Chapter 21
“I’m not in love with Harry anymore,” I say, slowly, as the words come to me from a place of pure honesty. They feel strange on my tongue. I never thought I’d be saying them, but after they’re out there in the world, hanging in the air between us, I realize it’s true. I’ve finally let Harry go. What’s more, I seem to have somehow given myself to Sam in the process, without knowing I was doing it. The words may sound odd, but the feeling couldn’t be more right.
“You don’t sound sure,” Sam says with a rueful laugh, and I realize my slow answer must have given him doubt about my sincerity. “I can’t be with you if you’re not sure, Lucy. One thing I won’t ever do is take someone to my bed whose heart belongs to another. There can’t be any ghosts between us if we’re to go one step farther.”
“There’s no one here but you and me,” I assure him. “No ghosts.”
“I want to believe it,” he says softly, stroking my hair. I lean into him a little, enjoying the feeling of his fingers lightly brushing my scalp. “You know I want you. My feelings can’t have been clearer, and I’ve never tried to hide them. I’ve wanted you since the day we met, when you tended my wounds so gently and lovingly. Not only are you beautiful, you’re special in so many wonderful ways. You’ve got a good heart, a strong, giving spirit, and bravery like I’ve never seen on a human and very few angels, whether or not you acknowledge it. I’ve never met anyone like you, regardless of species. My God, Lucy, I ache for you. But I won’t act on it while you’re still in mourning for Harry. I won’t share this with another man. Not this. If we come together, you have to be mine and mine alone. I won’t have it any other way. I need to know I have you, wholly and completely, without the trace of anyone else on you. There can’t be even the smallest part of you that still belongs to Harry.”
“Harry is a part of my past, Sam.” I nuzzle his neck and kiss him lightly there, causing him to grip my hair a little tighter. It’s not painful, and I enjoy the tingly, pulling sensation. “You are my future.”
“How can that be, when you were mourning the man so profoundly just a few weeks ago? Just a few days ago?”
“I was mourning him.” Why bother denying what was true?
“But,” I continue, “my feelings for you sprung to life the first time I saw your face, though I refused to admit it to myself. I felt guilty, because I felt like I was betraying Harry. The more we’ve been together, the more those feelings have grown, and I’ve tried my best to keep them to myself, because I didn’t know how you felt, and because I wasn’t sure if I was totally over Harry. But I’m sure now. When we kissed, all of those old feelings for him went away in an instant, and now it’s like they were never there at all. I’ll always love him as a person, and as someone who was once truly special to me, but that’s all. Sam, I love you like a woman loves a man. It’s the clearest thing I’ve ever known. Never, not once in my life, have I felt as connected to anyone as I do to you. It felt like my soul was reaching out toward yours when your lips touched mine. I know Harry let go of me the day you entered my life, and would want me to be happy, even if that means moving beyond him. Wherever he is, he’s got to know I was always meant to be yours. You must feel it, too, and if you do, then you know my heart is yours and yours alone. It’s there for you, if you want it. There’s no question, Earth Angel. I know.”
He stares at me a moment, as if he’s not quite sure whether to believe it. “I felt my soul reaching for yours, too,” he whispers, his sensual red lips mere millimeters from mine, causing me to shiver with desire. “We may be soul mates. There’s a test we can do later. If you’re sure…”
“I am sure. I swear, Sam, there is no one here but you and me. No one in between us. Harry is gone, and I’ve left him in my past, where he belongs. I want to be with you, always. Nothing in my life has ever felt as right as this.”
“I feel the same way,” he says, eyes brightening, believing me.
I relax fully into his arms, relief washing over me like waves on the beach.
Then, as it often does at inopportune moments, a question pops into my head, and I have to have an answer right then. I only try to resist the impulse to ask for a moment before giving in, as I know I’ll ask at an even more inappropriate time later if I don’t do it now.
“Do angels have sex like humans do?”
I blurt it out, just as Sam is leaning in to kiss me again. It’s obvious where this is leading, and I want it, but I also have questions. For a moment, there are two Lucys within me, one who wants to get naked with him as quickly as possible, and one who has to know what to expect from our approaching coupling. I never did like surprises. My long history of wrenching surprise party details out of people and seeking out my hidden birthday and Christmas gifts bears witness to how surprises drive me nuts. I like to know what’s coming, bad or good.
