Chapter XXVIII
We get rid of the pigs and piano-forte--The last boat on shore beforesailing--The First Lieutenant too hasty, and the consequences to me.
We waited three days, at the expiration of which, we heard that CaptainTo was about to exchange with Captain Savage. We could not believe suchgood news to be true, and we could not ascertain the truth of thereport, as the captain had gone on shore with Mrs To, who recovered fastafter she was out of our doctor's hands; so fast, indeed, that a weekafterwards, on questioning the steward, upon his return on board, howMrs To was, he replied, "O charming well again, sir, she has eaten a_whole pig_, since she left the ship." But the report was true: CaptainTo, afraid to go to the West Indies, had effected an exchange withCaptain Savage. Captain Savage was permitted, as was the custom of theservice, to bring his first lieutenant, his boatswain, and his barge'screw with him. He joined a day or two before we sailed, and never wasthere more joy on board: the only people miserable were the firstlieutenant, and those belonging to the _Sanglier_ who were obliged tofollow Captain To; who, with his wife, his pigs, and her piano, were allgot rid of in the course of one forenoon.
I have already described pay-day on board of a man-of-war, but I thinkthat the two days before sailing are even more unpleasant; although,generally speaking, all our money being spent, we are not sorry when weonce are fairly out of harbour, and find ourselves in _blue water_. Themen never work well on those days: they are thinking of their wives andsweethearts, of the pleasure they had when at liberty on shore, wherethey might get drunk without punishment; and many of them are eitherhalf drunk at the time, or suffering from the effects of previousintoxication. The ship is in disorder, and crowded with the variety ofstock and spare stores which are obliged to be taken on board in ahurry, and have not yet been properly secured in their places. The firstlieutenant is cross, the officers are grave, and the poor midshipmen,with all their own little comforts to attend to, are harassed and drivenabout like post-horses. "Mr Simple," inquired the first lieutenant,"where do you come from?"
"From the gun wharf, sir, with the gunner's spare blocks, andbreechings."
"Very well--send the marines aft to clear the boat, and pipe away thefirst putter. Mr Simple, jump into the first cutter, and go to MountWise for the officers. Be careful that none of your men leave the boat.Come, be smart."
Now, I had been away the whole morning, and it was then half-past one,and I had had no dinner: but I said nothing, and went into the boat. Assoon as I was off, O'Brien, who stood by Mr Falcon, said, "Peter wasthinking of his dinner, poor fellow!"
"I really quite forgot it," replied the first lieutenant, "there is somuch to do. He is a willing boy, and he shall dine in the gun-room whenhe comes back." And so I did--so I lost nothing by not expostulating,and gained more of the favour of the first lieutenant, who never forgotwhat he called _zeal_. But the hardest trial of the whole, is to themidshipman who is sent with the boat to purchase the supplies for thecabin and gun-room on the day before the ship's sailing. It was mymisfortune to be ordered upon that service this time, and that veryunexpectedly. I had been ordered to dress myself to take the gig onshore for the captain's orders, and was walking the deck with my verybest uniform and side arms, when the marine officer, who was thegun-room caterer, came up to the first lieutenant, and asked him for aboat. The boat was manned, and a midshipman ordered to take charge ofit; but when he came up, the first lieutenant recollecting that he hadcome off two days before with only half his boat's crew, would not trusthim, and called out to me, "Here, Mr Simple, I must send you in thisboat; mind you are careful that none of the men leave it; and bring offthe sergeant of marines, who is on shore looking for the men who havebroken their liberty." Although I could not but feel proud of thecompliment, yet I did not much like going in my very best uniform, andwould have run down and changed it, but the marine officer and all thepeople were in the boat, and I could not keep it waiting, so down theside I went, and we shoved off. We had, besides the boat's crew, themarine officer, the purser, the gun-room steward, the captain's steward,and the purser's steward; so that we were pretty full. It blew hard fromthe S.E., and there was a sea running, but as the tide was flowing intothe harbour there was not much bubble. We hoisted the foresail, flewbefore the wind and tide, and in a quarter of an hour we were at MuttonCove, when the marine officer expressed his wish to land. Thelanding-place was crowded with boats, and it was not without sundryexchanges of foul words and oaths, and the bow-men dashing the point oftheir boat-hooks into the shore-boats, to make them keep clear of us,that we forced our way to the beach. The marine officer and all thestewards then left the boat, and I had to look after the men. I had notbeen there three minutes before the bow-man said that his wife was onthe wharf with his clothes from the wash, and begged leave to go andfetch them. I refused, telling him that she could bring them to him. "Vynow, Mr Simple," said the woman, "ar'n't you a nice lady's man, to gofor to ax me to muddle my way through all the dead dogs, cabbage-stalks,and stinking hakes' heads, with my bran new shoes and clean stockings?"I looked at her, and sure enough she was, as they say in France, _bienchaussee_. "Come, Mr Simple, let him out to come for his clothes, andyou'll see that he's back in a moment." I did not like to refuse her, asit was very dirty and wet, and the shingle was strewed with all that shehad mentioned. The bow-man made a spring out with his boat-hook, threwit back, went up to his wife, and commenced talking with her, while Iwatched him. "If you please, sir, there's my young woman come down,mayn't I speak to her?" said another of the men. I turned round, andrefused him. He expostulated, and begged very hard, but I was resolute;however, when I again turned my eyes to watch the bow-man, he and hiswife were gone. "There," says I to the coxswain, "I knew it would be so;you see Hickman is off."
