“Hey, I’m glad you made it.” She beams, slipping out the door. “Noah was about to have a pity party.”
I look to Noah, and he winks down at me.
I don’t know why, but my whole body heats, so I quickly slip out the front, welcoming the cool air.
As we reach Noah’s truck, Paige pulls the door open, but she steps back, nodding her head for me to go in first, so I do. We head toward the opposite side of campus, and surprisingly, it’s not awkward.
Paige picks up with the conversation Noah said they were having, asking my opinion, and I do my best to offer a solution that might help. It’s kind of cool, being included in a discussion they could have cut short or picked up at another time.
Once at her building, she climbs out, turning back to us with a wave, and we watch as she disappears inside it. Noah waits for the door to close behind her completely, and then we’re pulling out of the parking lot.
He pulls into a gas station, and we both choose Icees, despite the chilly air. We climb back into the truck, but when I take the seat by the door, Noah looks over, jerking his chin the slightest bit, his lips curved at the corners. So, with my stomach threatening to tangle into a thousand knots, I slide over until we’re thigh to thigh.
“Can I take you somewhere?” he asks.
I nod, pulling my straw between my lips, and his eyes follow the movement.
It’s with a deep breath that he faces forward and off we go.
We drive with the radio off for a little over thirty minutes, before Noah pulls off the main road, parking on the shoulder.
I unbuckle my seatbelt and lean forward to try and see beyond the darkness.
“This looks like a good place to bury a body.”
“I don’t know about burying, but definitely to lose one at sea.”
My head jerks toward his and he laughs, pushing open his door.
He grabs the hoodie he carried out of the house and waits for me to slide out his way.
Taking the half gone Icee from my hand, he sets it on the hood, tugging the sweatshirt over my head.
I laugh, slipping my arms through, the cuffs hanging well over my hands. It’s soft, fresh cotton on the inside and smells like Noah.
“Thank you.”
He smirks, handing me my drink. “Welcome.”
“You planned this, didn’t you?”
“I figured you’d be up for a little road trip.”
I pull my lips to one side.
“Come on.” He nods.
We walk side by side up a small hillside that leads to a wide trail, and beyond it, nothing but ocean.
My smile is instant.
“Holy shit,” I whisper, stepping ahead of him toward the extended peak of cliffside in the center.
The moon bounces off the sea the way I love, but it’s even better as we’re up higher than I’ve ever been before, so it shines like ice below us. I laugh, glancing back at Noah as he slowly steps up beside me.
“You like it?”
Nodding, I face forward again. “It’s amazing.”
“Come here.” Noah takes my hand, leading me left a few feet, where there’s a slight dip in the rock, allowing us to sit and dangle our feet, another flat stone a few feet below to catch our fall, should we scoot too far over the edge.
I can’t help but laugh again, nudging him in the shoulder. “This is crazy.”
“It’s called Sunset Cliffs.”
“Man, we have to come back to watch the sun go down. I love the moon over the water, but the sunset is definitely a sight I have to see from right here.”
I look to him.
“You want to come back, I’ll bring you back,” he tells me.
“Say you swear.”
Laughing, he faces forward. “I swear.”
“When I was little, my parents would drive us to the coastline every Sunday for a picnic dinner. My dad would set up a little tent, you know the kind that’s all netting?” I smile. “My mom would put up a table and lay out the food, while me and Mase set up chairs and piled them high with blankets. We’d eat, play board games and then when the sun would start to set, our parents would tell us stories about when they were young, or when we were babies. It was always something new, something we hadn’t heard yet.” I loved those nights.
“Your family means a lot to you.”
“My family means everything to me. I want to be everything my mom is. Strong and independent in my own way, a solid example, but human in my mistakes. I want to be proud and encouraging, accepting but firm, even when it hurts. Even when it’s hard. I want to make chicken and dumplings when my daughter feels like her world’s falling apart like teens think and I want to bake cupcakes with stupid sweet frosting when my son’s too hard on himself for a bad grade or dropped pass.” I laugh, lowering my head. “Clearly I have some work to do to get there, but… ”
I look to Noah.
