by Sam Crescent
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I think you need a hug.”
“I’m not a little kid.”
“You don’t have to be to need a hug. We all need a little comfort.” She didn’t let him go, and he there was no way he’d complain about having his face pressed against her tits.
Get your head out of the gutter.
“How about for the rest of the night, we promise not to talk about the past. About what happened, and we pretend it’s just the three of us.”
“Three of us, have you taken a test?” he asked, putting his hand across her stomach.
“No, I haven’t taken a test.” She sighed. “I don’t know the answer to that question.” She put her hand over his.
“Do you want to know the answer?”
“Not right now. I think I just want to sit with you while the rest of the world ticks on by.”
He kept his hand on her stomach. “Is it wrong that I hope you are?”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I hope you’re pregnant with my child.”
“Oh. You’d like me to have a child? Mine and yours?”
“Yes.”
She looked down at his hands and nodded. “Let’s go and see, shall we?”
“Ava?”
“If you want to know, there is only one way to find out. You do know it requires me to pee right?”
“I know.”
He got to his feet, but when she made to lead him toward where the tests were, he stopped her, cupping her face.
“I’m going to make sure no harm ever comes to you again.”
“I know, Logan.”
“No, I mean it. You will always, always, be protected.” He cupped her face, tilting her head back so she had no choice but to look at him.
“I love your eyes. That never stopped, not even once.”
“I don’t know how I feel about this guy who will talk about anything,” she said. “I’m not used to you being so open to everything.”
“There are a lot of things I’m going to be open to now, so you better prepare for them.” He pressed a kiss to her lips. He wanted more but wasn’t willing to push, not tonight.
“I can’t wait to see what you’ve got on offer.”
This time, when she took them to the kitchen, he didn’t stop her.
He wondered if her stomach was twisting and turning like his. If she was pregnant, he didn’t know what he’d do.
He’d never really thought about having a child, not before Ava. His life hadn’t given him a chance to enjoy the thought of a family.
With Ava, he wanted her to be pregnant.
With the night’s revelations, he wanted something to be able to hold her close to him, to not let her go, ever. Getting her pregnant would be another step to being able to keep her, to hold onto her, and never let go.
She picked up a test, and he grabbed a couple more.
“How much do you think I can pee? One test should be good,” she said.
“You’re nervous.”
“Aren’t you?”
“No, I know what it is I want, and this, this is it, with you.”
“Wow,” she said. “Let’s go and find out what is going to happen.”
They entered the bathroom, and he leaned up against the counter.
“You’re going to stay?”
“Yes.”
“I have to pee.”
“I killed a man in front of you. I think I can handle some urine. Don’t worry.”
“I’m thinking after this I want you to still be attracted to me.”
“I will be.”
“Can you at least turn around?” she asked.
He rolled his eyes but turned around.
When it was done, she put the test on the counter beside her, washing her hands. He noticed how they shook. Standing behind her, he gripped her shoulders, kissing her head. This, to him, felt right. This was what he wanted with her.
“Now we wait,” she said.
The time ticked on by, and he kept an eye on his wristwatch.
“Oh,” Ava said.
It wasn’t time, but the test was clear. There was no going back for either of them. She was pregnant with his baby.
He wrapped his arms around her, pressing his lips against her neck.
“Hello, Mommy,” he said.
****
The following morning, Ava cut into her pancake and tried not to think about what happened last night.
She was over Luke’s death. Seeing him die hadn’t affected her too much. She had a nightmare he’d come back from the dead, but Logan held her, and she was able to go back to sleep.
Pregnant.
She put a hand on her stomach, wondering if her unborn child knew what she’d witnessed.
Don’t be silly.
She was going to have a baby.
A little human being.
Picking up her knife, she cut into the pancake and again, focused on her breakfast. There was so much to do. First, she had to go to a doctor to find out what she actually needed to worry about. There would always be worry for a firstborn, or at least, that was what she was told.
Would Logan want to raise their child in the penthouse, or find a house? Did he even want to raise the family together? What about their future?
Their past had just been flung wide open, and now, she didn’t have a clue what to do. There was so much uncertainty waiting for her that it scared her.
Running fingers through her hair, she finished her pancakes and blew out a breath. She didn’t have to start making plans right away. She would take it in steps.
The first being, getting the confirmation of her pregnancy. The second … she didn’t know what to do about the second.
Tests could lie.
She didn’t feel sick, and women were supposed to.
“Oh, Mom, I wish you were alive today to help me out with all this. I don’t think I’m ready to be a mother.”
How could she take care of another human being when her own life was so messed up already?
She got to her feet as she heard the door open. Hunter hadn’t stayed with her this morning, and as she walked toward the corridor, she saw Logan and Hunter heading her way.
“We’ve got an appointment within the hour,” Logan said.
“For what?”
