by Zoe Sugg
“That’s not true, Penny!” Noah laughs. “I seem to remember you kicking my butt at Mario Kart last time I saw you!”
“Aha! I knew it,” snaps Blake. “No excuses!” He shoves a controller into my hand and stretches out in a chair in front of a TV, placing a bottle of beer on the table and burping out of the side of his mouth.
“You’re on,” I say, sitting down beside Blake and putting on my best smirk as he starts a game of Forza Motorsport. I can’t say car racing is my forte, but I’ll give my best shot.
“Prepare to lose,” he chimes back, with a strange smile on his face. He takes a sip of his beer, holding eye contact with me until I feel uncomfortable and turn towards the screen and select my car. Blake stretches out with one leg up on the table, burping and swearing at his racing car. I might actually beat him! I can hear the rest of the guys laughing behind us, and Noah is improvising an entire song about bratwurst.
“Hey, so your friend Megan is something else,” Blake says without taking his eyes off the screen.
“What?” I’m so shocked I almost drop the controller, and my on-screen vehicle crashes dramatically into a concrete barrier.
Blake zooms past me and pumps both fists up in the air when he crosses the finish line. “Oh yeah! I knew this little girlie couldn’t beat me. Better luck next time.”
I don’t care about the car—but I do care about this new piece of information. “So, you and Megan talked then?”
Blake winks at me. “Why, you jealous?”
“Leave her alone, dude,” says Noah.
I look over at Blake, who is frowning in concentration at the screen. He’s a really strange character; I have no friends like him, no one to compare him to. He is so different from Noah that I find it hard to think of them being close friends for so long. Noah is caring, gentle, and funny, while Blake seems very unaware of other people and somewhat cold. I can’t place my finger on it, but something about him makes me feel uneasy. One thing I know for sure is that Noah wouldn’t be drinking beer at two in the afternoon while swearing profusely at an animated car.
I want to know more about Blake and Megan, but I don’t know how to ask. As the bus starts to crawl forward Blake throws his arms up in the air again.
“We’re OFF!” he yells, and my thoughts of Megan are lost in the infectious cheers of excitement that ripple across the bus.
Chapter Thirteen
Larry emerges from the front of the bus, a large German flag draped on his shoulders.
“All right, you party animals, we should arrive in the city within forty minutes. Use this bus as your base. A lot of the crew will be staying here, but I want you to feel as though you can come here for some peace, or a game against me on the Xbox. That includes you, Penny!” He gives me a little wink. “It’ll be hotels for the night in each city and then the travelling will continue in the bus or by plane to each country and city that we go to.”
“How much are we paying you to be our tour guide?” Noah shouts, and everyone else laughs.
“Nothing, you silly fool.” Larry throws the flag in Noah’s direction and he wraps it round himself. It’s nice seeing Noah in his element, laughing and joking with his friends and being so excited. It’s a whole other level of attractive, and I honestly just want to smooch him right then and there.
“That’s another forty minutes of me whipping your butt at racing then,” Blake says.
“I guess so,” I say, almost sighing. I take out the replacement phone that Tom has given me (his older, less cool one, which he doesn’t mind me losing or breaking) and I text Elliot.
Landed in Berlin and now stuck playing car games with Noah’s drummer, Blake, who smells like BO masked in aftershave and stale cigarette smoke. Did I mention he’s already on his third beer of the day and it’s 2 pm?! Please remind me why this is a great idea xx
I immediately get a reply from Elliot.
