by Jacki Kelly
“Mornin’, ma’am. Are you ready for breakfast?” Clint asked while a woman she hadn’t met cracked eggs against a bowl. “Carmelita will have breakfast ready in a few minutes.”
“Carmelita, it’s nice to meet you. But hold up on breakfast. Darius is still sound asleep and I’m going for a run. By the time I get back, maybe sleepy-head will be ready to eat.” She set her sports watch. “Give me about forty-five minutes.”
“Sure, no problem.” Carmelita wiped her hands on the apron around her ample waist and put the bowl in the refrigerator.
“Clint, is there a coffee shop down the road?”
“Yes. It’s a long way.”
“I don’t mind. After all I ate last night, I need a long run. If Darius asks where I am, let him know I’ll be back shortly.”
Clint nodded.
Outside, she cranked her neck left, then right. Instead of running on the beach, she turned in the opposite direction and headed toward the small strip mall they’d drove past on the way home from the luau.
The moment her feet hit the pavement, happiness filled her lungs. With each step, she shook away all the dogma collecting in the corners of her life. Thinking about Darius made her smile, the way it used to in the beginning. For so long, she had thought all their good times were behind them, now she knew better.
The crisp morning air fueled her for the first mile. Exhilaration for the new path she and Darius had found provided the energy for the second mile. By the time the coffee shop came into view, she was winded. She slowed her pace and came to a stop just outside the door. She placed her hands on her knees and tried to regulate her breathing. A wide wet spot stained the front of her sports bra.
“It’s not you again? How do we keep running into each other like this?” Rob stood over her with a large cup in his hand.
She straightened and arched her back. “Get outta here. I don’t believe this. Are you following me?” She managed to puff out the words while breathing hard.
“I’m not, but I could.” He grinned.
“And like I told you before, it wouldn’t do you any good.” She placed her hands on her hips and nodded at his cup. “I see some things don’t change. We both still need our coffee first thing in the morning, huh?”
He laughed. “You’re right. Why don’t you grab that table over there and I’ll get you a coffee. Large with sugar and cream, right?”
“Yes, but now I’m on decaf,” she said.
“Got it.”
She plopped in the chair and grabbed a napkin from the small holder on the table. After wiping her forehead and neck, she took a deep breath. Two miles shouldn’t have exhausted her. She depressed the chronograph on her watch and tracked her heart rate.
“Are you going to live?” Rob asked as he took the seat next to her and placed a cup on the table.
“You tell me, you’re the doctor.” She picked up the cup and blew into the small hole to cool the coffee. “I can’t believe you’re a doctor. You set your mind on something and you just did it. You must feel fantastic.”
“I finally put me on top of the priority list. Instead of continuing to talk about what I wanted over and over again, I decided to do something to make my dream come true. How about you? Are you enjoying yourself at the university?”
She hesitated for a moment. Teaching was something she did. It didn’t require much from her, but she didn’t envision standing in front of a classroom for the rest of her life. Living in San Francisco was supposed to be for a short time. But moving back to the east coast never came up for discussion anymore. Darius traveled so much she felt like she lived in San Francisco alone, anchored on the west coast, miles away from her family.
“I don’t know. I’m not buzzed about teaching the way I used to be.”
“So, if you could do something else, what would it be?” He looked over his cup at her as he took a sip.
She stared at him, unable to answer his question. “I don’t know. I used to think I wanted to be in PR. I pictured myself as a publicist. Hanging out with bigwigs in New York, being in the middle of something new and fascinating. But my heart has always been in art, drawing, and painting. In my spare time, I used to have an easel set up in our spare bedroom. Once, I even drew up a business plan to open a gallery.”
“Then why don’t you? What’s stopping you?” She detected a hint of pity in his eyes.
“Darius is so busy and so connected on the west coast I just can’t—”
“What does his career have to do with what you want? If you can’t get to the east coast, then get started on the west coast. Think Hollywood. There are lots of people in Hollywood who restyle their homes yearly. They are always searching for something new and different. I think they would love to say they found the perfect piece at a local gallery,” he encouraged her.
She laughed and sipped the hot coffee. He made it sound so easy, like she couldn’t find her nose with her own fingertip. Was she being silly or was she afraid? “What if I throw open the door on my own business and no one shows up?”
He removed the lid on his cup and swirled the contents. “Well, you can sit on the sidelines and wonder, or you can jump into the game. I’ll tell you what, jumping in is much more fun than just watching everyone else do their thing.”
She agreed and took the first big gulp of her coffee. Rob patted her hand.
****
Darius picked up his pace, expecting to come up on Melissa or at least to see her in the distance. Sweat rolled down his brow. He jogged up to the coffee shop in time to see Rob reach for Melissa’s hand.
He slowed his pace to a walk without taking his eyes off her. She gave Rob a smile that didn’t reveal much, but she seemed happy. Maybe he was being silly, but how did the two of them end up here this morning? Melissa couldn’t have planned this, could she? Coming to Maui had been his idea.
His heart pounded against his chest. He took a deep breath as he made his way to the table.
“Ahem.”