He runs his hand over his forearm, a look of reverence adorned along his face. “You want to be a mom.”
My lips spread wide. “Of course I do.”
He shakes his head, and a slight frown builds along my brow.
“No,” he begins. “That’s it. That’s why you didn’t care where you went to school. That’s why you had no opinion when it came to choosing and that’s what you didn’t tell me when I guessed there was more to it.”
My throat grows thick, but I nod.
“You said it was embarrassing,” he reminds me. “It’s not.”
“Telling you is.”
He almost looks offended, and an anxious laugh escapes me.
“Noah, you’ve worked your entire life toward a goal, and you’re on your way to achieving it. You’re about to have the world at your fingertips, and it’s a tribute to what you’ve dedicated your life to. Here I am, dreaming of being a housewife, and I haven’t even figured out how not to burn a loaf of French bread yet.”
I go to laugh it off, but Noah frowns, shaking his head.
“Don’t sell yourself short. What you want is to give yourself over to the happiness of others. That’s selfless.”
“Some would call it selfish to want to stay home and raise a family while my partner busts his ass outside of it.”
“A good man would disagree.”
I blink up at him and his chest inflates.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.” A sigh pushes past my nostrils, and I shake my head. “My dad would like you,” I tell him. “Someone who loves his mom, plays football like a boss, and cooks like a badass.”
Noah glances away, far too humble to face me while I boast about him, but his smile is evident in the creases framing his features.
After a moment of silence, he says, “I went on a picnic once.”
My jaw drops. “Once?!”
He laughs, looking down. “Yep. Once. My mom worked a lot, but on my birthday one year, she picked me up early from school, had lunch packed up in a mini-laundry basket and off we went.”
“Where did she take you?”
He meets my eyes. “She took me here.”
And my heart melts. “Here?”
He nods. “She gave me my present, a football.” He laughs, remembering, and I trace every line of his face. “It was the same every year. She’d ask what I wanted, and I’d say a football. She’d tell me to pick something else, but I’d hold strong.”
“You can never have too many.”
“That’s exactly what I’d say.” He peeks at me. “Mason?”
“Yep. My grams didn’t have a lot of money, so he always asked for a ball. He knew she’d get him something regardless, so he wanted to be sure it wouldn’t cost her much.”
“Exactly.” He stares, and it hits me.
That’s why he did it. He knew his mom couldn’t do much more, but would die trying, so he made it easy on her.
There’s no doubt in my mind she knew. It must have been so hard to have only one parent. One person period.
If she worked a lot, was he alone often?
Does he feel alone now?
I clear my throat. “What did she pack for lunch?”
“Ice cream.”
A laugh bubbles out of me and Noah’s follows.
Together, we turn to the ocean listening to the sound of crashing waves until the chill gets too strong, and then we head back to campus.
Once we’re pulling up in front of my dorm, I’m not ready to climb out, so I turn to him and pull my knees up to my chest. “Tell me something.”
“What do you want to know?” he rasps, a hidden grin on his lips.
I drop my head against the seat and whisper, “Everything.”
Chapter 22
Arianna
* * *
It’s a little after eleven when Mason, Brady, and Chase are walking through the door.
Brady swings me around in a hug and Mason plants a grumpy kiss to my hair as he slips by, falling to his ass on the couch, his eyes instantly closing.
“Someone had a long night.” I laugh, turning to Chase, who hesitates near the door, last night’s encounter likely playing in his head, so I ease his mind, offering a smile. “Hey.”
It works, his shoulders pepping up a bit, and he grins, his eyes falling to my outfit. “Hey, you look good.”
“Thanks.” I smooth my top down on instinct, glancing at my matching burgundy booties. “Cameron said you guys ordered pizza?”