Sam gently pushes me back toward the bed into what will soon be a horizontal position. “We do. As you’ve seen, we are not all that anatomically different on the outside, other than the wings and a few other minor things. Inside, we are also more similar than you’d expect. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, angels do have sex with each other for recreation, and my large number of siblings is evidence enough that we also do it for procreation. It’s more for recreation when we’re young. There are no inhibitions against it, since it’s a natural act. It’s when it comes to love that it’s different. Love changes the entire landscape of sex for us, irrevocably.”
“How?” I ask, as he carefully lowers me back onto the pillows and climbs over me, straddling each side of my legs with one of his knees.
“We mate for life,” he says, his voice low, with a primal edge in it I’ve never heard him use. It’s sexy as hell. “Once we find our true love, we never copulate with another. It’s kind of like the geese on this planet. If our mate were to die before us, we would not take another. It’s a little different for me because I’m a prince of my kingdom. Royalty among our kind have arranged marriages. It’s the same throughout all the angel kingdoms of the universe. We are not permitted to search for our true love until we produce at least seven heirs. Once we’ve fulfilled our reproductive obligation to our family line, we can find a true love with which to mate, if that love is not our spouse. Our spouse is free to do the same thing. We remain married to maintain the royal alliances between our families, but we never come together in an intimate way with anyone but our true love again. With non-royal angels, it is much simpler.”
“Does this mean you have a betrothed?” I ask, suddenly jealous. I don’t want to be the mistress on the side, even if I am his true love.
“No. My parents wanted me to find my own mate. Unlike most royal parents, they put my happiness first, and as the primary heir, they were more than willing to give me free rein in this. They felt it would be better for the future of the kingdom. Wisdom is a strong suit in my parents.”
I breathe an audible sigh of relief.
“This pleases you?”
“It does. I don’t want to share you, either.”
“Once we do this, there’s no going back,” Sam warns me, giving me one last chance to back out. “If you have any doubts at all about being with me, now is the time to express them. If you change your mind later, you will be consigning me to a celibate existence, as I will never again lie with another.”
“I would never do that to you, Sam. And I’m sure. No turning back. It’s you and me from now on. No doubts. I want you, and only you.”
“Then I accept your heart, Lucy McDonald, and consider it the greatest honor anyone has ever bestowed upon me. In return, I give you mine. I am yours. We belong to each other now, and no one will ever come between us. You have my word on it.”
No words have ever sounded sweeter to me.
“I accept your heart, Sam, and am equally honored that you chose to give it to me.”
“There was never any choice for me. Only you. I would have waited to the end of time for you, Lucy. But, I must adm
it, I’m glad I didn’t have to.” He smiles that charming, dazzling smile that I’ve only seen on him and no other angel. Maybe it seems special and different to me because I love him, or maybe he really is just a unique kind of angel. Either way, I can practically feel all my molecules vibrating in response to it.
Then, I’m acutely aware that, while the world is still the same, somehow everything is different. Something inside me changes. I am no longer just Lucy. I am LucyandSam, a totally new being, and always will be. My soul finds his and clings to it, two pieces of a puzzle fitting perfectly together. Wherever we go, whatever we do, we will always find each other, because we are part of each other. The story reveals itself to me in this moment, something my soul always knew, but has kept hidden from me until now. Our souls were always part of each other, and though we lost track of each other long ago, it will not happen again. I’m absolutely certain on this point. This is the beginning of a story that was interrupted at the dawn of time. Now, it will continue as it was meant to. I never knew true love before Sam. Harry was a nice diversion, but only that…someone to keep me company until I found my other half again. This is a love so deep and profound, I feel it in every inch of my being, and it is wonderful.
And that’s before we start making love.
They say sex is like riding a bicycle…you never forget how to do it. It’s been months for me, but Harry and I were pretty active. I only ever had sex with two other men before him, and I can barely remember them. Still, I know how to do this, and am more than a little bit proud about being damn good at it. It’s a skill that’s always come naturally to me. But once Sam swiftly finishes the unbuttoning job I started on my pajama tops and rips off my panties in one smooth motion that leaves them in tatters, rendering me completely naked on the bed underneath him, I feel like a kid getting on my first bike without training wheels. It is all completely new, and I don’t even know where to put my hands anymore.
What is this going to be like? I can’t wait to find out, but I’m slightly alarmed at the same time. What if I don’t measure up to his expectations?
More importantly, how can one angel make me feel so completely disarmed and inexperienced? I may as well be a virgin again, for all the delicious nervousness and lack of prowess I’m feeling.
