But could he love me? That is much less likely. Do I want him to love me? I begin to think that I might, but it is too soon to say for certain. This is all too new and too unexpected. But he is wonderful.
CHAPTER 35
I am giddy; expectation whirls me round.
TROILUS AND CRESSIDA, ACT III, SCENE II
“We might as well begin at the beginning,” the colonel said, looking over the play. “I think we should start today’s rehearsal from the moment when the three of us make our first entrance.”
“We are missing a couple of players for that scene,” Mr. Darcy observed.
“We do have two extra people who could read those parts,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said. “You would not mind reading Leonato for us, would you, Miss Bennet?”
“Not at all,” Jane replied.
“And would you play Beatrice, Miss Elizabeth?”
“Very willingly,” Elizabeth said.
“Then it can be done. There is just one line of Don John’s, but anybody could say that.”
I see what you are about, Mr. Darcy thought, eying his cousin suspiciously. You think to increase my feelings by throwing us together. It will not work. I will make up my own mind and be persuaded by no one. But I do not mind the chance of acting with her as Beatrice. As far as that goes, you do me a great favour. It will be easier to practice my part with somebody capable of speaking that role. And it will be very enjoyable to act with her too.
Their scene included the first exchange of banter between Benedick and Beatrice, and it was now very different from the first time they had read it. No longer was a crow shrieking in Mr. Darcy’s ears. No longer was his Beatrice a sad disappointment. She was as merry in her voice and playful in her manner as he had imagined. This was how he wanted to be acting. This was fun, and altogether delightful.
After that scene, they did their parts at the masque, with Mr. Darcy playing Balthazar for Elizabeth’s benefit. He was happy to replace Mr. Denny, and to finally have a chance of dancing with her, even though it was just a few steps as they came forward to say their lines and then moved away again. It was a pity that there was nobody to say that they needed to repeat their efforts this time.
But in another moment, he was able to dance with her again. At Colonel Fitzwilliam’s suggestion, Mr. Bingley and Jane played Ursula and Antonio, “for the purpose of keeping the scene moving as it should,” and then Elizabeth did another turn as Beatrice. Mr. Darcy was delighted to take her arm for a few more steps in which he felt that they were perfectly matched. This was a fine way to spend a morning.
The rest of that scene was quite lengthy, as the other one had been, and they repeated several parts, as well as pausing a few times to discuss the nuances of their roles and such matters as their positioning or their entrances and exits. There was also plenty of additional conversation, which contributed to the passing of several hours.
After a break for luncheon, they resumed rehearsals with the scene in which Benedick was given to understand that Beatrice was in love with him.
“Miss Bennet can play Leonato again,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said. “And you must be Balthazar, Miss Elizabeth.”
“I hope you do not expect me to sing,” Elizabeth said. “I think we could just skip over that part.”
“I think we should include every detail in order to set the scene properly.”
“You wish me to slander music?” she queried with a smile.
Mr. Darcy smiled at this amusing quote from Balthazar’s own speeches.
“I pray thee, sing,” the colonel replied, using his own character’s line.
“You may regret it.”
“I am certain that I shall not. Darcy tells me that you sing very well.”
“When was this?” She looked at Mr. Darcy. “You have only heard me sing once, and I do not think it was any great performance.”
“I thought your voice was very pleasing,” he said.
“Not like a howling dog?”
He laughed at this reference to Benedick’s description of Balthazar’s singing. “Nothing like,” he assured her.
“It seems that I must sing then, but I shall not be accountable for the effect upon anybody’s ears.”
“In a minute, you will be accountable for my soliloquy being spoken without the proper solemnity,” he said with a smile. “I must beg of you to look perfectly serious while I contemplate the foolishness of love.”
She assumed a serious expression and promised to turn away if any sudden mirth came upon her. Mr. Darcy began, doing his best to speak the lines with Benedict’s feelings even though he did not think love foolish or incomprehensible. He was indeed converted. He did see with the eyes of a lover.
As he described the lady whom Benedick believed to be his ideal match, Mr. Darcy wanted to blush for his own particularity. She must be rich, beautiful, intelligent. An excellent musician. Mild-mannered. Ha! He wanted no mild-mannered lady. He wanted Elizabeth, who had a spirited tongue, was without fortune, and made mistakes when she played the pianoforte.
As he hid in the still-imaginary arbor, she entered with the others and proceeded to play Balthazar very well, which was further testament to the excellence of her acting skills. He thought her singing very good as well. Her voice had not suffered from the lack of application to which she had once confessed.
She did smile when he said, “if a dog had howled like that,” which made him smile back at her, but that was their only step out of character. Her turn as Balthazar was then complete, and she exited to await her reappearance as Beatrice, which Mr. Darcy eagerly anticipated.
The rest of the cast exited just before Benedick’s second soliloquy, but just as Mr. Darcy was beginning, Colonel Fitzwilliam interrupted him to say, “It occurs to me that I could play Ursula to help Miss Bennet rehearse her next scene while you and Miss Elizabeth finish this one. We can go into the other room.”
Jane declared her approval of this idea, and the two of them hastened out of the room with Mr. Bingley quickly following.
