by Jenna Reed
“I am so sorry, please let me explain,” he says, taking a step forward.
I close my eyes for a moment. Seeing him and hearing his voice has my mind and body breaking down. This man can affect my body like no one else, like nothing else. He can give me the most mind-blowing pleasure, but he can also hurt me so deeply, that it feels like I would rather die than go a second without him. Hating him would be easy, but loving him, loving him is my weakness in all of this, and there is nothing I can do to shake that love away.
Against my better judgment, I blink my eyes open. He’s still standing there looking at me like I’m his world, but how can I be his world when I’ll never be in his future.
“Please, Bailey!” He begs like he is about to drop down to his knees in front of me, and part of me hopes he does. He has no idea how much this hurts me. To have fallen in love with him, my best friend, only for him to end up knocking someone else up.
“I don’t know what Kelly told you, but it’s not true. I swear, it’s not true. I didn’t get her pregnant. The baby isn’t mine, Bailey. I swear to God. I’m not lying to you, I’ve never lied to you.” Sadness cuts deeply through the air.
I stare at his face, watching him as he speaks every word, waiting for him to give me any indication that he is lying. Years of friendship lets you get in tune with a person’s body, and I’d know if he was lying, which he is not.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I narrow my eyes. “It’s not yours?”
Relief floods his features. “No, it’s not.”
“But you slept with her?”
“Yes.” He sighs, looking as if he would rather eat glass than admit it to me. “I did, one time, months ago but I slept with her almost three weeks after she had already gotten pregnant… and of course I used a condom. But even if I hadn’t, I couldn’t have knocked her up when she was already pregnant with someone else’s baby.”
Okay... okay, I can handle this. He’s not the father of her baby, and I can’t really be mad at him for sleeping with someone months before we got together, it’s not like I didn’t know about the things that he did.
This takes most of the stress off of our newly formed relationship but not fully since I have a secret of my own to tell him. But assuming his reaction to this woman’s announcement, I’m unsure of how he’ll take it. Taking a step back, giving him enough room to come in.
“Okay, you can come in.” The light that was dimming out in his eyes just a moment ago, reappears and he all but rushes into the house, his arms wrapping around me, his face buried into the crook of my neck.
Sucking in a greedy breath of air, I let his scent flow into my nostrils. I can’t help but wrap my own arms around him, my hands fisting his shirt, mapping out the hard planes of his body through the cotton fabric. God, I missed him so much. Missed how he smells, how he feels. I’ve missed his voice and how he makes me laugh. Everything about him I’ve missed.
“I’m so tired, I’ve barely slept. I couldn’t, not without you by my side. I was worried sick, Sunflower. I didn’t know what she said to you and…” He’s rambling now. His emotions spiraling out of control and the desperation in his voice crushes me.
“Come on, let’s go to bed,” I whisper into his shirt. “We can talk about the rest of this tomorrow.” And we will. I want to know what happened, how he figured out that the baby wasn’t his. Knowing how much of a stand-up man Elijah is, I don’t doubt one bit that he would step up to the plate to care for a child that was his, so something tells me he discovered something.
“You mean here? In your bed… in your old bedroom?” He leans back and closes the door, locking the deadbolt into place before turning back around to face.
“Is that weird? Would you rather go back to your place instead?”
“No-no... I’m just excited. That’s like a teenage fantasy brought to life.” A throat clears behind us, and both Elijah and I turn around at the noise to find my father standing on the stairs staring down at us. His eyes narrow on Elijah and a small giggle seeps from my lips.
“And I’m perfectly fine with keeping it as a fantasy and nothing more,” Elijah says, looking very much like a boy scout.
“Smooth recovery,” I whisper.
“You are adults, you can sleep in her room together, but for God’s sake, keep in mind that I am down the hall, and I might be old but I ain’t dead yet.” There’s a grin on my father’s lips when he turns and disappears back up the stairs. The door to his room, opening and closing a moment later.