“Yeah, none of us thought we could stand long enough to grill burgers like we planned to.”
I laugh, and he follows me into the kitchen, posting himself on the opposite side of the countertop. “The loss hit that bad, huh?”
“Fuckin’ sucked. We beat ourselves.”
I blow out a long breath. “True, but hey, maybe you’ll get your shot at starting this week now. There were three errors from the starting receivers this game alone.”
“Hate to admit it, but…”
“But that’s the first thing you thought?”
He nods.
“Hey, that’s the name of the game.” I shrug. “Our dads have told you guys time and time again, one man’s mistake—”
“Is another man’s gain.” He frowns suddenly, his eyes lifting to mine.
They hold there, only dropping when the door is thrown open, and Cameron comes inside, some guy I’ve seen in the halls behind her, pizza boxes in hand. “The food has arrived.” They set the items down and she pats the boy’s shoulder, shoving him back into the hall. “Thanks, G-dawg. I owe you one.”
“I’ll cash in on that!”
“K, bye!” she shouts, turning to us with a grin. “Let’s eat so we can tell our parents were good kids and be on our separate ways. I’ve got shit to do today.”
I get right to passing around plates, thankful for the quick and easy option, since Noah asked me to go with him somewhere today.
We carry the boxes into the living room, and this time, the TV stays off.
We sit back, listen to the boys’ play-by-plays, as if we didn’t watch the game on TV, but we don’t care. Growing up, this was one of our favorite times of the week, when our families would get together at the end of the week and talk shop.
We chat about school and midterms, and the guys let us in on their idea to go camping over the upcoming school holiday, instead of going to our beach house as we had thought we would. They scored a Thursday game, so once they get back into town, they’re free until Monday. The second we agree to go, the plan is official.
I’m leaning against the coffee table beside Cameron when my phone rings on the ground beside me. Noah’s name, or more Romeo, flashes along the screen.
“Someone got a new phone.” Cameron, being the asshole she is, grabs it, answering on speaker. “Oh, Romeo, Romeo, where for—”
“Shut up!” I laugh, snagging it from her, only to have Brady snag it from me.
“Hello?” He does his best to mimic a woman’s voice, failing miserably, making us laugh.
“I’m going to take a wild guess and say this is… Lancaster?” Noah’s grin is evident.
I smile, and Brady nods.
“I’m impressed, fuckhead. Now, why you callin’ our girl?”
“Okay!” I jump up, yanking it from Brady’s big ass hands, and hop over my brother’s extended legs. I bring it to my ear. “Hey.”
“Their girl, huh?” he teases, and my face heats as I realize I forgot about the speaker part.
I quickly whip around, so I’m not facing them, turning speaker off. “Yeah, Mason has tried to retrain the boy for years. It’s useless,” I joke.
“Noted.” Noah chuckles in my ear, and then he’s quiet for a moment. “You still mine today?”
Heat washes over me, and I nod, even though he can’t see me. “I am.”
“Good, because I’m already on my way.”
“Perfect.” I head toward my room for my purse. “Cameron is about to leave, so I’ll walk out with her. Meet you by the doors?”
“Wait inside until you see my truck.”
I bite back a grin. “Yes, Noah. Mason happened to train me well.”
His airy laugh fills my ear. “Five minutes, Juliet.”
“K.”
I turn to tell Cameron, let’s roll, but the words die on my lips when I find all eyes on me. “What?”
After a second of silence, it’s Mason who jumps to his feet, and with more energy than I’ve seen from him all day.
“Nothing, baby sister.” He pauses, staring at me a minute before kissing my temple again and heading for the door. “Love you.”
“Love you. You don’t have to leave.”
“I’m not, I’m locking it behind you guys so none of your flirty hallmates try to slip in when you’re gone.”
I laugh, stuffing my phone inside my bag. “Good idea.”
Cameron steps up, pulling a sweater over her head. “Ready?”
“Yep.”
We look to the others.
“Bye, guys.”
