Movement in the line of trees had her forgetting the birds and tensing up but Malcolm dropped his hand to her knee, squeezing it in reassurance
“It’s just Trey and Claudia.”
Sure enough, the two teenagers came out of the trees and began to cross the field towards the motel. Kim tried to spot if they had anything with them but the bag on Claudia’s hip appeared empty.
The two of them didn’t seem too unhappy as they reached the road. Kim could spot the smiles on both their faces even at this distance. Trey must have said something funny because Claudia laughed and gave him a gentle shove. He made an exaggerated stumble before moving back to her side, laughing with her.
“He likes her,” Malcolm commented.
“You think?” Kim replied with a sideways glance before giving him a conspiratorial smile. “I think she likes him too.”
“Good. They need something nice.”
Despite the positive words, his tone was anything but positive. She put her hand over his and squeezed, her way of telling him to talk.
“I don’t know if we’re going to make it.”
Her stomach flipped at the doubt that laced his voice. It had been the first time she’d ever heard him be anything but confident in the future. It scared her.
“All of you followed me on my promise that I would get us to the island and now I think I’m not going to be able to keep my word.”
It broke her heart to see him struggling with the burden. She wished she could shoulder it for him but she knew that even if it was possible, he’d never let himself be free of it.
“I shouldn’t have done this.”
“You had no other choice,” Kim said but he shook his head.
“There were plenty of other choices. We could have just stayed in Virginia.”
“And what? Fort Lee was a disaster and I’m sure the other evacuation centres ended the same way. We would have still been on our own and for all you know we’d be in the exact same position. We’d still be searching for food and water and just as likely to have it taken back there.”
He continued to look out at the fields and she grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at her. “Malcolm, we all knew when we threw in with you that it wouldn’t be easy. We’ve had a setback, sure, but that doesn’t mean it’s over. You will get us there and it will be everything you promised.”
She could see the doubt in his eyes, his unwillingness to believe what she said. His doubt scared her but she pushed back her own fears. He’d been a rock to them since this started and now it was her turn to return the favour for him.
“All we had back in Virginia was the chance to survive. The island gives us a chance at something more. You said it was created to make sure our way of life continues. I’d rather pursue that than spend whatever is left of my life fighting others to survive. I want a chance to live. I want my son to have a chance to see the world restored to what he knew in his childhood. We couldn’t do that in Virginia but on the island we have a chance.”
His eyes softened at her words and though he was listening, she wasn’t sure if she had gotten through to him. She needed him to stop doubting himself. If the others got even a hint that their leader was questioning himself, the group would fall apart and then they definitely wouldn’t make it.
“But what if it’s not what I promised?” he asked.
She realized that this was the true heart of what had been gnawing at him.
“Then we will make it what you promised,” she said, her voice filled with conviction. “You aren’t alone in this. We’re all with you.”
His hand came up to cup her face and he leaned in to press a tender kiss to her mouth. “I love you, you know that, right?”
She nodded and leaned in to kiss him again. “And I love you. Now, let’s focus on figuring out what we are going to do to get the supplies we need to get us to the island.”
She stood up and held out her hand to him. He didn’t hesitate before grasping it, letting her help him to his feet. It was how it had to be. If one of them stumbled, the other was there to help.
They kept their hands linked as they strolled towards Veronica, who had been joined by Quinton and Lorraine, their replacements on watch duty.
“How goes it?” Quinton asked before biting down on the piece of jerky in his hand.
“Alright,” Malcolm replied. “Been thinking about what we can do to replenish our supplies. We know there’s a town about ten miles north. There’s also the railroad we passed a couple miles back that runs east and west. We send out two groups, one to the town to search the stores and houses there and one to walk the rails, see if there’s anything along them.”
“Who is going to go out?” Veronica asked.
“Jenny and Craig can’t move fast enough so they’re out,” Malcolm said. “Janet can stay with the kids. I need everybody else out there.”
“I can’t do that,” Veronica said. “Jackson and I made a promise that we won’t leave Audrey alone. One of us has to stay.”
“I appreciate that but we need to find food or none of us will make it, those girls included,” Malcolm said.
“Can one body really make that much of a difference?” Quinton asked.
“It could, we don’t know,” Malcolm replied. “What about bringing her with you? You’ve had her working with that .38. She’s good. It would benefit her to get some firsthand experience out there.”
“She’s only twelve years old,” Veronica pointed out and Kim understood her reluctance. Her own son was nearly seventeen years old and she hated the idea of him going anywhere outside of camp. But she knew that they were in dire straits and her comfort level didn’t matter.
“It’s good for her to go out now,” Kim said. “She needs to learn how to handle herself on a run. Better she does it today when we have so many people going out.”
Veronica looked out across the horizon, mulling it over for a moment before looking back at Malcolm. “If she goes, she’s with me and Jackson and we’re all in the group that walks the rails. She’s not ready to go into a town yet. And if she doesn’t want to go, I’m not going to make her.”
“Fair enough,” Malcolm replied. “You, Jackson, Claudia and Audrey will walk the rails. The rest of us will go into the town.”
