The Winter Wedding

by Rhonda McKnight

  “We would have helped you,” Donna screeched. “Stephen would have married you.”

  I chuckled cheerlessly. I hadn’t been prepared emotionally for Stephen’s anger, but for some reason I was ready for hers. “Oh yeah, right. The son that you spent ten years grooming for the four-year full ride that he got. The son that you dreamed would go to the NFL. That son would have stayed home, got a job in the mill, and helped me raise our son – with your blessing?”

  Donna’s nostril’s flared. I knew she resented my strength. She always had. “He still could have gone to school. We would have made it work.”

  “No,” I shook my head. “He wouldn’t have gone to Freedom University. Not with a pregnant girlfriend. And Freedom was the only school that offered Stephen a full football scholarship. The truth would have ruined him.”

  Donna didn’t respond. I looked at Mr. Pierce. He turned his eyes away from mine. I glanced in Stephen’s direction. He still looked disappointed, but he was thoughtful, just staring like for the first time he wanted to hear what I had to say. The Pierce’s were silent. I’d shut them up, so I decided to have my say.

  I swallowed and worked up my courage with repetitive nods of my head. “Look at how you live. Look at this house. Your house. Stephen’s house in Pine. Your cars. Everything. You’re wealthy.” I enunciated every sound in the word.

  “Back then, you were living in that tiny house and struggling to make ends meet like everyone else in Pine. I refuse to let you make me feel bad when what you want now is not what you would have wanted twelve years ago.”

  “How could you let strangers raise him?” Donna asked.

  “He isn’t with strangers,” Stephen interjected. His parent’s attention shifted to him. “He’s with Tamar’s aunt.”

  Donna’s eyes widened. “An aunt adopted him?”

  “Yes,” I replied.

  She closed her eyes and began to cry. “This is so unfair. You got to see him whenever you wanted. You stole this from us, your father, our son.”

  “I didn’t see him all the time. I didn’t even meet him until he was almost seven years old.”

  “Are you kidding? He was with your aunt. How could you not?”

  “Mom,” Stephen interjected.

  I raised a hand to halt his words. “No, Stephen, it’s okay. We need to have this conversation.”

  I gave my attention back to Donna. “It’s true. Giving him up was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I was glad he was with my aunt, and I did get updates about him, but I was trying to move on with my life without him. Without a memory of Stephen and the pain.” I raised a hand to wipe my tears. “I was young.”

  Donna shook her head rapidly. “I still don’t understand.”

  “Of course, you don’t.” I shrugged. “You’ve never been in my position.”

  “You don’t know what I’ve been through, Tamar Johnson.”

  “I know you weren’t nude in a YouTube video with millions of views.”

  Donna sneered. “Black women do not give their children up for adoption.”

  I sneered back at her. “Black women give children up for adoption every day.”

  Stephen moved a few steps. His body fell between us. “Mom, it’s done. She’s explained herself. I won’t let you beat up on her.”

  Donna cocked her head and put her hands on her hips. “She has not explained herself to me. If she had any kind of a conscience, we wouldn’t have found out about it today. Like this.”

  “Mom,” Stephen said firmly. “You’ve said enough.”

  Donna took a deep breath and smiled at her son. It wasn’t a pleasant smile. It was a nice-nasty, I’m disappointed in you, condescending smile. “She’s always had you under some kind of spell. My God, can she not do anything to open your eyes to who she is?”

  Stephen looked at me, compassion in his eyes for the first time today. “My God is the one who put me and Tamar together.”

  Donna walked across the room and removed tissue from a holder. She wiped under her eyes. “Believe what you want. I can’t stomach this talk right now.” She left the room.

  Stephen’s father pointed toward the album. “Are those pictures?”

  “Yes, sir.” I walked to the table where Stephen had placed the album, picked it up, and put it in his hand.

  Robert opened it and slowly went through the pictures.

