He pulled her roughly to him, meeting her eyes in challenge. She kissed him in response, her tongue lashing at his in a fury, desperate to prove that he was wrong, that they were just friends and that everything was the same between them. Part of him wanted to believe it, too, wanted to wake up and not feel the yearning for her so deep in his bones like it would never leave. And he knew it wouldn’t. So he gave in to it, accepted that together or not together, he was hers.
He took over the kiss, soothing her assault with the same considered patience he applied to their friendship, letting her know that everything was okay. They were okay. She could stab him in the heart and they would be okay. He would make sure of it.
Lifting her onto the island, he pulled off her sweatshirt, bra and leggings and threw them to the ground. He tugged a hard pink nipple in his mouth and feasted like he hadn’t gotten to last night. Tonight he wanted her to see just who the fuck she was dealing with, wanted her to know just who was going to fuck her.
She squirmed underneath him as he sucked just to the point of pain, how he knew she liked. They both played on the edge and he didn’t suppose sex would be any different. His free hand pinched her other nipple and she bucked against him, but he ignored it, kept up his sucking until she cried out, convulsing beneath him.
He rose, letting her nipple pop out of his mouth. Their eyes met again and he raised a knowing eyebrow at the shocked look on her face. She’d come just from nipple stimulation alone, so that was two firsts he’d delivered.
Still keeping her gaze locked with his, he drew his tongue all the way down from the valley of her breasts over her abdomen, around her belly button and to her clit, gently easing her down from the edge while amping her up again. She got antsy against his mouth, whimpering with need, and he’d never heard anything so damned good as Alexa falling apart, letting everything between them disappear into nothing but the two of them needing each other.
He dived in, licking and sucking at her core, moving his tongue in her like it was his job.
“Carter,” she moaned, her hands clenching in his hair, something he’d imagined countless times when he jerked off.
He was hard as steel and didn’t want to wait anymore. Reaching for his wallet, he unearthed a condom, catching her gaze again as he took himself in his hand, stroking just the slightest bit. He slowly slid the condom on, drawing it out, reveling in the look on her face. She wanted him like her next breath and he couldn’t get enough. All the years he’d been waiting for this moment crystallized in her gaze; time didn’t exist anymore, not the years between them, not the minutes before when they’d been fighting.
Opening up her legs, he slipped them over his shoulders and slid into her heat inch by slow inch. Her moan was like a cattle prod and he lost control, driving into her over and over again. A bowl of her oranges fell to the ground as she grasped wildly looking for purchase, but he’d placed her specifically so she had nothing to hold on to. He wanted her exposed and helpless and unable to wrest the reins away from him. He’d been living in the wake of her willful oblivion to his feelings for so long that he wanted her off-balance.
Alexa’s muscles gripped at him, the fluttering warning him that she was close to coming apart again. And so was he, the pressure building like a freight train behind his balls. The feel of her around him, tight and wet and hot, was filthy pleasure personified. He pulled his length out to the tip, waiting until she looked up at him again, her chest rising and falling as she breathed hard for air. He slid back into her to the root, banging against her, her harsh gasp echoing in the empty kitchen.
He pumped furiously then, watching again as she came undone.
“Eyes here,” he commanded.
Her familiar hazel eyes popped open, looking wrecked, and that was when he lost it, impaling her wildly until he exploded in a wave of pleasure so intense that his whole body shook from it.
He stayed there, buried in her, until he was able to breath semi-normally again.
Leaning over, he gave her a soft kiss, soaking up her breathlessness.
Gently lowering her legs, he stepped back and out of her, caressing her leg as he did. Quickly, he threw the condom away.
She watched him from tired eyes as he readjusted his clothes.
“I’m sorry about earlier, Carter,” she said quietly. “I don’t want to argue. It’s not only about the wedding, but I just imagined mine different is all. Like one that actually happened and that my parents were at. That’s the last time I really thought about having one.”
She pulled on her sweatshirt, but accidentally got her head caught in the oversize sleeve. He pulled it out, readjusting it for her, and her head finally appeared. He drew a finger over her cheek and kissed her on the forehead.
“Hey, people fight. We were overdue. And I get it about your parents.”
He flicked off the bright kitchen lights so only the one over the stove remained, its soft glow catching the gold in Alexa’s hair. For a second, time got away from him. She looked so young standing there in her beat-up college sweatshirt.
“Carter,” she said, her voice soft and considered as she looked up at him. “This, us, whatever we are now, means a lot to me, too. Just because I’m not ready to be married doesn’t mean it doesn’t.”
“I know,” he said, bringing her into the crook of his arm.
For now, it would have to do.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ALEXA USUALLY LOOKED forward to the monthly dinner with Carter’s family, but this was the first one since their fake engagement (and marriage) and there would be questions. So many questions to which she didn’t have answers. Considering the state of her and Carter at the moment, the probability of losing them along with Carter was mounting and had all her anxiety systems in high gear. She should have already been over here to explain what was happening and had been dodging calls from Carter’s mom and sister for weeks.
