protectively, seeming fascinated by her love for what he deemed a vile substance.
Finally, Sath convinced Gin to leave the water, and they were back on their way. Gin’s feet and head throbbed, but her healing spell only alleviated the pain for a short time. They decided to head north in case the shoreline was actually the ocean and not just an inlet, and Gin was starting to worry that they would not be able to find the home of the red dragon, but she kept her fears to herself. Clearly, the Mother Dragon did not want her to reach the red dragon—but they had beaten her test at the inn and come away mostly unscathed. Mostly.
Though they kept to the paths that lead along the base of the mountains, occasionally, they had to head upward to avoid places where the shoreline came right up to the trail. Sath offered help as much as he could, knowing that Gin did not have his race’s innate climbing ability, but she only accepted when she absolutely had to do so to keep from plummeting to the cavern floor below. She loved the bright green boughs of the trees and the flowering plants they could see at a distance from their mountain perch. Sath noticed Gin looking out toward the green fields and smiled.
“Beautiful up here, isn’t it?” Sath asked as they crossed a small hilly range. “Reminds me of home.”
“I’d be more amazed if I saw this from Beau’s saddle,” Gin groused. She missed her supernatural pony, both due to fatigue from walking and the companionship he provided. The pony had been hers for so many seasons that it seemed wrong somehow not to hear his whinny or the snuffling sound he would make when they were headed toward danger. Hopefully, his bridle was still in her bags, but who knew where they were—still in the Void?
“I know,” Sath said. “If I could, I’d carry you the whole way, not just when it gets too slippery for your wood elf feet.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Gin said. “I can walk just fine, thank you. You don’t have to look after me, you know, just because you saved my life in the inn, Sath.”
“And here I thought I’d been saving your life a lot longer than that,” Sath chuckled, trying desperately to hide his embarrassment. Gin laughed and moved ahead of him as the trail again narrowed. “Hey, why don’t you get behind me for this part?” he asked.
“You know the way better than I do?” Gin asked, raising an eyebrow at Sath, who laughed.
“No. I just thought that I have better balance than you do, and you can grab my tail if you become…unsteady,” Sath replied, smiling at her. She shrugged and let him pass her, then continued along the path. “So, now I’m your hero, huh?”
“Well…while I don’t agree with the extreme nature of your actions, I did…appreciate that you needed to protect me. Not that I needed it, mind you, but it was still…nice,” she admitted. “You were amazing. I mean, I knew that you were a skilled fighter but -”
“I was a bloodthirsty fool,” he said, looking away. “I left a mess that we would have had to answer for had any of it been real.”
“It will be a long time before I forget you standing in that doorway, Cat. You stopped Josiah cold.”
“Indeed I did,” Sath said, grinning. “Listen, Gin, about my…behavior lately…”
“Nope. Not gonna talk about that. I don't need you to -"
He shook his head. "Defend you? Is that what you were going to say, Gin?" Her eyes narrowed in anger. "I think you do-you need someone to defend you because no one ever has. That's okay—because I want to. I have to."
“Fair enough. You’re going to tell me a story once we find a place to camp because I am exhausted. A happy story,” she said.
“Yes ma’am, Nature Walker!” Sath said, grinning. Gin punched him playfully, laughing. After about another three-quarters of an hour, the landscape flattened, they found a tiny glen off to one side of the path. The pine trees grew very close together, and their boughs blocked out the rain and sun. Sath gathered some branches that had fallen and dried on the ground to build a small fire. Soon the moon was high in the sky, and the two were sitting on opposite sides of the glow. It was almost like being back with the Fabled Ones again—almost.
“So, a happy story, then?” Sath asked. Gin nodded. “I would like to tell you about the happiest day of my life, but I fear it will upset you.”
“Why would it upset me?”
“Because I want to tell you about the day that Khuj was born,” Sath said. “But it involves Annilanshi, and…”
Gin stopped his sentence by holding one finger up to her lips. “It’s okay, Sath. I may have hated Anni when she was alive, but I could not love Khuj more if he was my own son. I would love to hear about the day he came into our world. Please, tell me the story.”
“All right,” Sath said, “but if it makes you uncomfortable, I want you to tell me to stop, and I will.” He leaned toward the fire and her, locking his eyes on hers. “Gin, I did not truly love Annilanshi, not the way I love you. When she wasn’t playing the song that conjured the spell that charmed me on her lute, she hummed it. We were never without that tune. It was only after…well, I just want to make sure that you know that if it had been up to me…”
“I know, Sath, I do. Please, just tell me the story?”
“I had been out foraging plants and hunting for meat for our meal when Anni felt the first pangs that meant the cub was ready to be born…”
Anni had no idea what to do, so she rushed from her embassy home to the front gates of Qatu’anari, stopping periodically when the pain in her abdomen had become too much. “You must…tell First Wife…” she said in halting, hitching breaths to the first guard she saw, “that her…grandchild is about…to be born…” She fell to her knees, wailing in pain.