Looking up at Elijah, I see the worn exhaustion of the last couple of days over taking him. It looks like he is about to pass out, and there’s no way I’ll get him upstairs if he does. So taking his hand into mine, I start to pull him up the stairs. “Let’s go to sleep, big guy.”
He nods and follows me, no fussing or fighting. As soon as we arrive in my room, he starts undressing, peeling off his shirt and pants until he’s down to nothing but his boxers. My mouth waters and I inconspicuously wipe at my bottom lip to ensure I’m not actually drooling. My hormones are running on overdrive right now.
I let him lie down first before I climb onto the bed. It’s only a twin and Elijah is not small by any means, so he alone takes up most of the space. Luckily, I usually sleep half on top of him anyway. Once he’s situated, I make my move, settling onto his body, my limbs slung over his and my face pressed to his chest.
Home. That’s what he feels like. The one place unlike anywhere else in the world.
The sound of his steady heartbeat fills my ear and for the first time in three days, I feel whole again, like the missing piece inside me has been found. I’m so content and happy right now that I almost forget about the secret harbored deep inside me.
What is he going to say? How is he going to react?
I want to tell him tonight, but it doesn’t seem right. Heck, I haven’t even taken a test yet. I tell myself that I don’t need to. I already know what it’s going to say, but I could be wrong. I’m not the gambling type and I would much rather speak the truth than a lie.
Tomorrow, I tell myself… tomorrow I’ll tell him.
The next morning turns out to be much less awkward than I expected. My dad had already made a pot of coffee by the time we made it downstairs. We shared breakfast together before my dad headed off to play golf, leaving Elijah and me to enjoy a second cup of joe outside on the back porch. It was strange being back home and reminded me of my teenage years I spent in this house after we moved out of the neighborhood Elijah’s family lives in. It also made me miss my mom.
“You remember that time I made you eat a worm?” Elijah asks smugly as if he’s reliving the memory in his mind.
Taking a sip of my coffee, I nod, thankful that he is taking my mind off sad memories. “How could I forget it. You basically forced it down my throat. I should’ve known then that you would be nothing but trouble.”
“Seriously?” Elijah lifts a brow in disbelief. “You pushed me out of a treehouse and broke my arm. I’m pretty sure eating a worm wasn’t even close to a fair trade. Do you have any idea how bad that cast itched that summer?”
“Big baby…” I taunt, sticking my thumb in my mouth like a pacifier. Elijah’s face deadpans, and then he bursts out into a fit of contagious laughter. We laugh together, and it feels good after everything that has taken place over the last couple of days.
“I love you, Bailey,” Elijah announces, his face turning serious. “Tell me you love me too, that we’re okay. That I didn’t fucking ruin us forever. Tell me you still want me like I want you. That your heart still beats for me, and only me.”
My heart slaps against my ribs, showcasing the power he has over my body. “I could never stop loving you. Not even knowing that you were going to be a father to another woman’s baby. In the end, I still wanted you to be mine. Maybe that makes me a shitty person, I don’t know, but a love like ours can’t just be shut off.”
Elijah shakes his head. “Fuck, Bailey, you have no idea how good it
is to hear you say those words. You have no idea how fucking scared I was. The thought that…” I can see him grappling with his emotions, a hand scrubbing down his face before he looks me straight in the eyes. Those big blues of his bleed into mine, in a way that pulls me in, putting me in a trance, forcing me to see nothing but him.
“That, that baby could have been mine. I mean, fuck, it would have ruined my life. It would have just ruined everything that I had planned. I’m telling you right now, Sunflower, I had never been so relieved in my life. When Asher and I figured out that there was no way that I was the father. I swear, it was like God was giving me a second chance. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t found out so quickly. I was seriously about to lose it.”
His words cut through me like an invisible blade. Every molecule of air seems to seep from my lungs. It feels like I’m choking on his words, on the revelation that he just exposed. If he didn’t want a baby with her, then he’s not going to want a baby with me, either.
