by steve higgs
‘Hello, dear. How may I help you?’ she asked, all professional courtesy and good manners.
‘I am looking for condoms, actually. Can you point me in the right direction please?’
‘Oh, whatever do you want those for, my dear?’ she said, disdain etched on her face. ‘In my day we just used to abstain. Much cheaper too.’
‘Erm.' I managed. I hadn't expected to have my sexuality questioned. It was the 21st century for goodness sake.
‘Hey, girl, what you up to?’ called Patience from behind me. She had just come into the shop.
My cheeks were still flushing red trying to work out what to say to the shop assistant. Patience flared her eyes at the assistant, grabbed my elbow and pulled me away from the counter. ‘Are you buying condoms?' she whispered, trying for once to accommodate my embarrassment. When I nodded, she wheeled me around and led me down the centre aisle of the shop. ‘Cock tubes are this way, Amanda.' She announced loudly so everyone in the shop could hear.
I shot her a look, but she just grinned at me.
‘Getting ready for the big date?’ she asked.
‘Trying to.’
‘Did you buy underwear yet?’
‘Yes.’ I lied.
‘No, you didn't, you big fibber. Which is fine if you plan to wear none at all, but don't you be telling me you bought something saucy because I have seen you get undressed before girl and you wear granny pants.'
‘No, I don’t.’ I shot back defensively.
‘Girl do you have on, right now, a pair of slinky, silky panties that a man would want to peel off with his teeth? Or are you wearing the sort of pants you could play sports in?’
I mumbled my answer as we arrived at the small section of shelving that contained birth control products.
‘What was that?’ she asked, miming that she couldn’t hear me, and I needed to speak up. ‘Was that: Sorry, Patience, you’re right. Please take me to buy underwear next?’
I snatched a packet of condoms from the shelf.
‘Not those ones. Don’t you know nothing, Amanda? You want these ones.’ Patience lifted a box and showed it to me. There was a couple on it, scantily clad and in an embrace. It said featherlight on the label. ‘The ones you got are for men with a hair trigger. You don’t want those unless you know more about him than you are letting on.’
A woman with two small children hurried them away with a look at me that suggested Patience and I were two prostitutes discussing oral sex in detail.
‘Let's just get them and get out of here.' I placed the box I had picked up back on the shelf, took the ones Patience had and went back to the front of the shop where the tills were located. I selected a self-service till, so I could avoid the opinionated older lady still serving customers but, of course, the product was an age-restricted item, so the till began flashing to draw the attention of a shop assistant to approve the purchase.
The woman had a queue of people to serve so pressed a buzzer to call another assistant over. It was the teenage boy.
‘Shopping for yourself?’ he asked conversationally as he swiped his pass card to approve the purchase.
Behind me, Patience sniggered as yet again my cheeks coloured.
‘Get on with it or lose a kidney.’ I hissed quietly. As his eyes widened at the threat, I swiped my card, threw the damned condoms into my handbag and stomped out of the shop.
‘That was fun.' Patience claimed as she joined me in the street. ‘So, underwear?' When I didn't respond she pressed me, ‘Girl you need to impress that boy of yours. He is fine, maybe too fine to hang out with your skanky, Maidstone living ass even if you’re a fine woman.'
She was giving voice to the fears I already had. Brett Barker was wonderful. He was rich, he was handsome, he was brilliantly clever. He could have any woman. How soon before he decided the pretty policewoman was nothing more than that?
‘Okay, let’s get underwear.’ I conceded.
There were shops to suit all budgets in Maidstone, however, Patience pointed out that this was not a time to scrimp on money. Now was the time to splurge it on something that would take his breath away. I could not fashion an argument.
Two minutes later we were walking through the House of Fraser department store to the lingerie section at the back of ladies' wear. In front of me were mannequins wearing wispy threads of lace and silk and hangers of outfits that were designed to be on the floor seconds after being revealed. The thought made a beeline to my doo-dah.