“Later,” Brady shouts.
Chase says nothing, facing the TV once more, and we walk out the door.
Noah is pulling up the second I get to the exit, so I slip out with Cameron.
He leans over, pushing the passenger side open for me, and I slide inside, waving at Cameron over my shoulder when Trey pulls up right behind him.
I turn to him. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He smiles, turns the radio up, and then we’re on the road.
He pulls onto the highway, headed the opposite direction of where we went last night, but I don’t ask where we’re going, and it’s not until we’re in the parking lot of Tri-City Medical that the sudden need to know sweeps in.
Noah stares straight ahead as he pulls the keys from the ignition, his hand dropping into his lap as if the weight of the lanyard in his palm is too much.
With a deep breath, he begins to climb from the cab, so I do the same, meeting him near the hood.
It takes several seconds, but then he points to a small building near the back, not quite a part of the hospital, but on the same grounds. “That’s a rehabilitation center.”
I glance to the building with confusion, but his next words clear it right up.
“My mom lives there.” He nods to himself. “For about two years now.”
My chest caves, the urge to reach out and hold him strong.
“She had a stroke my senior year of high school, lost movement in her left arm.” His laugh is sad. “She said she didn’t need it anymore, since she had a stud for a son.” He grins, but it falls flat.
“Her throwing arm,” I guess. “She played catch with you.”
“Every day since I could hold a ball.” He looks away. “She didn’t let it stop her from a damn thing, still cooked dinner, went on like nothing, where she could anyway. She was an accountant for a small firm, so it slowed her down, she lost some work from it, but she was ok, so it didn’t matter.”
I reach up, gripping the collar of my sweater, the sadness in his tone painful.
“That’s why you chose Avix,” I realize. He didn’t want to leave her to begin with, but after that, he couldn’t. He wanted to be there for her.
Noah nods. “She was good for a long time after that, and then the final game of my freshman season at Avix came. We won. I didn’t miss a single target that night. Man, I had never been on fire like I was that game.” His lips twitch as he remembers it, and I make a mental note to find the highlights later. “All I could think was I couldn’t wait to call my mom after, and I did. I was still on the field, still in gear with reporters flanking me from every angle, but I had to talk to her first. It rang a bunch of times, and when the call was finally picked up, it wasn’t her voice. I knew without being told it happened again. I just didn’t expect it to be worse than before.”
The ache in his voice is too much, so I shift closer, and his eyes come up to mine.
“Let’s go inside.” I nod, needing him to understand he doesn’t need to explain or prepare me. I’m going in regardless. I want to. I need to.
I think he needs me to…
“I’d like to meet her.”
He stares at me a long moment, and then he nods back. “Yeah, let’s go, ‘cause she’s dying to meet you.”
“She knows I’m coming?”
“Yeah, Juliet, she knows,” he whispers, turning his body so it’s facing me fully and only a foot away.
My throat runs dry, and when he reaches for my hand, I give it to him.
Together, we head inside the rehab center to meet the woman responsible for the man at my side.
A laugh slips out of me, and I fold my feet in the seat. “To be fair, my mom and dad tried to show me, but it never ended well.”
Ms. Riley, who has insisted several times I call her Lori, smiles. “But you’re learning okay now, from what I hear.”
You hear things?
“Maybe you weren’t quite ready for something new before,” she says gently, and I nod. “And maybe now, you are…” She speaks with the wisdom of a mother, warm and kind.
My pulse kicks against my chest, and her features soften before me.
“Yeah, maybe. I’ve got a pretty good teacher.” I look to her son, who winks, as if he was waiting for me to glance his way. With a smile, I look back to Lori. “My mom would literally pull every recipe out of the book and lock me in a chair until I made magic if she heard me whine how her instructions were lackluster, and then my dad would feel bad and force Mason to help too. And that would inspire my mom to invite all our friends.” I sigh. “It was downhill from there.”
Say You Swear Page 21