He swiped my shoulder. “I work in healthcare. Maybe I can tell you if it’s just an ice pack kind of thing like you’re already doing, or if it’s a go to the hospital kind of thing.”
I knew my poor ribs weren’t that bad, but I lifted up my shirt anyway. “So? How’s it look?” I asked him after a few moments. He’d just been staring at me. No, not just staring. He’d licked his lips too. Here I was in pain and barely able to sit up, and he was thinking about sex.
I didn’t really mind all that much. I’d been thinking about having sex with him again too. It sucked that he lived so far away, and that he was so against a relationship. Otherwise we could have really had some fun together. At least, as long as I wasn’t in as much pain as I was right then. I really should have taken some pills or something before he came over.
Dion pushed my shirt up a little more than he needed to, exposing not just my ribs but also my chest. His fingers passed over my right nipple as he moved his hands, I assumed to give him a better look. The touch felt intentional, but his face gave nothing away if that was what he was trying to do. Still, I shivered at the brief contact.
“You’re lucky that nothing really looks broken. You don’t even have any major bruising. You don’t have a hematoma either.” He looked up at me, seemingly no longer concerned with my ribs.
I nodded. “Thanks. I don’t like going to doctors unless I have to. We don’t really have a clinic close.” He hadn’t let go of my shirt. I wondered what he was doing, up until the point that he bent his head and gently kissed my sternum.
“Dion,” I said with a soft sigh. I’d meant to reprimand him. Instead my voice had come out soft, practically needy.
He brought his mouth to my nipple. I wanted to tell him to stop, that we didn’t need to do this, that we, in fact, shouldn’t be doing it at all. But none of that came out. I brought my hand to the back of his head, keeping him pressed against me.
I hadn’t had any kind of sexual intimacy in almost a year. It didn’t take long for him to have me trembling under him just from his mouth on my sensitive little nipple. I bit my bottom lip to keep from moaning. Maybe it was how long it had been for me, or maybe I was kind of liking being outside, but I was surprised at just how much my body was responding to him. It was just his mouth on my nipple, his soft tongue lapping against my skin. He shouldn’t have had me practically ready to take off his pants.
I tugged on his hair, pulling him away from my chest and bringing his mouth up to mine. He slid onto my lap. He was a warm, solid weight against my thighs. I licked at his lips, teasing him without thinking about what I was doing, and how we couldn’t go further than this. I’d kiss him as long as I could, but we couldn’t have sex.
My hands went to his hips without me thinking about it. His muscles were tight under my fingers and I rubbed his back through his shirt.
“Tell me you want me,” he whispered against my lips.
“You know I do.” He didn’t need to be told the obvious. I kissed him once more before I leaned back. I didn’t stop touching him, though. I ran my hands down his chest, playing with his nipples as well. It was probably wrong to tease him, but I did want him. That wasn’t a lie.
Chapter Six
Dion
I knew better than to ask if Cameron wanted to have sex with me right then. I knew he did. I also knew that we wouldn’t be doing anything more than we already had. We wanted each other, but he was in a much different place mentally than I was. I really did only want to have some fun. He wanted a relationship, however he defined that.
I kissed him again and started to slide off his lap, but he stopped me with his hands firmly digging into my hips.
“You’re going to give me the wrong idea if you keep doing that,” I warned him.
Cameron nodded. “I know.” He looked up at me and sighed. “If you even got two days off in a row each week like a normal person then we could try to do this. You could come up on Friday night and stay until Sunday night.”
I thought it was funny how he thought I got any weekend days off, let alone an entire weekend. He seriously didn’t know my job if he thought there was that kind of schedule available for aides like me. “I haven’t had two days off in a row in nearly five months, and they definitely weren’t Saturday and Sunday. I think they were Tuesday and Wednesday or something useless like that. The reason I suck at having friends is because I can never get together with anyone on any kind of a regular basis. It’s pretty horrible all around.”
He gave me a pitying look. “You should quit.”
I laughed. “And do what? I’ve only ever done healthcare. Plus, I’ve got bills, and a lease. I can’t just quit. And even if I did up and leave my work, I’d still have to get a job right away.”
“But are you happy there?” Cameron asked me.
I shrugged while I tried to come up with a good answer, not just repeating what I’d already told him. In the end I couldn’t add on anything new. My boss not being homophobic and the fairly okay pay was about what I could manage as the good points of my job. “Not really. But it’s a job. So I guess I can’t really complain all that much. Right? I mean, most people aren’t exactly happy with their jobs.”
Cameron looked around and I looked with him. He had his family nearby, and all this land, and his horses. Maybe he did like his job. “I’m happy,” he pointed out.
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, but look at where you are.”
“You could be here too.”
He was asking me to spend the night and start dating him. I couldn’t date him because he lived too far away and I really didn’t have the time. But maybe I could call in. It was less than twelve hours before my shift though, and without a doctor’s note I’d likely get written up for it.
Cameron played with the button on my pants. He didn’t undo them, and his fiddling seemed to be mostly distracted playing, like he wasn’t actually aware of what he was doing or just how close he was to touching my dick. “Do you like horses at all? And people? And being on phones and updating websites and talking to people on social media?” Cameron asked me.
