“I want to commend you on your self-control, Shadowed Heart,” Raindrops in a Tide Pool said. “I would have understood if you had …” He pursed his lips in thought. “Reacted,” he said finally.
“Reacting is what he and those like him want,” the young man replied after a moment. “Crying, laughing, arguing—anything would bring punishment. And if you reacted to the punishment, you’d be punished some more.”
Raindrops in a Tide Pool forced his crest to remain in a friendly position when what he really wanted to do was scream. How can a species that produces someone like the Teacher produce that? he thought in horror. Outwardly, he kept his expression calm. “I see,” he said in noncommittal terms. “The Teacher has, again, expressed interest in training you,” he said.
“I know you consider him some kind of holy man, but …” Shadowed Heart looked down and shook his head.
“Holy?” Raindrops in a Tide Pool chittered a laugh. “Hardly that,” he said. Shadowed Heart looked up in surprise. “He is a wise man and a compassionate man, but certainly not holy.”
“But you all treat him as if he was a holy man,” Shadowed Heart said. “Everyone defers to him. Everyone covers their eyes whenever he says anything. Hell, the Alsoo call him the spirit speaker.” He pointed when Raindrops in a Tide Pool briefly covered his eyes. “See, all I have to do is mention him, and you all will do that.”
“He is deserving of our respect, but he’d be the first to scold us if we attempted to treat him as anything more than he is,” Raindrops in a Tide Pool replied seriously. “He is like all the great teachers in our history,” he said. “He has an awareness, a knowing, that is beyond what even the best of us can hope to attain, yet he …” Raindrops in a Tide Pool stopped. “Did you know he savagely killed two men?” he asked.
Shadowed Heart’s eyes widened as he shook his head.
“He had good reason for his actions, but it still was an act of savagery,” he said. “And did you know that his adopted granddaughter is herself a killer and was trained to be one by the Teacher?”
Again the young man shook his head.
“All members of the Forest Cabin Clan are killers: Teacher Jeremy, Captain Kasumi, Melanie Blunt, David Eisenstadt … even gentle Morning Mist will kill if necessary and will do so with no hesitation, no mercy.” He chittered softly. “Maybe it’s for the best that you do not train with him. He’d turn you into a killer as well.”
45
A NEW STUDENT
“He’s still there, Teacher,” Morning Stars Fade said. “Emily noticed him first,” he said proudly. “He’s been there since this morning. Watching.”
“And what have you learned?” Jeremy asked.
“He fights himself,” said Morning Stars Fade. “He seeks something, but sometimes when he looks at you …” His crest flattened.
“He is full of hate, fear, and anger,” Jeremy said. “His name is Shadowed Heart, and he is one of the rescued.” Jeremy frowned. “I have tried to get through to him before, but I look too much like those who took from him.”
“Maybe Sergeant Major Stilson,” Morning Stars Fade suggested. “No, you would have already considered that.” He frowned. “What would get through to him?” he asked in concern.
“A friend,” Jeremy said quietly. “It will be hard, and he will challenge you every step of the way. Even Emily will face his anger.” He sighed. “Especially Emily.” Jeremy briefly covered his eyes. “The path will be difficult, and success is not certain, but the rewards of success will move planets.”
“Is he my destiny, Teacher?” Morning Stars Fade asked.
“Not unless you become his friend,” Jeremy replied.
Shadowed Heart watched as the one they called the Teacher trained the snakelike Alsoo. Look at them. They’d throw themselves off a cliff if he told them to, he thought in contempt. “He’s just another full-of-himself white man.”
“The view is better from the cabin,” called a female voice. He turned and found that somehow a white girl with reddish hair and freckles and a Rynn male with a bluish crest had snuck up on him. “Hi, I’m Emily. This is Morning Stars Fade.”
“Go away,” growled Shadowed Heart.
“Since I live here when I’m visiting that’s not gonna happen,” Emily Fields said. “Look, you’re obviously interested in training. You’ve already taken most of the self-defense classes offered in the colony. It’s kind of a given you’d want to learn more.”
“I said go away,” Shadowed Heart nearly screamed.
