by Emma Castle
“Strip malls are usually better for supplies. People forget them because they’re farther out,” Lincoln said as he parked the car amid the abandoned vehicles.
“Why park here?” she asked.
“I don’t want anyone passing by to notice us. We want people to think this is just one of the abandoned cars out here,” he explained and held out her backpack. She slung it around her shoulders and zipped her coat. He put his own bag on. They’d both agreed not to leave their packs in the car unless they were in the car with them. If they had to leave the vehicle, they needed their gear.
“I’m going to test a few car batteries nearby and scavenge what I can. I’ll also collect any extra fuel these cars might have. You go into that sporting goods store and collect what you can on this list.” He handed her a list of items on a piece of notebook paper.
She nodded and headed across the parking lot for the sporting goods store. Caroline kept a careful eye out for movement. When she reached the entrance, she carefully climbed through the broken glass doorway, her boots sliding and crunching on the shards, but she kept her balance. The interior of the store was dimly lit from the skylights three stories up. Her skin crawled as she worked her way through the overturned display stands. Exercise clothes and pale, naked mannequins littered the aisles. Caroline squinted at the list.
“Hand warmers, space blanket, batteries…” She navigated her way back to the camping section of the store and used the small flashlight Lincoln had given her to locate what she needed. She shoved them into the big gear bag Lincoln had given her and looked at the next part of her list.
“Rope, carabineers, and wool socks.” She meandered down more aisles and grabbed a spare pair of wool gloves for her and Lincoln and a pair of wool caps. Hers was a cable knit hat with the poufy faux fur ball on top, and his was a dark gray one lined with fleece. She finished packing the items into her bag and turned to search the aisles for anything else that might be useful, but then someone moved behind her. She froze.
“Hands up, turn around. Slowly,” the hard voice demanded. Heart pounding, she fought off a wave of terror and set her pack down and raised her hands in the air as she turned around.
A man in his midfifties had a shotgun aimed at her. His hard blue eyes were cold.
“Please, I just need some supplies…”
The man stared at her without speaking, and she waited for him to shoot her.
“You alone?” he asked.
Caroline wondered how she should answer—lie to give Lincoln the advantage, or tell the truth in the hopes it would make him think twice about doing anything to her.
“Not alone, then,” the man muttered to himself when she took too long to answer. “Pick up your bag, but no sudden moves.”
She bent, grasped the straps of her bag, and slowly straightened. He clicked on a flashlight, shining it brightly in her face. She winced and half shut her eyes to block out the blinding beam of light.
“Where are the others with you?” the man demanded.
“Here,” Lincoln said behind him.
The man whirled, and he grunted as Lincoln slammed a fist into his solar plexus. “Fuck!” The man doubled over and fell to his knees. Caroline, rooted in place, watched as Lincoln raised a gun to the man’s head.
“Wait!” she gasped, at last finding her voice. She rushed to stand behind the stranger and looked at Lincoln. “He didn’t hurt me.”
Lincoln didn’t look at her, his face a mask of hard lines. She couldn’t be sure what he was planning to do, but she feared the worst.
“Please, Lincoln.” The man who’d danced with her last night was tender, merciful. But right now she didn’t know this man, didn’t want to know him.
“You alone?” Lincoln asked, echoing the man’s question.
“Yes.”
Lincoln cocked the hammer. “That’s a lie.”
“My wife, Joanie, she’s in the back. Please, don’t hurt her.” The man’s voice dropped to a broken whisper, and his head lowered in defeat.
“We won’t,” Caroline said more loudly and reached out, pushing Lincoln’s hand with the gun down to point to the floor. “Right, Lincoln?” She tugged on his sleeve, and he looked her way at last.
“We’ll see.” Lincoln nodded for the man to get to his feet. He turned to Caroline and saw the look on her face, and for a moment, where there had been deadly focus, she saw hesitation and doubt. He turned back to the man, a hint of a relaxed smile on his lips. “You’d make an awful Walmart greeter.”