"Only gone to take a parting glass, sir," replied the coxswain; "he'llbe here directly."
"I hope so; but I'm afraid not." After this, I refused all thesolicitations of the men to be allowed to leave the boat, but Ipermitted them to have some beer brought down to them. The gun-roomsteward then came back with a basket of _soft-tack_, _i.e._ loaves ofbread, and told me that the marine officer requested I would allow twoof the men to go up with him to Glencross's shop, to bring down some ofthe stores. Of course, I sent two of the men, and told the steward if hesaw Hickman, to bring him down to the boat.
By this time many of the women belonging to the ship had assembled, andcommenced a noisy conversation with the boat's crew. One brought anarticle for Jim, another some clothes for Bill; some of them climbedinto the boat, and sat with the men; others came and went, bringing beerand tobacco, which the men desired them to purchase. The crowd, thenoise, and confusion were so great, that it was with the utmostdifficulty that I could keep my eyes on all my men, who, one afteranother, made an attempt to leave the boat. Just at that time came downthe sergeant of the marines, with three of our men whom he had pickedup, _roaring drunk_. They were tumbled into the boat, and increased thedifficulty, as in looking after those who were riotous, and would try toleave the boat by force, I was not so well able to keep my eyes on thosewho were sober. The sergeant then went up after another man, and I toldhim also about Hickman. About half an hour afterwards the steward camedown with the two men, loaded with cabbages, baskets of eggs, strings ofonions, crockery of all descriptions, paper parcels of groceries, legsand shoulders of mutton, which were crowded in, until not only thestern-sheets, but all under the thwarts of the boat were also crammedfull. They told me that they had a few more things to bring down, andthat the marine officer had gone to Stonehouse to see his wife, so thatthey should be down long before him. In half an hour more, during whichI had the greatest difficulty to manage the boat's crew, they returnedwith a dozen geese and two ducks, tied by the legs, but without the twomen, who had given them the slip, so that there were now three men gone,and I knew Mr Falcon would be very angry, for they were three of thesmartest men in the ship. I was now determined not to run the risk oflosing more men, and I ordered the boat's cre
w to shove off, that Imight lie at the wharf, where they could not climb up. They were verymutinous, grumbled very much, and would hardly obey me; the fact is,they had drunk a great deal, and some of them were more than half tipsy.However, at last I was obeyed, but not without being saluted with ashower of invectives from the women, and the execrations of the menbelonging to the wherries and _shore_ boats which were washed againstour sides by the swell. The weather had become much worse, and lookedvery threatening. I waited an hour more, when the sergeant of marinescame down with two more men, one of whom, to my great joy, was Hickman.This made me more comfortable, as I was not answerable for the othertwo; still I was in great trouble from the riotous and insolentbehaviour of the boat's crew, and the other men brought down by thesergeant of marines. One of them fell back into a basket of eggs, andsmashed them all to atoms; still the marine officer did not come down,and it was getting late. The tide being now at the ebb, running outagainst the wind, there was a heavy sea, and I had to go off to the shipwith a boat deeply laden, and most of the people in her in a state ofintoxication. The coxswain, who was the only one who was sober,recommended our shoving off, as it would soon be dark, and some accidentwould happen. I reflected a minute, and agreeing with him, I ordered theoars to be got out, and we shoved off, the sergeant of marines and thegun-room steward perched up in the bows--drunken men, ducks and geese,lying together at the bottom of the boat--the stern sheets loaded up tothe gunwale, and the other passengers and myself sitting how we couldamong the crockery and a variety of other articles with which the boatwas crowded. It was a scene of much confusion--the half-drunken boat'screw _catching crabs_, and falling forward upon the others--those whowere quite drunk swearing they _would_ pull. "Lay on your oar, Sullivan;you are doing more harm than good. You drunken rascal, I'll report youas soon as we get on board."