Princess P. Most impressed that you even managed to step onto the tour bus in the first place, but totally unimpressed that you are being made to play garbage on a screen in such a beautiful city. Please don’t come back to England with game skills and a lack of sightseeing knowledge. It would break my encyclopaedic heart. Think of the photos, the adventure, and the history. If that fails, think of the food. THE FOOD, PENNY! Magical Mystery Day in each city is going to be absolutely amazing. You can visit the Berlin Wall, the Brandenburg Gate, the Reichstag Building. And OMG have you seen the Fernsehturm yet? x
Elliot, I believe you’re forgetting that all I’ve seen so far are the dark windows of a tour bus and the side of Blake’s head. I also don’t know what the Fernsehturm is because I am not a walking encyclopaedia. MMD is the one thing I really am very excited about. It will be so romantic getting to explore each city with Noah. Hand in hand, strolling along sampling some of the finest international . . . cake xx
Beeindruckend, impressionnant, impresionante, fantastico! x
Elliot, in English please xx
Awesome. It all means awesome, Pen. You might need that for a few of the stops you’re going to make. PS The Fernsehturm is a television tower and the tallest structure in Germany at 368m tall. If I wasn’t enjoying an extravagant lunch at Browns courtesy of Alex right now I would be smashing my head on the table. Didn’t you research some of the places you were going before you left? I do love you, Penny, but you need to broaden your knowledge of epic-ness. That’s the first thing I’m doing with you when you get back. Let me know how it goes. My first day at the internship is tomorrow. WISH ME LUCK. All the love, your favourite gay x
I smile down at my phone and go to reply when Blake takes it out of my hand and places it on the table in front of us.
“How am I supposed to beat you if you’re not even playing? Put that away.”
“Rude!” I say, picking it back up and putting it in my pocket.
“It’s not rude. That’s just how you’ve chosen to feel.” He smiles and hands the controller back to me.
Noah stands up and stretches, throwing his arms high above his head and yawning dramatically. “I’m beat after last night and the early start. I’m gonna grab a quick nap in the back. Penny, is that cool?”
“Of course,” I say. Even as I say the words, I stare up at Noah, trying to communicate Please don’t leave me alone with your creepy friend with my eyes, but he isn’t as good at decoding my secret messages as Elliot is. He just smiles and heads into the back of the bus.
In an attempt to enjoy the next half an hour, I ask Blake a few questions about the tour, Noah, the drums . . . anything I can think of. His answers consist mostly of grunts and mumbles, but altogether it about amounts to a conversation. It’s not overly stimulating and not very enjoyable, but it makes the journey go a little faster and, since he’s not concentrating so hard on racing, I actually manage to beat him a few times (much to his horror).
“So, you’ve been with Noah how long now?” he asks.
“Oh . . . a bit over six months? It’s gone so quickly.”
“Yeah, that sounds like a lifetime! You know, this tour is a big thing for Noah. It’s his dream come true.”
Even though I’m not sure how to take the “lifetime” comment, I’m shocked that we are actually having a nice conversation. It worked! I softened Blake the grump. Playing car games was totally worth it to realize I had the wrong impression of him and he just needed to wind down. I’d always hoped I’d get on well with Noah’s friends and finally it’s happening.
I smile. “I know. I kind of wish I’d known him before he achieved his dream. I bet he never thought it would take off how it has. His music is amazing, though. He’s a great songwriter. I mean, I don’t know a lot about songwriting or the music industry but—”
“See, that’s the thing, Penny,” Blake interrupts. “You don’t know anything about the music industry at all.” His tone changes. My throat feels suddenly tight and my face starts getting hot. Blake is still looking at the screen and racing his car round the track. “I’m su
re you’re great, Penny. Noah obviously thinks so. I’m just not sure he thought about the consequences of having a girlfriend as his career kicks off.”
He puts down his controller and pulls out a packet of tobacco, then puts a filter in his mouth as he rolls a cigarette. I watch him and feel the horror of what he’s just said creep over me like a rash. I stay silent, waiting for him to say something, anything that would redeem him and this conversation.
“The tour’s going to be fun, though. Nights out in different cities, getting drunk, lots of girls,” he says through pursed lips as he continues to roll the cigarette.
“I’m not sure what you’re trying to say, Blake.” I stare at him out of the corner of my eye, but try to remain cool.
“ ‘Blake’ sounds funny when English chicks say it.” He puts the newly rolled cigarette behind his ear and gets up from the sofa to grab another beer from the mini fridge. When he sits back down, he’s so close his leg brushes against mine. “I’m just saying . . . in the dream of being on tour, there’s one thing on this bus that none of us ever wanted.”