“These are different times, son. Not easy to know who to trust.”
“But it has to start somewhere,” said Caroline. “This is Lincoln, and I’m Caroline.”
The man smiled hesitantly. “I’m Glenn.”
“Nice to meet you, Glenn.”
The man took a deep breath. “Sorry I scared you. My wife and I have been here for a few weeks now. I thought we were finally safe, but then I saw your car pull in and got worried. Bands of men have been roving around, some shooting people, others taking whatever they wanted.” He shuddered. “Last month, I saw a group of them execute a kid. A kid. They threw his body in a ditch. He couldn’t have been more than ten.” Glenn’s voice grew rough with emotion. “I didn’t want folks like that finding us.”
“And I’m sure Caroline here just struck terror into your heart,” Lincoln growled, holstering his pistol.
“We can’t be too careful,” said Glenn. “Mean comes in all shapes and sizes.”
“We’re doing the same, avoiding people like that,” Caroline reassured him.
“Let me introduce you to Joanie. She would love to have someone to talk to.”
Glenn used his flashlight to guide them to the back of the store where a sort of small town had been built up using shelves. Inside were a couple of tents and quite a bit of stockpiled food.
“Joanie, we’ve got guests,” Glenn called out. A woman emerged from the tent nearest them, a gun raised as she assessed the situation.
“Joanie, hon, we’re fine. Put that away.”
Joanie slipped a hand through her long black curls, eyeing them carefully before she set the gun down on top of the cooler beside her tent.
“This is Caroline and Lincoln.” Glenn nodded at them.
Caroline smiled at Joanie, and to her relief the woman smiled back.
“Sorry, can’t be too careful these days.”
“I get it. I was robbed of everything not long back. It’s hard to know who to trust.” Caroline glanced at Lincoln. He was standing silent and serious, his hand close to his hip where he could reach his pistol.
“You two are welcome to stay here for dinner if you like,” Glenn offered.
“We can’t stay the night,” Lincoln said. “Got a lot of miles to cover.”
“How about lunch?” Caroline suggested. He answered with the barest hint of a nod.
“Lunch it is.” Joanie waved to Caroline. “Want to help?”
“Sure.” Caroline followed her toward the back of the couple’s small indoor camp, where they started sorting out canned vegetables. Lincoln stayed with Glenn, but she could still feel his eyes on her.
“Glenn said you guys have been here for a few weeks?”
“Yep.” Joanie handed her a can of creamed corn. “We came here from Blair. We thought a big city would have more supplies, but we soon learned we were better off on the outskirts. What about you?”
“Chicago. I’m from Missouri originally, though.”
“And Lincoln? Where’s he from?” Joanie asked.
“He is…well, North Carolina is where his family is, but he’s sort of from all over the place. He was coming back from Turkey when Hydra struck. He’s…”
“A soldier?” Joanie offered.
“Yes. How did you know?”
“Not many men can sneak up on my husband. He’s a hell of a hunter. Stalks bucks for days like a ghost.”
“How did you know Lincoln snuck up on him?”
“Because Gl
enn wouldn’t have brought you back here unless he felt he had to,” Joanie said more quietly. “We both know about the roving gangs. He wouldn’t put me at risk like that, which means your man caught him off guard. But he seems to trust you right now, so I’ll do the same.”
“Thank you,” Caroline whispered, unable to stop thinking about how Joanie had called Lincoln her man. “It’s so nice to see someone after all this time. Well, someone normal. I only met Lincoln a few days ago. Before that…” She trailed off.
Joanie patted her hand. “Lonely. I know. Even with Glenn, I still feel alone. We all do.” Joanie collected some plates, and they settled down by a gas-powered stove. Joanie and Caroline open the creamed corn and poured it into the pot. Caroline sought out Lincoln in the small space Glenn and Joanie had created. He was standing beside Glenn. Their guns were out but set on the table as the two seemed to be comparing weapons. Glenn said something, and Lincoln suddenly laughed. The sound made her heart flutter wildly as she watched him, seeing him again as the man she’d danced with last night. There was something about that beard and those muscles and the intensity…she just couldn’t help but get lost in fantasies.