“I’m not driving an hour each way to come work for you,” I said almost instantly. “Not to mention how bad it would be to be screwing my boss. Are you insane?”
“Okay.”
I hadn’t really given his idea a chance, and he wasn’t exactly explaining what he’d really been asking me for either. “Why would you even ask me that anyway?” He’d actually sounded serious too. Not just like he’d wanted me closer to be able to screw me more often. I’d gotten that invite from plenty of guys before, but it was usually disguised as taking care of an elderly relative and staying in the guy’s house with him because it would be convenient, not helping to take care of a bunch of horses.
“I love training and riding. But I don’t like the social media parts or the posting videos or the talking to perspective buyers. I just want to go down to the barn and work with the horses. I’ve been looking for a partner off and on since we all got the farm and split it up. My family helps sometimes, but usually not. They’ll come to ride, but not to spend two hours updating the website or an hour responding to comments on the videos. It would be nice to find someone who didn’t mind that stuff.” He ran his hands over my hips and pulled me down to meet him. That, I knew, was deliberate. But it wasn’t the desperate come-fuck-me-now kind of deliberate I was used to getting from guys when I was on their lap. This was more playful, more seeing what I liked and what he liked and how far we could go without getting to that point of desperation. My point was definitely getting close.
I tried to think of the horses, and the job, and what we were actually talking about instead of how good it would be to have him again right there on his front porch. “And you’d pay them a salary? Whoever eventually came to work for you?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. Or, they’d probably make more if I split the profits of training and the horse sales. If I take twenty percent off the t
op to cover feed and other necessities, then that splits it forty-forty with whoever eventually wants to partner with me. I’d get to train and ride and do what I love all day. And they’d get to place stuff on Facebook and YouTube and whatever the hell else social media is these days because I’m definitely not good at it.”
Was forty percent good? I didn’t even know what a horse sold for these days. And, there really wasn’t even much use in considering it, or even talking about it. I wasn’t breaking my lease and moving in with him. Definitely not.
“Did you want to go riding at all today?” Cameron asked me after a few moments.
I nodded. I had. And then he’d gone and distracted me.
But soon we were walking toward the barn, hand in hand as we traipsed through what must have been his backyard, except there was no fence. It was just the grassy area between his house and the barn. “You don’t want horses up by the house?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I like having a little herb garden in the summer, and a place to have people over and to lay out in the sun and read. The horses make that slightly less possible, though I have considered fencing it a few times. I always decide against it, though. I’ve got fifty acres. They don’t all need to be fenced.”
Cameron led me into the barn, which smelled fresh hay and where horses stuck their heads over stall doors to greet me. “Do any of them bite?” I asked as I started walking to the nearest one, a big black horse with a white patch on its nose.
“They don’t. They’re not all ready to be ridden yet, but at least they won’t bite you first chance they get.”
As I went up to the black horse and began stroking her face I looked around for the familiar faces of the horses I’d seen last time. Only none of them were there. I saw six horses, all of them new to me. “Are the horses from last time in another barn somewhere?”
Cameron shook his head. “I turn over horses pretty quickly. The ones you saw last month have all gone on to new homes or, for the ones I was training, they’ve gone back to their homes. I rarely train for more than thirty days unless there’s a major problem behavior that needs to be worked out. Since I keep my numbers so low, I can do multiple training sessions in a day instead of just once or twice a week. If the horses are still doing well and not getting burnt out, it’s not hard to give them four thirty-minute sessions in a day instead of one intense five hour session once a week.”
I figured, with only having a few horses training at a time, he probably didn’t make all that much. It was probably much better for me to not even think about working for him since I’d be broke right away. But it would be fun. I was sure of that. I liked being around the horses. I liked looking at him. There wasn’t too much not to find good in his offer.
But I had a life an hour away from his farm, one that I generally liked. I’d miss Lyssa for sure. And my job had security. Living out here, doing what he did, there was security for him, absolutely, but not for me. If he got mad at me and we broke up or whatever, then what? I’d be homeless. That wasn’t something I was willing to risk.
“I’ve got a calm gelding if you want to go for a ride, and a mare who could use some more time under the saddle today,” he offered.
I nodded. A ride sounded like fun. I wanted to be around the horses. They were gentle and I loved the whiskers around their lips.
“I think he likes you,” Cameron said as the gelding I was petting began nibbling on my shirt sleeve.
I smiled at the horse. “I like him too. Will I be riding him?”
Cameron paused as he seemed to consider the two of us. Finally, he shrugged. “He won’t be the easy ride I had planned for you, but if you’re up for a bit of a lesson, and maybe getting some horse experience beyond just getting in the saddle and staying on, he’d be a good one for you.”
Frowning, I looked back at the horse. He seemed so gentle here while I was petting him, but maybe he was a totally different animal under saddle. “Is he dangerous?”
Cameron came up to us and I thought he was just going to pet the horse, but he actually slid his hand onto my side. I stepped in closer to him without even thinking about it. I just liked being near him, and being touched by him.