“At the doctor.”
“We didn’t even say who we were going to see,” she said.
“I’ve got someone I trust, and they’re already scheduled to see you.” Logan cupped her cheeks, tilting her head back and kissing her deeply.
She closed her eyes, aware of Hunter in the background, watching them.
“What’s going on?” she asked, opening her eyes when he pulled away.
“Nothing.”
“I don’t know. That kiss wasn’t nothing, it was something.”
Hunter chuckled.
“Come on, we’ll head on over now. They may see us sooner.”
She stared into his eyes, wondering what was going on. Something wasn’t right, but she didn’t know what it was. Instead of asking him, she grabbed her coat, which he’d bought her several days ago.
Hunter took the lead, walking out of the penthouse as Logan locked it behind her.
Thrusting her hands in her pockets, she moved between the men, waiting for either of them to speak, but no words were passed between them.
She counted the floors as they headed down, waiting for something more, but still getting nothing.
The doors opened up into the underground parking, and Logan took her arm, leading her toward the car. He held the door open, and she slid inside, moving across the seat to give him room as well.
Tucking hair behind her ear, she waited. They were once again on the road.
“The city’s always so busy,” she said. “No matter the day or night.”
“It’s easy for people to get lost in it. To lose all sense of time and space,” Logan said.
Awkward convers
ation.
She pressed her lips together, waiting for the time to pass, but it didn’t, not really.
Staring out of the window she tried not to think what was going on. Touching her lips, the kiss he’d given her, it meant something, but again, she wasn’t entire sure what was going on. Hunter wasn’t giving away any secrets either. He seemed to be content to look outside the window.
Within thirty minutes they arrived at the doctor’s office. There weren’t many clients, and Logan whispered to her it was a private clinic. Hunter checked them in, and they each took a seat. There was another couple sitting opposite them. Her stomach was swollen, and the man beside her was whispering words in her ear while rubbing her belly.
They looked so happy together.
Ava wondered what it would be like to experience something like that. The love between the couple.
She and Logan, there was history, chemistry but never love. She didn’t even know if he was capable of such an emotion.
They didn’t have to wait long before they were seen by the doctor. Before he prescribed her anything, he took some blood to confirm the pregnancy, and also checked her blood pressure, weight, and height. He did an overall check while they waited for the blood work to return.
It would seem Logan’s sway with people extended to everything. There was nothing he couldn’t have. Whatever he wanted, people jumped to go and get.
They were shown to a waiting room. She was offered a green tea while Logan took coffee. She stared down into her cup. Hunter had been present with them every step of the way so far. It was odd, but having him around provided her a great deal of comfort.
“How are you feeling?” Logan asked.
“Nervous.”
“Do you want the test to deny the one we took?”
“No. I don’t know. Do you?”
“I’m happy you’re pregnant.”
“Oh, that’s okay then.” She rubbed at her temple, feeling the beginning of a headache. “Logan, why do I feel something’s going on that you’re not telling me about?”
He smiled and looked down at her lap, his hand going to her knee. “It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“But there is something for me to worry about?”
“No.”
They were called again before she even got a chance to question him further. He was confusing her.
When they entered the doctor’s office, he confirmed she was indeed pregnant. She was prescribed some folic acid, advised to take it easy, and to also forgo cheese and nuts. He gave her a couple of pamphlets for her to read, and sent them on their way with an appointment in a month.
Now, as she sat in the car, she stared down at each pamphlet. Each one showed a pregnant woman, or a woman with a child, even breastfeeding.
“Should I breastfeed?” she asked.
“Do you want to?”
She opened up the pamphlet. “I have no idea. There is so much to take in.”
“Didn’t you ever consider having kids one day?” he asked.
She snorted. “When I was a kid, sure. I thought about getting married and having it all, but I don’t know. Look at all of this. I didn’t think I’d ever have kids as a grownup.”
“You won’t be doing it alone. You’re going to have me.”
She turned toward him. “Did you want kids?”
“I don’t think about kids.”
“You’re not even curious about them?”
“No.”
“I was an only child, and kids, they’re a byproduct of not being properly protected or a relationship. I’ve not had to worry about either. I don’t forget, and I don’t have relationships.”
“So what’s this?” she asked. “Is this a mistake? It’s not like you ever tried to protect either of us from this? I’m not saying it’s your fault. I didn’t stop you, did I?”
“This was a mistake. An error in judgment.”
His admission hurt so much more.
She closed up the pamphlets, pressed her lips together, and looked out of the window. They weren’t heading toward his penthouse. She’d been traveling back and forth a few times now to know the sights to see to let her know where they were.
“Where are we?”
Hunter brought the car to a stop outside of a building. It looked fancy. Old-fashioned woodwork and large windows. Dated, not decayed.