Joanie nudged Caroline in the ribs. “Only a few days, you said?”
“Hmm?” She turned back to Joanie, not understanding the woman’s question.
“You said you’ve only known Lincoln a few days?”
“Yeah.”
Joanie’s eyes twinkled, and she brushed her curly hair back.
“You’ve got it bad, hon.”
“Got what bad?”
“For that man. It’s all over your face—and his, once you get past the beard.” Joanie stirred the creamed corn, her expression full of amusement.
“We’ve only just met, really.”
“Sometimes that’s all it takes. You two look like you could start a fire with the sparks between you. He barely takes his eyes off you.”
Caroline looked back to Lincoln, and she realized Joanie was right. He was focused on his discussion with Glenn, but his eyes still turned to her every few seconds. And that single look made her body flush with feminine awareness. He looked damned sexy standing there, his tall muscled body relaxed for the first time since she’d met him.
“Well…he’s protective. It’s dangerous out here.”
“Uh-huh… Men protect only what they want to protect. He’s not being noble. He wants you.”
She knew that—he’d said as much—but Caroline didn’t want to think about it right now.
“Well, I don’t know if I want him,” she replied, even though it felt like a lie. After that kiss last night, she’d been forced to admit, at least to herself, that she wanted him bad.
Joanie didn’t argue, but her face said she didn’t believe her. Caroline didn’t either. Her body wanted Lincoln, wanted to be claimed, protected, mated, but her rational mind reminded her that they weren’t wild beasts. They were human, and she was going to cling to civilized behavior as long as she could before it was ripped away from her.
“Food’s ready!” Joanie called out. The men turned and came over. They all filled plates with creamed corn. Joanie produced a box of Twinkies, and Caroline laughed at the look of horror on Lincoln’s face. She hadn’t been the only one to discover the shelf life of Hostess products was forever.
“So where you all headed?” Glenn asked as he opened some beers that had been cooling outside.
“South,” Lincoln replied. Caroline frowned at him and clarified.
“Joplin. I’m trying to see if my family is still alive. They were there when I last spoke to them. I was supposed to be there for Christmas.” Her throat tightened as she thought of them, wondering if any of them were still alive.
Glenn and Joanie exchanged a worried glance.
“What is it?” Lincoln asked.
“But that’s so far south,” said Glenn. “The roads are dangerous. What if your family is gone? Maybe you should stay with us. We’d be safer in numbers. Got a decent setup here in the store. It keeps the bad weather out, and there’s plenty of supplies.”
“For now.” Lincoln set his clean plate down on the ground and rested his forearms on his knees. He looked so rugged, and a little scary. “You’ll run out of food soon. There aren’t likely to be any more places nearby that haven’t been heavily raided. You’d be wise to move south until you can get to warmer weather to start farming and irrigation.”
“I’m a hunter, not a farmer,” Glenn replied.
“Hunting alone won’t cut it. The only people who will survive the next year are those who adapt.” Lincoln stood and looked at Caroline. “We’d better go. We have more stops to make.” He focused on their host again. “Thank you for the food and rest.”
“Yeah, of course.” Glenn offered a hand, and Lincoln shook it.
Caroline didn’t want to leave, but she had to stay with Lincoln. She stood and hugged Joanie and shook Glenn’s hand. She wrote down her parents’ address in Joplin and gave it to them.
“If you can, join us in Joplin,” she said and hugged Joanie a second time.
She didn’t want to leave—it felt wrong to walk away from them like this. She wanted to be with other people. It was important to remind the other survivors that they were all in this together. People were not the enemy, the virus was, and those of humanity still left were possibly immune, the lucky few who had a duty not only to survive but to rebuild their world.
The one thing humans had that set them apart from other animals was the ability to build communities, to delegate responsibilities, and share in the work of not just getting by but developing and thriving. Caroline knew that if she could just get enough people together where they could work alongside one another, it could be a new beginning. That was why walking away from Glenn and Joanie made her heart ache.