‘Oh, hold on.’ Patience said, stopping so suddenly that I bumped into her.
‘What?’ I asked. ‘Patience, what are you doing?’ she was trying to hide behind a mannequin while peeking around it at a woman ten feet away holding up a pair of red panties.
I squealed in surprise as Patience grabbed my jacket and yanked me behind the mannequin with her.
‘What are we doing?’ I whispered since it was clear we were hiding.
‘That’s Shaniqua Vincent. She totally stole my baby sister’s boyfriend a few years ago. She is a complete whore.’
‘Patience is that you?’ Shaniqua had spotted us.
‘Shit.’ Patience cursed. Then she stood up because the mannequin wasn’t achieving anything. ‘Hey girl, how are you? I haven’t seen you in ages.’ Patience’s face was filled with false enthusiasm.
‘Were you hiding back there? You're not still sore about your sister's boyfriend, are you? He was ditching her anyway.'
‘Mm-hmm.’ Patience replied, her tone guarded.
‘So, you in here to buy underwear? They probably have things in your size towards the back.’
‘My size?’ Patience was squinting at her now. ‘What are you saying about my size?’
Shaniqua cocked her hip. One hand on it, one hand still holding the hanger with the red panties. She was the same size and shape as Patience, even her boobs were the same gravity creating dimensions.
‘I’m saying you need to look in the big girl section, Patience. It’s not like you could fit into these?’ she said holding the panties aloft.
It was like a red rag to a bull.
‘Bitch you so fat you put on your belt with a boomerang.' Shaniqua’s eyes bugged out and she opened her mouth to retort, but Patience wasn't finished. ‘You're so fat it looks like you had a twin but you ate her. Your ass is so big that George Lucas used it as the trench on the Death Star. Your head's so fat even your eyebrows need to lose weight.'
Shaniqua had heard enough. ‘Bitch you wanna watch your mouth.' She dropped the panties, stepped out of her slut heels and pushed up her sleeves. Then she started taking out her earrings and I knew it was about to go down.
The exchange had drawn the attention of several shoppers who had hurried away and from shop assistants, one of whom had scurried off to find a supervisor. A man in a suit was heading our way.
As Shaniqua advanced, Patience reached into her handbag with one hand then nonchalantly dropped the bag to the floor. In her hand was her police baton; something we are not allowed to carry when not on duty. The man in the suit arrived, but as he opened his mouth to speak, Patience flicked the baton out to full length startling him. Now he was standing next to me with his mouth hanging open.
Thankfully, before I had to step in between them, three security guys from Fremlin Walk ran into the shop. As they ran at Patience, she held up her Police ID. I guess she had grabbed that from her bag as well.
‘Well done, guys.’ She said as they skidded to a halt. ‘I caught this one shoplifting.’
‘What?’ Shaniqua squealed.
‘No need to bother with an arrest or taking her to court. The skanky ‘ho clearly has no money. Just escort her back outside.' She turned to the man in the suit. ‘Good reaction time. Your staff are well trained.' She slapped him on the shoulder. ‘Well done. You run a tight ship.' The poor man's face was confused about what it was supposed to be doing.
As the security guards were trying to get her out of the shop, Shaniqua was loudly protesting her innoc
ence. Patience called for them to stop.
‘One last thing. Your face is not a colouring book. Chill with the makeup.’
Shaniqua dove at Patience, a torrent of bad words filling the air. The three security guards had to drag her away while Patience smiled sweetly and waved at her.
‘You really should be more careful about who you let in.’ she told the man in the suit. ‘Oops, time to go.’ she grabbed my arm and yanked me toward the lifts.
‘I didn’t get anything yet.’ I protested.
‘Then wear nothing. I promise it will be a surprise he will love. We have to go though, there are uniforms coming.’
I glanced at the doors. Outside Shaniqua was waving her arms animatedly at the three security guys and there were two Police officers with them now. Macey Eldritch and Mark Spence. Just as we vanished from sight where the lifts were in a recess, Macey's gaze followed Shaniqua’s pointing arm and she spotted me. Macey hated Patience, I didn't know why, but she did so Patience was right – we needed to go before they found out she drew her baton.