Melissa’s head snapped up to see him. “Darius…what are you doing here? When I left, you were still in bed. I thought you were sleeping in this morning.”
“Obviously.” He looked down at Rob’s hand positioned on top of hers. She pulled her hand free. “We came here to spend some time together, so I decided to get up and try to catch you.”
“Rob was just giving me some coaching advice.”
Darius claimed the empty chair beside her, pushing his sweaty body closer to her so the two of them were on the same side of the table.
“Oh, like what?” Instead of giving her his attention, he glared across the table at Rob.
“About me continuing to teach or doing what I really want to do.” She placed her hand on his arm and applied enough pressure to get him to look her way.
“You don’t want to teach anymore? Why haven’t you ever told me? You love it so much.” Her confession felt like a punch instead of a declaration. Why hadn’t she confided in him? He used to be the person she talked to about everything. When had she dropped his status below a casual friend?
Rob stood. “I really need to get back. You two take care.” He seemed uneasy.
“Rob, you don’t have to run off. If you have some good advice for Melissa, we’d like to hear it.” The moment the spiteful words left his mouth, he wanted to draw them back. The uncomfortable feeling of seeing another man’s hand on Melissa’s wouldn’t ease up. And if he had to fight to keep her, he would.
Rob’s eyes darted to Melissa and back to him. “I better get going. You two enjoy your jog.” He hurried down the street without a backward glance.
Melissa put her chin in the palm of her hand and glared at him. “What exactly is wrong with you, Darius?”
He ran his hand down his face. He deserved whatever she dished out. But he wouldn’t be a fool or as forgiving as his father had been when he’d found out about his wife’s indiscretion. “I don’t know. Last night you were hugging him, today he’s holding your hand. I don’t know
what to think.”
“Well, you should know what not to think. I feel like I owe Rob an apology. He must think we’re a bunch of kooks. I know I would. Do you think I set up a rendezvous with him here in Maui, right under your nose?”
He looked out beyond the parking lot to the traffic waiting at the light. A father on a bicycle with a baby seat attached on the back was waiting too. When the signal changed, he crossed the street while his son swung his feet. They seemed to enjoy the morning much more than him.
“You can ignore me, but one of these days you’ll need to answer that question.” She stood. “I’m going back to the villa.” She took off without waiting for him, leaving her coffee on the table.
His eyes were glued to her thighs as she sprinted down the street. When she disappeared around the corner, he pushed away from the table and stood. His calves were tightening. He bent at the waist and pressed his palms against the tips of his running shoes.
Of course, she was right. He’d planned the whole trip, she couldn’t have set up a meeting, but logic didn’t dispel the weight sitting on his chest. The heaviness warned him something bad was bound to happen. Life always had a surprise, and sometimes, they weren’t good ones.
Several deep breaths did nothing to alleviate the uneasiness in his chest moving across his torso and into his legs. He shook his head, hoping the apprehension would move on to trouble someone else.
The jog back to the villa wasn’t as satisfying as the run to the coffee shop. His limbs felt laden with dread. The last mile had him gasping for air until he finally slowed his pace. Melissa thought she was the only one marked by the dysfunction of her family, but the scars from his parents were just as deep and just as ugly.
He picked up speed and tried to draw more air into his aching lungs. At least the burn in his chest allowed him to focus on the external pain, the one he could control. Maybe his mother’s little secret had warped him. After twenty years, letting it go might be the one act that could really set him free.
From the foot of the driveway, he saw Melissa lying on the floor of the veranda overlooking the ocean. With her hands behind her head, she stared at the clear blue sky. He made his way to her and flopped in the nearest chaise. She turned to acknowledge him without saying anything, then closed her eyes. He cleared his throat between deep gulps of air.
“Okay, my behavior was over the top. You would have reacted the same way.” He rubbed his hands together.
She peeked at him again but said nothing.
“Aren’t you going to talk to me?”
“I’ll let you do the talking. What’s going on?” She sat up straight, crossed her legs yoga style.
“I don’t like Rob.”
“That’s not an explanation. What else you got?” She exhaled from her mouth. Her cool demeanor was unnerving. Melissa had a set of claws she only retracted when she was happy. From the glint in her eyes, she was a long way from happy.
“This is our vacation. I don’t want anything intruding on us. I even told Dan not to call me.”
“Darius, as much as you may want to, you can’t control every situation. Rob isn’t threatening our time together. How many times have I seen pictures of you in compromising situations or read a news story where an explanation was required? But I’m still here. If this is going to work you need to trust me too.
“But you know most of those articles about me are all made up.”
“Some of it sounded pretty real to me. Don’t believe for one moment I haven’t had cause to wonder.”
“It’s the business, Melissa. How many times do I have to remind you?”
He jumped off the chair, turning his back to her. At the rail, he inhaled the smell of the ocean; the salt air stung his nostrils the same way her words stung. If he couldn’t control his environment, then who would? No way could he live his life dangling from a string while someone else dictated his actions.
