“What happened?” She looked about the room with glassy eyes.
“I think you decided to prove your reaction wasn’t theatrics. I stand corrected. Honestly, I think it has more to do with how little you’ve been eating. You’ve lost too much weight.”
She wrapped her arms around her middle as she pulled herself to sitting. “I’m fine.”
“Yes, people who are fine always fall to the floor with no warning.” He stepped to the desk, taking a butterscotch candy out of the bowl on top. “If you don’t eat something, I’ll take you to the hospital and have you checked out.”
“I told you, I’m fine.”
“And I told you, fine people don’t faint.” He handed her the candy, but she merely eyed it.
“I had a shock.”
He held his hand out flat, the golden candy on his palm. “Here, now you won’t have to touch me.”
“It’s not that.” She pursed her lips and plucked the candy from his hand. Their skin never made contact. “It’s hard to eat when your stomach is tied up in knots, when your mind is racing so fast everything is a blur.”
“Starving yourself will only make that worse. You need to take care of yourself.”
“Why are you doing this?” She pulled off the gold wrapper and popped the butterscotch into her mouth.
“As opposed to what? Turning you out into the rain and convincing Emmaline to lock the door behind you?”
She lifted her chin and met his dark gaze. “She may like you, but don’t be so sure you have her completely in your pocket. I’m sure she’d sneak me crumbs from your table, oh great and powerful Oz.”
“And why would you settle for crumbs when you could be at the head of the table?” Damn if his stomach wasn’t tightening. He always trusted his instincts on what to say and when to say it, but none of that worked with Lily.
“Be serious. I’m sure my father’s request was as much a shock to you as it was to me.”
“Not at all. There is a lot of sense to it.” He didn’t mention it had been his idea in the first place.
“But we don’t like each other. I appreciate that you gave him peace of mind, but why are you bringing it up as if it’s even a possibility?”
He crossed his arms. “Why isn’t it?”
Her brown eyes widened in shock. “You’re actually serious.”
“It makes perfect sense. I have almost everything I want. I have more money than I’ll ever spend alone, and this house is too large for one person.”
“I’m not getting married for room and board. That’s ridiculous. I’m sure if Dad had more time to think about it, he’d have seen that. He’d want me to get married for the right reasons.”
“Like the reasons he married your mother? Loving someone so much he couldn’t function without her? I’ve learned the hard way how the world works. I’m not asking you to love me. You don’t need to be in love to be married. I’d like a beautiful wife to come home to, one who understands how my world works and how to keep it running smoothly. You’ll have the life you’re accustomed to and my name.”
“I’m not going to marry you. I don’t even like you.”
“Why is that?” He’d always wondered what he’d done, what she’d heard that made her so wary of him.
“Intuition. I knew you wanted something from us, and you wouldn’t stop until you had it. People like you never do.”
“People like what? Uncultured, underprivileged?”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”
“Explain it to me then.” He sat beside her, pinning her with his gaze. Maybe if he could learn the answer, he could find a way around it.
“You’re a predator. You take what you need and do what you have to do to get what you want. I saw that the first time you came here.”
“Is that what you saw? And what did I have in my sights?” He stared at her, both loving and hating that she’d known he wanted her from the first. She was so much more than the demure, virginal, haughty debutante others painted her as. He couldn’t wait for the world to see what he saw.
She looked away, toying with the hem of her black dress. “I don’t know why we’re even talking about this. You should go home to your girlfriend. I doubt fashion designers take too kindly to having their boyfriends propose marriage to other women, even as a perverted business arrangement.”
He couldn’t help but smile at her imagination. “You don’t need to worry yourself about my latest mistress. They tend to take care of themselves. And besides, that has nothing to do with you.”
“You’re right, it doesn’t.” Lily stood and squared her shoulders. “I have no intention of marrying you, so what you do with your sex life is your business.”
This was more of a reaction from her than he’d ever had. He’d waited years for something to give, but it always wound up being him.
Lily pressed her shaky hands to her temples. “Why can’t this all be a bad dream?”
“This is reality, angel, not a story you can rewrite or a dream you wake up from because it’s not going as you planned. This is exactly why your father wanted me to take care of you. You aren’t prepared to deal with the real world with the way you’ve been coddled. Even your plans for what to do next lack common sense. You have a degree, but the only thing it prepared you for was graduate school. You say you’ll get a job, but where and doing what?”
“I don’t know, all right? Taking care of my father has been my priority. I’ll think about everything else tomorrow.”
His mouth twisted with exasperation. “This is life, not one of those novels you study. If you do beg a job off someone, it won’t pay enough for an apartment the size of your closet. If you ask for a job as a favor, there are men who will expect more in return than you’re willing to give.”
“And how is that any different from what you’re doing?”
“If that was all I wanted, I would have had you years ago.” He took a deep breath, trying to keep from screaming at her. “This isn’t a game. I could lie to you, could have gone about this an entirely different way. But you’ve been lied to and sheltered for too long. Our marriage will be an honest one. I want it to start that way from the first.”