“We need someone to stay here on watch,” Quinton said. “Jenny and Craig can’t climb up here and Janet can’t manage the kids and watch alone. She needs someone here.”
“I’ll stay,” Lorraine said. “I can do the watch alone and if Craig needs any medical attention, I’m here.”
Quinton scratched at the stubble on his chin. “Question now is what do we do with Alan?”
Alan had become a bit of a non-entity to the group as the constant bragging that they had been used to hearing from him had dried up. He had been quiet and kept to himself mostly, taking his watch shifts when he was needed.
“Like I said, we need everyone so we can cover the biggest search area,” Malcolm said. “He can search but we won’t rely on him to watch our backs.”
Kim could tell that the idea of Alan on the run bothered Malcolm. Despite his actions in Fairview, Alan had not earned back the full trust of the group. When they had gone on short runs, they had left him behind to guard the camp along with Lorraine. With Jenny still here and Lorraine watching over him, it had seemed worth the risk.
Now he would be out there with them. Kim didn’t know if they could trust him out there but if Malcolm was willing to risk it, she had to back him.
“We can do this,” Kim told the others. “We know the risks, we know our weaknesses. As long as we compensate for them, we’ve got this.”
Malcolm looked over at her, a smile on his face. She saw the hope shining in his eyes again and the worry that had dogged at her dissolved. The Malcolm she knew was back.
“She’s right,” he said. “We’ve got this. Everything we’ve gone through, the ambushes and attacks, we’ve learned from them. We’re going to go out there and we’re going t
o get what we need and we’re all going to come back.”
“Sounds good to me,” Quinton said and the others nodded.
“Alright, I’m going to go over the maps and check out the old phone books in the lobby, plan out where we want to hit. We’ll head out in an hour.”
There was a bounce to Malcolm’s step as she followed him to the edge of the roof. Yes, the lightness was back in her world and no matter how things played out today on the run, she was going to do everything in her power to keep it there.
Subject File # 750
Subject: Sometimes I hate how strong Audrey has become
Administrator: Why?
Subject: Because if she wasn’t, she’d be scared and willing to hide instead of wanting to fight. I’m afraid her strength is going to get her killed one day.
Veronica walked along the front of the motel, glancing in the windows of the rooms. They were still dark but she could see movement behind the glass as the rest of the group rose to face the day. Janet stood in the open doorway of the room she and the kids shared.
“Kids are late getting up,” Janet told her as she walked up. “I think they liked sleeping in real beds. I know I did.”
That was the one nice thing about the motel. Plenty of real beds to sleep in.
“It’s the little things, isn’t it?” Veronica replied.
Janet sighed. “Considering how bad everything else is, the little things are all we’ve got.”
Veronica reached out and laid a comforting hand on her arm. “We’ll have more than that soon. Malcolm has a plan.”
Janet put a hand over Veronica’s and smiled. “He always does. You better go get ready for whatever Malcolm has planned. Send the girls out for breakfast, I’ll look after them.”
“Thanks,” Veronica said and went to the room that she shared with Jackson and the girls.
She was quiet as she stepped inside but Jackson still shot up in bed, ready to fight, until he saw it was her silhouetted in the doorway.
He relaxed and she shut the door quietly, glancing over at the other bed where the girls were still sleeping. She walked to the end of the bed Jackson occupied and sat down, leaning down to untie the laces of her boots.
“Watch go okay?” he asked, his voice husky from sleep.
“Yeah,” she whispered as she pulled off her boot. “Quiet.”
Jackson nodded. “Same when I was up there. Not much of anythin’ ‘round these parts.”
It was true. The isolation kept them safe but it meant there was little to be found in the area when it came to supplies.
She glanced over at the girls, making sure that they were asleep. “Kim said we’re down to the last of the food today.”
Jackson ran a hand over his face and climbed out of the bed. “Malcolm tell ya much ‘bout what he’s thinkin’?”
“He spent most of the watch by himself,” she told him, tossing her boot to join the other. “I don’t know if he needed time to think or Kim helped him figure it out but he came up with a plan after she sat with him.”
She pulled her pack onto her lap so she could see its contents in the narrow strip of light filtering through the curtains.
“He wants us to split up into two groups today,” she said, pulling out a travel-sized pack of wet wipes. She frowned when she realized she was down to the last two in the pack but carefully sealed it back up before she started wiping her face with one. “One group will go into the town ten miles east. The other will walk the train tracks, see if we can find anything.”
“Sounds alright,” Jackson replied. “Which one of us does he want to go?”
“Both,” she said, “And he wants us to bring Audrey.”
Jackson’s head shot up. “Seriously?”
She nodded. “He wants as many bodies out there as possible but he agreed that if she didn’t want to go, I could stay here with them.”
“I want to come with you.”
They both turned at the sound of Audrey’s voice, neither realizing the girl had been awake the whole time.
“Audrey, I don’t--” she began but Audrey was quick to cut her off.
“I have to earn our place here.”
“What are you talking about?” Jackson asked.