Halloween. Monday, October 31st 1732hrs
It was full dark out when I returned to my car. On the short drive home, I saw dozens of small children already out with their parents and dressed as pirates or ghosts or witches. It drew a smile from me as I remembered doing the same when I was little. Older kids could be a nuisance, there were always a few that thought it was okay to ruin everyone else's fun by genuinely playing tricks. Most of it was harmless but it was also a day when the Police could guarantee someone would utilise the busy streets as an opportunity to commit a crime.
I locked my car and went into my building and up the stairs to my place on the top floor. Big Ben was sitting on my doorstep, his enormous long legs stretching almost completely to the opposite wall and my neighbour's door.
‘Benjamin? What are you doing here?’
‘Waiting for you.’ He said getting up. ‘I got to thinking after you dropped me off, that with Tempest away you would have no one to call upon if you needed a hand with any casework. Then I called Jane and she said that you were looking into a voodoo case and might need a hand with it.’
‘Oh, did she?’
‘Yes, she did. She was genuinely concerned that there might be some tangible danger associated with the case.’
I would need to have a word with Jane about empowering women and how we were quite capable of managing without men to chaperone and protect us. Jane was a man underneath the makeup and silk underwear though, so perhaps she didn't really get it.
As Big Ben stepped out of my way, I opened the door with my key and let him follow me inside. In my handbag, my phone started ringing.
It was Kimberly. ‘Kimberly. Good evening.’ I answered the call.
‘He’s outside right now. I can see him! I called the Police, but they said it was just trick or treaters outside and I should stop worrying.’
‘Okay, Kimberly. You’re safe enough inside your apartment, right? He cannot get in, can he?’
‘He uses voodoo magic, Amanda. He can do anything. A locked door is not going to stop him. You need to get me out of here!’
I could hear the panic in her voice. Big Ben could hear it too, the phone was loud enough that her voice was carrying. I thought about it for no more than a second. I had met Bartholomew myself. He was dangerous, I believed that, and he had an entire entourage of followers that could provide him with a false alibi and combine their efforts to make Kimberly's life a misery. Plus, he had threatened to seek retribution against her for hiring me.
‘Kimberly I will be there in ten minutes. Pack a bag.’ I turned to Big Ben. ‘Time to make yourself useful. We have a damsel in distress to rescue. Let’s go.’
My instruction was moot as he was already out the door and heading toward the stairs. Big Ben liked to be involved, especially if there was a woman in trouble or a chance that he might get to thump someone.
‘Is this the voodoo case?' he asked as we got into my car again. This time he folded the front passenger seat forward and climbed into the back seat. There, he was able to lay across the two seats and wrap a seatbelt around his waist.
‘Yeah. The client believes she has been cursed by a chap she went on a date with and then rejected.’ I went on to tell him about meeting Kimberly last night, about her skin and hair ailments and about meeting both Bartholomew’s parents and then the man himself.
‘How come you didn’t just call the Police to his friend’s house after they chased you out of it?’ It was a sensible question to ask.
‘Because they didn’t do anything. They were inside their own property, no one assaulted me, even if they were scary as anything. The marijuana could have been present in a quantity that would have warranted an arrest, but equally it might not have been and because I am still a Police Officer for another week and I did not identify myself as such, and was not there as an official undercover officer, any arrest or subsequent prosecution would be thrown out within seconds.’
‘The law in this country can be quite messed up.’ He observed.
I nodded.
There was very little on the road and I was driving with a heavy right foot, so we arrived on the Magdalene Estate ten minutes after we left my place. It was just after six o’clock according to the clock in my car. There were still kids in costume out collecting candy everywhere I looked. There were adults in costume also, some of them probably the parents of the kids they were escorting, others might be on their way to parties, even though it was a Monday night.
