Chapter X
A pressgang; beaten off by one woman--Dangers at Spithead and Point--Atreat for both parties, of _pulled chicken_, at my expense--Also ginfor twenty--I am made a prisoner: escape and rejoin my ship.
I must now relate what occurred to me a few days before the ship sailed,which will prove that it is not necessary to encounter the winds andwaves, or the cannon of the enemy, to be in danger, when you haveentered his Majesty's service: on the contrary, I have been in actionsince, and I declare, without hesitation, that I did not feel so muchalarm on that occasion, as I did on the one of which I am about to givethe history. We were reported ready for sea, and the Admiralty wasanxious that we should proceed. The only obstacle to our sailing was,that we had not yet completed our complement of men. The captain appliedto the port-admiral, and obtained permission to send parties on shore toimpress seamen. The second and third lieutenants, and the oldestmidshipman, were despatched on shore every night, with some of the mosttrustworthy men, and generally brought on board in the morning abouthalf a dozen men, whom they had picked up in the different alehouses, orgrog-shops, as the sailors call them. Some of them were retained, butmost of them sent on shore as unserviceable; for it is the custom, whena man either enters or is impressed, to send him down to the surgeon inthe cockpit, where he is stripped and examined all over, to see if he besound and fit for his majesty's service; and if not, he is sent on shoreagain. Impressing appeared to be rather serious work, as far as I couldjudge from the accounts which I heard, and from the way in which oursailors, who were employed on the service, were occasionally beaten andwounded; the seamen who were impressed appearing to fight as hard not tobe forced into the service, as they did for the honour of the country,after they were fairly embarked in it. I had a great wish to be one ofthe party before the ship sailed, and asked O'Brien, who was very kindto me in general, and allowed nobody to thrash me but himself, if hewould take me with him, which he did on the night after I had made therequest. I put on my dirk, that they might know I was an officer, aswell as for my protection. About dusk we rowed on shore, and landed onthe Gosport side: the men were all armed with cutlasses, and wore peajackets, which are very short great-coats made of what they callFlushing. We did not stop to look at any of the grog-shops in the town,as it was too early, but walked out about three miles in the suburbs,and went to a house, the door of which was locked, but we forced it openin a minute, and hastened to enter the passage, where we found thelandlady standing to defend the entrance. The passage was long andnarrow, and she was a very tall corpulent woman, so that her body nearlyfilled it up, and in her hands she held a long spit pointed at us, withwhich she kept us at bay. The officers, who were the foremost, did notlike to attack a woman, and she made such drives at them with her spit,that had they not retreated, some of them would soon have been ready forroasting. The sailors laughed and stood outside, leaving the officers tosettle the business how they could. At last, the landlady called out toher husband, "Be they all out, Jem?" "Yes," replied the husband, "theybe all safe gone." "Well, then," replied she, "I'll soon have all thesegone too;" and with these words she made such a rush forward upon uswith her spit, that had we not fallen back and tumbled one over another,she certainly would have run it through the second lieutenant, whocommanded the party. The passage was cleared in an instant, and as soonas we were all in the street she bolted us out: so there we were, threeofficers and fifteen armed men, fairly beat off by a fat old woman; thesailors who had been drinking in the house having made their escape tosome other place. But I do not well see how it could be otherwise;either we must have killed or wounded the woman, or she would have runus through, she was so resolute. Had her husband been in the passage, hewould have been settled in a very short time; but what can you do with awoman who fights like a devil, and yet claims all the rights andimmunities of the softer sex? We all walked away, looking very foolish;and O'Brien observed that the next time he called at that house he wouldweather the old cat, for he would take her ladyship in the rear.
