by Me, Tara Sue
“You’re drunk,” he managed to ground out. Perhaps if he said it out loud, it’d keep him from doing something stupid.
“I’m not that drunk.”
“You are and you’ll regret this in the morning.” She attempted to slip her fingers under his waistband. He attempted to stand. “I should go.”
She pulled him back down. “Sit.”
“Kelly.” Damn it all to hell, if she kept this up, there was no way he’d be able to resist her.
“I’m going to tell you a secret.” She brushed his upper thigh, and he gritted his teeth. She no longer attempted to get her hands under his pants, but her touch over his pants was just as distracting.
“I don’t know if now’s the best time to be spilling secrets.” He should get some sort of award for the self-control he was showing. “Don’t say anything you’ll regret.”
“I don’t fuck the men I Top.”
Wait. What?
He slapped his hand down on top of hers. He needed to think clearly and that wouldn't happen with her wandering fingers. “Say that again.”
“I don’t fuck the men I Top.”
Jesus. Why was she telling him this? “Kelly, I…” he started but didn’t know what to say.
“It’s been so long.” She freed her hand and cupped his erection. “I don’t want to move to Dallas. Give me a reason to stay.”
“Kelly.” He shifted on the couch, so he could look into her eyes. “I can’t-”
She stopped him from saying anything else by pressing her lips to his. One touch of her mouth and all his carefully constructed arguments flew out the window. Hell, he wasn't a saint by anyone’s definition and her lips… Hot damn, her lips were sweeter than anything he’d ever imagined.
He moved closer to her, cupping her head in his hands, and titling his head so he could deepen the kiss. She parted her lips with a whimper, and he was gone. She pushed his shirt up, and he pulled back to jerk it off.
“Look at you,” Kelly said, running her hands up and down his abs.
Her touch was heaven, and he’d never been happier that he worked out. All those early morning jogs and push ups were well worth it for the look of appreciation in Kelly’s eyes. She dropped her head to kiss his chest, and he bit back a moan.
He slipped his hands into her long, red hair and it was just as soft and silky as he’d imagined. At the moment, he had a vision of her riding him, all that hair dancing around her shoulders as he thrust up into her. He tightened his grip on the soft strands.
Another image flashed in his mind: Kelly on her knees, his cock in her mouth and those gorgeous red waves brushing his thigh as she took him deeper and deeper. Later. Maybe not tonight, but soon.
Her hands fumbled with his zipper and she cursed softly when she found herself unable to pull the tab down. He reached a hand down to help, but when she sat up, he looked in her eyes. Damn it all to hell, what was he doing?
Her eyes had a hazy look, which told him all he needed to know. She was still under the influence of the alcohol she’d had at the party. He couldn’t continue.
It was the hardest thing he’d ever done, but he pulled back and shifted away from her. “We can’t tonight, Kelly. Not like this.”
“Not like what?”
“You’re drunk. I won't take advantage of you.”
She reached for him again, but he shook his head.
“It’s not taking advantage of me if I’m the one asking for it,” she said.
“All the more reason for me to stop this before it goes any further.”
“You don’t want me?”
Hell, she wasn’t going to get all weepy now, was she? “I didn’t say that. I said not right now. Later. When you’re sober.”
She looked uncertain for the first time. No matter how drunk she was, she recognized rejection when she heard it. And he hated that because he didn’t want to say no. He didn’t want to turn her down. He wanted to pick her up and carry her to bed and keep her occupied until there was no way she’d even think about moving to Dallas.
And then, just because he’d like it, he’d keep her there for a little while longer.
“Kelly.” He stroked her cheek. “Trust me when I tell you that there is nothing I want more than to continue this. But I’ve waited for you too damn long to do something you won't remember or might regret in the morning.”
He kept his gaze on hers, trying to convince her with all that he had in him that he was telling the truth. He wasn’t sure she got his message, though. She nodded and rose to her feet. “Okay. I’ll just go on to bed.”
She got up and walked down the hallway, disappearing into her bedroom. For a few seconds, he just sat there. Now what was he supposed to do? She was just going to leave him alone? She must be drunker than he thought.
He stood up and waited for her to come back. Surely, she was coming back. But when five minutes passed and she didn’t reappear, he walked down the hall toward her bedroom. The door was open, so he stuck his head in.
“Kelly?”
A snore came from the bed.
“Damn,” he muttered under his breath. She had undressed down to her underwear, but didn’t make it under the covers. He hesitated for a minute before taking the light blanket at the foot of the bed and pulling it over her.
He couldn’t leave now, there was no way to lock her door. With a heavy sigh he walked back into the living room. Looked like it was the sofa for him tonight.
Chapter Three
Kelly opened her eyes and immediately regretted the decision to do so. With a groan, she closed them, throwing a pillow over her head for good measure. What the hell had gotten into her last night? She couldn’t remember the last time she got drunk, but it was probably back in her college days.
She hoped to God she hadn’t done anything stupid, but unfortunately, she couldn’t remember much of the evening. Damn, what did she remember? It hurt her head, but she tried to think back.
