by Jacki Kelly
Melissa unfolded the napkin and placed it in her lap. “We’ve started sleeping together,” she said without making eye contact.
“Like with your eyes closed, or are we talking about something more?” Pam moved closer and lowered her voice. “Spill the story.”
“More.”
Pam slapped her palm against her forehead. “I knew it. The way he was all over you, making sure you had everything you needed. And I swear he stared at you the whole time you were there like you were something good to eat. After all the lectures you gave me. Don’t you follow your own advice?”
“Oh, shut up. We hadn’t slept together before the shower. We started after. So, now that I’ve blown holes in your theory, can I say something?”
“Sure. I’m sure you have a good reason for sleeping with a man you plan to divorce.”
“I didn’t mean for this to happen. And I’m keeping my emotions guarded.”
“That’s bull and you know it.” Pam gave her a piercing stare.
“I’m pregnant. I’m horny. I wanted him. I can’t help it, Pam. What am I supposed to do? He’s living in the house with me. I was seeing him naked practically every day. He’s so sweet and takes care of me. He’s being perfect.” Melissa tore the cellophane from the tuna sandwich and took a bite.
“Do you know what you’re doing?” Pam popped the top on the sodas, then ripped open the chips.
“No. I have no idea. Right now, I’m letting my libido lead the way. I figure I have plenty of time to be responsible when the baby gets here.”
Pam shook her head. “If only life worked the way we wanted it to.” She removed one slice of bread from her sandwich before biting into the turkey. “Maybe he’s changed.”
“But will the change stick this time or will he backslide to his selfish self when he starts touring again after the baby is born?”
“That’s a chance you’ll have to take. At least with Darius you know what you’ve got. This dating thing is tough. From one date to the next, I see all kinds of kooks. The crazy you know is better than the crazy you don’t know.” Pam passed the chips to her.
“I think for now I’ll just enjoy whatever this is we have. At least while I’m pregnant I can’t get pregnant again.”
****
The apartment was quiet when Melissa opened the door. Turbo didn’t even come charging around the corner to greet her. She placed her things in the closet and slipped out of her shoes. The cool feel of the hardwoods against the soles of her feet was a welcome relief. Maybe it was time to switch to flat shoes.
“Anybody home?” she called out as she entered the kitchen.
“Coming.” Darius’ voice came from the small bedroom that was supposed to be his, but he’d abandon it when he started sleeping next to her.
She filled a glass with tap water and drank it all without stopping.
“Come here, I have something to show you.” Darius reached for her hand.
“What’s for dinner? I’m hungry.”
He lifted a brow and gripped her hand tighter. “Woman, do you think about anything other than food?”
“No. Am I supposed to?”
“We’ll go out after I show you this. Close your eyes.”
“I’m not walking around with my eyes closed. With this belly, I’m having a hard enough time keeping my balance.” She pulled her hand away.
“Trust me.”
She allowed him to lead her down the hall. She held out the hand he wasn’t holding just in case. When they slowed, she said, “Can I open my eyes now?”
He released her hand for a moment. “Okay, now.”
Inside the bedroom, in the center of the floor, was the crib she’d admired a few weeks ago.
“Oh, Darius, it’s beautiful.” She walked around the crib, running her finger along the side. The last several months had been perfect, like she’d finally landed in the right fairy tale. She made her way back to Darius and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Thank you. I don’t know what else to say.”
“You’ve said plenty.” He kissed her on the mouth. The tenderness in his touch melted away the last vestiges of anger she had for his abandonment.
She pulled away just enough to see his eyes. “Did you put the crib together?”
“Are you kidding? I had them assemble the crib when they brought it in, and then paid them to take the full-size bed away to storage.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and turned her to face the wall. The matching dresser and changing table were nestled against the wall. Tears stung her eyes. She was going to start crying.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m surprised.” She wiped at the tears as they landed on her cheeks. “You’re being so nice. I don’t know…”
“I promised to be here for you.” He put both arms around her and planted his mouth over hers. His tongue was gentle just like his arms were around her waist.
“Now, go change your clothes; we’re going out tonight. Wear something comfortable.”
“Where are we going, out to eat?”
“Of course I’m going to feed you, but we’re going to have some fun too.” He tapped her on the butt. “Hurry, we don’t want to be late.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Darius escorted Melissa to the waiting limousine. For the past two months, he’d wanted all the attention focused on Melissa. She deserved to be treated like a princess on a pedestal. The last two years of his career had driven him to become someone he hardly recognized; no wonder she was ready to walk away from their marriage.
“Darius, you said dress casual. Now, I think I’m under-dressed,” she said.
The driver held the car door open and they slid into the back seat.
“You look perfect. I’ve never seen another woman wear maternity clothes so well.” He put his hand on her stomach.
“You like feeling him kick, don’t you?” She put her hand on top of his.
“When I feel him moving, he’s Darius Jr., not just a baby. Plus, you can’t fuss when I’m just trying to feel my child versus trying to feel you up.”
She gave him a playful swat. “So, where are we going, and what is the surprise?”