“Not happening,” Emily replied tartly. “What is gonna happen is that my boyfriend is gonna kick your butt.”
“Boyfriend?” Shadowed Heart asked. “Him?” Emily nodded cheerfully. “You’ve gotta be kidding. I’d tear him a new asshole without breathing hard.”
“You can certainly try,” Morning Stars Fade replied. He closed the distance between himself and Shadowed Heart. “You win, and Emily and I do whatever you want for a week. I win, and you do what Emily and I want for a week.”
“What if I told you to kill yourself?” sneered Shadowed Heart.
“That would last longer than a week, so no,” Morning Stars Fade chittered in amusement.
“Okay, what if I wanted the white chick to blow me?” Shadowed Heart asked.
“You win, and I’ll suck your cock right here,” Emily replied. “Lose, and your ass belongs to Morning Stars Fade.” She grinned. “And despite their height, Rynn men are big enough that you’ll know it when he’s inside,” she giggled. “More than big enough.”
“Speaking from experience, cunt?” Shadowed Heart asked nastily.
Emily smiled coldly. “Yeah, and we can compare notes afterward,” she said. “So, we gotta deal?”
“Better get down on your knees, bitch,” Shadowed Heart said and took a ready stance in front of Morning Stars Fade. “Fighting makes me horny.”
“Me too,” agreed Morning Stars Fade. “Call it, Emily.”
Emily put her hand between the two fighters. “And … fight.” She quickly pulled her hand away and stepped back. As if there was a vacuum created, the two combatants filled the space immediately.
As Emily had mentioned, Shadowed Heart had taken nearly every self-defense class the colony offered. He had trained with Sergeant Major Stilson, he had trained with Summer Rain, he had even trained, once, with Lieutenant Hendriks. More often than not, Shadowed Heart would be found in a training hall or practicing alone. He was confident that he’d quickly defeat Morning Stars Fade and claim Emily as his prize. That confidence lasted exactly ten seconds, after which Shadowed Heart found himself flat on his back.
“What the fuck?” he said in shock and sprang to his feet. He barely dodged a roundhouse kick that was aimed at his head. He could not dodge the follow-up kick that buried itself in his gut. He shook himself and concentrated on defending himself. Now that he was paying attention, he was able to block the follow-up kicks.
“Uh-oh, looks like he figured you out,” Emily called. For some reason, she sounded cheerful.
“No one ever said he was stupid,” Morning Stars Fade called back. “Just angry.” He easily evaded the increasingly wild swings. “You know, if you’d actually hit someone, it would probably hurt.”
“Stand still and find out, you fucking chicken,” Shadowed Heart panted.
“Now, now … my ancestors only had some avian traits,” Morning Stars Fade replied. “Feathers, for example.” He surged forward and kicked Shadowed Heart in the shins before dancing out of reach. “Our bones aren’t all that hollow, though.”
“And he has a dick,” Emily said. “Nice one too.”
“Why thank you, Emily,” Morning Stars Fade replied. “And I’ve always … oops.” Morning Stars Fade had to evade as Shadowed Heart made a sudden attack. For a moment, it looked as if Shadowed Heart was going to get the upper hand, but Morning Stars Fad
e was eventually able to get out of arms’ distance. He eyed Shadowed Heart. The youth was beginning to stumble as well as breathe heavily from the exertion.
“I think he’s almost had enough,” Morning Stars Fade said.
“Oh good.” Emily walked over to Shadowed Heart, grabbed him by the shoulder, and spun him around. “Night, Shadow,” she said and punched him in the jaw. The young man blinked in surprise and then collapsed.
Shadowed Heart struggled up from the darkness of unconsciousness and found himself face up on a very comfortable mattress and covered by a blanket and two arms. His head swiveled back and forth. On his right was Morning Stars Fade, and on his left was Emily Fields. “Hey!”
“Not so loud,” groaned Emily. “It’s the middle of the night.”
“You hit me,” complained Shadowed Heart.
“Well … yeah,” Emily replied. “You picked a fight with my core brother,” she said. “Cores protect each other.”
“You hit me,” repeated Shadowed Heart. “And why the fuck am I in bed with you? Both of you.”