Daniel and Julie had hosted the party at their house, which was crazy because they were getting married in less than three months. However, they both refused for anyone else to host. Daniel had said it was for “old time’s sake.”
But whatever.
Kelly recalled being tipsy and laughing with Sasha over something Abby said. Dena had been there earlier but she was in her third trimester and her husband, Jeff, had called their evening short. Evan came by while she was chatting with Sasha and Abby.
Evan?
Footsteps sounded coming down her hallway.
She sat up, reaching for her service weapon out of instinct, but it wasn’t on her nightstand where she normally kept it. Damn it, did she have anything she could use for a weapon? She spied her purse on the floor. No doubt her phone was in there and more than likely, dead.
“Kelly?” Her door creaked open.
“Evan?” she asked, and a flood of memories came rushing back. Evan driving her home and her asking him to come inside. Sitting on the couch with him. Talking. Kissing. His shirt coming off.
Her hand flew to her mouth. They hadn’t, had they?
She didn’t think so, seeing as she wasn’t naked.
“I didn’t wake you up, did I?” he asked. “I didn’t mean to if I did; just wanted to check on you. Daniel and Julie will be here in about an hour or so to drop off my car.”
Her brain was too jumbled to form words, much less speak them. She nodded to let him know she’d heard then grimaced in pain because nodding hurt.
“I can get you some water and aspirin if you’d like,” he said.
For some reason that irritated her. It was her house. What the hell was he doing standing there acting like it was any of his business if she wanted water or aspirin for crying out loud?
She sat up in bed, doing her best to ignore the pounding of her head. “I can get it myself, need to get up any way.”
“I was going to make you something for breakfast but I wasn’t sure if you’d be hungry when you woke up or if the thought of fo
od would make you feel sick.” He stepped aside and averted his eyes as she hurried by him.
“I’m not in the mood for anything right now.” She snatched the closest clean items she could find and hugged them to her chest. “You can fix yourself something to eat.”
Without waiting for him to respond, she stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She dropped her clothes on the countertop and braced herself to look in the mirror.
Thankfully, she felt worse than she looked. Since she’d been in college the last time she had a hangover this bad, she couldn’t remember how it impacted her appearance. Not that she cared how she looked to Evan.
Maybe if she kept telling herself that, she’d eventually believe it.
She splashed cold water on her face and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. A longer than normal toothbrushing rounded out all she felt like doing at the moment. It was just her luck she happened to pick up a pink t-shirt. Evan had forever teased her about wearing pink. She didn’t care if redheads weren’t supposed to wear the color, she liked it and therefore she’d wear it.
Holding her head high, she walked out of the bathroom and down the hall to her kitchen and Evan.
He stood at her stove, cooking something, and turned to give her his mischievous grin.
“You really are cooking breakfast,” she said because it didn’t fit the image she had of him at all.
“Just pancakes.” He shrugged. “I thought they’d be bland enough that if your stomach was off, you might be able to at least eat a few bites.”
Cooking Evan shocked her. Cooking and thoughtful Evan sent her mind in a whirlwind. Though she might be tempted to chalk the whirlwind up to her hangover, that wouldn’t be the entire truth.
She’d been attracted to him when all he ever showed her was his sarcastic side. Now that she had proof he could be thoughtful and caring? Hell, why was she only finding this out now that she was leaving?
“Can I help?” she asked.
“I’m almost finished,” he said. “But if you don’t mind grabbing a few plates, I’ll get these on the table.”
Five minutes later, they were sitting at her table eating a breakfast she’d never in a million and two years imagined ever taking place. And the fact that Evan’s pancakes were some of the best she’d ever had? Icing on the cake.
“So why Dallas?” he asked, lifting his fork up to take a bite.
“I grew up there. A lot of my family is still there, and a few friends. You know the kind you can go years without seeing but once you get together it’s like you’ve never been apart?”
“You have friends here.” Though he spoke it off-handed, she couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to his statement.
“Yes, and I also have to deal with snow.”
He rolled his eyes. “We still get less here than the average person.”
“In Dallas, snowfall is basically zero.” And she added as if an afterthought. “And it’s warmer, too.”
“What of your family is in Dallas?”
“My parents and sister are all in Dallas.”
“Are your parents still together?”
She smiled at the thought of her parents. “Fifty-seven years and counting.”
He whistled. “Wow. That’s rare these days.”
“Right? And they’re not getting any younger. They’re both healthy and they still live in the house I grew up in, but all it takes is one fall, a broken hip…” She shook her head, having seen it happen much too often. “I feel as if I should be there.”
“Which begs the question, and I have no doubt you’ll tell me exactly where to shove it if you want me to shut up, is why did you move to Delaware to begin with?”
Of course that would be his next question. It always was. But usually she could laugh off the reason and somehow she knew she couldn’t with Evan. “What reason does any woman leave family and friends behind?”
“Ah.” He grinned. “I feel as if I should say a fantastic promotion, but I get the distinct impression that’s not why you moved here.”
“Sadly, no. I followed a man I thought I was in love with.”
He frowned. “When was this?”
