“Hey.” I smile, but a frown quickly replaces it. “Don’t you have training right now?”
He shakes his head, falling in line beside me. “Nope. I have a check-in after this, to go over grades and shit, but nothing else until film.” He bumps his shoulder with mine. “Trust me, I tried to get out of this thing.”
“I bet.” I chuckle, then we’re quiet as we fall into the long line of students.
We take seats beside each other in the middle of the room, and for the next forty-five minutes, we listen to people talk about how the choices we make now will help shape our futures.
It’s kind of boring, borderline common sense, but they do introduce a ton of career options that aren’t necessarily spelled out in the course listings.
On our way out, I turn to Chase. “I’m meeting Cameron for a few minutes at the café, did you want to come?”
He nods, but then shakes his head, and stops in his tracks. “Can we talk?”
“Yeah, what’s up?” I turn to face him.
“No, I mean can we talk, talk.” He stares pointedly. “About everything. About…”
He can’t even say the word ‘us,’ and I’m sure as hell not going to be the one to say it.
“I want to explain. Apologize,” he pushes on.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to.” I shake my head. “I don’t need to hear it anymore. I get it, I do.”
It’s the truth. The fact of the matter is I forgave Chase, for all of it. I don’t really know when it happened, but it did, and it’s not that he felt he needed forgiveness, I don’t know if he did or didn’t. It’s also not because he did something that should require my forgiveness, because that’s not necessarily the truth either.
We were consenting adults, both aware of what we were doing, both free of expectations and repercussions.
I knew in the back of my mind, he could never truly be mine. I’d known it all along, I just allowed myself not to care that night. He offered me something I had wanted for so long, and so with greedy hands, I accepted, consequences be damned.
That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when the high wore off and reality swept in with the morning tide, washing away the memory we made in the sand only hours before.
I was hurt, but that wasn’t on him; it was on me.
So I forgave him for me because I needed to. Because he’s my friend and having him in my life is important, for me and for my brother.
Rehashing everything now would be like opening a healed wound, and for what? I’ve moved on; he’s doing just fine, and our group is no longer suffering from our decisions.
“Let me try to make you understand where my head was at, and why I was an ass.” He reaches for my hand, but I only squeeze his, then pull it free.
“I already know why, Chase. I’ve known for years. I’m being honest when I say it’s okay. We are okay. Let’s just… let it go. Forget about it.”
I nod, holding his eyes with mine, and slowly, he nods back.
“I have to go, Cameron’s waiting on me.”
“Yeah, uh…” He clears his throat. “Tell her to call me. I have the notes she wanted for Psych.”
Agreeing, I rush off, finding Cameron already nestled into the counter booth, drinks and bagels waiting.
It’s late that night when my phone dings with a text, but it’s not from Noah as I suspected.
It’s from Chase.
* * *
Chase: what if I don’t want to forget it?
* * *
The air swooshes from my lungs, and my eyes slice to the ceiling.
Memories crash over me, creating a strain deep in my chest. I press against it to ease the ache and sweat beads along my neck.
This is ridiculous.
I don’t know why he’s saying this to me. I said my peace. I forgave him for me. He knows this. There’s no longer anger and sadness between us.
We’re fine.
I’m fine, better than, in fact. I’m fucking happy.
It’s not my business what runs through his mind when he’s alone. If he doesn’t want to forget, he doesn’t have to. It’s not like either of us really can.
Memories don’t die when the possibilities do. They morph into pain.
Pain you have to decide to feed or fight.
I chose fight.
And I won.
I have no idea what to say to him, so I say nothing at all.
Chapter 32
Arianna
* * *
Thanksgiving at my house has always been a big event. My aunt and uncle would come down from Alrick with our cousins, and Brady, Chase, and Cameron’s families would be there too, plus or minus a few additions they’d bring, depending on the year.
My dad would set up the garage, which served as nothing more than his man cave for him and the boys on a normal day. The wives took care of the indoor food while the men had contests on who could cook the best turkey. We weren’t allowed to know who made which one once it was plated but voted on our favorites at the end—Uncle Ian, Nate’s dad, won every year.
Pretty sure he’d wink at his wife to swing her vote when she served her plate.
It might be my favorite holiday, tradition-wise, so there’s a little sadness this year knowing our parents won’t be here… but we would never tell them that.
Their once-in-a-lifetime adventure ends just after the first of the year, when Brady’s dad has to report back to base, so there is always next time.
This year, though, we’re trying to ignore the difference by hosting our own at the beach house, and when we leave, we’re bringing my brother back with us.
“You didn’t get to come inside the place last time, huh?”
“Nope.” Noah reaches over the side of his truck for our bags. “You left me out on the sand.”
Spinning to face him, I lift a brow. “You shouldn’t have hit me in the head with that football.”
Noah drops our stuff, rushes over and wraps me up. He spins me around, planting a hard, quick kiss to my lips. “Best thing I ever did was miss that pass.”
“Mmm.” I peck at his lips. “And here I was thinking the best thing you ever did was toss me on the bed and—”
“Don’t finish that sentence.”