“We will not be getting married. You accused me of acting like the heroine of a novel, but you’re the one treating me like some Regency-era spinster who’ll marry anyone willing to do without a dowry. I may not have many options, but I don’t have to marry you. Besides, if I’m as stupid and delusional as you’re saying, you really could do better.”
“You’re not stupid, Lily. Just overprotected and unaware that wolves dress in sheep’s clothing. I can protect you from that.”
She forced a laugh. “Imagine, the Big Bad Wolf scaring off all the other wolves. I’m sure you meant well when you made your promise to my father, but you don’t need to make any sacrifices on my account.”
“It’s no sacrifice. I’ve always planned on marrying you. When I told your father that two years ago, he tried to discourage me. You were dating that shipping heir, and he found him more suitable. But when he realized how little time he had left to put things right, and how poorly he’d managed everything, I became the only one he could trust to make sure you were taken care of.”
Lily blinked and reached out for the leather wingback to steady herself. “But you’ve never acted as if you like me, let alone want to marry me. I don’t know why you’d invent a story like this, especially after what you said about our parents’ marriages.”
“Love won’t destroy us as it did them, Lily. Unless you are already in love with me.”
“Of course not!”
“Then we have nothing to worry about. I know what I want, and I know what you need. It’s the same thing.”
“You have no idea what I need. It certainly isn’t to be on your arm in public while everyone around us snickers about your latest conquest.”
Jealousy, again. If she only knew. “No one will laugh at you. They wouldn’t dare. We’ll be a
force, you and I. Besides, we’ll be the perfect family they all envy. Especially if the children look like you.”
“Children? You’ve gone mad. I’m not some broodmare you can hire for the bloodline.”
“You really need to raise your opinion of yourself. This is exactly the life you want.”
“My God, you have it all worked out, don’t you? You’ll have this perfect facade of a family with me, and your string of mistresses to entertain you. Your life won’t change—it will just wear prettier clothes.”
“I’ve made the life I want, but I need more. I need you.” That was it, the ultimate truth. A weakness he hated to admit to, much less show so plainly. What more did she need?
Lily began to shake, her breath coming in short pants. “I won’t do it.”
He stepped closer, lifting her trembling chin with his finger. “Would you rather I seduce you? Insult your intelligence by tricking you the way everyone else has? Would that be easier on you?”
“No,” she said, the word barely audible.
“That’s what you’ve been afraid of all along, that I would seduce you into things that scare you. Open you up to a world different from the dollhouse you live in.”
Lily swatted his hand away and took a faltering step backward, reaching out for the chair again. “I don’t believe you. I don’t believe my father would have agreed to this.”
“Don’t you?”
“Stop it. I’ve had enough. I’ve had to face some harsh realities about my father, and today I had to put him in the ground.” Tears spilled from her eyes as her face crumpled in a sob. She tried to speak again but couldn’t rise above the emotion.
Jake lifted her into his arms, slightly surprised she didn’t fight him as he carried her out of the room, up the staircase, and into her bedroom.
She turned from him, holding tightly to one of her white pillows. He wanted to say something to stop her from hurting, something to make her see she was making this harder on herself than it needed to be, something to change her mind. But she took everything he said and tossed it back at him like a weapon.
Chapter Five
For the first time in her life, Lily Harris felt uncomfortable in her own home. Partly because it wasn’t hers anymore, but mostly because Jake Tolliver stalked the halls. As he had every right to since he owned them.
She set the bowl of soup on the tray Emmaline had placed on her nightstand and pulled her knees to her chest. She’d thought her life had been turned upside down when her father was diagnosed, and then again when he confessed his indiscretions. But this, his asking a man she didn’t trust to marry her, was completely…insane.
Her gaze drifted to her bookshelf. While earning a degree in English literature, she’d collected more than her share of historical novels. Even in Regency England, this would be odd. No doubt, Jane Austen would have had fun spinning it around.
The thought lifted her spirits a little. She’d missed her first week of classes, but getting back to school and returning to work on her thesis would make her feel normal. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t help her get a job or find an apartment. She didn’t even know how she’d afford tuition this term.
There was a soft knock on her bedroom door, and then the handle turned and Jake came in. Lily looked down to make sure her duvet covered as much of her pink nightgown as possible before addressing him.
“If having access to my room is a condition of my staying here, I’ll leave now.”
“Don’t make empty threats. We both know you won’t leave tonight. It’s late. I’m staying here, too, unless you object.”
“Can I stop you?”
“Would you want to?” He sat on her bed, right where her feet would be if she stretched her legs out. He nodded toward the tray. “I’m glad you ate something. You’ve lost too much weight in the last few weeks.”
“For a man with so much experience with women, you should know better than to discuss their weight.” Though the women she’d seen him with had no worries about that. He was lucky one of them hadn’t speared him with a pointy hip.
“You will take care of yourself.”
“How is it you can make food sound like a threat?” She rested her chin on her knees. “Is there anything I can take with me when I go?”