“Goodbye, hon.” Joanie squeezed her hand. “Take care with that one,” her new friend said with a wink. “He still has that untamed look about him.”
Caroline nodded, her eyes burning with tears. It was crazy. She had known them only a few hours, but already it felt like she was abandoning lifelong friends. Glenn helped them load the rest of their supplies in the SUV before they waved goodbye and left the strip mall.
“I didn’t want to leave,” she said.
“I know, but the more time we waste, the more we risk not finding your family. We can’t operate off the assumption that all survivors are immune. There could be pockets of people who have escaped exposure, and if that’s the case…we need to find them and assure their survival,” Lincoln said, keeping his eyes on the road. She didn’t miss the way he’d stressed the word if. He didn’t believe they were still alive. His lack of faith shouldn’t have hurt—it was pragmatic, logical. But it did hurt. It left a burning ache inside her that only seemed to grow as they put miles on the road. At his heart he was still a cynic, believing the worst in things, even now.
She hoped it hadn’t been a mistake to trust Lincoln.
Lincoln knew he was a fucking asshole. He could see how much Caroline was hurting inside. But they couldn’t stay. Glenn and Joanie were facing hard times, harder if they didn’t move south like he said. Everyone had their own choices to make.
And my choice is protecting her at all cost.
The house they’d been staying at deep in the neighborhood was much safer than a strip mall. After he had talked with Glenn, Lincoln had realized that the other man was afraid to leave the store. He’d made a good little space for himself and his wife, but he didn’t want to leave it. Glenn didn’t understand that the lights weren’t coming back on, and the world wasn’t going to come back to the way it had been. Not for a long time. Maybe not ever.
We’re in the wilderness now. If a man couldn’t face that, he wouldn’t survive.
“Do you…do you really know how to farm?” she asked, sniffing a little.
Lincoln refused to look at Caroline. Crying women set his teeth on edge, and if she was crying, he’d really be fucking pissed know
ing he had caused it.
“I have had some training. I worked on a ranch as a teen.”
“North Carolina?” She perked up at this. Her eyes were red-rimmed from tears, but she wiped the tears away. It was a punch to his gut see the evidence of the pain his decision had caused. So he kept talking. She seemed to like to hear him talk about himself. He wasn’t used to that, but if that’s what she wanted, he’d talk until he lost his voice.
“I worked summers at old man Peterson’s ranch. He lived on the outskirts of the city. He knew my father and offered me a job baling hay and breaking in geldings.” It had been hard work, but he’d loved it all, from the blisters and exhaustion to the feel of a horse coming to trust him so that they became one unit. He’d grown into a man on that ranch.
“I worked at the vet clinic one summer,” Caroline said, but her tone was tinged with sorrow.
“You didn’t like it?” He was surprised. She was so sweet and caring; the animals had to have loved her.
She shook her head. “I wanted to be a vet. I love animals. But I figured out after just a few weeks that I couldn’t handle it.” She studied her hands in her lap, and he refocused his attention on the highway, careful to dodge any abandoned cars. Fortunately, most were on the shoulders of the road.
“What couldn’t you handle?”
She didn’t answer at first. “The dying. The suffering. Seeing the pain of a dog as it struggled for breath. It…” She swallowed. “I used to cry every night after work. I wasn’t strong enough. I’m not strong enough now.”
Lincoln pulled the car over to the side of the road, more out of habit than anything. He could have just stopped in the middle of the road. He leaned over and cupped her chin.
“Look at me,” he commanded, but he kept his tone gentle.
She raised her gaze to his, and he sucked in a breath. Fuck, she was so damn beautiful, and she didn’t have a clue what she did to him. Her dark hair hung loose around her shoulders, and he wanted to fist his hands in it and drag her to him.
“Strength isn’t the absence of pain or fear. It’s about facing it head-on and staying alive. You’re strong, Caroline.”