Chapter LIII
I am pleased with my new captain--Obtain leave to go home--Find myfather afflicted with a very strange disease, and prove myself a verygood doctor, although the disorder always breaks out in a fresh place.
The day after O'Brien had sailed for the East Indies, the dockyard mencame on board to survey the brig, and she was found so defective as tobe ordered into dock. I had received letters from my sister, who wasoverjoyed at the intelligence of my safe return, and the anticipation ofseeing me. The accounts of my father were, however, very unsatisfactory.My sister wrote, that disappointment and anxiety had had such an effectupon him, that he was deranged in his intellects. Our new captain camedown to join us. He was a very young man, and had never before commandeda ship. His character as lieutenant was well known, and not verysatisfactory, being that of a harsh, unpleasant officer; but, as he hadnever been first lieutenant, it was impossible to say what he mightprove when in command of a ship. Still we were a little anxious aboutit, and severely regretted the loss of O'Brien. He came on board thehulk to which the ship's company's had been turned over, and read hiscommission. He proved to be all affability, condescension, andgood-nature. To me, he was particularly polite, stating that he shouldnot interfere with me in carrying on the duty, as I must be so wellacquainted with the ship's company. We thought that those who gave usthe information must have been prejudiced or mistaken in his character.During the half hour that he remained on board, I stated, that now thatthe brig was in dock, I should like very much to have an opportunity ofseeing my friends, if he would sanction my asking for leave. To this hecheerfully consented, adding, that he would extend it upon his ownresponsibility. My letter to the Admiralty was therefore forwardedthrough him, and was answered in the affirmative. The day afterwards, Iset off by the coach, and once more embraced my dear sister.
After the first congratulations were over, I inquired about my father;she replied, that he was so wild that nobody could manage him. That hewas melancholy and irritable at the same time, and was certainlyderanged, fancying himself to be made of various substances, or to be ina certain trade or capacity. That he generally remained in this way fouror five days, when he went to bed, and slept for twenty-four hours, ormore, and awoke with some new strange imagination in his head. Hislanguage was violent, but that, in other respects, he seemed to be moreafraid of other people, than inclined to be mischievous, and that everyday he was getting more strange and ridiculous. He had now just risenfrom one of his long naps, and was in his study; that before he hadfallen asleep he had fancied himself to be a carpenter, and had sawedand chopped up several articles of furniture in the house.
I quitted my sister to see my father, whom I found in his easy-chair. Iwas much shocked at his appearance. He was thin and haggard, his eye waswild, and he remained with his mouth constantly open. A sick-nurse, whohad been hired by my sister, was standing by him.
"Pish, pish, pish, pish!" cried my father; "what can you, a stupid oldwoman, know about my inside? I tell you the gas is generating fast, andeven now I can hardly keep on my chair. I'm lifting--lifting now; and ifyou don't tie me down with cords, I shall go up like a balloon."
"Indeed, sir," replied the woman, "it's only the wind in your stomach.You'll break it off directly."
"It's inflammable gas, you old Hecate!--I know it is. Tell me, will youget a cord, or will you not? Hah! who's that--Peter? Why you've droppedfrom the clouds, just in time to see me mount up to them."
"I hope you feel yourself better, sir," said I.
"I feel myself a great deal lighter every minute. Get a cord, Peter, andtie me to the leg of the table."
I tried to persuade him that he was under a mistake; but it was useless.He became excessively violent, and said I wished him in heaven. As I hadheard that it was better to humour people afflicted withhypochondriacism, which was evidently the disease under which my fatherlaboured, I tried that method. "It appears to me, sir," said I, "that ifwe could remove the gas every ten minutes, it would be a good plan."
"Yes--but how?" replied he, shaking his head mournfully.
"Why, with a syringe, sir," said I; "which will, if empty, of coursedraw out the gas, when inserted into your mouth."
"My dear Peter, you have saved my life: be quick, though, or I shall goup, right through the ceiling."