I whip around, my smile stretching at the sight of my brother. I kick my legs and Noah sets me on my feet. I rush Mason, throwing my arms around him, and he groans, his jaw clamping shut.
My hands fly away, my eyes wide. “Shit. Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Come here.” His arms pull me in, a long exhale slipping from him. “I’m okay, baby sister. Promise.”
“Yeah?” I blink back my emotions.
“I was fucked off for a couple weeks,” he admits. “But I’m good now.”
“Thank god for that.”
I turn to find Payton leaning against the doorframe, her belly swollen and looking ready to pop.
“Oh my god,” I coo, rushing over. “Look at you.” I hug her, and when I look to her stomach, she giggles.
“Go ahead, feel me up.”
Grinning, I place my palms on her belly, feeling the firmness of the left side and gliding my palm right, where it smooths out again. I then move it back right. “Is this him?”
Payton nods. “He likes to squash my lungs.”
“Pretty cool, huh?” Mason steps up.
I cut him a curious glance. “Yeah, it is.”
“When are you due? I feel like you’ve been pregnant forever.”
“Next week. Your cousin and I just finished getting the nursery together. You’ll have to come see it.”
“Kenra?”
“No,” she sighs playfully. “Nate.”
A laugh flies from me, and she grins.
“Trust me, I was just as surprised while it was happening.”
“I bet.” I nod, turning to Noah as he steps up, taking Mason’s outstretched hand.
“Riley.” He raises a brow. “Looks like my sister’s still in one piece. This shit serious
now, or what?” He frowns.
“It’s whatever she wants it to be.”
Mason’s lips curl up. “Good fucking answer, my man.” He chuckles, turning to Payton. “Payton, Noah, Noah, Payton.”
“Hi Payton.”
Her cheeks grow a little pink, and I hide my laugh.
“Hey.” She eyes him.
“Okay, intros are over. Inside. It’s getting cold as fuck out here.” He turns, slipping in front of me and we follow behind.
“Ari, did you know your brother is the bossiest person on the planet?” she calls out.
“Yeah, you get used to it.” I grin.
Mason groans, flipping me off over his head and I can’t help but smile. He’s feeling better.
Cameron runs around the corner, jump tackling me onto the couch, and Mason takes Noah into the kitchen, re-introducing him to the gang, in case his small stopover during the summer is out of their minds.
“Sara and Ian didn’t make it,” Cam tells me of my aunt and uncle. “Nate said his mom hurt her back when they took the quads out a couple days ago, so he lied and said they’d be out of town for Thanksgiving so that she wouldn’t feel bad and still travel while in pain.”
“Sounds like Nate. Why didn’t he tell me?”
“In case you blabbed about coming this way, I’d bet.”
My head jerks her way, and we laugh, because yeah. I might have done that on accident.
Payton pushes to her feet, only moments after sitting, and puts one hand on her lower back, the other lowering onto the table. Mason beelines her way, passing a water and pulling over the chair with cushions stacked inside it.
“I’m fine,” she tells him, but Mason being Mason, doesn’t move.
Payton lowers into the seat.
“He looks good.” Cam nods.
“Yeah. I think so too.”
“Think it has anything to do with the pregnant mama he’s hovering over?”
“Cameron. Stop.”
“I’m just saying,” she whispers. “He hasn’t left her side.”
“She’s about to pop. Her brother and Kenra probably asked for help.”
“True. I didn’t think about that.”
Piling into the kitchen, I hug everyone hello as Cameron goes over the tasks for tomorrow.
Everyone is assigned a job, and I flip the others off when I’m stuck with peeling potatoes.
“One day, I’m going to knock all your socks off with a Riley family recipe.”
Several eyes widen, teasing glints flicking along the others, and I stutter.
“I meant… I was only saying I can cook something he—” Grins pull along their faces, so I laugh. “Oh, fuck you guys.”
Noah squeezes my thigh under the table, but I don’t look at him.
I’ll blush like a mad man if I do, and he knows it.
“Well, we’ll see just how good the man’s family recipes are cause he’s on turkey.”
“What?!” Brady whips around, half a breadstick hanging from his mouth. “I wanted the turkey.”
“You got the ham,” Cam argues.
Brady nods and turns back to the open fridge.
We chat a little more, enjoying the fact that we have nowhere to be and no need to rush around.
A little while later, Mase takes the others home, since it’s dark out now and they didn’t want to walk the half mile in the cold with Payton.
Once Mase gets back, Brady looks around, realizing the third piece of their puzzle is missing. “Where’s Chase?”
“He went to bed an hour ago,” Mason tells them, pushing to his feet. “Speaking of bed. I’m beat.”
Everyone nods in agreement, and we make our way to our rooms, but not before Mason pins Noah with a glare. “You’re in the guest room, fucker.”
“That’s what he’s trying to do.” Brady rocks in his chair, eyeing us.
Noah simply laughs. “My bags are already in the extra room. Thanks for letting me stay.”
“Um, it’s my house too, and so not up to them.”
With a smirk, Noah says, “Yeah, it is.”
I give him the evil eye and Mason pushes on my head, clamping a hand on Noah’s shoulder, as he repeats his earlier comment. “Good fucking answer.”