  “He’s a good-looking young man.” He smiled. “He looks like you, son.”

  Stephen smiled back. “He does.”

  “Which means he looks like me.” His father chuckled. “Let me go show this to your mother.”

  Stephen nodded.

  Robert left the room.

  I released the breath I’d been holding. “I’m sorry. I need to go. I need to go talk to my father.”

  “Right. He didn’t know he had a grandchild until this morning, either,” Stephen said. Like the years gone by, silence filled the space between us. “I wish you had told me sooner.”

  “I didn’t want to shake up my aunt’s world. She’s sick and then you got hurt. There were reasons.”

  Stephen shook his head. “None of them good enough, Tay.”

  I nodded. “They were my reasons. At this point, I don’t expect anyone to understand.” I reached for my bag and pulled out my phone. “Are we done for now?”

  Stephen looked away from me. When he looked back, he asked. “I need to know when I’m going to meet him.” His jaw tightened on every word.

  “Soon. I’ll call you tonight.”

  Stephen nodded again. “How are you getting to Pine?”

  “I’m not going to Pine. My dad is in Philadelphia, so I’m going to Uber back to the airport and pick up a rental.”

  Stephen shook his head. “You don’t have to do that. Take my other truck.”

  I didn’t have to force appreciation into my voice. “That’s generous of you, but I’m flying out of Philly.”

  He shrugged. “You can leave the car at the airport in Philly.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Of course, I’m sure. The question is, are you okay to drive?”

  He was concerned about me. My heart fluttered. The heaviness lifted around my soul. It threw me for a moment and then I realized what he’d asked me. “I’m fine.”

  “Philly is a haul. I could call Pete. He can drive you.”

  “Pete.” I was shocked he was back in Stephen’s life. “I thought he was away.”

  “He was, but now he’s my driver.”

  I shook my head. “There’s no need. I’d rather drive myself. .”

  “Text me the parking information after you leave the car and I’ll have Pete pick it up.”

  Stephen walked to a table in the foyer, opened the drawer and removed a set of keys.”

  I looked him up and down now. He’d lost a few pounds, but he was still in good physical shape. “How’s the ankle?”

  “Getting better every day.” He handed me the key.

  “Will you be ready to play next season?”

  “Training camp starts in July. I expect to be.”

  He didn’t sound certain.

  “I’m sure if you keep working, you’ll be ready.” I walked to the closet and removed my coat.

  “How’s Aunt Joe? Healthwise?”

  “Chemo is hard. Really hard and then she had the surgery and more radiation and chemo. It’s a lot.”

  “I’m sure it must be.” He was genuinely sympathetic. “I’m sorry if I seemed insensitive to the fact that you were trying to spare her.”

  I shook my head. “You don’t owe me an apology.”

  Tears welled in his eyes again. I hadn’t seen that since my mother passed.

  “I’m struggling with thinking about anyone else but myself right now. I can’t believe I have an eleven-year-old son.”

  Silence.

  “All these young boys I mentor with no fathers, and I have a son I don’t
know about. What did I do to deserve this?”

  I swallowed and let him have his words.

  “I’m the guy that would have been there.”

  I bit my lip and sighed before speaking. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  He shook his head. “There’s nothing you can say until you tell me when I can meet my son.”

  I felt a tear fall down my own face. I reached up and wiped it. “Yeah, so I’ll text you after I leave the car.”

  I slid my coat on, picked up my handbag, and walked to the door.

  I could hear Stephen’s cane on the floor behind me. Once I reached the door to the garage, he reached around and opened it for me.

  “The hard part’s done,” Stephen said.

  “I guess, but your parents will—”

  “Forgive you,” he offered. He was so close his breath was like a whisper on my forehead. “My parents will forgive you and so will your father.”

  I waited for him to say what I wanted to hear. “And you?”

  “I’m in shock right now. I can’t think about anything until I meet him. If I can do that…” A tear trailed down his face. Before I knew it, I’d raised my hand, and wiped it away.