His younger sister, Kara, turned to Alexa at the dinner table, her blue eyes so similar to Carter’s. They were filled to the brim with curiosity, which didn’t bode well. Dinner had ended an hour ago and the three of them had been sitting around just catching up.
“So let me get this straight,” Kara pressed. “You guys got fake-engaged to clean up Alexa’s reputation, then you accidentally signed as the bride and groom at the chapel instead of witnesses and you accidentally got legally married.”
“That about sums it up,” Carter told her, looking at the face of his phone as if what Kara had just said wasn’t absolutely ridiculous.
She and Kara watched as he took the call into another room, his ass looking bitable in a pair of fitted jeans that hugged all the right places. In her former life those kinds of thoughts hadn’t seen the light of day, and it almost felt sacrilegious to be having them at his parents’ house.
Kara popped a kettle chip into her mouth, crunching loudly as she considered Alexa.
“Just say what you want to say, Kara,” Alexa issued bluntly.
“And you’re going to get an annulment.”
“Yes,” Alexa said for the tenth time tonight. His parents had asked the same question. Because the date might be pushed back, but the annulment was happening. If that was still a possible thing to do now that they’d consummated the marriage. A lot.
During dinner, the Hayes parents hadn’t seemed upset or surprised by the unexpected news of the abrupt wedding. Being informed that their missing invitation wasn’t on purpose seemed to put to rest any questions they might have had. Kara, however, was relentless, trying to ferret out the secrets of Alexa’s soul one noisy potato chip at a time.
Carter strode back through the door and returned to his vacated seat at the same buttery oak dining room table they’d sat around in high school.
“The annulment won’t be soon, though, because the board doesn’t want the Hayes Tech CEO to look reckless,” Carter clarified, referring to
their previous conversation.
At the mention of it, Alexa’s blood heated in irritation. She hated losing ground. Even if it was to Carter. She also didn’t appreciate that they hadn’t discussed it further. Underneath that anger, though, she knew Carter had been right about what he’d said in the kitchen that night. She was scared. Being around his family now, seeing the thing that she’d lost so up front, drove that point home for her in a way his words couldn’t. Once upon a time, she’d dreamed of having this kind of life again, but somewhere along the way she’d told herself it wasn’t possible because she wasn’t strong enough to lose it all again.
“Huh,” Kara said, crunching on another chip while regarding them speculatively.
“Jesus,” Carter barked, “can you at least close your mouth while you do that?”
“Nope,” his sister chirped, fully opening her mouth as she chewed, a move expressly designed to annoy him. Everyone knew Carter hated chewing noises.
Alexa snorted a laugh, shrugging when he raised an eyebrow in disbelief. She couldn’t help it—he deserved his sister’s torture and more.
Kara glanced at her brother and then at Alexa, before pinning them both with a look. “You guys are totally doing it,” she proclaimed.
“That’s gross, Kara. And untrue,” Alexa protested, and did a pretty good job of it, too.
Kara crunched on another chip. “Yeah, you are.”
“If you don’t quit doing that,” Carter warned, “I’ll break into your Bumble account and do a lot of indiscriminate swiping as payback.”
Kara got in a few more crunches before her eyes widened and she stood up abruptly. “Oh my God, you’ve done that before, haven’t you?”
Carter shrugged, a twinkle of guilt and satisfaction in his eyes.
“I keep getting messages from a full-blown practicing mime. I never would have contacted a mime! You know I hate silence and white face paint!”
Alexa snickered, but then thought about her own accounts, trying to remember if anything out of the ordinary had ever happened.
“Not yet,” Carter told her, reading her thoughts, “but it’s been tempting.”
“Don’t you dare,” she warned.
“Also, you two,” Carter addressed both of them, “it’s not hacking if I can just guess your password, okay? Be safe out there.”
“My password is super complicated,” Kara protested.
“Your cat’s name and your birthday?” Carter asked doubtfully. “One-sixth of all people use a pet’s name as their password and nearly half use their birthday.”
As Alexa watched the back-and-forth between Carter and Kara she got that squeezing feeling in her chest that there would be another woman sitting in her place someday enjoying their sibling camaraderie. That Carter was leaving town and she wouldn’t be at his side for these dinners anymore. She’d just be the old neighbor who stopped by for dinners sometimes while Kara and Carter moved on with their partners and families. This vision stretched out in front of her, depressing and empty.
Kara rolled her eyes at Carter’s directive. “Stay out of my stuff or I’ll post naked baby pictures of you on Instagram.”
“I was a cute naked baby,” he said, shrugging. “Do your worst.”
Kara looked to Alexa for support.
Alexa sprang into action like any good female friend. She was also just glad that the conversation had shifted from their sex life to Carter’s bad behavior.
“I have it on good authority that one of his former girlfriends has a video of Carter doing, well, you know...” She shrugged and let the words hang there for them to draw their own conclusion. It wasn’t so far-fetched considering there was a camera in his bedroom.
It was a total bluff, but if Carter was breaking into accounts he needed to know there were consequences. It wouldn’t hurt to give him a taste of his own medicine, either.
Carter’s head swiveled toward her, eyeing her speculatively. “Who?”