“Six years ago, maybe?” If she remembered right, Evan joined the Partners BDSM group five or six months after she did. “He was long gone by the time you joined.”
“And after the two of you parted ways, you stayed here instead of going back to Texas?”
“Yes,” she said, appreciating the fact he worded it “parted ways” instead of what it really was, being tossed aside like yesterday’s garbage. “Part of the reason I stayed was because I’d just got settled in with the Partner’s group.”
Evan probably assumed her ex had been a submissive since she was a Domme, but that couldn’t be farther than the truth. In fact, until her ex left her, she’d only experienced being a submissive. It wasn’t until she joined the Partner’s group she discovered she was actually a switch.
Though relieved to find she felt at home on either side of the paddle, she also felt alone and somewhat isolated, even among the group’s members. Not feeling totally accepted by either the submissives or the Dominants in the group, she’d classified herself as a Domme. Of course, that had been years ago and very few of those who knew her from her early days as a switch were still active members. She doubted they even remembered.
Either way, she wasn’t going to share any of that with Evan.
Wanting to change the subject, she asked him, “How did you learn to make awesome pancakes?”
His knowing grin told her he knew she’d only asked him out of a desperate attempt to avoid further questions about her past. Thankfully he didn’t seem to want to call her on it. “Years of practice at pancake breakfast fundraisers.”
She remembered he taught high school if for no other reason than it seemed like the very last thing he’d do. “What do you teach again?” She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard, especially since she’d never had an actual conversation with him before today.
“American History. Regular. Honors. Advanced Placement.”
“No shit?” she asked before she could stop herself, because there was no way she’d heard that before. No way would she have forgotten he taught history.
He laughed at her reply. “For real. No shit.”
“I’m sorry. I meant nothing by saying that. Only when I heard you taught, I assumed PE or something like that.”
“Nah, I’ve never been that athletic.”
She cocked an eyebrow at him. “I find that hard to believe.”
He held up his hand as if taking an oath. “Honest-to-God truth. I suck at all sports.”
“Mmm.” Kelly still found that hard to believe.
“Let me guess,” he said in a teasing voice. “You were a star athlete in high school?”
“Varsity track and field, and girl’s varsity basketball team captain.”
“I totally called it. Now, tell me why you decided to be a cop.”
She wasn’t sure she wanted to tell him the whole story, but he’d been honest with her about how horrible he was at sports. “I was a Communication major. I had no idea what one did with a Communication degree, and I really didn’t care because I’d received a track and field scholarship and I had to major in something. What it was didn’t matter to me. I planned to compete in the Olympics.”
“The Olympics, Olympics?”
She nodded, and he gave a low whistle.
“That’s major.”
“Yes. Which is why I was devastated when I tore my ACL to sherds the summer before my Junior year.” It was a long time ago, and though she no longer experienced the overwhelming sense of loss she did at one time, it still hurt a bit when she looked back on that time.
“I can’t even imagine how difficult that was.” He both looked and sounded sincere and she couldn’t help but feel sad she was only just seeing and talking to the real Evan. Not only that, but she was enjoying herself as well. Why now after all this ti
me was she just seeing there was more to Evan than his handsome face and teasing ways? She had been an idiot and a half to have never once even tried to look beyond the surface he showed.
It wouldn’t do any good to look at what might have been. She’d had the last several years to get to know Evan and now it was too late. There wasn’t anything either of them could do now this late in the game.
And that was a damn shame.
Chapter Four
Two Months Later
Wilmington, Delaware
Kelly would be lying if she said she hadn’t been counting the days to Julie and Daniel’s wedding. When she originally accepted the job in Texas, she’d never have thought that would be the case, but there you had it; she missed Delaware.
Although not necessarily the city itself. More specifically, she missed her friends. She told herself it was to be expected. She’d lived in Delaware for years and the friendships she’d made here couldn’t be replaced overnight. There were several people she’d met in her first few months in Dallas she could call ‘friend’ and hopefully one day, they’d be as close as her Wilmington friends.
But there was one big difference. Most of her friends in Wilmington she’d met at the Partner’s group. She had yet to attend a BDSM group meeting inTexas. Not for lack of looking, but none of the groups she found online seemed to be anything like the one she left behind here. It was possible she was being too picky but she didn’t think so.
It was Saturday afternoon, and she’d arrived back in town late the night before. Too late to call anyone, and to be honest, there was only one person she gave serious thought about calling when she made it to her hotel room past midnight.
And she’d left her phone alone. Even though they had exchanged a few text messages over the last few months, her exchanges with Evan had never gone any deeper than the high level, ‘how are you’ sort. For all she knew, Evan had a plus one he’d bring to the wedding today.
She’d picked out the dress she’d wear to the nuptials with care, telling herself she didn’t care what Evan would think of it, but knowing she wasn't fooling anyone. In the end she bought a pale pink, form fitted dress with a flared skirt. Times past, he’d tease her mercilessly whenever she wore her favorite color. She wasn’t sure what bozo decided that redheads weren’t supposed to wear pink, but he could stuff it. Evan could as well.