“You did an excellent job of prompting,” Mr. Collins said to Charlotte.
“Thank you.”
“You may have heard me mention my excellent parsonage.”
“I have. It sounds like a very comfortable dwelling.”
“And perhaps you are aware that my patroness is none other than Lady Catherine de Bourgh.”
“Yes, I am. You are fortunate to have received the attentions of such a distinguished lady.”
“She is indeed distinguished. You have an excellent understanding, which is why I have formed a great admiration for you. So great, in fact, that nothing would please me more than to establish you as mistress of Hunsford Parsonage. Would that be agreeable to you?”
“Yes, it would.”
And thus Mr. Collins learned that sometimes the less said, the better. And Charlotte learned that brevity is not always the soul of wit. It was, however, a thing very much to be desired, and she had every intention of strongly encouraging it in her future life.
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England…
Richard ii, act ii, scene i
“Only in England is such a feat as we have just performed possible,” Mr. Collins said. “It is a fine thing to live in such a cultured country. Drama is one of our crowning achievements. Every great playwright is English.”
Mr. Darcy could not help looking at him with disdain. “Have you not heard of Molière?” he asked. “Voltaire? Racine? Schiller? Goethe? Machiavelli? Plautus? Aeschylus? Euripides? Aristophanes? Even savages have drama. We English cannot lay exclusive claim to it.
When shall we three meet again?
Macbeth, act I, scene i
“We did well,” said Mr. Bingley, whom both Jane and Colonel Fitzwilliam had spared from knowing the truth.
“I am glad we did no harm,” Jane said.
“You never know,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said. “Without us they might not have come together so soon.”
“I was wondering if we might make a match for Miss Lucas,” Mr. Bingley said.
“That is kind of you, but she is already betrothed to Mr. Collins,” Jane said. “She was just telling me about it.”
“What! We could have done better for her. I do not like to criticize your relative, my dear, but we really could have found her a better husband.”
“I know.”
“Perhaps her sister instead,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said. “I am game to give this matchmaking business another go.”
That’s the worst tidings that I hear of yet.
Henry iv, part i, act iv, scene i
Everybody sends you their good wishes,” Mrs. Hurst said to her sister, who showed no pleasure at hearing this.
What use are good wishes. I wanted admiration and acclaim.
“The play was well received.”
I would be happier if it had not been.
“Miss Eliza was not nearly as good as you,” Mrs. Hurst said loyally, even though she had been unable to remain oblivious to Elizabeth’s abilities.
I knew she could not be, Miss Bingley thought triumphantly.
“There was one unfortunate thing, however.”
I hope she fell down and broke her leg.
“This is difficult to say.”
I do not know why. Unlike poor me, you have a voice.
“Mr. Darcy is engaged to Miss Eliza.”
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
“I am very sorry.”
I am robbed! That should have been my proposal.
“Do not fret, Caroline. Men are not worth the trouble. I shall ring for a nice bowl of soup, and you will feel better after a bit of supper.”
I shall fret if I want to fret. And I do not want soup. Oh, what I would give for my voice!
“Do not look at me like that. This is not my fault. You wanted to put on a play. If we had not, Miss Eliza would have gone home, and we would all have gone back to London.”
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Macbeth, act v, scene v
“You must throw a ball,” Lydia said to Mr. Bingley. “At the assembly, you said that you would.”
“I shall be delighted to,” he replied. “Indeed, I would have done so already if we had not been acting instead, but I shall start planning a ball first thing tomorrow.”
“I am quite exhausted,” Miss de Bourgh said to Mrs. Jenkinson. “All this activity has worn me out. I do not care to follow this doctor’s advice anymore.”
“Come and see about settlements whenever you like,” Mr. Bennet said to Mr. Darcy. I expect we shall deal very well. I shall ask nothing, you shall offer everything, and we can meet somewhere in the middle.”
“I think Jane and Lizzy have chosen very well,” Mrs. Gardiner said. “Two excellent gentlemen, and one of them from Derbyshire.”
“He has already invited us to visit,” Mr. Gardiner said. “And we are to act in some play while we are there. It seems that Mr. Darcy is very keen on theatricals.”
“This was great fun,” Colonel Forster said to Captain Carter. “I think we should see about making theatricals a regular thing in the regiment.”
“I hope you will come and shoot with us tomorrow,” Lord Matlock said to Mr. Bennet.
“You must come and take tea with me the next time you are in London,” Lady Matlock said to Mrs. Bennet.
For she had eyes and chose me.
Othello, act iii, scene iii
I am the luckiest man in the world, Mr. Darcy thought. The dearest, loveliest lady has chosen me. I was not worthy, but she taught me to take a good look at myself. I did not like what I saw, but now I am reformed. And I am blessed.
I would not wish any companion in the world but you.
THE TEMPEST, ACT III, SCENE I
I shall have the best husband in the world, Elizabeth thought. He is as honest as the day is long, his heart is made of gold, and his worth is immeasurable. I am so glad I learned to see him properly. He is the only man for me.
And kiss me, Kate. We shall be married o’ Sunday.
The taming of the shrew, act ii, scene i
“I wished I had kissed you,” Mr. Darcy said to Elizabeth. “Slip away with me now so that I can rectify that error. And can we please be married as soon as possible.”
…the best is yet to do…
As you like it, act I, scene ii
The play was afterwards much talked about, in part because it had been a well-acted entertainment, and in part because Lady Catherine’s personal performance had been the highlight of the evening. That story was known all over Meryton before another day had passed. Everybody agreed that Lady Catherine was excessively proud, but that Mr. Darcy was not half as proud as he had been thought. By standing up for his lady, he had earned respect.
That Christmas, Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley took roles in the Bennet family’s annual theatricals, which were moved to Netherfield to take advantage of the stage which had been left standing. It was a merry festive season, with two happy couples, a reasonably well-satisfied Miss Lucas, two very satisfied mamas, two proud papas, and several sisters very hopeful of finding such good fortune in their own futures. Georgiana had no such thoughts, but she was eagerly anticipating loving her new sister.
The weddings took place in another month, and Mr. Darcy took Elizabeth away to Pemberley, where they felt themselves to be the happiest couple in the world. They built their own stage, and acted many plays for their own amusement, and sometimes for an audience. Georgiana overcame her nervousness and learned to love theatricals as much as anybody. Mr. Bennet was often with them, the Gardiners visited every summer, and Jane and Mr. Bingley were such frequent guests that they gave up Netherfield in favour of a nearer estate.
Mr. Darcy sometimes rewrote lines, but he soon turned his pen to writing his own plays instead. These were acted privately at first, but at his wife’s encouragement he eventually offered his work to a theatre company. To her pride, it was eagerly accepted, and he became a well-known dramatist, whose romantic comedies were
revered by the critics and loved by the public.
EXEUNT
Much Ado About Many Things Page 25