I’m stunned into silence. I want to come up with something witty to say, but my whole mouth feels numb, like it’s been frozen solid. Mark, the bassist, comes over and picks up the controller from where it’s dropped out of my hands. “Mind if I take over?”
“Go for it,” I manage to say. I get up and walk towards the back of the bus. At the last moment before I enter the area with the beds I look back over my shoulder at Blake. He’s engrossed in the screen.
I put my hand on the door frame to steady myself. It’s only now that I notice how much I’m shaking, but it starts to pass, and I smile as I remember that there is a cure very nearby.
Chapter Fourteen
Noah rolls over and blinks his eyes at the light as I come in through the curtains.
“Hey, my girl.”
“Oh, hey. Did I wake you?” I sit down on the edge of his bunk.
“Nah, couldn’t sleep after all. It’s all too exciting.”
I nod, biting my lip. He sits up and covers my hand with his. “Are you OK? You look a bit pale.”
I shake my head. “Well . . .” I want to tell him about what Blake said, but I also want Noah to think I can get on with his friends. I’m also hyperaware that Blake is his best friend, and I don’t want to force him to have to choose sides between us. “How far back do you and Blake go?”
“Blake and me? He’s one of my oldest friends. We practically grew up together. My parents bought me my first guitar the same year his parents gave him a drum kit. I used to go over to his basement and we would jam. Our first band was called . . .” He hesitates.
“Aw, come on, tell me!” I say, nudging him.
“OK . . . it was called The Wizard Boys. We were kind of obsessed with Harry Potter back then.” He cringes, but it’s adorable.
I laugh. “That’s the greatest!”
“Yeah, Blake even used to pretend his drumsticks were wands and our lyrics were spells!”
“Are you serious?” Somehow I can’t square the image of the grungy guy outside with that of a sweet young boy rocking out in his basement and inventing magic spells.
“You might not have heard of the song ‘House Elves Just Want Some Love,’ but it was destined to be a big hit!” He laughs, but then his tone turns more serious. “When things really started happening for me—like Dean finding me on YouTube and signing me up to his management company, all that stuff—Blake and I sort of had a falling-out. He started hanging out with a different crowd and we had some major arguments. It’s one of the reasons why I completely retreated last year. Shut off from the world. I was ready to quit, throw in the towel. If I was going to lose my closest friends because of all this”—he gestures around the tour bus—“it wasn’t going to be worth it. And then I met you. My Inciting Incident.” He kisses my hand. “You showed me it was possible for me to have it all. You gave me the courage to repair things with Blake. Inviting him on tour is the best thing ever—next to you being here, of course. He’s a bit of a joker, but he’s been there for me from the beginning. And I know you two will get along great once you get to know him.”
My face burns—from the compliment but also because I can’t believe I was about to slag off Noah’s best friend to him. I had no idea how much history they had. If Blake is a joker, he’s probably just messing with me. I need to learn not to take so much to heart if I’m going to hang out with the band.
“Hey, I was going to wait until we got to the hotel, but I want to give this to you.” He reaches underneath the bed, where his travel bag is, and pulls out a box wrapped in gold paper. “For you. Go on—open it,” he says when I stare at the gold box.
I open it slowly at first, then I rip off the paper. It’s a brand-new smartphone. One of the fancy ones that I would never have been able to afford on my own. “Oh wow, Noah . . .”
“I wanted you to have a new, better phone since your other one was stolen at my concert. You can’t be happy with that old dinosaur Tom gave you. Plus, this one has an amazing camera.”
He’s right—I’m not happy with Tom’s old phone—but I also just want my old phone, with Noah’s doodles all over it, back. This fancy new phone can’t compare to that one, but it does help. I stare at it in awe. “You shouldn’t have! This is . . . this is too much.”
“It’s not too much, Penny, I promise. What’s the point of being a rock star if I can’t splurge on you every now and then?”
“Maybe because I can’t splash out back?” I say.