“Yes, Mistress Annilanshi!” the guard replied, taking off at a dead run toward the palace to alert the royal family. Luckily for her, the guard was a friend of Sath’s from the royal nursery as were many of the Sahi Kalah, and he recognized her on sight. She finally gathered the strength to stand, and began the slow walk back toward the house she shared with Sath.
As the former Prince of Qatu’anari drew close to his house, he saw Anni’s staggering steps as she struggled not to collapse in pain. “ANNILANSHI!” he shouted, dropping the bundles he’d brought back with him from hunting and running as fast as he could to her side. “What has happened? Is it the cub?” Anni nodded, una
ble to speak through the latest wave of contractions. Sath picked her up and hustling her into their home and then to their bedchamber. “What can I do?” he asked, his eyes darkening with worry.
Anni sank back into the cushions and pillows and sighed as the wave of pain crested and fell. “Just stay here, and please, can I have my lute? It helps me focus.” Sath immediately handed her the instrument, and she began to play. Soon another wave of agony hit, and she arched off the bed, nearly scratching Sath’s eyes out. She hissed and spit and said all manner of horrible things. Sath didn’t know what to do to help her, so he merely stood to one side of the room, taking her hand in his when she reached for him and then staying clear when she cursed him for causing this pain.
After what seemed like an eternity, an entourage from the palace arrived at their doorstep. Two midwives, Kazhmere, and First Wife Savra, were attended by a squad of Sahi Kalah. “You will not all fit in my home,” Sath said, annoyed at the display. “First Wife, apologies, but could you not have sent your midwives without all this fuss?”
“You used to call me Mama,” Savvy replied sadly. “And yes, I could have, but I want to meet my grandson on his birthday.” She leaned over to Sath and whispered, “So does his Aunt Kazhmere.” Sath narrowed his eyes at his mother but nodded, gesturing for them to enter the embassy. As the Sahi Kalah tried to enter, he stepped back into the doorway, blocking them out.
“Nope, not you. This is a birth, not a military installation.”
“But Highness…err…Sathlir, it is at your father…the Rajah’s command that we are here, and we may not leave until…” Sath roared in frustration.
“I don’t care what the Rajah commands. The closest you are going to get is out here in the grass, so get out of my doorway!” He slammed the door in the Sahi’s face and then turned to face his mother and sister. The midwives were already in the bedchamber with Anni, who was howling and hissing. “Is she all right? Should I…?” He started toward the bedchamber, but Kazhmere and Savvy sprang to their feet to block his path.
“You do not want to witness this part, my son,” Savvy said softly, placing a paw on Sath’s arm. He shook it off, and she frowned. “The day you were born, I thought that I would be split in half. I cursed everyone that was anywhere near me, including the Sahi Kalah, waiting in the next room to take you away from me and to your father.”
“What?” Sath raised a furry eyebrow as he studied his mother. “Take me where?”
“That is a story for another time, my love, my Sathlir,” she said, reaching out to stroke the fur on the side of his face. Begrudgingly he allowed it, and she purred loudly. “You will have your cub in your arms very soon; let my ladies do their work now.” She sat down on a large cushion, and then patted the one next to her. “Will you come to sit with me?” she asked. Sath said nothing, remaining rooted to the spot and trying to see into the bedchamber. Savvy sighed. Kazhmere crossed the room and plopped down next to her mother but kept her distance. “I am the luckiest female alive,” Savvy said, smiling sadly. “I have two beautiful and healthy cubs and am about to have a grandchild as well.”
As if on cue, Anni let out a blood-curdling wail from the back, setting Sath’s fur on end from the tips of his ears down to his tail. There was silence for a moment, and then the mewling cry of a newborn cub could be heard. Sath raced to the door that led to the bedchamber but was stopped by a fierce-looking midwife. “Not so fast, Highness,” she said. “Your mate wishes a moment alone with your son.”
“Of course…wait, my what? Son?” Sath stammered. He grabbed the midwife by her shoulders and hugged her tightly. “I have a son!” The female wriggled out of his grasp, and he pushed past her into the bedchamber. The tang of blood in the air stopped him as his eyes adjusted to the dim light in the room. “Annilanshi?”
“Sathlir,” she said, her voice very weak. “Your son is strong, just like you. I fear I am not so strong.” He moved to her side to stare down at her and the wriggling cub in her arms. “I will be fine, but he has put up a fight from beginning to end. Would you like to hold him?”
“Do you think that is wise?” he asked. “I might drop him or -” Anni smiled up at him, humming as she always did, and he obediently held out his hands. With a grunt, she lifted the squirming bundle and placed the cub in his arms. Sath wrapped his arms around the young one and looked down into his face. “What shall we call you, my son?”
“You could…name the cub after your father?” Anni suggested, her humming getting louder. “Why don’t you take him out to meet his grandmother and send Kazhi in here to see me?” Sath nodded and then leaned down to plant a gentle kiss on Anni’s forehead.