We then called at other houses, where we picked up one or two men, butmost of them escaped, by getting out at the windows or the back doors,as we entered the front. Now there was a grog-shop which was a veryfavourite rendezvous of the seamen belonging to the merchant vessels,and to which they were accustomed to retreat when they heard that thepressgangs were out. Our officers were aware of this, and were thereforeindifferent as to the escape of the men, as they knew that they wouldall go to that place, and confide in their numbers for beating us off.As it was then one o'clock, they thought it time to go there; weproceeded without any noise, but they had people on the look-out, and assoon as we turned the corner of the lane the alarm was given. I wasafraid that they would all run away, and we should lose them; but, onthe contrary, they mustered very strong on that night, and had resolvedto "give fight." The men remained in the house, but an advanced guard ofabout thirty of their wives saluted us with a shower of stones and mud.Some of our sailors were hurt, but they did not appear to mind what thewomen did. They rushed on, and then they were attacked by the women withtheir fists and nails. Notwithstanding this, the sailors only laughed,pushing the women on one side, and saying, "Be quiet, Poll;"--"Don't befoolish, Molly;"--"Out of the way, Sukey; we a'n't come to take awayyour fancy man;" with expressions of that sort, although the bloodtrickled down many of their faces, from the way in which they had beenclawed. Thus we attempted to force our way through them, but I had avery narrow escape even in this instance. A woman seized me by the arm,and pulled me towards her; had it not been for one of thequarter-masters I should have been separated from my party; but, just asthey dragged me away, she caught hold of me by the leg, and stoppedthem. "Clap on here, Peg," cried the woman to another, "and let's havethis little midshipmite; I wants a baby to dry nurse." Two more womencame to her assistance, catching hold of my other arm, and they wouldhave dragged me out of the grasp of the quarter-master, had he notcalled out for more help on his side, upon which two of the seamen laidhold of my other leg, and there was such a tussle (all at my expense),such pulling and hauling; sometimes the women gained an inch or two ofme, then the sailors got it back again. At one moment I thought it wasall over with me, and in the next I was with my own men. "Pull devil;pull baker!" cried the women, and then they laughed, although I did not,I can assure you, for I really think that I was pulled out an inchtaller, and my knees and shoulders pained me very much indeed. At lastthe women laughed so much that they could not hold on, so I was draggedinto the middle of our own sailors, where I took care to remain; and,after a little more squeezing and fighting, was carried by the crowdinto the house. The seamen of the merchant ships had armed themselveswith bludgeons and other weapons, and had taken a position on thetables. They were more than two to one against us, and there was adreadful fight, as their resistance was very desperate. Our sailors wereobliged to use their cutlasses, and for a few minutes I was quitebewildered with the shouting and swearing, pushing and scuffling,collaring and fighting, together with the dust raised up, which not onlyblinded, but nearly choked me. By the time that my breath was nearlysqueezed out of my body, our sailors got the best of it, which thelandlady and women of the house perceiving, they put out all the lights,so that I could not tell where I was; but our sailors had every oneseized his man, and contrived to haul him out of the street door, wherethey were collected together, and secured.
Now again I was in great difficulty; I had been knocked down and trodupon, and when I did contrive to get up again, I did not know thedirection in which the door lay. I felt about by the wall, and at lastcame to a door, for the room was at that time nearly empty, the womenhaving followed the men out of the house. I opened it, and found that itwas not the right one, but led into a little side parlour, where therewas a fire, but no lights. I had just discovered my mistake, and wasabout to retreat, when I was shoved in from behind, and the key turnedupon me: there I was all alone, and, I must acknowledge, very muchfrightened, as I thought that the vengeance of the women woul
d bewreaked upon me. I considered that my death was certain, and that, likethe man Orpheus I had read of in my books, I should be torn to pieces bythese Bacchanals. However, I reflected that I was an officer in hisMajesty's service, and that it was my duty, if necessary, to sacrificemy life for my king and country. I thought of my poor mother; but as itmade me unhappy, I tried to forget her, and call to my memory all I hadread of the fortitude and courage of various brave men, when deathstared them in the face. I peeped through the key-hole, and perceivedthat the candles were re-lighted, and that there were only women in theroom, who were talking all at once, and not thinking about me. But in aminute or two, a woman came in from the street, with her long black hairhanging about her shoulders, and her cap in her hand. "Well," cried she,"they've nabbed my husband; but I'll be dished if I hav'n't boxed up themidshipmite in that parlour, and he shall take his place." I thought Ishould have died when I looked at the woman, and perceived her coming upto the door, followed by some others, to unlock it. As the door opened,I drew my dirk, resolving to die like an officer, and as they advanced Iretreated to a corner, brandishing my dirk, without saying a word."Vell," cried the woman who had made me a prisoner, "I do declare Ilikes to see a puddle in a storm--only look at the littlebiscuit-nibbler showing fight! Come, my lovey, you belongs to me."