Fortunately, there was an instrument of that description in the house. Iapplied it to his mouth, drew up the piston, and then ejected the air,and re-applied it. In two minutes he pronounced himself better, and Ileft the old nurse hard at work, and my father very considerablypacified. I returned to my sister, to whom I recounted what had passed;but it was no source of mirth to us, although, had it happened to anindifferent person, I might have been amused. The idea of leaving her,as I must soon do--having only a fortnight's leave--to be worried by myfather's unfortunate malady, was very distressing. But we entered into along conversation, in which I recounted the adventures that had takenplace since I had left her, and for the time forgot our source ofannoyance and regret. For three days my father insisted upon the oldwoman pumping the gas out of his body; after that, he again fell intoone of his sleeps, which lasted nearly thirty hours.
When he arose, I went again to see him. It was eight o'clock in theevening, and I entered with a candle. "Take it away--quick, take itaway; put it out carefully."
"Why, what's the matter, sir?"
"Don't come near me, if you love me; don't come near me. Put it out, Isay--put it out."
I obeyed his orders, and then asked him the reason. "Reason!" said he,now that we were in the dark; "can't you see?"
"No, father; I can see nothing in the dark."
"Well, then, Peter, I'm a magazine, full of gunpowder; the least sparkin the world, and I am blown up. Consider the danger. You surely wouldnot be the destruction of your father, Peter?" and the poor oldgentleman burst into tears, and wept like a child.
I knew that it was in vain to reason with him. "My dear father," said I,"on board ship, when there is any danger of this kind, we always _float_the magazine. Now, if you were to drink a good deal of water, the powderwould be spoiled, and there would be no danger." My father was satisfiedwith my proposal, and drank a tumbler of water every half-hour, whichthe old nurse was obliged to supply as fast as he called for it; andthis satisfied him for three or four days, and I was again left to thecompany of my dear Ellen, when my father again fell into his stupor, andwe wondered what would be his next fancy. I was hastily summoned by thenurse, and found my poor father lying in bed, and breathing in a verystrange manner. "What is the matter, my dear sir?" inquired I.
"Why don't you see what is the matter? How is a poor little infant, justborn, to live, unless its mother is near to suckle it, and take care ofit?"
"Indeed, sir, do you mean to say that you are just born?"
"To be sure I do. I'm dying for the breast."
This was almost too absurd; but I gravely observed, "That it was allvery true, but unfortunately his mother had died in childbirth, and theonly remedy was to bring him up by hand."
He agreed with me. I desired the nurse to make some gruel with brandy,and feed him; which she did, and he took the gruel just as if he were ababy. I was about to wish him goodnight, when he beckoned to me, andsaid, "Peter, she hasn't changed my napkin." This was too much, and Icould not help laughing. I told the nurse what he said, and she replied,"Lord bless you, sir, what matter? if the old gentleman takes a fancy,why not indulge him? I'll fetch the kitchen table-cloth." This fitlasted about six days; for he went to sleep, because a baby always sleptmuch: and I was in hopes it would last much longer: but he again wentoff into his lethargic fit, and, after a long sleep, awoke with a newfancy. My time had nearly expired, and I had written to my new captain,requesting an extension of leave, but I received an answer stating thatit could not be granted, and requesting me to join the brig immediately.I was rather surprised at this, but of course was compelled to obey;and, embracing my dear sister once more, set off for Portsmouth. Iadvise
d her to humour my father, and this advice she followed; but hisfancies were such, occasionally, as would have puzzled the mostinventive genius to combat, or to find the remedy which he mightacknowledge to be requisite. His health became certainly worse andworse, and his constitution was evidently destroyed by a slow,undermining, bodily and mental fever. The situation of my poor sisterwas very distressing; and I quitted her with melancholy forebodings.
I ought here to observe that I received all my prize-money, amounting toL1560, a large sum for a lieutenant. I put it into the funds, and gave apower of attorney to Ellen, requesting her to use it as her own. Weconsulted as to what she should do if my father should die, and agreedthat all his debts, which we knew to amount to three or four hundredpounds, should be paid, and that she should manage how she could uponwhat was left of my father's property, and the interest of myprize-money.
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