Sam doesn’t seem to notice my awkwardness. Instead, he stares down at me with a look of such powerful love mixed with indescribable lust that I feel like I might melt right into the sheets. No one has ever looked at me that way, not even…that person I used to be engaged to. What was his name again? Why can’t I remember?
“It can be overwhelming for a human coupling with an angel the first time,” he says, gently. “Just let your instincts take over. I won’t do anything to hurt you, I promise. Just the opposite, in fact.” He wiggles his eyebrows in a highly suggestive way. I nearly orgasm right then. Sam as an angel is sexy. Sam as a mostly naked angel on top of me is the stuff of sexual legend.
“I…I don’t know what to do,” I stammer stupidly. “It’s not like I’ve never done this before, but now, it’s like all that is gone and I’m a newbie. I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“You could never disappoint me, Lucy,” he whispers, leaning down to flick his tongue in my ear, and I swear I’m the first person to discover the human ear is capable of an orgasm. I moan in exquisite pleasure. “Don’t think about what you did before,” he instructs me. “With me, you are new. Just let yourself feel, and do what comes naturally. Don’t think, just do. Got it?”
“Yeah.”
I close my eyes and let my mind go blank, all memories of times in bed with former lovers disappearing forever, erased by the powerful presence that is Sam. It’s like none of it ever happened, and I really am a virgin, waiting to have my first time with my one true love. It’s magical. I feel transformed.
I reach out to remove Sam’s boxers, but find they’re already gone. Instead, I’m confronted with the most magnificent, perfectly built male parts in the universe. To my surprise, he is circumcised. I wonder briefly if all male angels are, or just some, but quickly decide it’s not important.
As my eyes grow wide in amazement, I reach out for his fully engorged, erect manhood (angelhood?), wrapping my right hand around it, feeling my fingers stretch out as they strain to meet together on the other side. At the same time, he slowly unfurls his wings, spreading them out to their full length and width like a great white superhero cape, only much more impressive. His sleek body has a delicate golden glow about it, and I can feel his entire being pulsing with energy, which is made manifest in the glowing. The only thing he’s wearing now is that teardrop-shaped blue crystal pendant he never removes. It makes him even sexier, if that’s possible.
“You are absolutely gorgeous,” he muses, stroking a lock of my hair, rubbing the fine strands between his fingers. It’s the first time he’s ever commented on my looks and it nearly sends me into an orgasm again. Damn, if even his words make me dissolve into convulsions of pleasure, what’s it going to be like when he’s inside me? I think I may need a seat belt for this.
“Stunningly beautiful inside and out,” he continues, moving his fingers to my hardened nipples, where he lightly pinches and twists them, then puts both hands entirely over my breasts and rubs them deeply. His hands are warm and the heat radiates into my breasts, making them putty in his hands. He kneads them like bread, then leans down and kisses each one, gently at first, then harder and more roughly, using his tongue to swirl the nipples into almost razor sharp peaks. “I’ve never met a human so thoroughly lovely in every way as you, Lucy. You are perfection.” He looks up from my bosom just long enough to finish his thought out loud.
As he moves down to better access my breasts, which he continues sucking on while moving one hand under my back and the other under my ass, my own hands are forced to leave his manly part, so I raise them instinctively to his wings, where they quickly become entangled in the mass of gossamer feathers that feel too light and nearly formless to even be real. Each touch of them sends shivers through my fingertips and into my whole body. Every single feather is an erotic machine unto itself.
Then, those lovely wings that are awesomely dripping of sex wrap around me, gently cushioning me in a cloud of ecstasy, and my knees rise up to lock around his waist. I am tingling with ecstasy in every molecule of my being, my lady parts lifting frantically in an unspoken plea for him to enter me. I think I might explode if he doesn’t do it soon. Each time his tongue flicks a nipple, I have to keep myself from screaming out his name and begging him to put his cock where it was always meant to be. If he doesn’t do it in the extremely near future, Linda is definitely going to know what’s going on between us, and there’s a good likelihood the whole block will, too.
But he waits, moving his fingers down to flick my engorged center of pleasure, rubbing it with the pad of his thumb, then with his whole hand, all the while keeping his other hand under my rear, gradually pulling up on me so my hips and pelvis are almost grinding into his, and would be, were his second hand not on my most sensitive area.
