She picked up the tea pitcher and slid it into the fridge. “Then maybe you need to swallow your pride and have a conversation with him about what actually happened. Why you left. And most importantly, why you haven’t been back. He needs the closure as much as you do.”
I hated that she’d gotten so wise. It probably came with being a mom. Regardless, I wasn’t willing to tell her she was right. She knew it, and that would have to be enough. For now.
“Based on how things went down in the driveway, I don’t think it’s the best idea.” That wasn’t true, but I’d cling to it.
“Don’t you have any desire to be able to come home again?” Well, that took an unexpected twist. “Be able to bring Eason with you to see your family? Spend time with your nieces and nephew…without the animosity and lingering resentment.”
“Sarah, Eason isn’t—”
She waved me off. “He doesn’t have to come.”
This was so much bigger than Austin. I wished my sister recognized the situation for what it was. Yet before I could explain any of that, the screen door flew open and banged against the frame as a flash of boy raced through the kitchen.
My sister tried to grab her son. She couldn’t move as quickly as he did, and her left arm slinking out to catch him did little other than slow him down a tad. “Rand.”
I’d hated that tone when I got it from her in high school. Sarah could take one syllable and draw it into two, starting with a low pitch, then to high, and back to low.
Rand slid to a stop on the opposite side of the kitchen. He stood stock-still, and I giggled when he didn’t face his mother. “Yes, ma’am?” His little voice made my heart jump.
I’d never been a fan of kids, but there was something about my sister’s only son that tugged on my heart, and I didn’t even know him. I’d only caught a glimpse of him outside the barn, and staring at his back certainly wasn’t what I’d call an introduction.
“Turn…” Sarah once again morphed one syllable into two.
The poor kid was about to get the wrath of Sarah Adams—or I guess it was Sarah Burin now. If only someone could save him, swoop in and whisk him away. In another life, I might have been that person. Every fiber of my being wanted to run by her, tuck him under my arm, and race out the front door.
Rand did as his mother instructed.
“Randall Burin, what do you have all over you?” She reached for paper towels.
He could have gotten away. There was no way Sarah would ever catch him. He fidgeted, clearly thinking about taking off. Instead, he held his ground, planted his feet, and stood tall. “Poop.”
Good thing I had held off on that impromptu rescue. Gross.
Sarah flinched. “What do you mean?” Surely, she could smell it. It was hard to miss now that he’d stopped moving.
His big, brown eyes peered up with an innocence I didn’t believe he possessed. “I was jus’ tryin’ ta help.” Okay, so maybe he was as pure as he appeared…or I’d become a sucker for the cutest kid in the world.
My sister took hold of the counter and tried her best to lower herself to his level. When I moved to help her, she glared at me, daring me to take one more step in her direction. She settled on her knees, less than gracefully, and folded her hands in her lap. That was a move I’d never seen as a kid.
“Who were you trying to help?” She even sounded like Mama—the understanding Mama, not the one who got mad when I did stupid things.
In some ways, it hurt to hear and see her maturing into the woman who’d left us, and in others, it made me happy to know her kids had a woman like the one I’d adored until I was ten. Only, Sarah would never abandon her kids—not for anything in the world.
“Tin Tin.” Rand’s eyes welled with crocodile tears.
I didn’t know who Tin Tin was, but I had half a mind to knock my sister over to get to her son. Poop washed off, hurt didn’t, and Rand was upset.
Sarah rubbed his arm—the part without manure on it. “What happened?”
The screen door banged for the second time in two minutes, and in walked Austin. Damn, this day couldn’t end soon enough. “He tried to put a bit in Nugget’s mouth.”
“Oh sweetie, you shouldn’t do that kind of thing without help. Nugget’s a very finicky horse.”
I flinched. Nugget had been one of the most docile creatures I’d ever encountered. I couldn’t imagine he’d be any different.
Austin maintained the scowl he’d stomped in with. “I’ve told you to stay away from that horse, Rand. You could have gotten hurt.” Maybe his anger was born from fear; I didn’t know. I was still stuck on my horse being anything other than friendly.