Alexa just shrugged. “Not telling.”
“You’re lying,” he said dismissively, but still looked wary.
“I never lie about bootleg pornography.”
Kara slapped a hand on the table and laughed. “Wow, family dinners just got interesting!”
Carter grabbed Alexa’s hand under the table and gave it an encouraging squeeze. Just that simple physical contact was enough to put her back in dangerously lusty territory. Could they make it home in five minutes? Should she analyze why the brush of the calluses on his fingers from typing turned her on? Was she now just turned on by everything he did? She’d been enjoying a rather vivid fantasy of having him in his boardroom, on top of the sleek long table where he ran meetings with the most powerful people in the country. Was her underwear tighter now? She needed to get out of this house.
“I think Mom would take offense to that statement,” Carter drawled, letting go of Alexa’s hand.
Kara just laughed. “You guys are totally doing it.”
* * *
On the way home that night from dinner, Alexa turned to Carter. “Do you think it was weird that your parents weren’t more shocked about the marriage?”
“I think they’d be more shocked if we weren’t going to have it annulled.”
“I guess so.”
“They’re probably hoping we stay married. God knows Kara isn’t going to give them grandchildren if her brother keeps breaking into her dating apps.”
Alexa laughed. “I’m serious about mine,” she growled, pointing a finger at him.
“Technically, you really shouldn’t even be on dating apps right now. It would have been a bad look when we were engaged and it’s an even worse one now that we’re married.”
“I’ve been off those sites for years.”
His brow furrowed. “Really?”
“Yeah. So it turns out you have no leverage over me and that incriminating video of you,” she said with a cheeky grin.
He neatly steered the car into his garage and she helped him carry the leftovers into the house. When the small plastic containers were stashed away, they stood staring at each other for a moment in the kitchen. Besides the show they’d put on for his family tonight, things between them hadn’t been quite the same since their fight.
And the dinner tonight hadn’t been any easier. The familiar camaraderie she enjoyed with his family felt forced and fleeting. Maybe it was just her being paranoid, but would his family be just as welcoming if they thought she hurt their son? It made the connection she’d always had with them seem extremely fragile.
“Come up to my office. There’s something I want you to see.”
She grabbed her purse and followed him upstairs, stopping in her room first to change into some yoga pants. To actually do yoga, she decided. That would be the perfect balm to her overactive libido. Heavy breathing and awkward bending.
When she made it to Carter’s office, he was sitting behind his streamlined glass desk. Two walls were completely made of windows, while the other two were covered with crowded bookshelves holding literature titles as well as some older tech manuals that he kept around for sentimental value. Pictures of his family were perched on the shelves, as well as vacation pictures and a couple of the two of them. Her favorite was one of them at the Grand Canyon. They’d driven there the day after high school graduation because it’d been her parents’ favorite place and had been where the three of them were supposed to go on vacation the year they died. That Carter had been the one to go with her meant a lot. It still did.
“What do you want me to see?” she asked, returning her attention to him. He’d also changed into a pair of black jogging pants and a white Google hoodie.
“Just that I was able to get the entire video of Kaylee’s wedding night and I wanted you to see something.”
He pulled up the extra chair beside him and gestured for her to sit.
> He hit Play and the video started, footage she hadn’t seen of the end of Kaylee’s wedding and what happened after.
It was mostly boring, the minutes ticking by as the few guests milled about in the aisles. Eventually, the camera got a close-up of Carter getting down on one knee, looking as if he was proposing to her. It should have been odd to the other wedding guests since they’d technically already been engaged, which may be why whoever it was had chosen to record the moment on their phone.
Carter looked so serious and handsome, down on one knee, and the look on her face was like any woman being proposed to, excited and shocked. She glanced down at the ring on her finger, a flutter of nerves in her stomach, because she looked like a woman in love in that video. Drunk in love, maybe, but in love nonetheless.
“Wait. You proposed for real,” she said slowly, understanding finally dawning.
Then her phone rang. Seeing that it was her uncle, Alexa answered with a cheery hello. His big voice shattered her eardrums and Carter laughed at her grimace.
“Alexa, I sold Hard Eight, honey,” he boomed. “We did it. I’m willing to bet that you’re about to be the wealthiest woman in Vegas right now.”
She clutched the phone in her hand. “Congratulations, Uncle John!” she chirped as genuinely as she could. Her ever-present mantra, Halcyon is still mine, played out a backbeat in her head, calming her enough to keep her composure because inside it felt like she was falling apart. Every part of the life she’d built and loved was unraveling thread by thread.
Carter came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and giving her a kiss on the top of her head. She took another deep breath as her uncle went through the particulars of the sale and set up the meeting with the lawyers for tomorrow at Hard Eight to set everything in motion.
“It was a movie studio,” she told Carter, explaining who bought the casino.
“I’m sorry, Alexa,” he said, giving her a squeeze before disengaging. Taking his seat again, he gave her a cheeky smile. “Any chance you’re looking to diversify your investment portfolio? I know a successful security software company that is seeking to expand.”
Friends with Benefits Page 12