“You lost, remember?” Emily giggled. “Just be glad Morning Stars Fade is a gentleman.”
“Gentleman?” echoed Shadowed Heart.
“I think you must have hit him harder than you thought, Emily. He keeps repeating everything you say,” Morning Stars Fade said.
“Yeah, gentleman,” Emily said. “He could have claimed his prize while you were out.” She giggled again. “I told him to go ahead, but …”
“You just want to see two men having sex,” Morning Stars Fade accused cheerfully. Emily nodded rapidly. “We really should let him recover. You did hit him pretty hard,” Morning Stars Fade continued.
“Yeah, and my hand still hurts,” Emily complained. “You owe me for that, by the way.” She propped herself up on one elbow. “I’m going to make this simple for you. Despite that oversized chip you have sitting on your shoulder, both Morning Stars Fade and I think you’re a pretty decent guy.”
“All your instructors have nothing but praise for you,” Morning Stars Fade added. “As does the Teacher.”
“You’re smart, talented, not bad looking—when you’re not scowling, that is,” Emily said. “And you’re brave.”
“You’re also easily provoked, quick to anger, unfocused, and irritable,” Morning Stars Fade added. “And despite that, we’re still willing to consider you as a member of our core.”
“Which is why you’re here,” Emily continued. “You lost, and you owe us a week,” she said. “One week to convince you to stay.”
Shadowed Heart remained silent throughout the verbal double-teaming. “This is weird,” he finally muttered. “Where is here, exactly?”
“You’re in the guest room in the cabin,” Morning Stars Fade said. “The same room that Kasumi stayed in.” His crest fluttered. “It’s a great honor to be allowed to sleep here,” he said. “The Teacher has no time for fools or slackers, and he offered us this room for the week. Think on that.”
Shadowed Heart shook his head. “This is weird,” he repeated. “Couldn’t you have just …?” He trailed off. “No, I guess not,” he said. “What’s stopping me from just leaving?” he asked.
“Nothing except your own sense of honor,” Morning Stars Fade replied. “And don’t bother denying you have honor,” he said. “The First Teacher said hands do not lie, and the Teacher Jeremy says that if you truly want to know someone, fight them,” he chittered. “I gave you a lot of chances to take a cheap shot, and you refused to exploit them. You fought me fairly and honorably—viciously, but honorably.”
“And despite your crude talk, I got the distinct impression that if I had said no, you would have accepted it,” Emily added. “Was I wrong?”
Shadowed Heart sighed. “No,” he admitted.
“I’m still a little annoyed with you,” Emily said. “I’m going to make you ask for that blow job,” she giggled. “For someone like you, asking is probably going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done.” She lay back down. “Now, let’s get some sleep,” she said. “We have a long day ahead of us.”
“You guys are weird,” complained Shadowed Heart.
“We know. Now go to sleep,” Emily said. She and Morning Stars Fade lay back down and placed their arms across Shadowed Heart’s body. They fell asleep within minutes. Shadowed Heart remained awake for some time before he too fell asleep.
Shadowed Heart woke the next morning lying on his side and bracketed between two warm bodies. To his initial consternation and confusion, the person he was cuddled up behind turned out to be Morning Stars Fade. For a moment, he panicked.
“You snore,” grumbled a voice from behind.
“I do not snore,” protested Shadowed Heart.
“You snore,” confirmed Morning Stars Fade. “We’d better get up before the Teacher wakes us.” He wiggled. “Or we could ‘fool around,’ as Emily puts it.”
“I’m up,” Shadowed Heart said quickly. He blushed when Emily giggled and Morning Stars Fade chittered. He sat up … at which time he realized he was naked. “Where are my clothes?”
“Being washed,” Morning Stars Fade replied. He got out of bed, as did Emily. Shadowed Heart’s blush deepened when he saw that both Morning Stars Fade and Emily were as naked as he was. Morning Stars Fade went over to a dresser and pulled out a wrapped package. He tossed it to Shadowed Heart. “Wear that.”