Is Bingley scheming with Richard? Mr. Darcy asked himself. No, that is not possible. I am being excessively suspicious. Obviously, he just wanted to follow Miss Bennet.
He set aside thoughts of schemes and began his speech again with his audience of one. The one person in front of whom he most wanted to act. The one person whose opinion he valued the most. The one person in all the world who meant the most to him.
She watched him with a serious expression now, and as he directed his speech to her, he felt great confidence in his performance. They finished the scene with the brief exchange between Beatrice and Benedick, and as Elizabeth spoke these lines, he felt that she was particularly brilliant. He felt that they belonged together. In this performance, and in life.
I am altered, Mr. Darcy thought. I can overlook her situation and tolerate her family. I can choose in accordance with my desires.
I shall marry her. My mind is quite made up. I know that my choice is unusual, but I am confident that it is the right one. Most of my relatives will not like it, but they will eventually come around. Many of my acquaintances will be astonished at first, but they will soon learn to appreciate her shining wit and sparkling liveliness. My servants may be surprised by the match as well, but they will quickly form respect and appreciation for their new mistress.
Georgiana is certain to love her. Their natures are very different, but she will admire as I admire and love as I love. Richard will be very happy for me, and so will Bingley. He will probably marry her sister, and I shall not disapprove as I once thought I would. Now I can understand the temptation and approve the choice of happiness. We shall not be making brilliant matches, but we shall have wives whom we adore with all our hearts. It is a dazzling prospect.
Yes, I shall marry her. She will be mistress of Pemberley. And have the best roles in all our future theatricals. Romance, tragedy, comedy – we shall act it all. Together we can play the great theatrical couples. Together we can be a great couple
.
Like a hell broth boil and bubble.
MACBETH, ACT IV, SCENE I
“What is everybody doing without us?” Miss Bingley asked when her sister returned after having briefly been downstairs to fetch something.
“They are acting,” Mrs. Hurst replied. “It appears that Miss Elizabeth has usurped your role.”
“How dare she!” Miss Bingley cried in a crackling voice. “The role of Beatrice is mine. Mr. Darcy is mine. I must get out of bed at once and go downstairs to reclaim my part.”
She pushed the bed covers back and weakly sat herself up.
“It is too soon. You are still very unwell.”
“But I must get up.” Miss Bingley eased her legs out of the bed, but she had not the strength to stand upon them, and the fever was causing her to shiver.
“You must rest.” Mrs. Hurst insisted.
“I suppose there is no choice.” Miss Bingley collapsed back upon her pillow and pulled feebly at the covers. “But I shall learn my part to perfection while I am lying here. You can help me practice it, Louisa. And you must hold the folio, for I am too weak.”
“Yes, Caroline,” Mrs. Hurst said with bitter resignation.
“And straighten these covers.”
“Yes, Caroline.”
“And ring for some tea. I must have something to soothe my throat.”
“Yes, Caroline.”
Every man hath his fault…
TIMON OF ATHENS, ACT III, SCENE I
Her sister and the other two gentlemen seemed to be taking a very long time over their scene, but Elizabeth did not mind. There was a time when she would not have liked to be in a room with only Mr. Darcy, but that time had passed. Indeed, she recalled that only a week ago they had been left by themselves together for about half an hour, and he had not once looked up from his book, which she had not minded in the slightest. Today, however, he was entirely attentive to her, which gladdened her heart.
I am almost turned into Miss Bingley, she thought with amusement. I cling to his every word and long for him to look at me. And to think that only a week ago I wished that he would not. Now there is nothing which makes me as happy as being with him.
But I should not think of this. I do not care what Mr. Wickham says, but I have seen for myself that Mr. Darcy has exceptionally high standards. Even though he is more delightful than I ever imagined possible, he must still be as particular as ever. If I allow myself to love him, I will only be setting myself up for disappointment.
But he does seem to think of me as a good friend now, which is pleasant. If Jane is so fortunate as to receive an offer from Mr. Bingley, and if in consequence of their marriage, I happen to see Mr. Darcy frequently, then his company will be enjoyable. But I will not think of him in any other way. I must not.
It was very difficult not to, however. He was perched on the edge of his chair, leaning toward her with comfortable informality, laughing and talking with ease, and making her feel as though they belonged together.
When at last their fellow actors returned, they rehearsed the scene in which Don John told Claudio and Don Pedro that Hero was unfaithful.
“I do think that Claudio was very hasty in judging her,” Mr. Bingley said afterwards. “He had not yet seen the proof, and he was already talking of repudiating her in front of everybody. That is something I do not like about my character. How can he love her one minute, and then shame her the next?”
“I agree that he was hasty, but it was otherwise an appropriate response, particularly for the time period,” Mr. Darcy said. “Aside from the proof being false, his behaviour was exactly what it should have been. Once he was betrothed to her, his honour was tied up with hers. It had to be reclaimed with a public repudiation.”
“Along with the subsequent humiliation and disgrace?” Elizabeth asked, with a sinking feeling. His point had validity, but she was reminded of those earlier conversations in which she had thought his pride to be very much in evidence.