Rand hung his head in shame. Tears dropped to the floor, yet he made no attempt to wipe them away. “I thought”—he stammered—“I-I…he could make Aunt Randi smile.”
Sarah shook her head, and my brow arched. “Why would you think the horse would make Aunt Miranda smile?”
He didn’t answer right off.
“Or that she needed to?” she continued.
“Tin Tin said she loved Nugget.” He looked up and stared straight into my eyes the way he’d done next to the barn—without fear or reservation. “And she was sad.”
My sister and her brother-in-law shifted to me with accusing glares.
I let out a long breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. Instead of giving one of them my attention, I held Rand’s. “He heard us argue in the driveway. When Austin walked way, he was at the corner of the barn. I don’t know what all he heard.”
The little boy lost control of his emotions. Hiccups and jerky sobs accompanied the tears. “You’re just like Papa, Tin Tin. You teld me how much you loved her…” He balled his fists at his sides and tried not to yell, but he lost the struggle. “You said she was your Spiderman. You lies.”
I could only assume Spiderman held significance in Rand’s life. He didn’t skip a beat to allow me to interject and ask that question, and I certainly wasn’t about to interrupt.
“You were mean and screamed. She gonna leave.” He gasped for breath, and his little shoulder shook. “And this time, it won’t be Papa’s fault.” Then, he raised his right hand and pointed at his uncle. “It’s yours!”
10
Austin
Past
“Miranda,” Sheriff Patton repeated. “Darlin’, I need to speak with you.”
My attention flicked between the sheriff and my girlfriend. Something was terribly wrong. Everything about his posture, his demeanor, it all put me on edge. His hands on his hips and his lowered head made me uneasy. With his chin down, I couldn’t see the sheriff’s face, and then he turned his attention to me.
“Austin, son, why don’t you bring her up here.”
“Yes, sir.”
Nervous energy pumped through my veins and drove me across the lake as I swam toward Randi. I was lost as to what his agenda might be; nevertheless, I wasn’t brave enough to disobey. I popped up at Randi’s side and motioned for us to get out of the water. She shook her head, adamantly refusing to go.
“Sweetheart, the sheriff needs to talk to you. I don’t think it’s open for discussion.” I couldn’t tell which of us was more terrified, so I pretended it wasn’t me and took her hand. “Come on. I’ll go with you.” I tried to wink, although it came off more like an awkward twitch and did nothing to soothe her.
Randi glanced back at our friends. I didn’t bother. I could sense their stares. I didn’t need confirmation that they all had the same sick feeling I did.
We neared the top of the trail, and the patrol car came into view, as did the flashing lights on top of it. Time sped forward yet crept at a snail’s pace. It seemed like only seconds since the sheriff had called Randi’s name, but every step we took was labored and slow. I had the time to take in the details of Sheriff Patton’s dirty shoes and worn uniform—it had seen better days. And once we stood in front of him, I’d memorized every wrinkle and crevice in his leathery skin, trying to determine why he
was here.
He removed his hat and held it to his chest. His bald head glistened with sweat in the summer sun, and I forced myself to stay focused on his face. But my gaze moved with his hand that landed squarely on Randi’s shoulder. The sheriff quickly found my eyes, and in that split second, I saw that whatever he planned to say would decimate Randi. I braced myself to catch her.
Sheriff Patton met Randi’s stare and inhaled. His chest expanded, and then he appeared to hold his breath. “Darlin’, there’s been an accident.”
In my gut, I knew he referred to the one we’d heard, the one Randi had wanted to check on. And if he’d come to find her, someone she was close to had been involved.
Randi shook her head. “I-I don’t understand.”
Again, Sheriff Patton grabbed my attention without uttering a word and then faced Randi. “You need to come with me.”
Her head jerked back, and she steeled her expression. “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.” Randi’s sharp tongue only spoke to her fear, and the sheriff recognized that as quickly as I did. She folded her arms and cocked her hip out in confidence. Unfortunately, I noticed her hands shaking, even if she tried to hide them.