Logan climbed out of the car, holding out his hand for her to take. Still, no one spoke to her, and she followed them out of the car. If he planned to kill her, wouldn’t he have taken her to a warehouse or somewhere more private?
Stop thinking about death.
You’re a mistake, not a problem.
You did see him kill a man.
Why go through all of this when he could have killed me?
She wouldn’t go crazy or insane.
Hunter waited back in the car, and this was new for her. She didn’t know if she liked this or not.
She held off her questions as they entered the building. He walked her to the fourth floor where there were only two doors. Logan went to one, fitting a key within the lock and twisting.
He took her hand, leading her inside, closing the door, and flicking on the light.
“What do you think?” he asked.
It was a fully furnished apartment. There was no torture chair or plastic bag to capture her dead body.
Instead, it was warm. The heat surrounded her instantly.
Stepping into the apartment, she noted the large sofa, which dominated the sitting room. In the corner was a decent sized television. She wouldn’t have to squint to see. Rugs covered the wooden floors, but they were nice, along with a single coffee table. A vase of red roses sat in the center.
“Have a look around,” he said.
She stepped through to the kitchen and dining room. It was a nice space with modern appliances.
There were two bedrooms. One had a queen size bed, closet, and bathroom. The other was blank, carpeted, with no furniture.
“What do you think?” he asked, when she came out of the empty bedroom.
“It’s wonderful place. Have you bought it?”
He held up the key. “It’s yours.”
“Mine?” She stared at the key, refusing to take it.
“Yes, this is your apartment. Two-bedroom, luxury.” He shook the key, and she still didn’t reach out. “Fine, there’s more I want to show you.” He put the keys down and she finally noticed a stack of files and leaflets on the table. They were all neatly placed in a pile.
“I don’t know what college you’d like to go to, but I’ve made a selection.”
“College?” She frowned, stepping up toward him.
“Whatever it is you want, all you’ve got to do is pick.”
“I don’t know what is going on,” she said.
“You missed out on college, and you can do whatever you want. Any place you’d like to visit.”
“Logan, what is going on?” she asked. “I know I keep asking the same question, but I’m really confused. We go to the doctor’s and they confirm I’m pregnant. I thought this was good news. Now I’ve got an apartment, and you’re offering me college. I’m thirty years old.”
“So? Age doesn’t matter when it comes to education.”
“But what gives? This is all amazing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really grateful, but I thought I lived with you.”
Logan sighed. “You can’t go back to Crow Valley. Not after everything that went down. I won’t allow you to, nor will I allow my son or daughter. You deserve more than what they had to offer.”
“And you think this place is it? What’s wrong with where you live? Are you moving in with me?”
He didn’t look at her.
“You’re not moving in with me.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Why?”
“Ava—”
“Look at me, Logan. Say what you’ve got to say, but you’ve got to look at me when you do it.” She didn’t like how her h
eart was breaking or the sick feeling twisting her gut.
He lifted his head. “Ava, this, between us, it’s not going to work.”
“You said you’d be here for the baby,” she said.
“I will. You and I, the best way to make this work is if we only see each other when the baby is involved.”
“Is this because you know the truth? Are you ashamed of me?”
“No.” He stood up and made to move toward her, but she stepped back, needing the space. Right now, she couldn’t handle him touching her.
She held on by a very thin thread, but if he pushed too hard, it would snap and she didn’t know how much more she could hold it together.
“Then what is it?”
“I was going to destroy you. I set out to do exactly that. The video of you and Grant, it never should have made it out in the world, but I made sure it was. I fucked up.”
“So, it doesn’t have to mean anything? It doesn’t mean anything. I can forgive you, and you’re fine now. We’re fine.” She didn’t like how desperate she sounded.
“Ava, I kill people without caring. It meant nothing to me to end Luke’s life. In fact, I was pissed off because he got a swift end when he should have suffered.”
“None of us get everything out of life we ever wanted. Our lives always change. Some for the better, some for the worse. We can’t change what is happening. I can’t—you’re dumping me?”
“We were never in a relationship in the first place.”
“You’re feeling guilty for blaming me all these years. But you’re not willing to fight for us, for what we’ve got?” she asked.
“What do we have, Ava? You didn’t get to go to college because of me. I didn’t get anything out of life I wanted. You think being who I am is what I wanted to become. No, it’s not, but I’m that man. I’ve seen the way you react, and I’m telling you now, you and I, we’re not suited to each other. We’ll have a child and you’ll want for nothing, but that is as far as we go. This is it for us. You and I, we’re done.”
“Wow,” she said. “This house is mine.”
“Yes. You’ve also got an allowance.” He put the cards down on the table. “I’ve got to go. I’ve got some meetings.” Ava watched him walk toward the apartment door. “I’ve left a cell phone with my number on the kitchen counter. If you need anything, call. Whatever you want, you can have it.”