“I’d rather you didn’t. You belong in this house.” His hand covered her foot. Even beneath the duvet, she could feel the heat of him.
She pulled her feet closer. “I think you should go.”
“What is it you think I’m going to do to you? Is your objection to me really so weak that me touching you could turn everything in a different direction?” He reached for her again, this time holding her ankle through the blanket. “If it would make this easier on you, I could seduce you.”
“Yes, I’m sure you could.” She sat up straighter, her cheeks burning. “I’ve seen your list of references. I’m sure it impresses your fashionista girlfriend.”
He actually laughed. “Dee Gibson is none of your concern, unless you’re looking for a designer for your wedding dress.”
The audacity of the man. She closed her jaw, which had dropped open, and swallowed the urge to scream. “Even if I needed a wedding dress, which I don’t, I wouldn’t have your girlfriend design it.”
“You’re the one who keeps bringing her up. Should I be flattered you’re so interested in my personal life?”
“I’d have to be blind not to see it.”
“If it bothers you, remember this will all be old news tomorrow. What is being said about your father should teach you not to believe everything you read. Dee is my friend, and there are women who have something to gain by having their name connected with mine, being seen with me.”
“How kind of you to pimp yourself out.”
Derision and sympathy mingled in his glare. “You don’t understand how the world works.”
She might not be the most worldly person, but she knew women. They tripped over themselves to get to him because of who he was, yes. But it was more than the money and the handsome face. It was the vibrant power of him, the startling magnetism he kept under wraps. She’d missed the full effect before tonight, always avoiding being alone with him. Realization rolled across her mind like fog. She was wary of him, not because of his brutal business acumen, but because of his ability to scatter her emotions at will.
“Careful how you look at me.” His grip on her ankle tightened. “I might be encouraged.”
“Can’t you go?”
“And leave you all alone in your white bedroom? It looks like I thought it would. It suits you.”
He took everything to mean something. She’d decorated the bedroom in white when she was twenty and tired of the pink frills of her youth. It had nothing to do with virginity. She’d seen it in a design magazine and copied it.
“I’m surprised you don’t sleep in white.” His finger traced the collar of her nightgown.
“Sorry I didn’t live up to your image of me. I’m not the Barbie ideal you have in your mind.”
“I know you better than you think. Your father thought he was doing the right thing by keeping you so protected, but you’ve become so wary, you haven’t lived, and you’ve been too sheltered to learn how.”
She didn’t want to hear about another thing her father had done wrong. Up until a few weeks ago, it had been the two of them against the world. Or so she’d thought. They weren’t as close as she’d imagined, or she wouldn’t be so shocked by what her father’s illness had uncovered. She’d devoted her life to being the best daughter she could possibly be in order to help ease the ache of losing her mother, and it hadn’t helped him at all. She knew her father had doted on her for the same reasons. It seemed their best intentions had only wound up hurting the other.
Lily closed eyes heavy with unshed tears and took a deep breath before opening them again. “I can’t talk about him with you anymore. I’m trying to hold on to an image of the man I knew, not the one I’ve had to meet lately.” She stared up at him, w
ishing he’d show her some mercy and go.
Jake nodded, his thumb circling her ankle. “He knew you’d be happy with me.”
“You can’t make me happy. I’ll never forget that you took everything my father worked for. Besides, you don’t want happiness. You want people to envy you.”
He raised his other hand and traced his finger down her tear-stained cheek. “Actions speak louder than words. I’ve waited this long for you. I’ll wait a little longer for you to realize all I am offering.”
Lily turned her head, but he lifted his steady hands to frame her face and hold her still. “I’ll give you anything you could ever wish for, angel. I’ll make you happy. All you have to do is let me.”
Jake leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. A small voice inside told her to fight him, to run screaming out of the room. But she was too tired to fight, and another part of her wanted to know what she was struggling against.
He didn’t press or force, just kissed her gently as if the kiss were all he wanted. The touch was sizzling and exciting, yet wonderfully comforting. Trickles of sensation flared hotly through her body, a fire she knew he could easily stoke into a blaze.
Instead, he pulled back, staring into her eyes as his fingertips traced her forehead, eyebrows, cheeks. He leaned his head against hers, his warm hands still framing her face.
“Sleep well, angel. I won’t let anything hurt you.” He placed a kiss on her forehead and then left her.
Alone.
…
Lily peeked out the dining room windows, seeing Jake already dressed for the day in his perfectly tailored suit. She stepped back, sleepiness washing over her again. She wasn’t physically tired, just emotionally exhausted. But she couldn’t let fatigue keep her from speaking to Jake before he left for the day. She wanted to know when he was coming back, and she needed to put her plan in motion. In the past, she’d avoided him as much as possible, but now she sought him out with equal determination.
Before drifting off last night, she’d considered all he’d said. She needed a job, but as loathe as she was to admit he was right, finding one that would work around her school schedule might put her in a compromising position. She was already on a slippery slope with him, and better to dance with the devil you know.
The Billionaire's Reluctant Fiancee (Invested in Love) Page 3