“We need to get you to the hospital.” Sheriff Patton struggled to maintain his composure. He’d known Randi all her life. The quiver in his chin worried me more than the words he spoke.
I hovered between reality and what had to be a nightmare. My mind raced as I considered whether her sister or her dad had been out by the lake and why. We’d laughed at how angry Sarah was when Randi left the house. Now, I wondered what we’d done. Randi might not have put the pieces together, and I hoped she never did, but they hit me like a freight train at full speed.
“Who?” she asked.
I hated to hear the answer. Now was the perfect moment for time to stop altogether. I’d give anything to go back to an hour earlier and change everything.
“Sarah,” he choked out, and then promptly lost control of his emotions.
I couldn’t remember ever seeing a grown man cry.
Sheriff Patton covered his mouth and swallowed hard. “If you want to say goodbye, we need to go now, Miranda.”
The freight train that had hit me seconds earlier plowed past me and took Randi out with that sentence. I caught her when her knees buckled. It was a reflex, not forethought.
“Austin!”
My name registered in my ears, the person shouting it did not. I did my best to turn, yet with Randi in my arms, it took everything I had not to drop her. She’d become dead weight. I couldn’t tell if she’d passed out or just lost the ability to hold herself together.
“Austin!” Brock.
I didn’t have time to answer questions. Instead, I put my arm under Randi’s knees and lifted her to my chest. Somehow, I’d missed her moaning, and the tears that normally tore me to shreds didn’t hit me, either. Time no longer stood still, we weren’t hovering in a dream state—we’d entered hell at warp speed, and the fire lapped at my feet. I couldn’t decipher cries from footsteps or directions.
All I could process were the sheriff’s words. If Randi wanted to say goodbye to her sister, we had to go. Now. Brock got to the passenger door of my truck before I did and opened it. I slid my girlfriend into the seat and managed to buckle in her crumpled body. When I rounded the hood, Brock had beaten me to that side, too.
He held out his hand. “Keys?”
I stared at him. At first, I didn’t understand what he meant, but then it registered. “In the ignition.” My voice sounded a million miles away.
“Scoot in. I’m driving,” he announced.
Following instructions proved to be easier than making decisions, so I did what he told me. There wasn’t a seatbelt in the center, but somehow, I doubted Sheriff Patton would make an issue out of it. Randi curled into me, and I put my arm around her. I didn’t have a clue what we would find when we got to the hospital, or if we’d even make it in time. What I did know was that I needed to pull myself together. I’d promised her a long time ago that I’d protect her, and now, it was time to step up and make good on that.
The road we used to get to the lake had never been paved, and it was littered with potholes that made the ride down bumpy. Brock followed behind Sheriff Patton, who seemed to have thrown caution to the wind as he flew over the old country road. At last, we hit the paved street, and the ride evened out.
Randi sat up and pulled out of my embrace. “It’s my fault, Austin.”
Brock leaned forward to face her while he continued to check the road in front of him. “How is it your fault?”
He must have gotten information from the sheriff since neither Randi nor I had told him anything, and he hadn’t been up there when we’d received the news.
She rubbed her snotty nose on her bare arm. I reached into the glove box and prayed there was a napkin or something in there to give her.
“I left when I wasn’t supposed to. If that accident we heard was my sister, then the only reason she had to be anywhere near the lake was to chase me.”
I handed Randi a wadded-up tissue that I hoped was clean, although I wouldn’t bet my life on it or where it had come from. And Brock returned his focus to the road without commenting on her proclamation one way or the other. I didn’t need to question Brock—neither Brock nor I agreed with her.
The blue lights held me in a trance as we rode the rest of the way in silence. I’d always thought it would be cool to have a police escort with flashing lights and sirens, yet following the cop car didn’t fill me with anything other than dread.
* * *
Mr. Adams’s hard glare met us at the entrance to the emergency room. “Where the hell you been?”