“Go to bed already,” I tease, relaxing into the space beside Noah.
Several of us settle into the living room for a movie and not an hour after we’ve split for bed, does Mason’s shouts wake up the entire house.
“Payton’s in labor, and she’s scared!”
Just like that, to the hospital we go.
“Does it always take this long to have a baby?” Cameron stands, stretching her neck.
“I don’t know.” I shrug, lifting my head off of Brady’s shoulder. “When’s the last time Parker came out with an update?”
“About an hour ago?”
“Here he comes now.” Nate nods his chin toward the double doors as they begin to open, Payton’s brother on the other side.
He shakes his head. “Nothing yet. They gave her something to speed things along, and she’s crying a bit now.” A pained expression blankets his face. “They wanted to check her so she kicked me out, but she wouldn’t let go of Kenra’s hand.”
I nod, rubbing my eyes.
“This baby is already stubborn and he ain’t even born.” Lolli grins.
Parker scoffs a laugh. “Right?”
Cam sits back down, knocking her knee into mine. “You heard from Noah?”
“Not since I sent him to the house. Is Trey there yet?”
She nods, showing me a picture he sent her of them sitting by our fire pit on the back patio.
I chuckle, shaking my head.
After the first eight hours, I sent Noah to the house. He tried to refuse, but I insisted. Especially since Trey was driving in alone. He needed someone there to welcome him and who better than his friend?
“Where’s Mason?” I look around.
“He was just here…”
“He snuck in the door when that doc walked out.” Chase looks up from his phone, his attention going right back. That’s about the most he’s said today.
Parker sighs, frowning. “Course he did. I’m gonna use the restroom and go back in.”
Five minutes later, when Parker’s headed back through the double doors, Mason comes bounding out from the other side.
“Baby’s coming!” he shouts, clapping his hands.
“What?!” Parker’s eyes widen, and he starts jogging down the hall as we all jump from our seats.
We crowd the doors, waiting for them to come back out with some news, and it’s not long before my cousin Kenra steps out with a smile. “It’s a boy!”
“Aww!” I fuss. “She was right.”
“Can we go in?” Cam darts forward.
“Yeah, but only two at a time.”
Me and Cam don’t bother looking to the others, but dash through the door and around the corner, jerking to a stop in front of her room.
Payton looks up.
“Hi.” We quietly enter, coming to her bedside, Mason and Parker standing just behind her.
The little cocoon in her arms is so tiny, and as I reach Payton’s side, his little face comes into view, a little beanie already on his head.
A little baby boy, so precious.
Payton is pale and tired, a mix of emotions written on her face, love being the most obvious.
“Does he have a name?” I whisper.
She nods, tears pooling in her eyes. “His name is Deaton.”
After his daddy, who he’ll never get the chance to meet.
“That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful boy.” I smile, running the tips of my fingers over his soft, little hand. He stirs, the sweetest little sounds slipping from him that melt my heart. “Happy Thanksgiving, Deaton.”
Exhausted, we pull ourselves out of Mason’s Tahoe and head up the deck to the front door.
“Guess it’s Door Dash for dinner?” Cam huffs.
�
�Are they even open on Turkey day?” Brady yawns.
“I don’t know. I’m fine with cereal at this point. I’m freaking starv—”
Stepping through the door, we’re hit with the most comforting of smells, a fresh fire burning and my grandma’s stuffing.
I rush into the kitchen, my stomach swirling as I hit the corner and come to a jerky stop.
The island is covered in Thanksgiving tradition, and my smile broadens.
Cameron comes around as fast I did, her chest bumping into my back, and she gasps. “Holy shit!”
The others file in around me, slipping forward and examining the dishes alongside me.
There’s mashed potatoes and gravy, yams, and green bean casserole. A glistening ham, covered in pineapple rings and a bowl of stuffing.
Noah pushes through the patio door then, and in his hands, there’s a turkey.
He freezes when he sees us, but a smile curves his lips a moment later, and he continues to the counter, setting the large platter down. “Hey.”
“Dude, Noah. Are you fucking serious?” Brady grins, sticking his finger in the side of the mashed potatoes, and getting swatted away by Cameron.
“Bro.” Mason steps toward him, clamping his hands. “Thank you, man. This looks fucking good.”
I curve around the island, the others still checking out the food, and step into Noah. “You made us Thanksgiving dinner?”
“Did you really think I’d leave you at the hospital just to come back here and rest?”
I pause. “Well, now that you mention it, that was a very unlike you thing to do.”
“You were excited for today, and I didn’t want you to miss it.” He turns me, hugging me to him from behind, and toward the food, the others already pulling plates and drinks out. “Some of this I’ve never made before. I hope it’s decent.”
“Google?”
Noah chuckles, pushing me forward. “Eat.”
We don’t argue.
We eat.
Noah had nothing to worry about, everything was amazing, and while I couldn’t possibly tell my mom, Noah’s mom’s yams’ recipe was to die for, the crusted marshmallows on top a dessert all their own.
Almost everyone goes back for seconds of something, and it’s not long after that, we’re stuffed and enjoying some mixed drinks by the fire.
Say You Swear Page 30