“Are you okay?” Elijah reaches for me, his hands burning where he touches me. “You look a bit pale all of a sudden. Are you sick?”
“Oh, it’s nothing. It’s nothing, at all. Just... I’m glad everything is back to normal.” The lie tastes bitter on my tongue, but I won’t tell him about the baby yet. I’ll need to take a test first. The idea that maybe he’ll end things over me getting pregnant terrifies me.
“Almost.” He brushes a couple loose strands of hair behind my ear, his lips pressing into a hard line. “I’m going to see her today. I want this shit cleared up.”
Puzzled, I ask, “Why would you go and see her?”
Elijah’s gaze turns cold. “I’m going to confront her. I want to know why she would accuse me of being the father when she obviously knows that I’m not. I was in Atlanta when she got knocked up. I don’t know this woman for shit, but I do know that she isn’t stupid. She did this on purpose, probably to get money out of it. Whatever it is, I want to figure out why. I need to hear her say it. Admit to it.”
The thought of someone doing this for money sickens me. Lying to a person about them having a child, that’s next level fucked up. I remember her coming into the office, wearing designer clothes, hair and makeup done. She didn’t look like she needed any money.
“I’m going to ask her to meet me later, do you want to come?”
“I don’t know… I think I’ll pass.” Carrying his child or not, she is still a woman he slept with, and I don’t need to be reminded of that. Plus, I need to take a pregnancy test. I need to be sure about this before I even think about mentioning it to anyone. “I need to go to the store and pick up some stuff. I’ll meet you back at your place later, okay?”
“Okay? If you don’t come to my place later, I might kidnap you and chain you to my bed,” he says with a grin.
“No need, I’ll be there. Promise.”
“Okay, I’m going to ask Asher to come then. I don’t want to do this on my own.”
We finish our coffees and I start gathering my stuff. I pack the few things I brought and write my dad a note and stick it on the fridge.
Thanks for putting up with me. Love you!
We both leave my dad’s house at the same time but in separate cars.
“I love you,” Elijah calls right before he closes his driver’s side door.
“I love you too,” I mouth, watching him pull out of the driveway. I start my own engine and pull out a moment later. Instead of following Elijah to get onto the highway, I take a turn into town. I need to find a pharmacy, I need to take a test, and I need to do it now.
I park in the CVS parking lot a few minutes later. Grabbing onto the strap of my purse tightly as I walk inside and find the pregnancy test. I buy a double pack of the most expensive test they have. More expensive means better, right?
I pay and find the bathroom. I can’t wait another minute. In the stall, I rip open the package and unwrap one of the tests. After I awkwardly pee on the stupid stick, I lay it on some toilet paper and wait. I didn’t check how long I am supposed to wait until the results, I keep my eyes on the little screen, watching as the two red lines become more prominent with each second. Two lines. Pregnant.
I’m pregnant.
18
Elijah
Kelly agrees to meet us, go figure, at the Irish Pub. Asher and I arrive early, ordering a celebratory beer before shit hits the fan. I’m halfway done with my beer when Kelly walks in, her nose held high and her face is scrunching up as if she suddenly feels above the place.
“I guess when I was drunk, I didn’t notice how dirty and run down this place is,” she says, taking the seat next to us. “You brought your lawyer to a pub?”
“This is Asher, my brother,” I clarify. “And I highly doubt we are going to need a lawyer, considering that I am not the father.”
“How dare you!” She scowled at me. “Of course you would say something like this. Typical man. Having all the fun and none of the responsibility. Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t throw the whole ‘it could be anyone’s baby’ speech in my face when I first told you.”
“I didn’t throw it in your face because I thought the baby could actually be mine when you first told me, and if I would have been the father, I would have taken responsibility, but I am not.” I hate how hostile my voice sounds. I’m mad, fuck, more than mad, I’m livid. But still, she is a pregnant woman, and I hate the thought of scaring her.
“And how would you know?”