  Stephen caught my hand before I lowered it. He looked at it like he was searching for something. He was probably glad it no longer held the ring he’d given me. He squeezed and then released it. “Drive carefully.”

  I nodded because I couldn’t speak. I went down to the garage. Climbed into the other SUV Stephen had, opened the garage, and started the engine. After letting it run for a few minutes, I rolled out and drove out of the subdivision. I passed through the gate and by the reporters. Getting out of Stephen’s subdivision was easy. The windows were tinted. They didn’t know I was in the car, so they didn’t even try to bother me.

  I drove a few miles down the road and stopped. I’d been waiting for the right place to park. I pulled over so I could cry my heart out. He hated me just like I thought he would. Right now, I hated myself.

  Chapter 20

  I was grateful for two things, one that my father wasn’t in Pine and two, he’d been in meetings all day, so he’d had his phone turned off and hadn’t heard any of the news. Not that my father followed such, but still, he didn’t know a thing until I told him.

  The conversation was the one of the hardest I’d ever had with him. The only one more difficult had been the one we’d had on the day my mother died.

  My father stared at the pictures of Isaiah. “So, he’s twelve.”

  “He’s eleven. He’ll turn twelve next February.”

  “Why do I think I know where he is?”

  “Because you know me.”

  He shook his head. “How’s Stephen?”

  “Shocked, but controlled.”

  “And the Pierce’s?”

  “They came to Stephen’s house when I was there.”

  “How was that?”

  “Intense.” I closed my eyes against the memory. “Don’t be angry with Aunt Joe.”

  “Angry with Joe?” My father merely grunted. “I’ve never understood that woman. She’s so unlike your mother.”

  “That’s not true, Daddy.”

  My father jabbed a finger on the table for emphasis. “Your mother would not do this. She wouldn’t keep a secret like this.”

  “She was trying to help me.”

  “You don’t know the history, Tamar. Your aunt and I have never been family, and that’s not my fault.” My father visibly reeled in his emotions before saying, “I wish you’d come to me.”

  “I wasn’t going to come home and embarrass you any more than I already had.”

  My father and I sat there saying nothing for a long time. He was processing the news. That was easy to see.

  “This would have all been done so differently if your mother was alive.”

  “I know,” I said through tears. “I keep thinking about that. She would have helped us through.”

  “You would have had her to talk to. You would have had her for all of it. I feel like I failed her with you.”

  “Daddy, don’t. You didn’t fail me.

  Daddy’s brow wrinkled. “You got in trouble and you ran to an aunt you hardly knew and gave your son up for adoption.”

  “To her.”

  “You still felt trapped and powerless. Our house should have been home for you.”

  “We’ve talked about this before. We’re not going to rehash it.”

  “It’s not rehashing. I have to grieve this and forgive myself all over again because I didn’t know all that I’d done.” He banged a fist on the table.

  I stood. “I won’t let you beat yourself up. I’m doing that enough for everybody.”

  My phone rang the unique tone for Stephen. I removed it from my pocket.

  “Take your call,” Daddy said. “I need to cancel a counseling session for tonight. I want us to have dinner.”

  “Don’t cancel,” I said, sending the call to voicemail. “I have to get back to Yancy. My flight leaves in two hours. Aunt Joe needs me, and I need to figure out this meeting with Stephen and Isaiah.”

  “I can’t wait to meet him myself. A grandson.” Daddy’s eyes shimmered with pride. He reached for my hand. “Are you sure you’re okay? I don’t want you going through this alone. I can come down there with you.”

  “I’m not alone. Aunt Joe is really good to me.”

  Daddy’s knit brow indicated he was thinking on that, but he said, “I’m glad to hear you two are close. How is she feeling about Stephen being in Isaiah’s life?”

  “She says she knew the day would come when she’d have to share him.” I shrugged. “She’s okay with it.”