“Don’t think that way.” He kisses me on the cheek. “You’re my official anxiety monitor, remember? That’s got to be worth thousands. Come on—should we go back out and join the fray?” He edges to the front of the bunk, his hand outstretched.
“Sure,” I say. Noah’s given me more confidence. Maybe I do just have to give Blake a chance. If Noah likes him so much, he can’t be that bad.
When we emerge from the back of the bus, it’s to hoots and cheers. Noah puts both his hands up in defeat. “OK, OK, guys, settle down.” I feel my face flush red—why do boys have such dirty minds? I wish there was another girl around to help offset some of the testosterone.
Blake is back by the beer fridge. “You want one, man?” He offers a bottle to Noah, who looks at me, then back at Blake.
“It’s early, dude. How many of these have you already had? You smell like it’s three a.m. and you’ve just left a bar.”
“Geez, Noah, lighten up a bit. This is supposed to be fun! You’re starting to sound like Dean.”
Noah takes the beer bottle and cracks it open using the corner of the table.
“Cheers to us!” Blake clinks his bottle on Noah’s and smiles at me.
“Do you want a Coke, Penny?” Noah offers me a can from the fridge.
“Yeah, thanks.” I glance out of the window and am treated to the sight of a giant gate with massive pillars and four horses on the top. It’s huge and majestic and just what I expected from Berlin. I let out a little squeal of excitement. “Wow, look at that! Is that the Brandenburg Gate?”
As the others turn to look out of the window, I lower my voice so that only Noah can hear. “I’m so excited for Magical Mystery Day!”
“Me too,” says Noah, squeezing my hand.
“Elliot texted me earlier with a long list of amazing places we need to check out. There’s a structure that’s over three hundred and fifty metres tall and—”
Blake interrupts me with a snigger. “A what now? Magical what?” He looks at Noah and me.
I feel a wave of embarrassment as I think about how childish it must sound to Blake. But Noah jumps right in to defend us.
“Lay off, man . . . You wouldn’t know romance if it bit you in the ass!”
In typical boy style, Blake threatens to moon us, and instantly the tension is released.
Luckily, Larry shouts from the front of the bus that we’ve arrived—just before Blake’s pants can come down. Perfect
timing. Dean claps his hands together and everyone’s attention focuses on him. “Guys, I have some amazing news!” His eyes are sparkling like he’s won the lottery. “You’ll never guess who’s going to be joining The Sketch onstage tonight.” He pauses for a moment, letting the anticipation build. “Leah Brown! It’s a total secret for now, but the crowd will be absolutely buzzing! How awesome is that, guys?”
Everyone around me is jumping and high-fiving—this is a huge coup for the tour, and will raise the publicity levels through the roof. But, when I wished for another girl to be here, Noah’s not-really-ex-girlfriend was not who I meant. If I think Blake is making this tour difficult, I’m almost certain the arrival of Leah Brown means it’s about to get a whole lot worse.
Chapter Fifteen
The venue in Berlin feels twice as big as the Brighton Centre, and our footsteps echo across the stage as Noah prepares to do his soundcheck. There are people all around us, but having driven straight from the airport to the hotel to the concert hall in the tour bus, I don’t feel like I’ve seen anything of the city yet. We could be anywhere. The only indication this is Germany is the bright red signs saying AUSGANG instead of EXIT.
I walk right up to the front of the stage, staring out at the sea of empty seats that will soon be filled with screaming fans. Even though the place is empty, I still get a little shiver down my spine.
At least I won’t have to be out in the crowd this time. I have my backstage pass hanging round my neck and I look so attached to it that Noah joked I might take it to bed with me. I just might. I don’t want to risk another incident like what happened in Brighton. I won’t have any friends here who will be looking out for me.
I lift up my camera and take a picture of the empty stalls. I have a vision that I can layer images of the crowd on top of the empty seats and make some kind of statement on the nature of the relationship between performance and audience. Miss Mills would like that for my alternative-perspectives project. Is it still a performance if no one is there to listen? I wonder.