“Because the week you supposedly got pregnant with my baby, I was in Atlanta.”
She frowns but doesn’t look too surprised. Of course, she already knew. That witch already knew I’m not the father.
“I just want to know why? For money? Do you need money that bad?”
She sighs heavily, her shoulders sag and her face turns somber. Her whole demeanor changes as if a wall she was hiding behind suddenly crumbled in front of her feet. “Look, I’m going to tell you the truth, okay?” She shifts in her seat and briefly looks over her shoulder like she is making sure no one can hear her or something.
“Yes, I partially did it for the money. The actual father of this baby is out of the picture and I’m not going to lie, I’m freaking out thinking about raising a kid on my own. Obviously this wasn’t planned… none of this was planned!” she emphasizes. “The truth is, I haven’t even thought about you since that night we spent months ago. I knew what we had was nothing more than a one-night stand and I actually found out that I was pregnant a few days after that, so… I had other things on my mind besides you, to say the least—”
“Then how the hell did you end up at my office?” I interrupt her, wanting her to get to the most important part quicker.
“Last week, someone approached me. He told me that he was a private investigator and was hired to find someone like me,” she says, making air quotes with her fingers. “This whole thing was odd, and I was freaking out. I told the guy to beat it, but he wouldn’t let up and then he offered me a bunch of money.”
“Who was that guy and what exactly did he tell you?” Asher speaks for the first time.
Kelly glances over at my brother, then back to me. “I don’t know if I should tell you anymore. I probably already said more than I should have and I don’t want to get in trouble.” She starts to get up and I hold my arm up, blocking her way.
“Please, Kelly, tell me. I need to know who put you up to this.” My voice is soft, I lost my anger at her while I was listening to her. She is guilty uncomfortable and sorry about this. Someone preyed on this pregnant woman, used her vulnerability against her and I know all about that. I feel a kinship with her I haven’t felt before. I actually feel sorry for her now. All the rage I felt is now directed at the person who did this to her.
She sits back down in her seat. “That guy who contacted me, his name is Steve Thompson, and he told me that someone will pay me a lot of money if I come out and tell everyone that you are the father. I said no at first, but h
e was persistent. He told me that I never had to worry about money again. That my child would always be taken care of…” She trails off, looking around the room, guilt marring her face.
“Don’t feel bad for doing this. This isn’t your fault,” I tell her. She swings her gaze back to me, her eyes wide in shock about what I just said.
“I can’t believe you are so nice to me right now. I figured you would hate me, maybe even sue me or something.”
“I’m not mad at you, but please, do you know who hired Thompson?”
She nods slightly. “I don’t think Thompson was supposed to mention it. It looked like it slipped out.” She pauses for a moment before continuing. “At one of the meetings, he said, ‘my client’s son,’ referring to you. It’s your father. Your father hired Thompson, I don’t know why he did it, but according to Thompson, it was him. I’m really sorry… about all of this.”
I feel like the chair I’m sitting on is being pulled from underneath me and I am falling into a bottomless black hole. My father? Why? Why would he do this? More than before, I am grateful that Ash is with me now. I look over to him, finding the same shock I’m feeling plastered on his face.
“I should go,” Kelly whispers, getting up from her chair. This time I don’t stop her. “Again, I’m sorry.”
“If there is anything you need… for the baby or whatever, you can call me. I’ll help you out any way I can.”
“Are you serious? After everything… you are going to offer to help me?”
“Yes, I’m serious. Just please make sure everybody knows that the baby is not mine.”
“Of course, thank you,” she tells me, giving Asher a courteous smile and nod before walking out the pub.
For a moment, we just sit there in silence. Neither one of us knows what to say. It dawns on me that neither Ash nor myself, doubt what she said. It bothers me knowing that my father is capable of something like this. I don’t need Sherlock Holmes to figure out why he did this. He dislikes Bailey, he always did, he let us know more than once. He did this to drive a wedge between us, to end our relationship. Even worse, he almost succeeded.