“Judging by the evidence which he had seen, the disgrace was justly deserved, and the humiliation was of her own making. He was of course misled into a false belief, but if one considers only what the circumstances appeared to be, then his actions were natural and reasonable. Even her own father was prepared to repudiate her.”
“Well, I still do not like it,” Mr. Bingley said. “I think he should have been loyal to her.”
“But from his perspective, she had forfeited his loyalty.”
“But do you not think that he should have examined the evidence further?” Elizabeth asked. “Especially considering that Don John was known to be untrustworthy.”
“I will grant you that he was very easily misled; however, that is another matter altogether. One might debate whether it is simply in Claudio’s nature to be easily duped, or if his judgment was too clouded by love for him to see clearly. But as far as his response to her perceived disloyalty is concerned, I believe the punishment to have been appropriate to the crime.”
“And I persist in believing that it was harsh and excessively cruel,” Mr. Bingley said. “But you know how I dislike an argument, so we shall have to agree to disagree. Unless you would like to continue disputing in favour of my point, Miss Elizabeth?”
“I do not believe that Mr. Darcy can be persuaded,” she said. “He is clearly firm in his opinion, which one must concede to have some validity. He makes a fair point about the reclamation of honour. Where you and I differ is in thinking that there is more honour in forgiveness. However, as he says, it is really a matter of judging with respect to the period. Evidently Shakespeare did not consider Claudio to have committed any grave offense, for he is ultimately rewarded with the restoration of the match he desired, and with only the easy punishment of having to lose a night’s sleep.”
“You call that an easy punishment, do you?” Mr. Bingley joked. “You have not seen Darcy when he has suffered a sleepless night. He is a veritable bear.”
Mr. Darcy smiled, but he did not laugh as he had done so often on the previous evening, much to Elizabeth’s delight. Indeed, she thought that there was a hint of offense in his expression, rather like she had seen the last time that Mr. Bingley had made a little fun of him. It was clear that he did not like being the object of amusement, and also that he was not as utterly transformed as she had been believing.
This discussion was at an end, and all their conversations for the rest of the day were as enjoyable as she had come to expect them to be. There was amusement and laughter, there was a great deal of agreement, and she still felt herself to be among a group of particularly good friends. That one disagreement had been small and certainly not a matter of great hostility, but it had again raised that uncertainty which she felt about Mr. Darcy’s pride.
But every man has his faults, she thought. One takes the good and the bad together and looks at the sum total. I do not think that his pride comes anywhere near to canceling out the good. Yet it still bothers me a little even as I feel that I can love him despite his faults.
CHAPTER 36
Your hearts are mighty…
THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR, ACT III, SCENE I
It was still raining on the next morning, and Miss Bingley was still unwell.
We shall do the first wedding scene today,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said after breakfast had been eaten and Mr. Hurst had vanished again. “You are feeling well, I hope, Miss Elizabeth? I fear that it will be a great blow to Darcy’s self-esteem if another lady collapses upon hearing his declarations of love.”
“I believe that I feel well enough to endure them,” she said in that lively way which Mr. Darcy loved so well.
“You may not have to,” he replied with the same light-heartedness. “I do not think that scene can be done. There are too many parts for the five of us to manage.”
But Colonel Fitzwilliam said, “I am sure we can find a way to make it work. Naturally, Miss Elizabeth will be Beatrice. She did an excellent job of filling in for us yesterday.”
“She did indeed,” Mr. Darcy agreed, “but she cannot fill in for all the missing actors, and the rest of us are already in the scene.”
“I would very much like to rehearse that part of the play,” Mr. Bingley said. “I feel that those are my most difficult speeches. I do not like insulting a lady, even though it is just a play.”
“I think that the colonel could easily say the friar’s lines as well as his own,” Jane suggested, looking up from a folio which she had been studying. “And since Beatrice only has one line in the first part of the scene, Lizzy could play Leonato for a bit. Then after Claudio exits, Mr. Bingley could take over that role.”
“And Don John?” Mr. Darcy asked.
“I can be he as well,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said. “I do not mind being a man of many parts.”
“I think you will end up being a man talking to himself,” Mr. Darcy said. “But I suppose we might give it a try.”
“I would be grateful if we could,” Jane said. “I feel that those are the most difficult speeches for me as well. I am uncertain about how to convey so much emotion without overdoing it.”
“Then we must rehearse the scene,” Mr. Darcy agreed. He was in no doubt as to his cousin’s reason for suggesting it, since this was the one in which Benedick declared his love for Beatrice, but there was no harm in that. He was not suddenly going to declare his own feelings in front of everybody. And he did agree with Jane that it was a particularly difficult scene. His own part would require much practice as well, and he very much preferred rehearsing with somebody who was not Miss Bingley.
The division of roles as suggested by Jane functioned reasonably well, even with both Colonel Fitzwilliam being three characters at the same time, and Elizabeth being two. Mr. Bingley did indeed find the scene a struggle. Instead of acting it all the way through, they repeated the first part several times as he tried out different ways of saying his lines.
Much Ado About Many Things Page 17