“Let me see. Should I tell you now or make you wait?” He pretended to think about it. “I think you should wait.” He put his hand back on her stomach. “How is the gallery?”
“I sold my second piece today, the abstract of the Brandywine River. Even though the guy could have obviously paid more, I let him haggle me down. I’ll need to bring in some more artists soon or the walls will be bare. I didn’t take into consideration the lead time to get quality work. But, I know you don’t want to hear about the gallery.”
“I really do, Melissa.” He rolled his hand over her belly. “Thank you for putting up with me. I know I’m damaged, but I’m trying to be better.”
She bit down on her lip and nodded.
“We’ve both got some stuff to deal with. But, you have way more than me.” She laughed and cut the tension.
The car slowed in front of the small, family-owned steak-house restaurant they’d found one night when she had to eat something and it had to be good. His stomach roared like a turbulent ocean. After two months of shining the spotlight on her, tonight, he wanted to showcase their love. The public needed to see them as a couple. Even though divorce was still a possibility, his world would always revolve around her, and if the world knew about them, then maybe, one day, she would too.
“Darius, I’m not dressed for this place. Look at me, in maternity Capri pants and a knit top. I should have worn a dress and heels. I’m wearing flats that barely match my outfit.” She stuck out her foot in protest as he held the car door open for her.
“You look perfect. I’m wearing jeans, so we’re fine.”
The driver hurried to the restaurant entrance and pulled the door open for them. As soon as they entered, he could hear the buzz of people inside. Once they walked past the bar into the large dining room, the clapping began.
“What is g
oing on? What are we celebrating?” Melissa stopped, the puzzled expression on her face demanding an explanation.
Before he could explain, Dan materialized from the group gathering closer. “Did he tell you the good news?”
“Not yet, I wanted to tell her with everyone present.” He put his hand around her fast disappearing waist. Never had she felt so good in his arms.
“Do you see your sisters?” He pointed them out in the crowd, along with Pam. “And see, everyone dressed casual. Even Asa is wearing jeans.”
Dan clapped his hands and everyone quieted. “I wanted to throw a little party for Darius. His second album - Liquid Gold - just went multi-platinum. He has sold over two million copies.” The crowd roared with applause. Dan hushed them by waving his hands. “Wait, there’s more. Tomorrow, we’ll sign the biggest endorsement deal ever recorded for the record industry. I won’t mention who the lucky endorser is since we don’t ink the deal until tomorrow. Let’s just say they’re so happy to have him on board they’re sponsoring this get-together tonight and they want us to have a good time. So with that, bring it on.”
The music grew louder just as a stream of servers with loaded platters pushed through the double doors leading from the kitchen. The choreographed scene came straight out of Dan’s play book. The two of them were crushed by a wall of people. He refused to let her slip away.
“Please stay by my side tonight. The only reason I allowed Dan to throw this party is because I thought you might come with me.”
She cupped his face and kissed him on the mouth. Instead of the peck she intended, he deepened the kiss, savoring her essence. Her stomach kept him from holding her as tight as he wanted.
After a few moments, she pulled away. “Congratulations, baby. You’ve worked so hard and you deserve this. I see your dad and mom are both here too. That’s great. This is your moment. Go mingle with everyone; I’ll be fine.”
“Nope. I’m not leaving your side.” He held her hands as the crowd gathered around them.
“Darius let me get you a drink; what are you having?” Dan yelled as Darius’s mother approached.
“I’m drinking the same thing Melissa’s drinking, soda.”
“Son, I’m so proud of you.” His mother kissed his cheek. “Melissa’s pregnancy agrees with you. And obviously, it agrees with the two of you. I never believed that nasty old business about you getting divorced. You two are so in love I can feel it.” She placed her hand over her heart.
****
Melissa absorbed his mother’s words without responding. She’d made the statement with such certainty she left no room for doubt. Melissa caught a quick glimpse of Darius, his face was expressionless. Were the two of them pretending for the sake of the baby?
“I hate to pull him away from you, Melissa, but I need him for just a moment,” Dan said. “I’ll make sure I bring him right back.”
“Do you mind, honey?” Darius released her hand for the first time since they arrived. He looked reluctant to leave her side.
“Go, please. I was beginning to wonder how I was going to get into the ladies room with you.” She laughed.
As soon as he disappeared in the crowd, she found her sisters. “Meet me in the bathroom now,” she ordered.
“Is everything okay?” Dakota’s husband, Bishop asked.
“Yes, fine.” She jerked her head towards the restrooms and narrowed her eyes.
“We better go now.” Dakota handed her drink to Bishop and pulled Asa along.
“You too, Pam,” Asa yelled over her shoulder.
As soon as the four of them were inside, Melissa locked the door.
“What’s going on?” Asa asked. “You look like something just scared the color out of you.”
“I don’t know. I feel like I’m having a panic attack, but I’ve never had one before, so I don’t know.” She dropped on the bench in the lounge just outside the stalls.
“Did something happen?” Dakota sat beside her and rubbed her arm.
The alarm in the three pairs of eyes staring didn’t help. Pam fisted her fingers.