"How the divil can I pull, your honour, when there's that fellow Jonesbreaking the very back o' me with his oar, and he never touching thewater all the while?"
"You lie," cried Jones; "I'm pulling the boat by myself against thewhole of the larbard oars."
"He's rowing _dry_, your honour--only making bilave."
"Do you call this rowing dry?" cried another, as a sea swept over theboat, fore and aft, wetting everybody to the skin.
"Now, your honour, just look and see if I ain't pulling the very armsoff me?" cried Sullivan.
"Is there water enough to cross the bridge, Swinburne?" said I to thecoxswain.
"Plenty, Mr Simple; it is but quarter ebb, and the sooner we are onboard the better."
We were now past Devil's Point, and the sea was very heavy: the boatplunged in the trough, so that I was afraid that she would break herback. She was soon half full of water, and the two after-oars were laidin for the men to bale. "Plase your honour, hadn't I better cut free thelegs of them ducks and geese, and allow them to swim for their lives?"cried Sullivan, resting on his oar; "the poor birds will be drowned elsein their own _iliment_."
"No, no--pull away as hard as you can."
By this time the drunken men in the bottom of the boat began to be veryuneasy, from the quantity of water which washed about them, and madeseveral staggering attempts to get on their legs. They fell down againupon the ducks and geese, the major part of which were saved from beingdrowned by being suffocated. The sea on the bridge was very heavy; andalthough the tide swept us out, we were nearly swamped. Soft bread waswashing about the bottom of the boat; the parcels of sugar, pepper, andsalt, were wet through with the salt water, and a sudden jerk threw thecaptain's steward, who was seated upon the gunwale close to theafter-oar, right upon the whole of the crockery and eggs, which added tothe mass of destruction. A few more seas shipped completed the job, andthe gun-room steward was in despair. "That's a darling," cried Sullivan:"the politest boat in the whole fleet. She makes more bows and curtseysthan the finest couple in the land. Give way, my lads, and work thecrater stuff out of your elbows, and the first lieutenant will see usall so sober, and so wet in the bargain, and think we're all so dry,that perhaps he'll be after giving us a raw nip when we get on board."
In a quarter of an hour we were nearly alongside, but the men pulled sobadly, and the sea was so great, that we missed the ship and wentastern. They veered out a buoy with a line, which we got hold of, andwere hauled up by the marines and after-guard, the boat plunging bowsunder, and drenching us through and through. At last we got under thecounter, and I climbed up by the stern ladder. Mr Falcon was on deck,and very angry at the boat not coming alongside properly. "I thought, MrSimple, that you knew by this time how to bring a boat alongside."
"So I do, sir, I hope," replied I; "but the boat was so full of water,and the men would not give way."
"What men has the sergeant brought on board?"
"Three, sir," replied I, shivering with the cold, and unhappy at my verybest uniform being spoiled.
"Are all your boat's crew with you, sir?"
"No sir; there are two left on shore; they--"
"Not a word, sir. Up to the mast-head, and stay there till I call youdown. If it were not so late, I would send you on shore, and not receiveyou on board again without the men. Up, sir, immediately."
I did not venture to explain, but up I went. It was very cold, blowinghard from the S.E., with heavy squalls; I was so wet that the windappeared to blow through me, and it was now nearly dark. I reached thecross-trees, and when I was seated there, I felt that I had done myduty, and had not been fairly treated. During this time, the boat hadbeen hauled up alongside to clear, and a pretty clearance there was. Allthe ducks and geese were dead, the eggs and crockery all broke, thegrocery almost all washed away; in short, as O'Brien observed, there was"a very pretty general average." Mr Falcon was still very angry. "Whoare the men missing?" inquired he, of Swinburne, the coxswain, as hecame up the side.
"Williams and Sweetman, sir."
"Two of the smartest topmen, I am told. It really is too provoking;there is not a midshipman in the ship I can trust. I must work all day,and get no assistance. The service is really going to the devil now,with the young men who are sent on board to be brought up as officers,and who are above doing their duty. What made you so late, Swinburne?"
"Waiting for the marine officer, who went to Stonehouse to see his wife;but Mr Simple would not wait any longer, as it was getting dark, and wehad so many drunken men in the boat."