“I’d never put you on a horse that I knew would likely hurt you. I wouldn’t even ask you to hold the lead rope. I’m okay working with risky animals. I won’t ask anyone else to. This guy, he’ll test you, though. I’ll show you some of the basics to get him to go where you want him to, because he’s got this annoying habit of just turning around when he’s done and he’ll walk right back to the barn. He’s not mean about it, but for a little kid he isn’t a good choice, which is why he’s here. A mom wanted to trade him for one of the horses you all were riding last time, plus some cash on her side. He’s a good horse, he just knows how to get away with things because no one has really shown him that he has to do what they say yet.”
That didn’t sound too hard. “You sure he won’t just throw me or something if I try to argue with him?”
Cameron chuckled and his fingers played with the loose band of my pants. I doubted that he even realized what he was doing really. “He won’t throw you. Most likely. I try not to say absolutes because there could be this one thing that totally spooks him, and then ‘oh crap’ you’re on the ground and hopefully not hurt, but that can happen with any horse. So yes, you’ll be fine, if you’re interested in learning a little. Or I can put you on a horse that won’t test you at all and you can just take that nice leisurely ride you were planning on.”
I liked the challenge in his voice, whether he meant it to be there or not. To me it felt like he was trying to see if I was willing to take this one little risk, or if I wanted to play it safe around horses. Well, I liked risks. And presumably I wouldn’t be falling to my death from a little ride on this horse. “I’ll give him a try. Does he have a name?”
“Luther is what I’ve been calling him. The kid called him Patch.”
“I like Luther.”
Cameron gave me a kiss on the back of my head that had me blushing, then moved away from me. He walked down the barn and I saw him go into a room at the end of the aisle. I didn’t mind his affection. I actually liked it. Sure, we weren’t dating. But we’d been intimate and it was nice to be able to touch someone like we were doing. Maybe it meant something, maybe it didn’t. I was trying to just go with it because it really did feel good.
Chapter Seven
Cameron
I needed to stop touching him. I knew that Dion wasn’t mine. That was pretty obvious. He just wanted sex. I wanted a relationship. It should have been simple to just have him as Cindy’s girlfriend’s friend and leave it at that. Except somehow it wasn’t. And somehow I couldn’t stop touching him.
I got Luther’s tack ready. I had a few saddles for the different shapes and sizes of the horses I worked with. Luther was wide through his barrel and long in the back. It wasn’t an easy combination to match with, but I had amassed enough tack over the years that I had enough saddles for most horses, and those really hard-to-fit horses could be ridden in a bareback pad if I really needed to.
I should have grabbed the stallion’s tack too. He certainly needed the work, but my ribs had to have a break. Plus, if Luther decided to give Dion any crap I would need to be able to help him, and that wasn’t guaranteed to be possible if I was trying to handle my own horse as well. So I grabbed one of the sweeter mare’s tacks instead. Then I thought better of that too and just grabbed her bridle. I was sore and I deserved to be lazy. Plus, this wasn’t a training ride, not for the mare at least. For Luther, and for Dion, there would be plenty to learn.
I brought his tack over to him and grabbed one of the folding metal saddle stands I kept around the barn. “This is his saddle, bridle, and saddle pad,” I explained as I put them down.
“Yeah...”
The confusion in his voice made it obvious that he didn’t know where I was going with this. “The first ride, you didn’t have
to do anything. Now that you’ve come back, you get to learn how to tack up your own horse,” I told him with a grin.
He didn’t look so sure about that. “But what if I do it wrong?”
I chuckled and went to the mare’s stall. She cooperated nicely and let me put her halter and lead rope on her without any fuss. “Then you’ll end up with your saddle sideways on the horse and you’ll either be hanging on for dear life or you’ll be on the ground. I’ll show you what to do though, and then you’ll know for next time.”
I hadn’t meant to invite him out again, but I wasn’t sorry I had either. If he wanted to come out, he was welcome to. Maybe he could make this a regular thing. Not often enough for us to date, he’d already made that clear. But maybe cuddling and kissing someone I liked would be a nice substitute in the meantime.
I hated to think like that, though. I shouldn’t be considering him as just someone to pass time with until someone who wanted to have a relationship with me came along, but sometimes getting a little intimacy was better than having nothing at all. Maybe that’s how he felt too though. Maybe his way of settling just for sex was the same as my way of saying ‘Screw it I’ll just go with cuddling and kissing.’ I shook my head and grabbed a grooming box for each of us.
I hadn’t expected Dion to have Luther out of the stall and tied up ready to start grooming when I brought the box over to him, but he was in the stall with the horse so it was a good start. I said nothing as Luther lowered his head for Dion to put the halter on him. He knew what was going on, and he was a horse who enjoyed being out of the barn and going on an adventure. It just had to be on his terms, which was something I was hoping I’d be able to train him out of with enough work, though he’d been stubborn about it so far.
I watched Dion get Luther out of the stall, then I fixed his knot for him. He’d done a basic knot. I stepped in and did a slip knot for him so that we could easily get Luther free if he happened to spook or something.
Back in the Saddle Page 3