"Never!" exclaimed I with indignation. "Keep off, I shall do youmischief" (and I raised my dirk in advance); "I am an officer and agentleman."
"Sall," cried the odious woman, "fetch a mop and a pail of dirty water,and I'll trundle that dirk out of his fist."
"No, no," replied another rather good-looking young woman, "leave him tome--don't hurt him--he really is a very nice little man. What's yourname, my dear?"
"Peter Simple is my name," replied I; "and I am a king's officer, so becareful what you are about."
"Don't be afraid, Peter, nobody shall hurt you; but you must not drawyour dirk before ladies, that's not like an officer and a gentleman--soput up your dirk, that's a good boy."
"I will not," replied I, "unless you promise me that I shall go awayunmolested."
"I do promise you that you shall, upon my word, Peter--upon my honour--will that content you?"
"Yes," replied I, "if every one else will promise the same."
"Upon our honours," they all cried together; upon which I was satisfied,and putting my dirk into its sheath, was about to quit the room.
"Stop, Peter," said the young woman who had taken my part; "I must havea kiss before you go." "And so must I; and so must we all," cried theother women.
I was very much shocked, and attempted to draw my dirk again, but theyhad closed in with me, and prevented me. "Recollect your honour," criedI to the young woman, as I struggled.
"My honour!--Lord bless you, Peter, the less we say about that thebetter."
"But you promised that I should go away quietly," said I, appealing tothem.
"Well, and so you shall; but recollect, Peter, that you are an officerand a gentleman--you surely would not be so shabby as to go away withouttreating us. What money have you got in your pocket?" and, withoutgiving me time to answer, she felt in my pocket, and pulled out mypurse, which she opened. "Why, Peter, you are as rich as a Jew," saidshe, as they counted thirty shillings on the table. "Now, what shall wehave?"
"Anything you please," said I, "provided that you will let me go."
"Well, then, it shall be a gallon of gin. Sall, call Mrs Flanagan. MrsFlanagan, we want a gallon of gin, and clean glasses."
Mrs Flanagan received the major part of my money, and in a minutereturned with the gin and wine-glasses.
"Now, Peter, my cove, let's all draw round the table, and make ourselvescosy."
"O no," replied I, "take my money, drink the gin, but pray let me go;"but they wouldn't listen to me. Then I was obliged to sit down withthem, the gin was poured out, and they made me drink a glass, whichnearly choked me. It had, however, one good effect, it gave me courage,and in a minute or two, I felt as if I could fight them all. The door ofthe room was on the same side as the fire-place, and I perceived thatthe poker was between the bars, and red hot. I complained that I wascold, although I was in a burning fever; and they allowed me to get upto warm my hands. As soon as I reached the fire-place, I snatched outthe red-hot poker, and, brandishing it over my head, made for the door.They all jumped up to detain me, but I made a poke at the foremost,which made her run back with a shriek, (I do believe that I burnt hernose.) I seized my opportunity, and escaped into the street, whirlingthe poker round my head, while all the women followed, hooting andshouting after me. I never stopped running and whirling my poker until Iwas reeking with perspiration, and the poker was quite cold. Then Ilooked back, and found that I was alone. It was very dark; every housewas shut up, and not a light to be seen anywhere. I stopped at thecorner, not knowing where I was, or what I was to do. I felt verymiserable indeed, and was reflecting on my wisest plan, when who shouldturn the corner, but one of the quarter-masters who had been left onshore by accident. I knew him by his pea-jacket and straw hat to be oneof our men, and I was delighted to see him. I told him what hadhappened, and he replied that he was going to a house where the peopleknew him and would let him in. When we arrived there, the people of thehouse were very civil; the landlady made us some purl, which thequarter-master ordered, and which I thought very good indeed. After wehad finished the jug, we both fell asleep in our chairs. I did notawaken until I was roused by the quarter-master, at past seven o'clock,when we took a wherry, and went off to the ship.
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