Pointing out that the two of us were damp, barefoot, and wearing nothing other than swimsuits wouldn’t prove to be a wise move on my part. I chose to remain quiet and let Randi handle her father until he directed his questions at me. Which was about two seconds after he’d asked Randi, who hadn’t answered.
Mr. Adams practically growled in my face. “Well?” His presence hadn’t been this intimidating in years, yet suddenly, he was larger than life and angry as hell.
I cleared my throat and prepared to be the man I’d promised Randi she’d always have at her side. “We got here as quickly as we could, sir.” It would have been nice to have backup in the form of my best friend at my side, but Brock had gone to park the truck.
Jack cracked his knuckles and posed the question a different way. “And where were you comin’ from?” The last word became a hum that hung in the air, daring me to answer.
There had never been a time I believed Jack Adams would physically hurt me. Until that moment. I’d always had a healthy dose of fear, but in the South that was called respect. I ground my teeth together and prepared for whatever lashing he dealt. “The lake.”
“The lake,” he repeated in a dry monotone. Then he angled his head toward Randi. “That where you were supposed to be, li’l girl?”
I’d heard the voice of an irate Mr. Adams in the past. More than once, Randi and I had been scolded for stupid things kids did. This level of rage hit a whole new dimension. I didn’t recognize the man talking to his daughter. His face contorted into a menacing expression, and his tone had dropped two octaves, while the volume rose. It was the equivalent of a spoken sonic boom.
“No, sir.”
I glanced at Randi. She hadn’t crumpled into a sobbing mess. There were no more tears. Her shoulders weren’t slumped, and her head wasn’t hung in shame.
Mr. Adams raised his hand in the blink of an eye, and Randi remained stoic. Her demeanor was the complete opposite of what it had been in the truck, like she’d accepted her role in this mess and planned to take whatever lashing she got without flinching.
Not on my watch.
He swung, and I stepped between Randi and her father, catching his wrist in my hand. If Jack Adams had an urge to beat on someone, it could be me. It sure as hell would
n’t be Randi.
“She needs to see Sarah.” I didn’t regret intervening. I might later, but right now, my only concern was my girlfriend saying goodbye to her sister and making whatever amends she needed. Jack would be around tomorrow; Sarah might not.
Jack jerked free from my grasp and stepped back. Something passed between us when he held my stare. For the rest of my life, I’d believe that moment defined who I’d become to Randi. It also signified the moment her dad lost her. She was no longer his little girl. I wanted to sympathize with him. I could only imagine how he must have felt to lose both of his children in one day, even if neither were physically gone yet. The pain would be excruciating.
“Sarah’s in surgery. If she makes it out, Miranda won’t be the first to see her. That I can assure you.”
I opened my mouth to tell him I understood his grief, although I didn’t really, but Randi beat me to a response.
“I understand.” She kept her voice low enough for the other people around not to hear. Then she took a seat in the corner of the waiting room.
Her expression remained blank. I imagined it was how a corpse looked before it was made up by the funeral home. She appeared to be made of wax instead of flesh. The beautiful girl I loved more than life itself was vacant and lifeless. If her chest hadn’t continued to rise and fall, or if I hadn’t seen her blink every once in a while, I could have been convinced she’d died with her sister.
I took a step toward the nurses’ station when Jack stopped me.
“Where you goin’, boy?”
I flicked my sight toward his hand on my bicep and then looked at his face. It was the first time that I noticed I now stood taller than Jack and had about twenty pounds on him. I was no longer a kid that any adult could push around. He must have recognized the same thing, because he dropped my arm.
“To see about getting Randi some clothes.” I sneered. It took every ounce of control I could muster not to spit in the man’s face. “In case you missed it, your daughter is sitting in a cold waiting room in a wet bikini. Not only do I think that’s bad for her health, I don’t like people staring at my girlfriend’s body.” As if I’d made up her current state and attire, he took note of her in the corner. “If you’d kindly step aside, sir, I’d like to get something to cover her.”
Gravel Road Page 17