  Daddy’s frown deepened.

  “What is it?”

  “She’s raised him for eleven years. No one would be okay with this kind of thing.” He shook his head. “I wonder about her condition. Is your aunt sicker than you know?”

  ***

  I could hardly breathe. My chest felt constricted for the entire ride from the hotel where my father was, to the airport parking lot.

  Aunt Joe sicker than I know? I didn’t even want to consider the possibility. I know everything. Don’t I?

  My father’s word troubled me. I revisited the conversation with Aunt Joe over and over again. Why was she being so easy about this? Did she think she was going to die? I couldn’t bear to lose her.

  My cell rang in another call from Stephen.

  I answered. “Hey, sorry, I was talking to my father.”

  “No problem. I wanted to make sure I got you before you boarded the plane.”

  “Why? What’s up?”

  “I need to know what airport I’m flying into.”

  I squinted. “I don’t understand.”

  “Your aunt. Is she near Macon or Albany? I need to book a flight for tomorrow. What airport is it?”

  “I said we would talk tonight.”

  “We’ll talk right now. I want to meet my son, and I’m not willing to wait.” His words were icy, but they managed to burn my heart.

  “Can I at least tell him about this?”

  “You can do whatever you need to do, but I want to meet him this weekend.”

  More coldness. I shrank. “Wow. I wasn’t expecting this.”

  “I wasn’t expecting to be a father.” It was clear that Stephen had gone from shocked to angry in the hours since I’d left him. “Another thing. I talked to my attorney.”

  “That wasn’t necessary.”

  “Are you kidding? I have a lawyer on retainer. Why wouldn’t I talk to him?”

  “I’m not your enemy, Stephen. We’re not fighting here.”

  “I have rights.”

  “Of course, you do.”

  “I have more than you think.” He was silent for a moment. So was I. “I never sighed away my paternal rights.”

  “One minute, you’re defending me to your
mother and the next, you’re talking to your attorney.”

  “My mother was doing too much. As for the lawyer, I’m being smart. I have a will, a trust, and a foundation. I have money. If I have a child, I need to shift things and that has to happen right away.”

  Stephen’s bark was as bad as his bite right now. I wanted off the phone with him. “The airport is Albany. Let me know when your flight comes in and I’ll pick you up.”

  “I’ll get an Uber.”

  “There’s no Uber service to where she lives.” I sighed. “Please don’t make this hostile between us.”

  “I’m not trying to make it hostile. I’m trying to keep the lines clear. I don’t want...” he paused. “You have a way of weakening me when I need to be strong.”

  “I can’t tell.”

  “That’s because you’ve been too busy with your secrets to see.” Stephen cleared his throat. “The city? Hotels nearby? I’m blind here.”

  “The town is Yancy. There’s a Marriot about four miles from my aunt’s house. There aren’t many hotels, so I’d say that’s going to be the closest one. I’ll text you the address.”

  “Thanks. Have a good flight.”

  He ended the call. I stared at the phone.

  What just happened?

  Chapter 21

  “He wants to meet him tomorrow.” I ended my summary of the day’s events with Stephen’s final declaration.

  Aunt Joe took in a sharp breath. “That doesn’t give us much time, but I can’t blame him. What’s his lawyer saying?”

  “I didn’t ask him. He wasn’t being friendly. I didn’t want to get into it with him.”

  “They’ll say you lied about the paternity. Which you did when you listed ‘unknown’ on the birth certificate. That was bad advice from me.”

  “Advice I was more than willing to take.” I sighed.

  “The bottom line is, Stephen never signed away his rights. That matters, even after all these years – plus he has money. People with money can get things done.” Aunt Joe paused to catch her breath. “I talked to my lawyer today. He made sure I understood that.”

  “You called your lawyer?”

  Aunt Joe cocked her head. “I called mine for the same reason Stephen called his. That’s what you do in these situations.”