He moves up slightly to kiss, and then lightly bite, my neck near where it joins my shoulder. My hips are moving up and down against his, my hands still running through the feathers of his wings, only on the insides of them this time, rather than the backs. When he moves up even more to kiss me on the mouth again, I grip his waist, glorying in the rock hard muscles there, then graze my hands along his rib cage, feeling the outline of each bone, and finally make my way to the front of his chest, where I slightly rub his perfectly round nipples and run my fingertips along the outline of his finely chiseled pecs. It’s like being seduced by the most erotic sculpture in the world.
“Sam,” I beg. “Please…” I can’t quite articulate the words. His touch and kisses have nearly taken the power of speech from me.
He needs no further encouragement. I know in that instant that he was just waiting for me to ask for it out loud. He needed to hear the words, not just the cu
es from my body. He is a deeply literal angel. I numbly make a mental note to remember that from now on. Sam will only do something like this with my express verbal consent. The perfect lover and the perfect gentleman. Oh, God, this is the best thing in the world.
Before I can say another word, he hikes up my hips the rest of the way to meet his, and then he’s inside me, all the way to the hilt. I gasp in shock at the brief twinge of pain and feeling of something breaking as he enters me. What the hell? Was that a hymen? How in God’s name did I get another one of those?
He feels me tense and sees my bewildered look. “I told you it was all new with me,” he mumbles, running his finger along my lower lip before gently biting it.
I kiss him back, reveling in the feeling of him inside me at last. A million pleasure centers go off at once within me on every square inch of feminine flesh his manhood touches. When he breaks to kiss my neck and behind my ears some more, I ask, “Did you do this to me?”
“No,” he groans, lips lost somewhere in my hair. “You did. You became a virgin again when you gave yourself to me. Without even knowing it, you rearranged your molecules to create a new maidenhead. Part of you wanted to only be mine, and to only have ever been mine. With my angelic energy around you, you were able to make that desire a reality. Soon, you’ll learn to control it and will be able to create whatever you want, even without a boost from me. This is just the beginning of what you can do, Lucy. You have no idea what you’re capable of accomplishing. There’s a reason the archangels chose you to lead this war beside me, and I’m discovering all the reasons why right along with you.”
Good enough for me. I can always ask more questions later. There are more important things going on at the moment. That, in itself, is a frankly remarkable concession for me to make.
“Cool,” I moan as he nibbles on my earlobe, all thoughts of questions banished from my mind.
Then, he drives more deeply into me than I ever imagined possible. I lift my hips way off the bed to meet his thrusts, and he takes my mouth with a fierce release of passion he’s been holding back this entire time, while he let me get used to him. He’s not holding back anything anymore, and we are pushing and thrusting and shoving, kissing and biting and licking every inch of each other, our hands all over each other at once, soft and rough, gentle and savage at the same time. Sam growls like a feral beast, and I shriek like an approaching storm.
It is intensely romantic and unbelievably violent at the same time. I feel like we may actually tear each other apart in our eagerness to experience every inch of us as one being. There’s that feeling of our souls reaching out for each other again, and as we both reach our incredibly loud, primitive, and shuddering climaxes together, they touch at last. The wide-eyed look of utter amazement on Sam’s face tells me he feels it, too, and it’s something he’s never experienced.
I’m glad. I want this to be something we’ve only shared with each other. If we didn’t belong to each other before, we do now, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I know in my heart, without asking, that Sam wouldn’t, either.
Sam collapses on top of me, then rolls slightly to the side, keeping me wrapped closely to him with both his arms, his wings still circling me lightly like the world’s coziest and safest cocoon. I nestle up against him, my arms around his waist, my hands between his back and his wings, feeling both the skin and the feathers together. It is the most comfortable, protected, and loved I’ve ever felt in my life. I know beyond any doubt I am cherished. Sam needs to know I feel the same way about him.
I tip my head up from its resting place just below his chin and kiss him lightly on the lips. “I love you, Sam,” I say softly, the louder parts of my voice weighed down by deep, ancient emotions.
“I love you, too, Lucy,” he responds, sounding young, innocent, and hopeful, as a human man sounds when he’s saying it truthfully for the first time. I snuggle back up against him. It’s all that needs to be said for now.
I sleep nestled in his embrace, the best sleep I’ve had since we arrived in Vermont, and, truth be told, probably ever. When I wake up in the morning, he’s gone, his clean, meadow-like scent still lingering on the sheets like a ghost.
Earth Angel (Angels and Seers: Book One) Page 21