My eyes were darting everywhere, checking for danger, checking for Terrance and Trevor, checking for voodoo priests. All I saw was excited children, holding their mother's hand or running excitedly to the next house. I pulled into the same spot I had parked in last night. I checked all around but there was no one lurking in the shadows that I could see.
Big Ben was getting out anyway, the passenger’s seat was already pushed forward so he could extricate his huge frame from my small car.
‘What number is she in?’ he asked.
‘Err, one. On the left, as we go in.' I unclipped my seatbelt.
‘Stay here.’ He said, putting a hand on my shoulder. He was looking out of the windows and scanning around as I had been. He seemed alert, more switched on than usual. ‘Keep the engine running and honk the horn hard if you see anything you don’t like.’
‘What are you going to do?’
He grinned at me. ‘I’m gonna get me a woman.’ Then he was gone.
I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel. Yet again I was being rescued by a man. Okay, maybe rescued was stretching things a bit but he had assumed that as a man he was the best person of the two of us to leave the comfort and warmth of the car and fetch my client.
She was my client, for goodness sake.
Then why was I still sitting in the car? Dammit. I opened my door, but before I could move, the front door of Kimberly's apartment building opened again as Big Ben came striding through the frame.
Carrying Kimberly.
FFS.
He looked like a Hollywood action hero. He ran down the stairs cradling her like a baby. In his arms, with her petite body, she looked like one. All he needed was a breeze to make his hair flutter and to learn to move in slow-mo. Kimberly had a bag in her arms and was staring at Big Ben with utter adoration. He had already swept her off her feet.
I shut my door again then leaned across and opened the passenger side. Big Ben upended Kimberly next to the car, patted her bottom cheekily and dived into the back of my car once more. Kimberly's face didn't seem to know what to do with itself. Several emotions were fighting for dominance. In the space of a half-second, I saw fear, excitement, curiosity and sexual horniness.
‘Get in, babe.' Big Ben instructed. She almost giggled, but she got in, the door shut, and I got us moving, despite not seeing Bartholomew at any point thus far, I was not going to drop my guard. He had threatened… something. He had not said anything that could be used agai
nst him. Was that deliberate? Was he clever enough to not expose himself?
I reversed hard out of the parking space, picking up speed then threw the steering wheel around and spun the car through one hundred and eighty degrees. The car snapped around to face the direction I wanted to go, and I was about to mash the pedal but there in front of us was Bartholomew. Flanking him, was a dozen or more of his cronies on either side. All of them were men. All of them were bare-chested and their skin was painted with odd symbols. Bartholomew had white bones painted onto his skin as if his skeleton was superimposed on the outside of his body and he had a large snake of some kind wrapped around his shoulders. Several others were also carrying snakes. They were not armed that I could see but once again, in the light from my headlamps I could see only white where their eyes should be.
Kimberly was hyperventilating in the seat next to me, huge gulps of air that suggested she was going to scream any second. I floored the accelerator and turned hard right. My little car shot across the carpark feeling sluggish with the extra weight in it that I was not used to. Bartholomew and his crew were blocking the exit from the building's carpark but there were other ways out.
Between two bushes, I hit the kerbed edge of the carpark and mounted the grass that surrounded the building. We barrelled across the grass, Big Ben swearing from the back seat as I found a large bump in the street and launched all three of us into the air momentarily. Kimberly was bracing herself against the dashboard with one hand while the other was against the ceiling. With nothing holding her bag down, it bounced off her lap and landed on Big Ben. There was another expletive but then I reached the pavement, where I shot across it, narrowly missing a couple out walking their dog and we were back on the road and away.
My word, Bartholomew was scary. No wonder Kimberly had called the firm when the Police failed to do anything.
‘Everyone okay?’ I asked.
Kimberly nodded mutely.
From the backseat, Big Ben swore again. ‘I think the middle seatbelt cup went up my arse when you went airborne. Otherwise, I am just peachy. Shall we go back to yours now?'