“Melissa, you know me well enough to know even though I can’t control everything, I won’t stop trying.” He tightened his hold on the banister while turning just enough to see her face. He sighed. “I think we won’t see Rob again. Let’s just enjoy the rest of our week here. What do you say?”
For several moments, she looked at him without saying a word. Seagulls squawked while strutting along the beach. She stared at his face like she was searching for the right answer, but something kept her from closing the distance between them.
“You just have to trust me, Melissa.”
“I want to, Darius. I used to.” She stood up but remained a few feet away from him. “But you’ve got to trust me too. We can’t let the baggage of our parents haunt us forever.”
He opened his arms hoping she’d walk back into their marriage with a willing heart.
Without the wondrous amazement he wanted to see in her eyes, like when she’d said yes to his marriage proposal, she accepted his hand and the kiss to seal their deal. The nagging ache at the base of his neck reminded him to tread carefully. The minefield surrounding their marriage hadn’t been disarmed by a mere kiss.
Chapter Fourteen
Melissa waited until the server disappeared behind the colorful partition before reaching for Darius’s hand. Their truce had lasted all week. As the vacation drew to a close, the tension between them, along with the doubts, had eased out to sea with the tide. She didn’t even want to remember what had started all the bickering and angst.
“I can’t believe our week is up. The time went so fast,” she said.
He stroked the tops of her fingers. “It seems like we just got here yesterday. But look at all the stuff we got to do. We even took the sunset cruise.” He smiled.
“At least I managed to see the sun fall below the horizon before falling asleep,” she laughed.
The waiter returned with a sparkling red wine. He made an elaborate show of popping the cork and filling their glasses. After taking their meal requests, he left them alone on the empty balcony.
“Are you sure you didn’t keep me busy just to make sure we didn’t run into Rob again?”
He almost smiled, even though his lips curled up, his face remained stoic. “You’d think by now I’d gotten past my old insecurities. But when I least expect them, they pop up again. Maybe that’s the way it will always be.”
“I’m not like your mother. You can trust me.”
“Deep down inside, I know you’re not. But I carried her secret for years, hoping my father wouldn’t find out. Even though he never said it, I think he wonders why I never said anything to him about what was going on. So, under some circumstances, I’m always suspicious.”
She leaned closer to him and squeezed his hand. “What happened between your parents was a long time ago. They seem to be doing fine. When your father found out, they worked through their problem. Now, their marriage is strong and they seem very happy.”
“Sometimes my father gets in a mood and no one can understand his depression. I think the pain of my mother’s adultery still dogs him.”
“But he’s happy, Darius. You believe he’s alright, don’t you?”
He nodded and refocused his attention on her instead of the silverware on the table. “I don’t want to talk about my family. This evening is all about us.”
“How long has it been since we’ve spent quality time together?” she asked, while trying to decipher the distant look hiding behind his eyes.
“Obviously, too long. But this week brought us closer together.”
“How do we take what we’re feeling back home with us?”
He reached beyond the table to place his hand over her heart and his other hand over his. “We have to carry the passion in here, Melissa.” He thumped his chest. “If it’s not in here, we’re doomed.”
She nodded agreement. The sincerity in his voice left no room for vacillating.
Finally, the commitment she wanted from him was spoken under the full moon in one of the most romantic places on earth. Her heart swelled with each beat.
“This trip was everything you promised. I even know how to snorkel now. I have the scratches on my ankles to prove it.” She stuck out her leg to show him.
“I told you to watch out for the coral,” he chuckled.
“I’ll remember to follow your guidance the next time.” She lifted her wine glass and tapped his.
“Why don’t you come with me on tour? This doesn’t have to end. Think about how much fun we can have. I want you beside me.”
As much as he wanted to have her on the road, she couldn’t. The university needed her back in the classroom. Besides, going from city to city and listening to screaming fans was no longer her idea of fun. That was his dream, not hers. In the quiet moments between their adventures, she was able to decide on two important things. She wanted to save her marriage and it was also time to find something to make her as happy as music made him. And it couldn’t be clinging to him.
“You know I can’t. But I think after this semester I might not go back to the classroom.”
Darius sat up straight in his chair. “You were serious the other day?”
“Yes, I was. I’ve been thinking about my career a lot for several months. My parents loved teaching. I just kinda fell into it.”
“What will you do? I can’t imagine you sitting around the house all day.”
“My sisters have found their passion. I think it’s time I pursue mine.”
“You’re going to paint?” For the first time since they sat down to dinner, his eyes lit up, sparkling like sea glass.
She shrugged her shoulders. “I might. I’m thinking about it. And I may open an art gallery for up and coming artists. With my own place, I can help someone else and display my pieces too.”
He nodded as if the thought had to be absorbed. “I like the idea. It’s about time you got back to your canvas.”
“I’m only thinking about the options. I haven’t made up my mind yet.”
“What brought on this change?”
She didn’t dare tell him that all the talk about careers and passion had tilted her universe and knocked her off kilter. Her parents had always assumed she’d be a teacher, so, while growing up, it was easier to assume the position than it was to fight with them. But now everything was different; pleasing them was no longer required. If Rob could follow his dream for medical school, she could pick up her brushes and get serious.