“I can’t explain it. I was fine when I left home. I’m excited for Darius. He deserves this party, but I feel like we’re being dishonest. People are congratulating us and giving us antidotes about marriage and babies like everything is normal. His mother swears she can see our love. His father is making plans for Darius and me to spend the weekend at his place once the baby gets here.” She stopped for a deep breath.
“From the way the two of you are smiling and touching, I thought you two had settled your differences too,” Asa said. “I don’t think his parents meant any harm.”
“But don’t you see? I was just beginning to find myself again. The gallery just opened. I have a condo that I adore. I’m making new friends. I’m living a life that I like, not one Darius forced me to accept. And now, everything is spinning out of control. I’m pregnant and Darius is living in the apartment. I feel like someone else is mapping my life again.” She took a deep breath.
“What are you saying?” Dakota’s eyes widened. “Are you wishing you weren’t pregnant?”
“Oh, no. Not at all. The baby is the best part of all of this.” She made a circle with her hands. “But, with the baby comes a whole lot of other stuff, and I’m not sure I want to sign on for the extras. Suppose Darius wants to move back to San Francisco or has some crazy notion that I should close up the gallery? I was finally in control of my own life, and now I feel like my control is slipping away.”
“It doesn’t have to,” Dakota said. “We come from tough stock, Melissa. If you’re happy with your life now, fight for it.”
“Melissa, can’t you tell by the way Darius is focused on you that his feelings for you are genuine? If I could find a man willing to do half the stuff he’s done for you in the past few months, I’d stick to him like glue.” Pam knelt in front of her and placed her hands on Melissa’s knees. “Maybe your hormones have interfered with your intuition.”
Melissa shook her head with such force her vision blurred. “No. I can’t assume he’s doing all this stuff for me. We’re both committed to making sure the baby is loved and nurtured in a positive environment. And I know I’m willing to do anything to make sure we live up to our commitment. But, for me to interpret our actions as anything more would be crazy. Foolish. How could I have been so foolish again?”
Dakota squeezed her arm. “Miss. Tough-As-Nails, I think you and Darius need to have a real conversation. Mim always told us you can’t hide from the truth, and I think for months you’ve done exactly that.”
“What if my truth doesn’t match his reality?” She fought back the emotion.
“Then you’ll just have to accept the outcome, but at least you’ll be making a decision with all the facts,” Dakota said in a soft whisper.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
The ride home was quiet, giving Melissa too much time to rehash the evening in her head. Her thought processes were faulty for sure. Sleeping with Darius was proof. At first, she thought she was only satisfying her sexual desire, but she was pleasuring her heart too.
She’d spent days wondering why Pam took so long to get over Steve. Now, she understood the strength of love. In the dark interior of the limousine, she smirked at her stupidity. Thinking she was in control had been her folly.
“Did you enjoy the party?” Darius slid to her side of the car.
“Yes. I think everyone had a good time.”
“Dan wanted to discuss my next tour, but I told him any more touring would have to wait until after the baby gets here.”
“Do you think delaying is a good idea? You know, strike while the irons are hot and all.”
He didn’t reply for a moment. The silence hanging between them was a comfortable one. Instead of the worry that would have dogged her in the past, she believed in him.
“No, I’m not worried about being forgotten. I’ve accomplished so much. I’m not greedy.”
“Wanting a career isn
’t asking too much.” She wanted to give him a way out. If she could ease him into telling her what he really wanted, maybe then she’d have the courage to do the same.
“We have plenty of time to talk about our careers. Being stationary has given me time to relax and write music. I’m more fit and rested. Running around and touring takes a toll on the body.”
Melissa closed her eyes. Her sisters were right. She couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer. There was too much at stake now.
As soon as they walked into the apartment, Turbo greeted them.
“I’ll walk the dog and be right back,” Darius said as he attached the leash.
She nodded. The thick feeling in her throat grew bigger. As tough as she thought she was, she wasn’t ready to change the shade of her life. The apartment was home because signs of Darius were everywhere. His records, his iPod, even his sheet music. If everything disappeared, what would be left?
She pushed open the door to the nursery. Just seeing the baby furniture doused her with reality. With her hand planted on her stomach, she let her eyes drift around the room. There was still a lot to do before she could call the decorating complete, but no matter what, she couldn’t keep hiding from the inevitable.
****
Darius walked the dog the two blocks to the park before he allowed him to stop and sniff. He was wound as tight as Turbo and every step helped him release some of the excitement from the evening.
The night was a success. His parents had managed to be in the same place without casting a chill over the whole room. The two of them must have finally found what they needed from life. But his mother’s words were like a bad note in his ears. He’d felt Melissa stiffen after her comment. As much as he wanted those words to be true, he had doubts. Playing house with Melissa was fun. He was ready to make it permanent again, but she seemed skittish. She needed more time to be coaxed into the idea.
He circled the park, allowing the dog to stop every few feet. No matter how long he delayed going home, sooner or later, he needed to tell her what was in his heart. The divorce papers were a constant reminder they had unfinished business. By now he thought she’d have forgiven him and destroyed the documents, but they remained on the table like a bomb about to explode.