“Me and Hannah aren’t doing anything to help the group. We’re almost out of food so why would anyone feed us if we aren’t doing something to earn it? I want to help so I earn our place.”
“Oh, Audrey.” She was heartsick that the girl was thinking that way. “Sweetie, nobody is going to let you guys go hungry and you certainly don’t have to earn anything to be a part of this group. Me and Jackson, that’s our job, okay?”
“I want to help,” Audrey repeated. “What’s the point of you showing me how to use a gun every night if I don’t go out there?”
She knew her only chance of getting the girl benched from the run was if she asked to stay but that didn’t seem likely. Audrey was determined to look after herself and her sister.
And that gave her an idea of how to convince the girl to stay.
“What about Hannah? You don’t want to leave her alone, right?” Veronica said.
At the sound of her name, Hannah sat up in bed, making it obvious she had been awake the whole time too. “I don’t want to be alone!”
“You won’t be alone. Janet will be here and the twins and Ruthie,” Audrey told her. “You guys can play games and have fun while we’re gone.”
“Oh,” Hannah said. “Then I want to stay and have fun.”
“See,” Audrey said, “Hannah’s fine with it.”
With her excuses tapped out, Veronica knew she had lost this one. It still didn’t sit right with her to have the girl out there. The look of fear on Audrey’s face when she had faced off with a freak back in Marysville was burned into her memory. She didn’t want the girl to ever feel like that again.
“She wants to earn for her and her sister, let her,” Jackson said. “Sides, she best get the feel for it in case anythin’ happens to us.”
Veronica realized Jackson had a very good point. If, God forbid, something happened to them, the girls needed to know how to take care of themselves.
“You swear to listen to every word we say?” Audrey nodded. “Fine, you can come, but the second I think you aren’t listening I’m bringing you right back here.”
“I promise, I promise,” Audrey said excitedly, jumping out of the bed and running across the room to throw her arms around Veronica. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, surprised that it meant so much to the girl.
“Ain’t gonna be a trip to the park,” Jackson said to Audrey. “It’s a learnin’ experience. Gonna teach ya how to watch your back, how to get into places, how to siphon gas. Hell, we get gas, should teach ya how to drive.”
“Really?” Audrey said eagerly at the same time Veronica scoffed.
“You’re insane. She is thirteen, she is too young to drive.”
Jackson waved a hand. “I was twelve when I took my first joyride. She’ll be fine.”
“Come on, Veronica, please,” Audrey whined.
“He wants to teach you, that’s fine. He’s going to be the one behind the wheel with you.” She looked over at Jackson with a smirk. “Enjoy that stress.”
“I’m going to get dressed and then go tell Trey I get to go,” Audrey said, grabbing her pack and flashlight before dashing into the bathroom.
“Can I learn to drive?” Hannah asked.
Veronica laughed and gestured to Jackson to answer the girl. She was done with being the bad guy here.
“Ya can learn when yer tall ‘nough to see over the wheel, Squirt,” Jackson replied and Hannah scrunched up her face and let out a huff of annoyance.
“That’ll take forever,” she said and threw herself dramatically back on the bed, spreading her limbs out like a tiny starfish. “I never get to do anything fun.”
“Thought ya were gonna play games with the twins?” Jackson asked.
; “Oh yeah.” She shot up in bed and scrambled off of it. “We found a deck of cards and Craig said he’d teach us Crazy Eights. Can I go see them?”
Veronica nodded. “Go on. They’re outside with Janet. She’s got breakfast for you.”
Hannah dashed out the door and Veronica sighed. “At least she’s easy to keep happy.”
“Pretty sure ya made Audrey happy sayin’ she could come,” he said. “‘Sides, lesser of two evils havin’ her go on the railroad. Odds are we won’t find anythin’ dangerous out there. Might not be so lucky for the ones goin’ into town.”
“I just hope we find what we need out there,” she said, unfolding the forgotten wet wipe in her hand. “I don’t know how much longer everybody can take it.”
“Got a while to go ‘fore we starve to death,” he said.
“I don’t mean physically.” She ran the wet wipe down her neck and then used it to wipe her hands clean. “Losing what we had, it’s so demoralizing, you know? It makes you think that only bad things happen.”
He came over and put his hand on her shoulder, mimicking the comforting gesture she had given to Janet outside. The gesture came much easier than it would have a week ago and she smiled inwardly at the changes in the man she had come to think of as a dear friend.
“Yer startin’ to sound as cynical as me,” he said. “Ain’t just bad things in the world. We’ll find what we need out there today.”
She put her hand on top of his own, holding on to him and letting her thumb caress his knuckles. She looked up at him, half his face still in shadows from the soft morning light that was filtering in the windows. The moment hung between them and she felt a sudden shift in the air, a tension coming to life that wasn’t exactly unpleasant.
This had been happening more often between them but when it did, Jackson usually bolted. His quick retreats were the only sign she had that he noticed it too.
He pulled his hand from her and stepped away from the bed. “Gonna go get us sorted with water for the run.”
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