“Thank you, my mate, you have given me the most precious gift today,” he whispered. Anni smiled and closed her eyes.
“Stop, please,” Gin said as she rose from her seat by the fire and walked a few steps away, her arms wrapped tightly around her chest. Tears traced their way down her cheeks. Sath sprang to his feet, at her side in the blink of an eye. He reached out to touch her shoulder, but she pulled away from him. “I thought I could hear that, but you know what I heard Sath? Not the love for your son that I know you have, but your love for the female that gave you…” Gin stopped a moment, her hands flying to her mouth to stop the words that she had not dared admit even to herself until now.
“That gave me what?”
Gin did not turn around to face him. She tightened her grip on her own midsection and took a few deep breaths before she spoke. “The female that was able to give you what I can’t, Sath…a child.” She turned then and looked up at him, and the pain in her eyes struck him to the core. “I cannot be your mate, not in the true sense of the word. We cannot produce offspring. I never knew how much I wanted to be a Qatu so that I could be with you until Tairn cast that illusion spell on me that helped me get into Qatu’anari when…when…” She sniffled and fell silent a moment. “But it was just an illusion. I could have her cast that spell every day for the rest of our lives, and it would not change the fact that on the inside I am not Qatu, and we cannot…we do not fit.”
Sath stood, dumbfounded and staring, not saying a word. “It had never entered my mind that we would have a child. I wasn’t sure that you felt the same way for me that I do for you. I spent a long time believing that any chance of a relationship with you was destroyed after the fiasco with Anni. But anything more than having you with me in Qatu’anari had not occurred to me at all.” He raised an eyebrow as he locked eyes with her. “Gin, do you think that is all I want from a mate? Offspring?”
“You are Rajah now, you have to think about things like that.”
“Listen, if Annilanshi had not been part of Taeben’s plan to separate us, I would have chosen to be with you, Rajah or not. I fell in love with you long before I knew you when all I had of you was that weathered old journal. When I met you again in the great hall that day so long ago, you were everything that I had expected and hoped for AND MORE.” She looked up at him then, her eyes searching his. It was time. He took a raspy yet deep breath. They had to lay everything on the line so that there was no doubt for either of them. “Gin, I would rather spend a day, just one day, hunting with you than an entire lifetime as Rajah without you. I love my son, please do not misunderstand, and you are the only real mother he has ever known, and the only one fit to be his mother. I know that you still don’t completely trust me, but I hope that will change. It has to change, because I love you, not because of a charm or a spell, but because of you. All I ask is that when this adventure is over, will you stay with me? I do not know who I am without you.”
The whole world seemed to revolve backward for a moment in Gin’s mind, and it took a few moments for her head to clear enough to be able to speak. But it was just that simple, wasn’t it? “I feel like I’ve been fighting you for half my life, Sath. I fought against you when you were the Bane of the Forest. I fought the memory of you when you were with Anni, I fought for you and for Khujann when Taeben tried to destroy
you, and I think I’m still fighting to prove that I never loved him, even now.” She leaned her head back to peer up at the stars through holes in the tree cover. “I don’t understand now, I guess. It makes no sense to me for you to be with me when I can give you nothing. What is it that makes me define you? I have no family connections, no name or power to strengthen the royal family of Qatu’anari.” She rubbed her arms with her hands as a breeze that blew in from the north raised goosebumps on her skin. “What is it you want from me, Sath? I can’t figure it out. Just tell me, and that’s what I will be or do if I can, because—I have to be where you are. I love you too.”
Sath said nothing but ambled over and gathered her up in his arms. He drank in the scent of sunflowers and woodland and campfire smoke. He rubbed his face against her cheek, purring loudly. Sinking down into the shelter of the overhanging tree bough, he held her to his chest, feeling her heartbeat against his chest. She wound her fingers into his fur and nuzzled into his neck, sighing deeply with content. When her breathing finally slowed into the smooth rhythm of sleep, Sath carefully got to his feet and carried her back closer to the fire.
This, Gin, is what I want. Just this. I want nothing more from you than to be with you and have you in my life. I have never cared about what you can do for me. You do everything I need just being with me. That is more than enough.
He felt her smile through the bond. Sath leaned against the tree after sitting down, smiling as he dozed off comfortably for the first time in a long time.
Twenty-Three
Goddess, Interrupted
Sath and Gin slept late into the next morning. Birds chirped now and then as insects and frogs called to each other in the dark, and the wind that howled about the mountain peaks rustled trees near their shelter. Gin pulled her knees up to her chest as she woke, eyes scanning the darkness for signs of danger. She had no idea how long she’d been asleep when someone tapped her on the shoulder. In an instant, she was on her feet, brandishing a tree branch in one hand and using the other to rub the sleep from her eyes. “Who’s there?”
Darkness: A Guardians of Orana Novel Page 19