"Mr Simple did right. I wish Mr Harrison would stay on shore with hiswife altogether--it's really trifling with the service. Pray, MrSwinburne, why had you not your eyes about you if Mr Simple was socareless? How came you to allow these men to leave the boat?"
"The men were ordered up by the marine officer to bring down yourstores, sir, and they gave the steward the slip. It was no fault of MrSimple's, nor of mine either. We lay off at the wharf for two hoursbefore we started, or we should have lost more; for what can a poor laddo, when he has charge of drunken men who _will not_ obey orders?" Andthe coxswain looked up at the mast-head, as much as to say, Why is hesent there? "I'll take my oath, sir," continued Swinburne, "that MrSimple never put his foot out of the boat, from the time that he wentover the side until he came on board, and that no young gentleman couldhave done his duty more strictly."
Mr Falcon looked very angry at first at the coxswain speaking so freely,but he said nothing. He took one or two turns on the deck, and thenhailing the mast-head, desired me to come down. But I _could not_; mylimbs were so cramped with the wind blowing upon my wet clothes, that Icould not move. He hailed again; I heard him, but was not able toanswer. One of the topmen then came up, and perceiving my condition,hailed the deck, and said he believed I was dying, for I could not move,and that he dared not leave me for fear I should fall. O'Brien, who hadbeen on deck all the while, jumped up the rigging, and was soon at thecross-trees where I was. He sent the topman down into the top for atail-block and the studding-sail haulyards, made a whip, and lowered meon deck. I was immediately put into my hammock; and the surgeon orderingme some hot brandy-and-wa
ter, and plenty of blankets, in a few hours Iwas quite restored.
O'Brien, who was at my bedside, said, "Never mind, Peter, and don't beangry with Mr Falcon, for he is very sorry."
"I am not angry, O'Brien; for Mr Falcon has been too kind to me not tomake me forgive him for being once hasty."
The surgeon came to my hammock, gave me some more hot drink, desired meto go to sleep, and I woke the next morning quite well.
When I came into the berth, my messmates asked me how I was, and many ofthem railed against the tyranny of Mr Falcon; but I took his part,saying, that he was hasty in this instance, perhaps, but that, generallyspeaking, he was an excellent and very just officer. Some agreed withme, but others did not. One of them, who was always in disgrace, sneeredat me, and said, "Peter reads the Bible, and knows that if you smite onecheek, he must offer the other. Now, I'll answer for it, if I pull hisright ear he will offer me his left." So saying, he lugged me by theear, upon which I knocked him down for his trouble. The berth was thencleared away for a fight, and in a quarter of an hour my opponent gavein; but I suffered a little, and had a very black eye. I had hardly timeto wash myself and change my shirt, which was bloody, when I wassummoned on the quarter-deck. When I arrived, I found Mr Falcon walkingup and down. He looked very hard at me, but did not ask me any questionsas to the cause of my unusual appearance.
"Mr Simple," said he, "I sent for you to beg your pardon for mybehaviour to you last night, which was not only very hasty but veryunjust. I find that you were not to blame for the loss of the men."
I felt very sorry for him when I heard him speak so handsomely; and, tomake his mind more easy, I told him that, although I certainly was notto blame for the loss of those two men, still I had done wrong inpermitting Hickman to leave the boat; and that had not the sergeantpicked him up, I should have come off without him, and therefore I _did_deserve the punishment which I had received.
"Mr Simple," replied Mr Falcon, "I respect you, and admire yourfeelings; still, I was to blame, and it is my duty to apologise. Now godown below. I would have requested the pleasure of your company todinner, but I perceive that something else has occurred, which, underany other circumstances, I would have inquired into, but at present Ishall not."
I touched my hat and went below. In the meantime, O'Brien had been madeacquainted with the occasion of the quarrel, which he did not fail toexplain to Mr Falcon, who, O'Brien declared, "was not the least bit inthe world angry with me for what had occurred." Indeed, after that, MrFalcon always treated me with the greatest kindness, and employed me onevery duty which he considered of consequence. He was a sincere friend;for he did not allow me to neglect my duty, but, at the same time,treated me with consideration and confidence.
The marine officer came on board very angry at being left behind, andtalked about a court-martial on me for disrespect, and neglect of storesentrusted to my charge; but O'Brien told me not to mind him, or what hesaid. "It's my opinion, Peter, that the gentleman has eaten no smallquantity of _flap-doodle_ in his lifetime."
"What's that, O'Brien?" replied I; "I never heard of it."
"Why, Peter," rejoined he, "it's the stuff they _feed fools on_."
Peter Simple; and, The Three Cutters, Vol. 1-2 Page 32