Shadowed Heart unwrapped the package. Inside was a tunic and drawstring pants of a burnt orange color. “What is this?” he said in confusion. “I’ve seen something like this before.” Shadowed Heart trailed off as a childhood memory intruded. His father had taken him to a kung fu movie.
Shadowed Heart’s expression suddenly broke. The next thing he knew, Emily was holding him. Shadowed Heart wiped at his eyes angrily. “You gonna tell me everything’s gonna be all right?” he forced out.
“No,” Emily said simply. “‘Cause that wouldn’t be true.” She tightened her hug. “I have no idea what you went through, and the Teacher said I can never know.”
“He got that right,” mumbled Shadowed Heart.
“He gets most things right,” Morning Stars Fade said. He sat down on Shadowed Heart’s free side and put an arm around his waist. “Talk to us, Core Brother.”
Shadowed Heart was silent, but he also did not shrug off the arms that were holding him. “I was ten when they came for us,” he said in a near whisper. “My dad … my dad tried to stand up to them, and … and … they just shot him. Like he was a dog.” He closed his eyes. “I can still smell the blood, and sometimes I hear my mother screaming. The screaming went on for a long, long time.” Tears fell, and Emily and Morning Stars Fade just held Shadowed Heart while he cried. The tears finally stopped, and Shadowed Heart shook himself.
Morning Stars Fade stood. “Come, Core Brother,” he said firmly. “You need to hit something.” He chittered quietly. “Preferably not me,” he added. “But there are plenty of things in the dao chung that you can.” He and Emily pulled Shadowed Heart to his feet and got him dressed. Once all three were dressed, they left the cabin and headed toward the training hall. Shadowed Heart was silent during the short walk.
The training hall was dark when they entered. Emily turned on the lights while Morning Stars Fade grabbed a broom and started sweeping the floor. Shadowed Heart slumped down against one wall. He didn’t notice when someone sat down next to him.
“I had a wife,” said a voice. Shadowed Heart turned to see Jeremy Blunt sitting next to him. The old man was looking at the ceiling. “Her name was Mei Lin, and I thought she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen,” he said. “For some reason, she decided to marry me.” He smiled slightly. “We had a son. His name is Brandon,” he said. “Brandon was eight when it happened. Two men broke into the cabin.” He closed his eyes. “They raped her and cut her throat,” he said. “Brandon hid in
his room.” He turned to look at Shadowed Heart, and Shadowed Heart had to fight the shiver that the look engendered. “Mei Lin lived long enough to tell me who did it,” he said quietly. “I was able to avenge her death, but I lost Brandon.”
“What happened to your son?” Shadowed Heart asked in a whisper.
“Nothing happened,” Jeremy replied. “But I lost him anyway,” he said. “He blamed me for her death.” He closed his eyes again. “To this day, I cannot say he was wrong to do so.”
Shadowed Heart looked at the old man. “Why?” he asked in the same whisper.
“I am an arrogant old man who once was an arrogant young man,” Jeremy replied. “My arrogance led to her death.” He turned to look at Shadowed Heart again. “I refused to bow down to those who claimed they were my superiors, and she paid the price.”
Shadowed Heart swallowed in a suddenly dry throat. “My father refused to bow down,” he said. “And they killed him and raped and murdered my mom.” Jeremy just nodded. “The only thing that kept me going in the months that followed was the hope that somehow, some way I’d get my revenge.” He shook his head. “It was never going to happen.”
“No,” agreed Jeremy somberly. “I spent the following ten years in prison for manslaughter. I got my revenge but lost my son and my freedom.” With a grunt, he got to his feet. “I don’t know about you, but I need to hit something.”
Shadowed Heart nodded and got to his feet as well. Shadowed Heart licked his dry lips. “Sir?” he said hesitantly. “How do you get past something like that?”
Jeremy smiled sadly and shrugged. “I have no idea,” he said. “If you learn how, please let me know.” For the first time, he looked directly at Shadowed Heart. “I speak to her every night,” he said. “Sometimes she even answers.”
Shadowed Heart found it was difficult to meet the old man’s eyes, and he covered his for a moment.
“You do realize that I am probably insane,” the old man said.
Redemption Song Page 35